also breaks my heart

Late night poems

I feel the weight of all of this
Your emotional distance
My own cravings and desires
I am hungry for you
But I can’t have you
So I stay home and sink into myself
Late nights, poems, door closed to my room
I am tired
Trying to open up
Trying to be good enough to see inside your heart
I ache when I think of you
Because you are so good
You are so true
But I don’t know if you are ready for me
I am a flood
A vast sea
I am a well, falling deep into the curves of the earth
I am always almost certain
That I am too much
And your heart is loving and gentle
But your heart is also scarred and bruised
My heart breaks when I think of your pain
But she is also cautious
She has her own breaks and cracks
And I have to protect her

I’m standing on this tightrope
Leaning, swaying
Over a great lake
Tightening every muscle
Trying not to fall

I want to place my heart into your hands
But you are not ready-
Every time you reach for me
Your hands tremble
I can see it
I can feel it

I am so afraid
I know you mean well
But is that enough?

can you believe in the middle of all of this louis had the wherewithal to ask steve to record a song with him and he managed to write something uplifting and heartwarming in dedication of his mother? that he was able to pour his love into a song that he gets to sing, and that steve is right there for him even though as far as we know they only met this year. that they managed to keep this private and process in peace. that this is how he chose to honor her and that he’s allowing us to be part of it; that he’s gotten to choose what he’s sharing, and that this is what he’s sharing with us. 

8

susan/frieda + strength

i feel like a lot of us rly Needed just hold on in our lives rn

you know what also breaks my heart? how the general public in the mcu does have this awareness that tony is mentally/emotionally unstable (we know that from the media reports) but not only is that demonized, it’s also – and arguably more prominently – sold as entertainment

the public/media straight-up fetishizes tony’s trauma, honestly, you get entertainment TV reporting on a stark-funded gala like “oh but tony stark is not coming, sources hold that he’s got PTSD and has been bed-ridden for weeks! [switches to picture of tony looking disheveled during his last press conference].” in iron man 2, the whole shtick is that tony’s too unstable and self-destructive to be iron man but oh yeah everyone goes to his birthday party and cheers as he drunkenly dons armor and destroys his own home. they run closer and try to snap pictures of his assassination attempt – and mind you, the fact that pepper and happy are the single two people that are WORRIED that tony just randomly took the wheel of a formula 1 car during a professional grand-prix just fucking BLOWS MY MIND like that is damn well near-suicidal reckless self-endangerment for absolutely no fucking apparent reason other than “you know what? i wanna do it” and people watch that like it is the most fascinating spectacle ever

tony’s in the hospital visiting his comatose friend and the SECOND he steps out there are reporters all over him and RANDOM CIVILIANS with their SMART PHONES specifically pushing him for a reaction like “when are you gonna catch this guy! [shrug] just sayin’” – and this whole scene still stands as one of the best bits from IM3, possibly the whole mcu re: the treatment of tony by the media, because that’s the one time tony’s awareness of the abuse and resentment toward it reeeeeeally shows – he’s like “oh is that what you wanted” after delivering his statement and then he CATCHES THE GUY’S PHONE AND THROWS IT AGAINST THE WALL, “BILL ME” holy shit

anyway like?? it’s so messed up?? and it’s a 616 tony thing too, especially re: the media ~darling topic of The Alcoholism. tony has to deal with his trauma in front of a merciless and fetishistic audience and that’s just…. yikes :(

2

Never gonna let you go
Giving you my heart and soul

4

Adoption/parental rights, next of kin, paternity/maternity leave, rights to see someone in the hospital, just to name a few … I know there are many more.

My heart breaks for lgbt people and families that they have to worry this way.

The maid of honor at my wedding is gay. We were talking on election night and her wife was beside herself (so was I). Knowing they’re worried not just for their fellow citizens but also for their own family (they have two boys) breaks my heart and infuriates me.

Knowing too that we could take such a big step backwards after having celebrated such large strides forward just makes it worse.

I pray Trump was just talk and he won’t follow through with his threats… But that also makes me mad because it just proves what an absolute LIAR President Tiny Hands is and it makes me fear him even more since we can’t trust anything he says.

“Every script I write, every single one, just about reduces me to tears. And I’m always saying to Sue, ‘This is it, this is the worst one, and it’s never ever been as bad as this.’

And she says, ‘You say it every time.’

And I say, ‘This time it’s real. This time it’s the worst script, I can’t finish it, it’s going to kill me.’” 

[x]


Curly dad is breaking my heart.

Also we probably should be thanking Sue Vertue even more than we do already.