also did i win the race

Can we take a second to appreciate how well Shea took losing? She slayed the shit out of the competition, was the only Queen in 9 seasons to match Sharon’s 4 wins, she was practically ready to take the crown and when she lost to Sasha, she was so gracious and supportive and just the best sport ever. If I’d been in her heels, I can’t say I wouldn’t have taken a huge shit on Ru’s shoes before leaving the stage. Like she had so much reason and justification to be bitter and she wasn’t at all. That’s just fucking class act. But congrats to Sasha also, she did amazing in the competition too and I know she’ll do great things in her reign. 👌🏻👑

Seb has done a great job at winning the Tifosi over. One thing that is hard for people who are not Ferrari fans to understand is that once they adopt you, you are always family.
The most beloved Ferrari driver ever was Gilles Villeneuve who only won a few races and never a championship. Jean Alesi right there is another one who is very much loved by the Tifosi and he barely won 1 race ( I always remember Ayrton Senna saying he was a bit jealous that Alesi got asked for more autographs than him 😂).
Of course Schumi and Kimi too, they did win championships but they are not the reason why Tifosi love them so much. They are also part of the familia.
What I’m trying to say I guess is that right there is the Tifosi showing Seb their love. No matter what happens at the end of the year or the next or the next. He is already family.

That is something for example that Alonso didn’t achieve and is not because he didn’t win. He didn’t click. Felipe and Rubens did on the other hand.

Fangio won a championship with Ferrari but he is not as loved by the Tifosi as Froilan Gonzalez who only won a couple of races.

The Tifosi either fall in love with you or not. And the Tifosi have certainly fallen in love with Seb. Win or lose, he’s in for life.

I did a an on-a-whim multiplayer side project recently called Last Round. So far I’ve spent two days on it, might come back to it later.

Idea is it’s a deathmatch where there’s no melee, you only get one bullet, and you get awarded an extra bullet for every successful kill. When everyone has 0 bullets, a bullet pickup spawns somewhere in the map and everyone has to race for it. When everyone or all but one person’s dead there’s a new round, whoever wins the most rounds is the coolest person. Also it’s got my first person movement systems in it so there’s sliding/vaulting/mantling etc. 100% Blueprint as usual.

There are a bunch more vids on Twitter.

Not That Easy

length: 1,087 words

genre: fluff

requested by: @igot-scenarios ; I’m gonna do a part 2 of this for you at some point since tumblr was a bum and deleted the like 3,000 word + hella cuter version of this :\

summary: you get paired with johnny on we got married

Originally posted by woojaeibsul

You still weren’t sure how this was happening. But here you were, about to meet your ‘husband’. So many thoughts running through your mind, and you were so nervous you thought you might puke.

Would he like me? Would I like him? What if I know him?

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Only Good Girls Get Pizza // BamBam

Originally posted by wangseun

Pairing: BamBam x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Summary; You get your end of your results from school and your boyfriend BamBam helps you celebrate!

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Every time I think of IM3 there’s only one scene that sticks like glue to my brain - the one where Happy and Tony talk about flipping the tablet screen.

This was one scene that showed that you don’t have to be a tech wiz or tech savvy person to be one of Tony’s most trusted people and I laugh every time because it talks so much about who Happy is. This guy is the one who insists on badges, who doesn’t hesitate to hit Tony on the head to make him focus in the ring, who will indulge Tony in a race and will act like a smug big brother when Tony wins something. This guy is not at all futuristic tech wise but he is one big reason why Tony managed to stay alive for as long as he did before Iron Man. He isn’t impressed by Tony’s superhero business but he loves the guy and honest to god says that he’s jealous of his new friends. I mean, Happy is such a goober at times but also so fiercely protective of Tony, risking everything to keep him safe??? 

What I mean is, we need more Happy meta and mentions of Happy in fics (involvement that isn’t him just being the driver). 

If Wanna One lives in the same dorm that I.O.I did...

Here is what I imagined the room assignments to be and what each room is like (and how they decide who’s turn it is to wash up, just cause) :

Room #1: Kang Daniel, Yoon Jisung, Ong Seongwoo (aka Ongniel + Auntie Jisung)

This is the room Nayoung, Mina, and Chungha had. I think they’ll get along great in this room, they’re the type to rock paper scissor over the bathroom but still end up racing to it no matter who wins or loses (if I remember correctly, this room is the one that’s next to the bathroom). Also, I think a lot of meme making/planing happens in here.

