alright I'm tired

Teach Me How to Be Quiet


genre: smut, fluff?, tiny bit of angst but it’s not a lot

warnings: teacher x teacher, blowjobs, deepthroating, public!kink, hs!au, phil not being good at all at keeping his composure

words: 1568

read on ao3!!!

a/n: so like i rly liked this prompt so i did it ehehe. i’m tired as heck, but hopefully if things go right i should be done with most hw tomorrow and i should have tgtbatd updated for yall on thursday :) thanks for being patient and also thank you for helping me reach my next hundred!!! enjoy <3333

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“What did you want to talk about, Todoroki-kun?”

Because when Todoroki called Midoriya to talk to him privately, I was really hoping for this. (*/ω\) 。・゚・ ♡

DO NOT repost or remove the credit to my edit please.

“You see? It’s just as I told you. While you toiled away trying to find your dear friend, he quite simply replaced you with some new companions. Evidently, now he values them far more than he does you. You’re better off without that wretched boy. Now, think no more of him, and come with me. I’ll help you find what you’re searching for…”

Touch, pt. 2

the follow-up to [this] because there was a lot of things I wanted to do and not enough space

kind of longer and messier but whateverrrr

The first couple of weeks are an adjustment in a lot of ways. 

Hanzo’s not accustomed to something as seemingly mundane as a relationship. To say that he is stifled would be exaggerating, as McCree is anything but. However, he is not accustomed to having someone around who touches him every time they meet, kisses him when the time allows for it, hovers beside him as much as decency will allow. 

Hanzo loves it. He hates that he does, that he is so dependent now on McCree’s touch, but he does nonetheless.

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Happy 34th Birthday, Ninomiya Kazunari! ♥

everyone involves in the writing of Superman #28 needs to be fired

as in. really needs to be fired. because they have no ideas how much their words fucking hurt

they can have their own shitty political opinion as long as they keep it to themselves, not forcing it down the throat of Clark fucking Kent and Lois bleeding Lane.

????? you said you never understood how the history books and popular culture have glossed over it? YOU DARE to say that and then GLOSS OVER the fact that those 58 000 Americans had a hand in killing roughly 2 million Vietnamese in 20 years? TELL THE WHOLE GODDAMN STORY OR DON’T. 

your fucking army came here and killed my people, poison them with Agent Orange and tons of other poison to the point some land is forever not safe to live on anymore and CHILDREN OF THIRD GENERATION STILL SUFFER BIRTH DEFECTS and you expect me to feel anything but disgust at this…thing?

your government, your chemical companies never admit their war crimes and now wow congrats! you help perpetuating the gross whitewash of your army’s involvement in Vietnam in popular media!! do you feel any shame when you let Superman say these words? how low do you even think of Superman?

and when i thought they would finally leave me alone….they don’t! like wow!!! Lois’s uncle is now suddenly a Vietnam war veteran!!! now she, after a decades of always opposing her father’s military career, even stated clearly when he died that her father didn’t deserve any flowers nor sympathy (because he committed genocide against 100 000 Kryptonians, much like what the US did in Vietnam but x20), suddenly honour her family’s military past!! 

my mind = blown.

I’m tired and hurt and can y'all keep your damn political propaganda forever away from my favs? 

previous writers spent years portraying Superman as a citizen of the world, as someone who always stay neutral over any kind of conflict yet will always find a way to help people in need and now the whole Rebirth Superman team thinks it’s fun to dump all that down the ocean or sth? 

keep your damn “Rebirth”, i'lll keep this one

Look, if my romance and sex repulsed ass can respect your decision to ship people, can you please return the favor and let me see everyone as friends??

*King Alistair arriving 10 minutes late to a very important meeting with Ferelden’s nobles*

Nobles: “Your Majesty, is everything alright?”

Alistair: “Huh? Oh yeah, Barkspawn was just sleeping with his head in my lap.”

Nobles: …..

Nobles: *all start nodding slowly* “Ah yes, the king upholds our most sacred law. You can’t move when a dog is sleeping on you, it’s the most important law.”

I’m not sorry, it’s late and this is one of the funniest things I have ever thought of


Rhaegar Targaryen

or an AU where piercings and ear stretching is a tradition within the Targaryen dynasty lol 

rosiadiaz  asked:

pARTNERS IN CRIME AU PLS THE IRONY IM (peraltiago obviously)

This is for you and also @sergeant-santiago!! Feel free to send more of these!

11. partners-in-crime AU

“Faster, Peralta,” Amy hisses through clenched teeth. She can see the dark head bobbing through the crowd across the street, growing closer every second that her idiotic partner spends wedging the slim jim back and forth in the door. (“Like dancing,” he once told her, that idiotic grin plastered across his face as he wiggles his ass for her benefit. She had to clench every muscle in her body to keep from laughing out loud and blowing their cover.)

“I’m going as fast as I can, Santiago! You can’t rush art!”

“Why did I let you plan this again? We always get caught when you plan!”

“I have no idea why you let me plan anything!” Jake retorts happily at her over the top of the car. “We both know you’re the mastermind – you’re just using me for my beautiful body!”

“Jake.” Amy gives him her best high-school-English-teacher look, and for a second, he almost looks cowed. It doesn’t last, though. It never does.

“Okay, fine, you’re just using me for my beautiful hands. Better?”

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I feel like we’re in the ‘wildest imagination’ theoretical timeline. 

Look at all the shit going down - cartoon villain ‘president’ of the United States who spends more time embarrassing himself on Twitter than attempting to run the country, fucking Nazis have become so comfortable with being fucking Nazis that they think they can have fucking Nazi marches in the fuckin streets without protecting their identities (and then are shocked and surprised that consequences exist). We’ve got fukin’ super storms: “yeah, it’s a category 5, but its over 10 times bigger than a category 5 from 20 years ago. it’s bigger than a state. Puerto Rico’s buildings are just kinda gone.”. Half the country was on fire at the same time this was going down. People are literally fighting over a sauce they could buy at walmart because of a cartoon whose message they were incapable of actually receiving but believed they received. the young adults and youth are obsessed with oblivion and laughing at the futility of existence because the concept of having a future is ridiculous


Did you all wake up with renewed strength and energy, and the undying will to tear the Earth in half by sheer force of awesomeness alone? Good! Of course you do. I expected no less. 

I can feel the energy waves of your beauty and talent all the way from here, you sure are a powerhouse of all things good, baby! LOOK AT YOU. SO GOOD SO SEXY. STRUCK A POSE. FUCK YEAH. THAT WAS AN AMAZING POSE. MY PANTS ARE GONE.