also coloring was a nightmare...like always

anonymous asked:

Harry x Uma headcanon?

Not a ship that I’m super into, but I’ll give this a shot…

As captain and first mate, they’re in charge of the whole ship, including some younger kids. Since Uma’s a girl and Harry’s a boy, the crew just kind of…assumes that Uma is motherly and kind while Harry is fatherly and stern.

But no.

 - being a woman and in charge, Uma immediately shuts down any ‘mother hen’ stereotypes. Now, she does take care of her crew, but she didn’t get to be feared by babying people and being loving.

 - Harry, however, takes the mom role and runs with it. Maybe he’s insane and creepy, but he knows everyone’s birthday and will blow you goodnight kisses

 - come to Uma with a scraped knee and she’ll roll her eyes, but go to Harry and he’ll grin, says he’s proud and tell you what to do to make sure it scars

 - when the younger kids are running around playing with swords, Uma shouts at them to stop, stomps over real angry, grabs the swords from them and is like “THIS is how you hold your weapon and THIS is how you wield it!”

 - any quarrels in the crew get taken to Harry and when he can’t solve anything, he throws his hands up and yells “You just wait until Uma gets home!”

 - new mates always think Harry will be mean and strict, but he’s the favorite ‘parent’, sneaking booze on board and keeping the secret of any forbidden pets hiding on the ship

- when any of the young girls have a nightmare or get bullied, Harry shows her his make up and lets her do his eyeliner for him in any color they she wants

 - Uma also tells jokes that only she finds funny, like ‘dad jokes’ and if you don’t laugh, she will glare at you until you do

So… Uma’s the dad of the ship and Harry’s the mom and Gil is the uncle who sometimes pops up for threesomes.

5

Ed, Edd n Eddy - fan art / July 2016. — Hahaa, this show means everything to me. My favorite characters are of course the three Ed-boys, though I didn’t like Eddy when I was younger. Can you imagine! He’s awesome! Maybe his greediness made me angry or something. Kevin (and Jimmy) are surprisingly fun to draw. There’s no other characters because I’m lazy, but maybe some other time. Also sorry about the messy quality, pages in my sketchbook are super thin and scanning anything is a nightmare… 

By now you must have heard of the legend of the Mountain Lodge candle. Far away, in a suburban Yankee Candle store, hidden beneath the candles that smell of flowers and the candles that smell of bacon and the candles that smell of unnecessarily gendered products, there is a candle the color of heart’s blood that smells of your new boyfriend.

Many have heard of the candle; some have even undertaken the great Journey to acquire it. Friday, during our lunch break, Alanna and I decided to join the chosen few. (Or like, chosen millions, because presumably this place sells a lot of goddamn candles.)

Alanna and I live in New York City. We are young, attractive, successful-especially-for-our-age feminists. We have had less success dating in this godforsaken city as we should, given how hot and amazing we are. A candle boyfriend, we decided, would be much easier to acquire. Pair the scene of this candle with the vibrator of you choosing and voila: Candle Boyfriend.

So we went. “The first dude we imagine when we smell the candle should be the dude we print out and put on the side of the candle,” Alanna suggested, because Alanna is a witch and believes in the power of manifesting one’s future. I was pretty sure I was going to smell Chris Evans, just because I am very suggestible about certain things, but I accepted her logic.

The Bed, Bath, and Beyond in Union Square is a living nightmare. It’s laid out as if there’s a Minotaur being kept from murdering people inside, only there is also always approximately the population of Moscow inside it. Alanna and I knew the dangers, but we went regardless. After several harrowing minutes and a close call involving an enormous shelf covered in several different sizes of decorative baskets, we found the candle selection.

There was an entire wall of Yankee Candles in every conceivable size and color and odor.

There was no Mountain Lodge.

“GODDAMN IT,” said I.

“I JUST WANTED A CANDLE THAT SMELLED LIKE CHRIS EVANS,” said Alanna. A passing person who was not in search of a Candle Boyfriend looked at us in alarm. I can’t really blame her.

“Maybe we can find something that smells similar?” I asked, skeptical that more than one kind of candle could produce the fantastical magic of Mountain Lodge.

Alanna looked at the wall of candles and shrugged. “Worth a shot.”

We smelled exactly two candles. The first was this candle:

Have you ever met a man and known immediately that he was the kind of man who was deeply concerned with whether his penis was small, regardless of his actual length, girth, or ability to please a partner? This candle smells like a man who was deeply concerned with whether or not he had a small penis. This candle smells like every man who had ever visited a website about being a Pickup Artist. This candle smells like that guy who wore a top hat all the time on that one VH1 show about being a Pickup Artist. This candle smells like every dude who has ever sent us a Tinder message requesting nudes before so much as saying “hello,” and every dude who has ever tried to neg a woman. This candle is pure, distilled essence of fuckboy. This candle is the candle version of a fedora. OF COURSE this was the candle we found. OF COURSE IT WAS.

