also because sass

I want every one of my old lady customers who tell me to “enjoy having dyed hair while you’re young” to meet every one of my old lady customers with blue or purple streaks in their hair, or solid purple hair.

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LINDSAY AND HALSTEAD IN EVERY EPISODE || An Agent of the Machine (5x12) 

I work for Hank Voight so I can handle a little attitude, Chief.

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I have a folder labled ‘ESO Sass’ for moments like this. 


Between Abnur being a sassy piece of shit and Lyris’ rebuttals, I couldn’t resist taking a screenshot. 

I think most things Abnur says are some of the best lines in the game, but that third one makes me laugh everytime. 

5. “You can sit on my lap, if you want.” - Jacob Frye

A/N: I laughed writing the beginning of this one, not gonna lie. Hope the requester doesn’t mind that it’s modern day! Also… I meant for this to be a drabble BUT. Get me started on a modern assassin thing and throw Jacob into it… Anyway. This is a slightly crazy plot but once the ball got rolling with this one… It didn’t stop until it hit a wall. ON WITH THE STORY.

Word count: 1,097

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Imagine Obi-Wan Trying To Teach Your Padawan Class A Lesson And He’s Proud Of Your Matching Sass Levels

Originally posted by geekybasket

“The reception was a bit fuzzy, but it was received,” you remarked, and you perfectly repeated the lightsaber form he had demonstrated.

“You’re a fast learner,” he said.

“Well, I’m also young and inexperienced, like you said. I must be the perfect example of a brash, young padawan who may or may not have gone on to train the great Chosen One. Who would expect me to have nay talent?”

To your surprise, the Jedi Master chuckled.

“Is she spoken for as a padawan, Master Yoda?”

“Not, she is,” Yoda said, “Almost as sharp as you, she has become.”

“I’ll gladly teach her,” Obi-Wan offered, “if she’ll have me.”

“We’ll see how the galaxy handles two of you running around, Master Kenobi,” you smirked, standing proudly beside your best friend, Ahsoka. Someday, you would be just as great as your master.

(For Anon)

Steven, Connie, Pearl, What are you doing?

He who raises (chapter 2)

THIS GOT WAY OUT OF HAND! this is actually the scene that inspired the entire fic and i enjoyed writing it so so so much! i hope you kids like it!

chapters: 1 2 3 4

summary: the story of how Bellamy finds out his partner has a child, and of how he ends up falling for said child (and also falling for the girl).

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