Room #2: Ha Sungwoon, Kim Jaehwan, Hwang Minhyun (aka the power vocal room)

This is the room Yoojung, Doyeon, and Chaeyeon had. They are the more “mature” hyungs, so important private meetings/talks happen in here. Also, instant concerts in the room is not out of the question as soon as Jaehwan pulls out his guitar. And they battle out who gets the bathroom first by seeing who can hit the highest note xD.

Room #3: Lee Daehwi, Park Jihoon, Park Woojin, Lai Guanlin, Bae Jinyoung (aka the “teens room”)

This is the room Somi, Pinky, Sohye, Sejeong, and Yeonjung (? Idk I honestly don’t know where she stayed) had. This room is a loud chaotic mess. It’s the largest room but the 5 youngest members occupy it. A lot of fun happens here, probably a lot of dance offs. And they battled out who gets the bathroom first by probably tackling each other to the ground xD.

BONUS: they probably have a couple of cats that live in the dorm.

For me, in terms of story and quality, Moana deserved it much more. Moana just had so many “wow” moments like where I cried, got chills, or just had to take a breath to take it all in. It was just so beautiful with every element that got put in it: the voices, the story, the music, the culture.  

I feel like the only reason Zootopia won was because of the messages it had in it, but I don’t think the theme should be the sole reason that the movie should win. Both Moana and Zootopia did wonderfully animation wise, but I think, compared to Moana, Zootopia falls flat. It needs to take in account, not just the message/theme, but also the story and the structure of the narrative, the voice acting, the script, the music, etc. With this, I think Moana had much stronger elements.

Zootopia had an important message about poc, but they gave us that message by pretty much telling straight out, “Hey, don’t judge people without knowing them/accept everyone despite race, stereotypes, etc” 

But Moana had much more than that.They showcased poc that are rarely seen in movie entertainment, celebrated their culture, and showed how beautiful, loving, and heartfelt the people of that culture are through their story telling- all around a theme of following your heart/finding out who you are.

There was more to Moana than just the message of the movie, and that’s why they should have won the Oscar.

ok imma gonna say this right now but honest to god Blue Angel’s duel was hella more interesting than Playmaker’s. 

playmaker’s is literally just “oh all the cards you sent to the grave from my hand happened to have an effect that activates in the grave so i can do something with them and win also when did i have cyberse wizard in my hand to summon it i thought my hand was empty at the start of this turn?”

blue angel’s is layers of strategy and also some poor sop thinking they can out-burn trickstars, fucking trickstars! you don’t out-burn trickstars. cue burn damage race. down to the wire. really nice. also they don’t stop to explain the effects every single time someone gets burned so you get rapid fire damage shots at each other like some kind of shootout. very quick very fast very good. 

also good dynamic animation these duels too tbh, very nice. duels were fluid on both sides. very good. i appreciate this. new director is still showin his animation chops. 

This is the quote @curufinwefeanaro is referencing; I definitely read it wrong (as I read it as two sentences – ergo, two different points):

But Fëanor spoke then, and cried bitterly: ‘Verily for the less even as for the greater there is some deed that he may accomplish but once only. And in that deed his heart shall rest. Mayhap I can unlock the jewels, but never again shall I make their like; and if they be broken, then broken will be my heart, and I shall die: first of all the Children of Eru.

bold emphasis mine, Morgoth’s Ring, The Annals of Aman, pg 107  §120

This is also where he references that to break the Silmarils, it would kill him. 

Here are more fun parts:

Then Fëanor rose up and cursed Melkor, naming him Morgoth; and he cursed also the summons of Manwë, and the hour in which he came to Taniquetil, thinking in his follow that had he been at Formenos, his strength would have availed more than to be slain also, as Melkor had hoped. But now Fëanor ran from the concourse and fled into the night, as one mad both with wrath and with grief: for his father was dearer to him than the Light of Valinor or the peerless works of his hands; and who among sons, of Elves or of Men, have held their fathers of greater worth? 

