already besotted

imgur.com
Recently found this on Facebook and it sums up my hate for people who breed these dogs perfectly.
Imgur: The most awesome images on the Internet.
By Imgur

This is AMAZING!

For those who can’t go to the link, the following is what it says:

FYI, none of this is mine. It was posted by Bilton veterinary centre, the same one as in the picture. All credit goes to them but I felt it was important to get word out about some of the breeds of dogs that are riddled with health problems. If you own a pug that’s perfectly healthy that’s cool, but it’s doesn’t change the fact that an alarming number of short nosed (almost no nosed at this point) dogs have extreme difficulty with tasks like breathing and blinking.

 "So I am going to have a rant now and I apologise in advance if this upsets anyone, but here goes.

   Last week, I managed to reduce a lovely family to floods of tears.  They had brought their new dog in to come and see me.  There was a young lady, her husband and their two children of about 8 or 9 years old and they were all already absolutely besotted with their new pet - their first dog, and they had been planning it for several years.

   The dog was a 5-month-old French Bulldog that they had picked up from a breeder about 4 weeks previously.  They were concerned that their new dog may have “a chill” as the dog had sore runny eyes,  difficulty in eating and kept making a choking sound.  They had also noticed the dog had a “funny smell” about him. As I examined the dog it became quickly apparent what was occurring and my heart sank.

  This dog was yet another increasingly popular “short-nosed” breed that was suffering horribly from a myriad of problems - all related to its poor breeding and its unfortunate anatomy. After the examination, I found that this dog had: 

 - Eyeballs too big for its eye sockets. So much so, that when he blinked, the eyelids didn’t fully cover the eyeballs.  (Imagine going out on a windy day and not being able to blink!) This had resulted in deep painful ulcers forming on both eyes that in the short term would require intensive treatment and could feasibly result in the rupture of one or both eyeballs. 

  - The bones forming the front of his face (the maxilla) were so squashed by virtue of this style of this breed (called the brachycephalics), that the soft-tissue structures of the throat are compressed and forced backwards -  obstructing his larynx.  Amongst other things, his soft palate was so elongated (relative to his skull) that it kept getting trapped over his wind-pipe.

 -His nostrils were completely occluded, so absolutely no airflow was possible through his nose.  All of his breathing had to take place through his open mouth.  This meant that whilst he was eating/sleeping he was going through bouts of asphyxiation and so would have to spit the food out or wake up and open his mouth - purely so he would be able to breathe.  This explained the “choking” sound that there were hearing all the time.  He could just manage to breathe with his mouth open, but this then exacerbated the problems with his soft palate.

 - The skin fold over the top of the nose (caused by the squashed face involuting the skin) had caused a crevice of around 2-3 cms deep, where the skin was rubbing against its self.  In this area, the skin was ulcerated and was full of liquid pus.  It was this that the owners were smelling.  This was incredibly painful for the animal and he cried every time I tried to clean it.

 -The skin around his feet, ears, armpits and groin was red raw and inflamed.   He clearly was very itchy and had been licking at these areas repeatedly - which had, in turn, made them more sore and painful.  This is very typical of a condition called “atopy” which is very common in many breeds, particularly the Bulldogs (French and English). So at this point, the shocked owners asked what needed to be done to sort him out.

  So I had to explain that he would need: 

 - Bilateral eyelid shortening surgery that would allow the dog to blink properly and prevent further ulcers from forming.  As well as long-term medication to improve the quality of his tears.

 - Complex soft tissue surgery of the back of the throat to, (amongst other things) shorten his soft palate to facilitate his breathing.

 - He would need both of his nostrils opening up so as to allow adequate air flow to be possible to allow him to breathe/exercise/eat/sleep properly.

 -He would need a “face-lift” to remove a large amount of excess skin on the front of his face, to try and open up the fold that was causing so much infection and pain.

 -He may need allergy testing, food trials, anti-inflammatories etc to try and manage the atopic skin disease that he has. 