The second was this candle:

This candle smelled like fucking Axe.

We gave up and went back to work.

This story has a happy ending, however, because I took to Twitter to bemoan my inability to find anything but fuckboy candles:

and the god/community manager of Yankee Candle heard my plea:

And then they called me Bae.

Candle Boyfriend is in the mail. MOUNTAIN LODGE.

khaleesi

Shane headcanons shane headcanons shane headcanons SHANE HEADCANONS.

I got more for you lovelies, I’ve either already written about some of them or I plan to, so may not be surprising to see them here, but feel like for those not familiar with my writing but still like headcanon posts, it’d be nice to see!

These are mostly Shane and Jas headcanons, since I love to think about their relationship.

  • Shane has self-harmed in the past, cutting. He wears his jacket almost all of the time because of it, as he doesn’t like people questioning him about it and doesn’t want Jas to find out, since she already has anxiety issues with her young age.
  • Unfortunately, Jas did find out one day, when Shane felt a bit too hot to wear his jacket. He explained to her it was because of sadness he felt after having to quit soccer, but he fights the sadness so it doesn’t hurt him anymore.
  • Jas put bandages over the scars the first time she found out, in order to “help the owies.” Ever since then, Shane always wears bandages over his wrists.
  • The first time Jas got sick, Shane was absolutely panicked. He ended up rushing out in the middle of the night to get Harvey, even though it turned out to be just a simple cold.
  • Shane has slipped up quite a few times and called Jas his daughter before. He always catches himself and clarifies, but he does really care about her like if she were his own.
  • (Post that inspired it) Shane partakes in book clubs with Jas, which mostly involve him, her and her stuffed animals, though sometimes Marnie or Vincent joins in. It’s always kids books, but Shane always partakes when he has a chance to make Jas happy.
  • Shane’s favorite holiday is the Egg Festival, as he loves coloring eggs with Jas and watching her have a blast looking for eggs.
  • Shane will often read Jas to sleep if she’s having trouble going to sleep, or woke from a nightmare. He also always pampers her with sweets when she does have nightmares.

Now for some normal Shane headcanons!

  • (NSFW) Shane is an utterly filthy talker when he’s aroused. His filter is just completely gone, and often speaks without thinking.
  • Despite Shane being a firm believer that all things magic has a scientific explanation, he actually has potent magical energies within him he hasn’t tapped into yet. Indeed, Rasmodius is starting to take an interest as the energies continue to grow…
  • Shane actually has really bad balance. He tends to lose it without any provocation, though he rarely ever out and out falls. Part of it is due to his horrible leg.
  • Shane is approaching 29 in terms of age.
  • Shane surprisingly has a friendship with Elliott. While the two didn’t get along initially, due to Elliott’s dislike of the Joja Corp and how Shane was initially quite rude to him, the two bonded over their mutual hatred of the company and their love of good alcohol. The two have had drinking contests before, Elliott always fails at one drink.
  • Another surprising friendship is one with Emily, due to his frequent at the bar and how he’s such a regular. It’s gotten to the point some suspect there’s a thing between the two. Shane’s not interested in her that way though.
NOW LET’S TALK ABOUT ENFJs AND INFPs

OHHHHHHH BOY

where do I even start omg my love is so massive

ENFJs omg  

so ENFJs should like pretty much rule the world like they would make perfect kings like they are so kind ?? ? ? ? and soft/gentle debaters ? ?? ?? they have such amazing perspectives and points ??? ? they are so loyal and trusting ???? I would follow them into battle ???? ENFJ tells me everything will be okay I fricking believe it

my brother is and ENFJ and he’s amazing ? ? ?? ? so sweet ? ? ? ? he’s hardly ever home he’s always meeting with his friends and having deep life adventures and conversations at night ? ? ? ? like I’m jealous  ? ? ? ? but he’s also so sweet like he gets excited over the cutest things ? ? ? like a 5 year old ? ?? it’s adorable because he’s like 21 and he’s so pumped he’ll come into my room like ‘did you see that new trailer!?’ and he’s adorable ? ? ? He also loves roller coasters omg he loves sharing things and making convincing points that you can believe in  ? ? ? ? like ENFJs are so good at making great points ? ? ? ? they have such great opinions ? ? ? they’re so open minded yet have a thesis and are confident and open minded yet fight for what they believe in at the same time ? ? ? also sometimes very hard on themselves precious babies you don’t need to be hard on yourselves I promise you’re perfect everyone loves you shhhh <333

