alright brain i don't like you

Things I Actually Wrote in Fanfic Starters
  • "Quit your complainin', bitchsicle."
  • "Yeah, eat that-- OH MY GOD MY BOXERS ARE ON FIRE."
  • "Alright, who just threw the fucking table at my head?"
  • "WATCH WHERE YOU'RE SWINGIN', FUCKSTICK."
  • "Dude, that's like the gayest thing you've ever done."
  • "Hah! You're brain's so small even Edward Elric would look tall standing next to it!"
  • "Did you just summon the Fullmetal Alchemist via short joke?"
  • "Oh hey, look. There's a hole in the wall."
  • "I'll tell you something... Sake is the shit."
  • "I could commit homicide with this."
  • "AND USE PROTECTION."
  • "Technically, I'm satan."
  • "No way I died before he did!"
  • "He didn't even listen to Satan."
  • "Boys, boys... Don't get your thongs in a bunch, alright?"
  • "Right, it says here in my script I'm supposed to help you with your female dilemmas."
  • "Quit ogling the youths, you creep."
  • "How drunk is drunk enough?"
  • "The classic tale of beauty, the beast, and all of his piercings."
  • "It's noon, you bastard!"
  • "I swore I saw the wind blow through his hair carrying cherry blossom petals. I swear it."
  • "But that's my over-used, over-exaggerated trope!"
  • "What smells like axe body spray mixed with... Is that cherry blossom?"
  • Me: Steps away from the computer to think about a scene in the fic I'm writing
  • My brain: Hey! I totally just thought of this really cool idea for a series.
  • Me: NOOOOO! I'm in the middle of a series right now! I can't have another idea for a series!
  • My brain: Yes you can! I thought of it just now!
  • Me: Nooooo! I have like four series ideas already in my idea pile! I don't need another!
  • My brain: but-
  • Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • My brain: Alright dude, but it's got like a super cool twiiiiist...
  • Me: Shoots my brain a dry 'fuck you' look
  • Also me: ::sighs:: lemme write this down
DIGIMON CHARCTERS AS SPONGEBOB QUOTES: ADVENTURE EDITION
  • Taichi: There's an old saying, lad. What doesn't kill ya...usually succeeds on the second attempt.
  • Agumon: I sense no danger here. How could they be dangerous? They’re covered in free cheese!
  • Yamato: Shut your mouth, you mediocre clarinet player.
  • Gabumon: Excuse me, sir, but you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face.
  • Sora: If I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to carelessness of a friend… well, that would just be alright.
  • Piyomon: I had four biscuits and then I ate one. Then I only had three!
  • Koushiro: You don't pay me. You don't even exist. We're just a clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought.
  • Tentomon: That's it, mister! You just lost your brain privileges!
  • Mimi: See, no one says ‘cool’ anymore. That’s such an old person thing. Now we say ‘coral’, as in ‘That nose job is so coral'.
  • Palmon: Squidward, you’re steaming. You’re like a steamed vegetable, only smarter.
  • Jyou: No, Gary, I don't get colds. I get the suds.
  • Gomamon: Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt? Now he's a bronzefish!
  • Takeru: Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.
  • Patamon: It’s not just any boulder… *sniffles* It’s a rock!
  • Hikari: The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.
  • Tailmon: Oh, these pies aren’t homemade. They were made in a factory. A bomb factory. They’re bombs.
Every Time
  • Me: Alright, homework's done, studied, made my lunch! Time for a good night's rest so tomorrow will be a good day!Brain: Stay up till 3 am crying over fictional characters.
  • Me: ...what? No!
  • Brain: You gotta.
  • Me: Hoe don't do it...
  • Me: *Does it*
  • Me: ...
  • Me: Well that's never gonna happen again...
  • Brain: Hey look at -
  • Me: aHHHHH
Blame

Sensei Wu: So who broke my teapot? I’m not mad I just want to know.

Zane: I did.. I broke it.

Sensei Wu: No, no you didn’t, Kai?

Kai: WHAT?! I DID’NT BRAKE IT!

Cole: Weird, how did you know it was broken?

Kai: Because genius, it sitting right in front of us and it’s broken

Jay: Suspicious.

Kai: NO ITS NOT! 

Lloyd: if it matters…probably not, Jay was the last one to use it.

Jay: Lair! I don't even drink that stuff.

Cole ; oh really Zaptrap? then what were you doing there earlier?

Jay: I was using the hot water to heat towels for training, we needed them.

Kai:I saw Cole walking around with like he had something to hide.

Cole: What are you talking about Hot head?

Jay: Then what was that look on your face for then, bolder brain?

Cole: That's just my face.

Zane: Alright, let’s not fight… I broke it, let me pay for it.

Sensei Wu: No, Who broke it.

Cole: ( whispering) Nya has been awfully quiet.

Nya: REALLY?

Cole: Yeah really.

Nya: Lloyd is quit too.