 bold emphasis mine, Morgoth’s Ring, The Annals of Aman, pg 108  §123

And those who beheld Fëanor depart grieved sorely for him; but Yavanna was dismayed, fearing now that the Great Darkness would swallow the last rays of Light for ever. For though the Valar did not yet understand fully what had befallen, they perceived Melkor had called upon some aid that came from Without. The Silmarils had passed away, and all one it may seem, therefore, whether Fëanor would have said yea or nay at the last; yet had he said yea at the first and so cleansed his heart ere the dread tidings came, his after deeds maybe had been other than they were. But now the doom of the Noldor drew night. 

 bold emphasis mine, Morgoth’s Ring, The Annals of Aman, pg 108  §124

[Note: I don’t feel like typing it out, but it’s mentioned post that the reason why Darkness did not “win” – aka, Ungoliantë as she is called in this version – is because Melkor did not give up the Silmarils. He is both the reason why the Darkness nearly wins, but is also the reason why it fails.]

There countless became the hosts of his beasts and his demons; and thence there now came forth in hosts beyond count the fell race of the Orkor, that had grown and multiplied in the bowels of the earth like a plague. These creatures Morgoth bred in envy and mockery of the Eldar. In forms* they were like unto the Children of Ilúvatar, yet foul to look upon; for they were bred* in hatred, and with hatred they were filled; and he loathed the things that he wrought, and with loathing they served him. 

bold emphasis mine, Morgoth’s Ring, The Annals of Aman, pg 109  §127

[Note: The * refer to how Tolkien amended the word usage. Originally he used terms such as made and spawned. This passage goes on the mention “a darker tale” regarding the Orcs being formed from Avari-kin Elves, but this was also struck out – crossed out.]

Posting this because both Fëanor and Melkor remind me of each other sometimes, and this is some of why:

Fëanor was a master of words, and his tongue had great power over hearts when he would use it. Now he was on fire, and that night he made a speech before the Noldor which they have ever remembered. Fierce and fell were his words, and filled with anger and pride; and they moved the people to madness like the fumes of hot wine. His wrath and his hate were most given to Morgoth, and yet well nigh all that he said came from the very lies of Morgoth himself. He claimed now the kingship of all the Noldor, since Finwë was dead, and he scorned the decrees of the Valar.

– Morgoth’s Ring, The Annals of Aman, pg 111  §131

This is written in the notes and was added by Tolkien later in the Annals of Aman [Christopher often tracks time through writing usage; this is noted as “written in ball-point pen;” I love reading Christopher’s notes in his journey of studying his father’s works]:

Here they dwelt for a year, and here Indis wife of Finwë bore him a son, eldest of all the second generation of the Eldar. He was first named Minyon First-begotten, but afterwards Curufinwë or Fëanor.

– Morgoth’s Ring, pg 87 

anonymous asked:

Maybe some scenarios in poly!roadrat with a smol, shy and all around adorable s/o that loves pink and cute things, but when they get to know the s/o more, they turn out to be someone who can cuss up a storm? Thank you!

“How do I look?”

You walked out of the dressing room and did a small twirl for your two boyfriends, stopping with a soft, shy smile on your lips. Today was a ‘date day’, one where both of the boys would do whatever you wished; shopping, dinner, movies, etc. You had tried to tell you that they needn’t do such a thing but they said it was to show you that they appreciated your flexibility to their ‘lifestyle’. As much as you’d like to argue, you gave in knowing they’d be happier if you did. You had been walking comfortably through the streets of downtown when your eyes had lit up at one of the store. Their focus was on ‘cute’ and ‘soft’ and ‘fun’, aka your tastes perfectly. It took no effort to get them inside and soon enough you had several outfits picked out.

What you wore now was a rosy-pink knee length circle skirt with a cream sleeveless turtleneck, the skirt swishing with the slightest twist of your hips. Your shoes and black tights had been left in the dressing room leaving you to their gaze. Jamie’s jaw had dropped as soon as you stepped out, a dark blush climbing to your cheeks as you averted your gaze down before looking up at them again through your thick lashes. Mako gave a thumbs up, the smile on his lips very telling.

“You’re a knockout”, Jamie stated, practically in a daze. “That’s a keeper!”

You giggled, giddiness in your step as you turned around and practically bounced back to the dressing room. You were all smiles and roses until the side of your foot clipped the dressing room door, making you yelp out in pain.

“Son of a bitch”, you hissed at the door, glaring at it. “Oww….stupid fucking door.”

You froze for a moment before looking over your shoulder and seeing the surprise on both of the Junker’s face, you laughing bashfully before closing the door behind you.