BuT THOSE INFPs MAN THOSE INFPs

I’m an INFP so I feel a little weird talking about how much I love myself

but I also know like 40 INFPs

INFPs are hella charming what ? ? ? ?? yeah I am hella charming you better believe it *puts flower in my mouth* 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) hey cutie

INFPs are like little kittens of kindness and joy and peace but can also be like dARK LIONS OF COLORFUL SPOOKY DREAMS LIKE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS KIND OF DARK AND FUN I’m not like that I’m 1000% sunshine and cuddles and nicely timed puns but I love dark things too omg sign me up for the spooky things like pastel GOTH is so cUTE ahhh

but INFPs ? ? ? ? basically precious cinnamon rolls  ?? ? giant dorks ? ???  care very much about people ? ?? ? always trying to bring some peace   ?  ?? ? ? respect others ? ? ?? ?? love people ?  ? ? ? ? are big dreamers  ?? ? ? ? we see the world not as it is but as what it could be  ?? ????  we also don’t let you cross over our values or emotions like HEY TAKE A STEP BACK THAT’S NOT COOL and that’s kind of admirable because we won’t let people destroy what’s right  ? ?? ? go us ???? we fricking rock  ?? ? ? also amazing writers and artists holy crAP INFPs are so creative and cool

but SO KIND THEY’RE SO KIND THEY LIKE THEY POUR OUT KINDNESS EVERYWHERE AND  YOU JUST WANT TO KISS THEM

they’re little shy angels that blush a lot, but also really passionate and dorky and outgoing when they want to be ? ?? ? ? like they’re the bEST?? ?? amazing ? ? ?? INFPs may be pure imagination personified ? ? ?

a part of me is so tempted to dye my hair a fun color and chop it off again but the other part of me remembers that people always complimented my hair first when meeting/seeing me so that ingrained the idea that my worth comes from my hair into my young mind and i had a nightmare abt cutting my hair short


like my hair isn’t as long as it once was and i really want to die my hair blue or pink but also,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, imo a huge portion of my worth comes from my looks and i know that i will not look the way i imagine with fun hair so,,,

3

Name: Mara

Alternate Names: Nightmare, Alp (related), Mare, Cauchemar (French)

Mythology: European (almost all European counties have their own version of the Nightmare

Size: Shapeshifter, but have Medium and Large forms mostly

Environment: The dream world, can only be summoned out of dreams by Nocnitsa Hags

In Mythika: Horrifying parasites who feed on fear inside the dreams and nightmares of sleeping creatures, Mara are more a pest than a true dangerous killer, they make people very fatigued and exhausted as they can’t find a peaceful sleep, this makes them dangerous on their own right, as adventures must be battle-ready if they want to win against dangerous monsters. The Mara only becomes deadly if summoned out of the dream world by a Nocnitsa Hag, then they take the forms of black mares with burning manes in a multitude of bright flaming colors. In the dreamworld the Mara can appear in any form it desires, mostly taking on the victims worst nightmare. In the real world the Mara often functions as a carnivorous steed of the Nocnitsa hags.

Mara can breed with a multitude of Unicorns, the result is always a Mara, but a very different one, it will have a crystal-like unicorn horn. Winged Mara’s are also spotted.

Wiki Link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mare_(folklore)

when reality is her (and nightmares are separate)

Also on AO3

Pairing
Laura/Carmilla (Hollstein)

Rating
General Audiences (So, so fluffy)

Summary
Carmilla is getting accustomed to life with Laura.

Notes
Set after the Christmas Special. Things are calm.


Keep reading

A Flash of Color and Life - Mor’s Court of Nightmares

Series: A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas
Characters: Mor, Cassian, Azriel, Rhysand, Feyre, Amren, Keir
POV: Mor
Ship: Hints of Mor/Azriel, Feyre/Rhysand

Rating: T

Word Count: 5033
Ao3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/8321536/

Summary: Chapter 42, 43, and a little of 44 from Mor’s POV (plus bonus scene!).

Mor has always hated the Hewn City and everything associated with it. Today is no exception…

Comments: IT’S FINALLY DONE! This was requested by @feysand16 for Mor’s POV of the Court of Nightmares… & I may have gotten just a bit carried away ^^; But here it is! Mor is such  fun character to write, and I hope I did her justice. The title is a reference to Chapter 42, in which Feyre refers to Mor as “a flash of color and life in this strange, cold place.” Thank you also to @illyriantremors for always being such a kind and willing beta for my fics! I can’t thank you enough!

I am so sorry this took so long to actually write, but I hope you all like it! :)

Keep reading