also eating chocolate

AU where people stop ageing till they meet their soulmate from here

  • Remus was 80 
  • or maybe 90
  • he wasn’t sure he lost count around 34
  • anyways
  • he was somewhere around that but didn’t look a day older than 18
  • he wasn’t too fussed about it either
  • like, sure, a soulmate sounded nice, but he had lovely friends and his joints didn’t hurt when he lifted heavy boxes full of books at work
  • he had a great kid and a wonderful ex with pink hair (who started ageing after she fell in love with this french woman and now looks five years older than him)
  • he could also eat as much chocolate as he wanted and burn it off with one run and a push up
  • so he was cool
  • one day he went to lily’s coffee shop and wow was the new server cute but eh he had work to do and the self esteem of a deflated basketball so he pretty much just shrugged and moved on
  • but then it happened
  • it started slowly enough- little things he barely noticed
  • a tiny wrinkle on the corner of his right eye, a wisdom tooth that started peeking, those sort of things
  • by the time he figured out what was going on he’d been to the dentist thrice and had tonks pick out a single grey hair
  • to be honest he didn’t really care about the ageing as much as who was causing it
  • he hadn’t met anyone new in forever
  • well, he met a bunch of new customers everyday but he hoped it wasn’t one of them because how was he supposed to track down???
  • so he did what remus does best- ignored it
  • that is, till lily told him about how james’ best friends had started ageing and was freaking out because he couldn’t tell because of whom 
  • and remus sort of casually goes like lol same 
  • lily figures it out bc she’s lily and a literal genius
  • anyways she gets them to meet
  • sirius has the personality of a spoilt rockstar and remus literally owns a bookshop but somehow it works
  • they live happily ever after and nobody dies

somehow woke up at 2pm today and it’s 100 something degrees out

everything feels gross