“Mother fucker”, you cursed, one eye closed tightly, a black stained tear running down your right cheek. “Fucking stupid mascara keeps stabbing me in the fucking eye. Geez it feel like fucking satan decided to just jizz on my pupil for fun…ugh, dammit…now I’m going to have to do this all over again.”

“You alright in there?”

You froze at Mako’s voice, silently cursing yourself out as you realized you had more than likely heard all of that. You really were trying to keep a lid on your cursing habit but it was hard. You didn’t want that sweet, ladylike image to be spoiled by your dirty sailor mouth. They had expressed surprise the first time you had cursed but said it was fine. You didn’t want them to see the tip of the iceberg.

“I’m fine sweetie”, you hummed softly, trying to ignore the searing pain that remained in your eye. “I’ll be out in a minute!”

“Oh you fucking ass!”

Jamie had pulled ahead of you in the racing game you were playing by wiping your car out, your vehicle spinning in place and slipping into fourth. You jumped up from your seated position on the couch and began to move your body as if you were driving for real.

“Move you wanking piece of junk! My sodding grandma drove faster and she’s fucking dead! Oh you bitch! Move move move!”

You were practically jumping up and down as you navigated your car through the others, funneling all of your energy into winning this race, the world around you drowned out.

“That’s right you cunt! You show those bitches who’s boss!”

You finally slipped back into first right before the stop line, pumping your fist and controller into the air and jumping up and down in a circle.

“I did it”, you exclaimed before bouncing over to Mako. The taller man was reading, or he had been before your yelling had started. “Mako did you see did you?”

“Yep”, he said, laughing before looking at the shellshocked Jamie. “Also heard it.”

“Yer mouths as bad as mine darl”, Jamie said, your eyes round as all of your words came rushing back to you. Your face started to burn red, your hands flying up to cover your mouth as you dropped your controller. Before you could get your ‘I’m sorry’ out, Jamie had rushed forward and spun you around. “Yer even more fucking perfect than I could’ve bloody thought!”


Marcel Kittel wins Stage 10 of the Tour de France 2017, his fourth of this year’s tour and thirteenth career TDF stage victory. I believed he could win but honestly thought it would be too good to be true, but he did it and by quite a large margin. A stage win is also a incredible contribution to his advantage in the race for the green jersey. It’s fantastic to see him so happy and his joy was evident in his interview.

aniseandspearmint  asked:

*sidles up to you* You're doing headcanon things? :D Okay, how about a universe where Obi-wan and Anakin swap lives/upbringings. So we have Qui-gon's padawan Ani and little jedi jesus Obi-wan growing up a slave on tatooine? (Anf are you accepting more than one ask per person, BC I might have a couple more?)

(okay I already messaged you this, of course, but for everyone else’s reference, yes, I’ll accept multiple prompts as long as they’re in separate asks)

