I’ve had several people contact me recently asking for screening advice. I decided to write up a little thing so I don’t have to type out long messages each time. Here’s how I personally use the local review/hobbyist boards to screen clients. This is what works for me, but it’s hard to say if it’ll apply to you because things might be different in your region. My city has a really active review board culture and the boards are the main places that escorts advertise here. If there isn’t an active review board in your area, or if local escorts do most of their advertising on Eros, TER, Backpage, or another site, then most of this information probably wont be helpful to you.
If anyone thinks this is giving out too much information please let me know ASAP and I can delete/change it; I don’t want everyone to freak out on me like what’s happening in the sugar baby community right now over that Vice article. I do want to help keep new/potential escorts safe though. I’m writing this with the knowledge that client-types will probably be reading it but I don’t think any of this is secret information.
1. I encourage clients to initially contact me via private message through the boards rather than email so I can be sure that they really are that board member, because I’ve heard of situations where random creeps have claimed to be popular board members and set up appointments. When a client first contacts me I start checking their references ASAP because most girls take a while to respond (if they ever do). If I don’t recognize the names of the references I google them and/or look them up on the boards to make sure they’re real escorts with an established presence and not just random names that the client made up. I check each escort’s site/ads/profile to see if they have a method of communication that they prefer because some only want to be contacted in certain ways. I then send them a message that says something along the lines of “Dear _____, a client named _____, [board] username: _____, email: _____, phone number: _____, has provided you as a reference. Do you remember seeing him and was he okay? Thanks in advance for any information!” I include all the different names/handles/phone number/email/etc that he told me so they can most thoroughly check their own records to remember who he is. I also google the client’s email/phone number/whatever other information I have about him just to see if anything comes up, but usually nothing does.
2. I then start checking out the client’s board history. I look at their reviews especially, and check to see if the reviewed providers responded and acknowledged the reviews. These end up serving as references most of the time since so many girls don’t respond to reference checks, and this is basically the second best option. As long as the provider comments really positively, something along the lines of “Thanks so much, can’t wait to see you again!” it feels reassuring but it still makes me nervous that it might not be the whole story or her true feelings. If they have a bunch of reviews that the providers never acknowledged I get pretty suspicious. Some girls are probably just flaky and don’t bother to look up or comment on their own reviews I guess, but it could also mean that the client either didn’t actually see them (so they could be either a cop or someone else doing something sketchy), or they did but it wasn’t a good experience for the provider so she didn’t want to leave a comment. I also check to see if the client has any very recent reviews who they didn’t use as a reference, and sometimes I send a private message to those girls to ask about them because that could be suspicious. And I check out the client’s non-review posts to get an idea of what type of person they are. I’ve turned down a lot of clients because they acted like total trolls on the boards. I’m also wary of any hardcore hobbyist, like the ones who are posting on the boards all day every day and have written hundreds of super explicit reviews, because they tend to be especially entitled and rude. I personally don’t like reviews and only allowed/encouraged them for my first couple months so I could get started. I now have it in my ads that I prefer that people don’t review me, but obviously I can’t control what they do so seeing anyone who’s obviously really into writing long, detailed, pornographic reviews makes me a little nervous and I sometimes turn people down over that, especially if they’ve written unnecessarily bad/mean reviews.
3. The two boards in my city have alert/warning sections to post about bad clients and I always keep an eye on those and make sure my potential clients aren’t on there. Just recently for the first time when I was checking out a potential client I found two warnings from a couple years ago about him holding escorts down and slapping them and refusing to leave after his appointment was up. His initial message to me had been very polite and he included a few references, so I was surprised to find alerts on him. Maybe his references would say he was fine with them, but I don’t take any chances when I don’t have to so I very politely told him I would have to decline because I’d seen the warnings about him (they were on a public part of the board and he was already aware of the warnings. If you find out something bad about a client on a private/escorts only site, never tell them because they’ll just change their information). He wrote back, “Ok. Have a nice life…bitch.” So, I’m really glad I checked him out.
4. I always tell my clients either at the end of the appointment or in an email/text after they’ve left to please feel free to use me as a reference, and when I do get a reference check from anyone it’s my top priority to respond ASAP. Even though I’ve been escorting for a couple years I still feel a little unsure about how much information to include when I respond to reference checks. Most of the women who bother to respond to mine usually just say “Yes, I know him and he’s fine. Have fun!” so that’s pretty much what I do too, although I’ve occasionally added extra info like “You might want to encourage him to take a shower at the beginning of the session” or “It was impossible to get him to leave when his time was up and he overstayed by almost 30 minutes” or sometimes positive things like “He really likes red lingerie”. I wish more escorts included little helpful hints like that so I’m trying to make it happen.
5. I don’t see anyone who I can’t verify either through references or acknowledged reviews, no exceptions. I don’t do workplace verifications because I’m less concerned about cops and mainly I’m scared of violent creeps. I don’t think knowing someone’s name and where they work is very helpful if they plan to murder me. Yeah it adds some accountability and might make them a little nervous to do something bad, but it’s not enough insurance for me. So I really need to know that they’ve seen other escorts and been decent to them. So far the system has worked for me; I’ve had clients who I didn’t like very much because they were annoying or we just didn’t click, but I haven’t had any really bad or scary experiences as an escort.