Lloyd: I haven't been here all day!

Jay: Sure you weren’t.

Sensei Wu: ( In his mind) I broke it, I burned my mouth so I punched it. I predict that within the hour they will be at each other’s throats with ninja suits on and with murder on their minds. Good. it was starting to get a little chummy around here. 

susanswierdblog  asked:

"No no no no no!! |No, please don't leave me...|" [I guess, why not]

Send  “No, please don’t leave me…”  for my muse’s reaction to dying in your muse’s arms

Red started coughing up blood. There was no doubt very little time for him. “You should’ve know that this was going to happen if we went to war with all of these species, we’d end up like this. The Control Brains only wanted everything to spiral into chaos.” Red closed his eyes and said with a weak breath. “Make sure that Purple ends up alright.” Red’s body finally collapsed.

Writing Proccess
  • My Brain: Alright, got some free time. You're gonna work on your fanfic.
  • Me: Well yeah, but look at their fanfic...
  • My brain: Cool, but you're almost done, you just need-
  • Me: Ooo and this fanart
  • My Brain: Okay but-
  • Me: I haven't been on this ship's tag in like 6 hours, maybe I should
  • My Brain: B-
  • Me: For inspiration purposes of course.
  • ***next day***
  • Me: God why don't I get anything done?
  • Skulduggery: Valkyrie, you're going to be alright.
  • Valkyrie: [waking up from being Darquesse] You know that? Is that what you know? I've got...I've got to do something.
  • Skulduggery: You need to recover, that's going to take time.
  • Valkyrie: You don't understand. Have you ever had someone take your brain and play? Take you out and stuff something else in? You know what it's like to lose control?
  • Skulduggery: You know that I do.
  • Valkyrie: Why am I back? How'd you get her out?
  • Skulduggery: Cognitive re-calibration. I hit you really hard in the head.
  • Valkyrie: Thanks.
  • FRANKLIN: Clowns to the left of me. More fucking clowns to the right.
  • Remind me again why I agreed to roll with you two fools?
  • TREVOR: Clowns? Where's the fucking clown?
  • FRANKLIN: I mean, like, you crazy motherfuckers.
  • TREVOR: Oh God, okay. I thought there was a clown in here.
  • LAMAR: The dude's scared of clowns. Ha. I knew he was soft.
  • TREVOR: Hey! We're all soft
  • on the inside, bro. You want to feel your guts come out your asshole, just let me know.
  • LAMAR: Well, like, if you, like, want to see your brain come out your motherfucking ear, then go into your motherfucking mouth,
  • then come out your asshole, and then, like, go on the ground and shit where I can piss on it, you got my digits.
  • TREVOR: That didn't come off threatening, so much as silly, my friend.
  • FRANKLIN: He's right, dog.
  • LAMAR: I don't need them stupid ass threats to intimidate people. My killer Apache eyes do that for me.
  • FRANKLIN: Of course they do, man. Look, leave it there. Alright?

anonymous asked:

I almost use my brain regularly (hehe) but I'm new at this fandom and I don't know what's going on :$

That’s alright love haha, didn’t mean to offend you or anyone who doesn’t see a pattern (yet). What we’ve seen ever since the hiatus started is that the appearances of the boys seem to be connected. There are times when Louis is spotted daily and other times where he’s not being seen for days or even weeks. During those times we get pap pics and social media actions from one (or more) of the other boys. It happens all the times but this week is like the perfect example. Before Louis went to the uk (and then Ibiza and then uk again) a couple weeks ago he was spotted on the daily, he went to Starbucks and met stalkers almost every single day. Now he’s back in LA for like 4 (or 5? 6?) days and we didn’t get a single pic of him. But funnily enough we suddenly got pap pics of Niall every single day this week. And even Liam posts random stuff about flip flops (?!) out of nowhere. While Harry and Louis are both completely Mia. That might not look suspicious if it was the first time but we’ve seen this very same pattern for months now so make of that what you want 😉

ask-dipper-pines-stuff  asked:

"H-Happy Valentines day Mordy." Dipper called out from their bedroom. There, laying in a bed of rose pedals and candles around their room was a naked Dipper, draped seductively in red sheets that intertwined with his legs and dropped over his arms. "I-I hope this is an alright gift? I could take it back if you don't like it." Dipper joked sheepishly, the sheets around his hips dipping slightly, revealing Dipper's happy trail.

Mordecai perked as he heard his husband’s voice coming from their room, happily walking over. He opened his mouth only to freeze, eyes widening at the sight before him. Holy… All the blood from his brain traveled South and he suddenly felt dizzy.

The cerulean male shook his head to collect himself before he smirk and walked closer, striding closer. “Alright? More like best gift ever~ I think I might want two~” He purred back, slipping off his shoes before he began crawling onto the bed, his eyes looking the brunette over and over again with the same look he gave chocolate. “Happy Valentines, my sexy treat~”