  • Twenty-five year old Tatooine junk-shop slave Obi-Wan Kenobi gently simmering in his years and years and YEARS of anger and attachment and Qui-Gon Jinn who has refused to take a padawan since Xanatos and FINALLY the Council just fucking threw up their hands and saddled him with nine year-old Anakin Skywalker, who’d been a problem child in the creche anyway and really really REALLY needed dealt with in one way or another. The crechemasters were threatening to quit if they had to keep dealing with him until he was thirteen and most of the Council was like “okay so we’ll expel him and send him to the Corps early” but Yoda was like “noooo A VISION I HAVE HAD” and took the Perfect Opportunity to ruin Qui-Gon’s life. Qui-Gon is THIRTEEN YEARS OVERDUE FOR THIS, OKAY?? YODA WILL DO WHAT HE WANTS. 
  • “… you’re a Jedi?” Padmé is like when she meets tiny Anakin and his teeny tiny practically-brand-new padawan braid. “You’re an ANGEL,” tiny Anakin is like, staring up at her in awe. Okay, Jedi are apparently REALLY INTENSE, then, GOOD TO KNOW, PADME’S GONNA HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT ONE. 
  • Qui-Gon leaves his teeny tiny practically-brand-new padawan on the ship and goes junk-shop trawling for parts with a handmaiden and a Gungan and meets Obi-Wan Kenobi, a slave with an AMAZING Force presence who hates to fly and isn’t mechanically minded at all, he is literally just sorting through the junk that’s not getting sold even by someone as silver-tongued as him. It’s cool, though, because Anakin is WORST PADAWAN EVER and followed them, and pops up like “well sometimes I go do illegal racing on Coruscant how about I build a podracer out of all these trash parts you’re throwing away and do it HERE? :DDD” Obi-Wan is horrified. Qui-Gon is intrigued. Maybe taking a padawan again WAS a good idea. 
  • “Please stop digging in our trash,” Obi-Wan is like. “Freedom?” Qui-Gon bargains. “… fine,” Obi-Wan grumbles, and then actually-trained Anakin wins the podrace like it’s nobody’s business and gives everyone about eight heart attacks in the process and Padmé is like “OH NO, JEDI ARE REALLY INTENSE” and is also like “omg why did we not just stay on Naboo and sic them on the Trade Federation, we’d PROBABLY BE DONE BY NOW, FFS”. 
  • Obi-Wan is very stressed. The Jedi keeps poking him, the handmaiden keeps asking awkward questions, and the padawan is BANTHA SHIT CRAZY, and also when they tried to board their ship some dude with TWO FUCKING LIGHTSABERS showed up and tried to murder them?? They managed to not die terrible deaths but it was still HORRIBLE and then Qui-Gon WOULDN’T SHUT UP about his “Jedi reflexes”, either, what the fuck come on DON’T WE HAVE MORE IMPORTANT CONCERNS RIGHT NOW, JINN?? “Quite definitely, yes,” Qui-Gon says reasonably, “But before that, can I check your midichlorian count?” “I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.” 

fantastical777  asked:

You think Obama was a good president? Honestly after reading what you say lately and searching a little about it, i think i could hes not the best, BUT neither the worst, i think is really more far away of being the worst. Just asking your opinion, you are my one of my favourites blogs here because i know more of the issues thanks to you.

Take social issues out of the equation, and what is left over is the same person when you look at Obama, the Bush’s, and the Clinton’s, and Nixon. Their accomplishments are primarily this:

>Hand democracy, government, diplomatic decisions, bill proposals, and crime management away to corporate CEOs, especially banks, and unelected international organizations

>Enable manufacturers to take production and the job market from American citizens, causing mass poverty and crime to increase.

>Change policy to enable corporations to manufacture in US prisons (where work conditions dont need to meet the same standards, including wages).

>Through “free trade agreements” enable manufacturers to be able to manufacture in third world countries that dont yet have enough independence and power to stop our corporations from systematically exploiting them and their government, to stop them from violating their rights, or to stop them from hijacking their governments indefinitely thereby preventing them from having protections of their human rights which dont serve the interests of unlimited neo-liberal profit.

>Increase policing, and mass surveillance and/or prohibitions for victimless “crimes”, in order to increase the prison population for the prison lobby that pays their campaigns to keep them in power

>Excuse Saudi Arabia for all human rights violations, political acts of aggression, and military operations, so that our corporate/political class can middleman their oil (been happening since ). Excuse them for pumping billions of dollars into radicalization mosques that they “charitably” build in their surrounding nations and any nation with growing muslim populations (whether due to already existing populations or due to immigration and refugees) including European countries, all while Saudi Arabia takes on exactly 0 refugees in their massive empty refugee camps. Buy weapons from the private military industry who lobbys for you to do so, then arm the Saudi-radicalized groups and have them fight eachother in order to destabilize the region, and help them along with drones and US military invasion. Destabilize the oil-rich neighbors of Saudi Arabia so our corporate/political class can middleman their Oil, and sell weapons in the process.

That’s Obama. That’s Bush and daddy Bush. That’s Hillary and Bill. That was Nixon. The list of politicians is much bigger than that, but those are the ones I can give you the most elaborate details about (if you were to ask for them and need sources), their exact policies on these matters, and the effects of those policies as they relate to mass systemic violations of human rights nationally and internationally. But essentially, that is neo-liberalism, crony capitalism, the force that will ultimately obscure liberal values and human rights. It is the systematic replacement of liberals & protected people with masses slaves. That’s it. The end goal of neo-liberalism is slavery, and they have the technology to do it, but not quite the will and guts to outright take aggressive action directly for it. All of these things are intwined and there is no wall between what is a political issue vs business issue.

And I’m not arguing it’s a grand conspiracy, it’s not, there is no single inner circle of people conspiring, it’s just the nature of power at work, it’s multiple sects and many powerful people working their own common interests and justifying what they can get away with and trying not to suffer the grave consequences of rocking the boat. Regradless of whether it is the intent whenever they make a decision, that is effectively what the ruling class is doing. Many of them likely dont even know what this system is heading toward for everyone. People are sheep, even the shepherds. Justification on top of justification buries the truth, even from the liar. It’s called a shut-eye (1:45). Good intentions pave the road to hell.

I wanted to add more about how religions and identity politics and neo-marxism plays into things, how the media is a propaganda machine, and how the media plays both sides of the chess board and essentially plays the role of divide and conquer toward the people who take it willingly and unwittingly, how the media is controlled by (literally 6 families) the same people who actively work to maintain as much control of the government as they can, how the two parties effectively work against all interests of the American people and people of foreign nations, both parties do so in the exact same ways as the other party, how both parties support corporations and banks the exact same ways, some stuff about the environment and food supply and energy industry, how Nixon’s free trade deal allowed China to sustain itself as a totalitarian state at the expense of the Chinese people and american workers (sorta covered that already), some side notes about Nixon’s reason for the drug war as well as corporate lobbyists who wanted to crush their the hemp industry competitors, some info about specific weapons deals, info about Saudi Arabia’s money in the US, some stuff about the “Federal” Reserve Bank, and some things about the drug war and private prisons and the Clintons in particular, some more things about Reagan’s similar involvement with these things, the history of our relationship with Saudi Arabia, and specific authoritarian bills that are typically blamed on one party but were passed with a ‘yes‘ by Bush, Hillary, and Obama. And on and on and on, but I could go on forever.

So instead, in short, I’ll just say that the position of President of the United States has been almost solely a racketeering business for a long time, that social issues are a carrot on a stick leading us this way and that for the interests of someone who does not care how it affects us, and politics are swayed more by a single corporate CEO or former CEO -on a state and federal level- than many entire states combined, especially if we started naming names of specific influential people. And also, things are not all black and white either, there’s a lot of nuance to all of these issues, and also also, don’t just take my word for everything or anything.

Also, on Barack Obama specifically, here is a list of his accomplishments:

-He is the first Nobel Peace Prize winner to bomb another Nobel Peace Prize winner

-He is the first US president to bomb a charity hospital, and with 100% collateral damage no less, killing 42, injuring over 30, with 33 people missing.

-He dropped 26,171 bombs in one year, in a war he was elected on the promise of ending

-He is the third president in a row to bomb more nations than any other president since WW2, and was ongoingly bombing all 8 of them at the same time at one point

-He is the 5th president in a row to have increased government debt to a massive new threshold. He raised the government debt from 10 trillion to 20 trillion. Tick tock

-Before presidency, Obama voted ‘yes’ to a bill written by a Bush administrator -who was a former Wall Street banker, btw- written to give themself the authority to spend 700,000,000,000 dollars on banks who were going to fail due to their own illegal business practices that had just destroyed the economy. The banks pocketed most of the money. And don’t forget the 800 billion dollar stimulus bill on top of that, passed when he made it to office.

-He is the first president to hire a private advertising company as a PR team, yes, he is the first president to have literal propagandists telling him and his circles how to be in order to keep a fals image of who they are to the american people. This is was brought to Hunger Games level on the Orwellian meter when he slowjamed propaganda about how wonderful the TPP is on a late night talkshow. Yes, the TPP, the most imperialistic bill that has every been conceived by corporations (and Hillary Clinton).

-Also, first black president, and he didn’t do shit to help black people, he often made them more upset. And just look at race relations now.

So yeah, fuck Obama.

He did everything the left hated Bush for. And for some reason, they praise him for it when he does it, because politics is fucking football apparently, and football is apparently politics. Did I mention Obama bombed an award winning charity hospital with 100% collateral damage, 0 targets in the building, and people literally burned to death? OH, and fuck me, I actually DIDNT mention the torture that the military is still doing. I’m just going to end this here for health and mental stability reasons.

Remember, with great power…. comes


[similar post]

In Pursuit of Fearlessness

I have started this post a handful of times and then stopped.  I guess the biggest reason why is because, oddly, it seems too personal (strange, coming from the girl who has blogged about nearly everything personal over the past two years…)

But, I can walk away from the computer or close a screen (defiantly clicking, “yes, I want to leave this screen”) but I can’t keep the blog from being written in my head.  The topic I’m balking at isn’t anything sordid or juicy…in reality it is probably, frankly, much bigger in my head than it is in real life.  

I recently visited my energy therapist (woo woo alert ahead) to undo some of the wedding stress. Inevitably, she always brings up my running, despite not knowing a thing about competitive racing.  Out of nowhere, she says I won’t see significant improvements until I let go of all my fear.  She said that while I can use my mental game techniques to overcome fears and anxieties, I won’t truly be my best until I reach a point where I don’t even need them.


My first instinct: defensiveness.  She said something that made me feel embarrassed and vulnerable. I pride myself on being a fearless badass.  In fact, today is the two year anniversary of my blog, which means today is also the two year anniversary of my big leap of fearless faith.  That has to count for something, right?

But, when people say things that make us uncomfortable in an introspective way, there is usually a reason. While I do believe I am the most fearless version of myself that I have ever been in my 17 years (soon to be 18 years on August 1st!) of competitive running, I am not perfect.  

I think I touched on this a little bit in my last post.  For instance, the first race of the season is especially scary to me.  The indisputable truth of exactly where your fitness is at is anxiety-inducing.  Failure – however you define it – can be scary.  Sometimes when I find myself being fearful before a race, I start to make excuses long before the race has even begun, or comprise exactly what I will say about it if it doesn’t go according to plan.  And I hate myself for doing that.  One thing that has helped me has been to “rewrite the story” and change the ending to something positive.  Still, I want to be at a point where I don’t even have to call upon these workarounds.

Lately I have been setting an intention each month for myself, and July was to have no fear.  I marked off two pages in my journal and each day I list something I have done (either that day or in the past) that was fearless.  In my head, I have to wonder:  what if I can shed even 1% or 2% of fear?  What if that change led to a 10% gain in performance if I never again thought, “what if I lose?” “what if I’m not as fit as I think I should be?” “what if I disappoint myself?”

The entire week leading up to my race last Saturday (the USATF IN 5k championships), I couldn’t shake a lot of the what ifs.  The funny thing – and definitely the part that that makes me mad at myself – is the fear is entirely internal.  I have zero fear that if I have a bad race it will affect sponsorship, or that my internet supporters will judge me, or that I will never be able to bounce back.  The biggest fear that I have is that I will have to deal with the disappointment that I will inevitably feel if I run slower than I think I *should*.  

The morning of the race I didn’t want to be there.  Well, I did, I was just in that weird runner limbo where you want the race to be over and to be feeling happy about a positive effort, but if the heavens opened and a pop up thunderstorm appeared you wouldn’t be too unhappy, either….

When I arrived, I recognized some familiar faces – including a friend of mine, Sarah.  This was good and bad.  My first thought:  here is my out – assuming she is in shape, I don’t have a chance at winning this one because we are not evenly matched at the 5k (Sarah is a professional steepler coming off of a great track season), and now I don’t have to struggle with any disappointment if I fail.  Guys, that’s a really stupid fucking thought.  I went through my warm up feeling like this and then, about 15 minutes before the race, I remembered my intention for the month:  be fearless.  

When I first saw Sarah I decided my game plan would be to run my race and not worry about her if she took off hard.  This was a way out.  I could go with the excuse that I was just running my race.

Then, after I decided to be fearless, I decided that I was there to try and run as fast as possible, no matter who showed up that day.  So, I decided I would take the race out as fast as I could.  When a marathoner races a track person, you have to rely on stamina. Go out hard, hope you run the other person’s legs off.  

I essentially went out as hard as I could, given my current fitness level (just coming off of 2 months of base building, running one fartlek a week and doing strides).  I led us through ~2.5k before she made a huge move and put 40 seconds on me.  I didn’t start my watch so I don’t know exactly what our mile split was, I do know that I went through 3k in 9:57 because someone was reading splits there.  After Sarah dropped me, I focused on continuing to push.  I went through 4k in 13:30 and finished in 17:04 to Sarah’s 16:23 (huge congrats to her- she said afterwards that was a road PR).

So, the thing I was afraid of all week wound up happening:  I didn’t win.  I didn’t get the $500 check that would have gone pretty far in paying our wedding bills.  But, in the process, I ran my 2nd fastest 5k ever, which was by far my fastest season opener ever….and I’m not sure I have ever raced 5 months out from a goal race.  Last year I did this race and ran 17:40 and was devastated; but, at the same time, 17:40 was also only a few seconds off of my then-PR, so I was just looking at that race with the wrong perspective.

This pic is from last year’s race.  Compared to the picture from this year, I can see on my face that I am running from a different place, mentally. 

At the end of the day, perspective is so important.  There is something that I like to do towards the beginning of every training cycle, and that is to run a relay.  Most years, that relay is Great Lakes Relay – a 3 day, 300 mile relay in northern Michigan that is as much navigation and strategy as it is speed.

The year we won - probably not coincidentally also the year we had a full team!

A couple years ago I did Red Eye Relay, which is an overnight, 110 mile relay in Bloomington.

This year, I am running the 8 hour Dream Endurance Relay with one of my bridesmaids and a volee teammate.  The relay takes place from noon – 8 PM and we each plan to run just under 3 hours.  The forecast looks like it is going to be in the 90s and humid.

I would argue that these relays are one of the most important things that I do in my training each year.  For one, they build fearlessness.  I have no worries about running in the heat for that long, because I have already experienced that in each relay I have participated in.  Two, relays embody everything that is good about the sport: perseverance, accomplishment, teamwork, and the satisfaction of utter exhaustion.  When running takes a step from hobby to kinda-trying-to-make-a-living-doing-this, relays are a really refreshing way to remember why you got started with this sport in the first place.  

They’re also hard AF. Day 3 of Great Lakes Relay makes your legs feel unlike anything you have ever experienced.  The day before my first marathon, I remember thinking that I had survived GLR three times, so a marathon was going to be far easier in comparison.

At this level of training and competing, I’m always amazed at how many slight changes can be made in search of incremental gains.  I could run 110 miles per week instead of 100, and see improvement so long as I don’t break my body.  Better attention to fueling and recovery makes a difference, as does working with a mental game coach and a massage therapist.  

But, at the end of the day, how much does it matter if you still have fears that hold you back? This year is going to be the year of shedding any remaining fears that I have, and I’m happy that I seem to be off to a good start.  

anonymous asked:

hmmm okay 1) what season did you start watching Drag Race? how long ago did you begin? 2) if you could meet any drag race queen, judge, or guest judge, who would it be and where would you want to meet them? 3) do you prefer fishy queens, dramatic makeup queens, or something else? 4) what’s your favorite season? 5) if all of the queens first to be eliminated competed against each other, who do you think would win? 6) which queen has influenced you the most? who do you look up to?

1) i started at season 1 bc im obsessive and have to watch things in chronological order im a mess lmao and it was probably a year and a half or so ago?? but i rly got obsessed w it june this year

2) ohgod none of them  i would probably pass out right in front of them and have a heart attack and die thats is 2 Overwhelming

3) tbh i love it all, i love seeing each queens style and ohw they do their makeup bc everyone does something silghtly different to anyone else and its frickin cool af

4) favourite season as2 duh but next to that season 5

5) this ones tricky bc if u include laila and dax through technicalities i think both of them would do well, overall though tempest for sure or s h a n g e l a

6) tbh i think they’ve all influenced me in some way, whether its on how to treat other people or inspiring me or even w some of them how not to act, the ones i definitely look up to the most in terms of rugirls though are alaska and violet. i call a lot of the girls angel but when i call them (or anyone rly) an angel i really mean it bc they save my life and are saving my life everyday

Yowamushi Pedal: Grande Road Ep. 10 - The Domain that Lies Ahead

There’s some interesting differences between the manga (Arakita’s Spare Bike) and this episode of Yowamushi Pedal: Grande Road (“The Domain that Lies Ahead”). I’ve attempted to highlight some differences, and also have added some of my thoughts! I really enjoyed this episode and love Yocchin’s Arakita, so I hope you also enjoyed it! 

The most obvious difference is that this flashback sequence did not previously exist in the original YWPD manga. Instead, this closer look into Arakita’s backstory actually came from an extra, called “Spare Bike,” which delves into the third years’ backstories. What originally was in this sequence was the backstory from Episode 20 of Yowamushi Pedal, “Arakita and Imaizumi." 

Moving forward–!! 

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