 *He needs all of this fairly urgently.  

 *He can’t have all of this done at once and so will require several anaesthetics and complex procedures to be done over a period of time.   

*He is only 5 months old. 

*He needs all of this doing - just so that he can live a vaguely normal life.   

*HE IS SUFFERING. 

 Also - he is not insured.  It transpired that the new owners looked into insurance but the premium was so high for this breed, that they felt they couldn’t afford it.  To move forward, he would have to go to a specialist veterinary unit (sadly recently set up to deal with the increasing number of very poorly brachycephalic dogs with extreme conformational issues) and this treatment could cost upwards of £8,000 to correct.

 Once I had discussed all this with the owners - they were understandably distraught.  They had hoped for a “cute” and “cuddly” family pet that they had seen examples of spread throughout popular media.  They had no idea that these problems even existed.  Instead, they now have a much-loved dog that is miserable, has a long journey ahead of it and one that they cannot afford to have fixed.

 The family left the room in floods of tears, armed with medication that would temporarily alleviate some of the symptoms and try to make the poor little dog more comfortable.  From what I have later found out, this dog has gone to a rescue centre to be rehomed.  It may have moved away, but its problems most certainly will not have done.

 Pugs, Frenchies, English Bulldogs and Shar-Peis are amongst the breeds which are increasingly being abandoned in vast numbers as people cannot cope with their ongoing problems, illnesses and costs.  It upsets us all hugely when we see how many of the problems frequently associated with these breeds are now classed as “normal”. I will commonly hear “Oh it is normal for this breed to struggle with A, B or C”. NO IT ISN’T NORMAL!

 These trendy flat-faced breeds are some of the most expensive puppies to currently buy.  There is serious money for people who sell a litter of these puppies and so the incentive to breed is VERY high.  It must be said that there are responsible breeders who are trying to “back-breed” these types of dogs to have longer noses, smaller eyes, more open nostrils etc and try to reduce the incidence of these conditions, and these people should be applauded.  However, puppy farms and irresponsible owners are rife, and these “breeders” don’t seem to care a jot about the long-term prognosis and what the future holds for “their” breed. 

 It is also worth noting that many of these breeds are unable to give birth naturally now too (due to the shape of the puppy’s skulls) and so the mothers often go through multiple caesareans… 

 PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOP AND THINK before you buy.  Come and talk to US about the breeds that you are interested in - and we shall give you the whole picture.

 I am completely exhausted and totally demoralised seeing these type of problems on a daily basis.  There are enough horrible illnesses, diseases and potential accidents out there without being destined to be unwell before you are even born.

   Whilst people are still buying these dogs, people will still breed them and the problem will never go away.“

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATSUKI YUURI!!!

~ November 29, 2017 ~

YOI Future!Verse ABO AU Style - feat. Yuuri with Yurio & Shura

For Best Boy’s birthday, attempting to do a countdown-like thing with Yuuri being happy with his family <3

Other posts in this set:

Yuuri with Phichit & Arisa 🎉 Yuuri with Victor & Yasha 🎉

Yuuri with Minami & Yuuji 🎉 Yuuri with Chris & Noé 🎉

Yuuri with Otabek & Saya 🎉

~~

IF YOU ARE NEW TO THIS AU: It’s a Yuri!!! on Ice AU, Yuuri-centric with end-game polyamory in an ABO setting, Yuuri gets married to six mates and they have OC kids.

BASICS and timeline of this AU

OTHER POSTS (comics + illustrations) in the Future!Verse ABO section of my YOI Masterpost.

~~

Please keep ship bashing out of the comments/tags. Don’t like, just skip <3 Thank you.

~~

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, EDIT, TRANSLATE, OR OTHERWISE USE MY ART. More detailed rules available on my Rules & FAQ Post.

“Though founded on pragmatism, Henry and Elizabeth’s marriage had nevertheless blossomed throughout the uncertainty and upheaval of the previous eighteen years. This was a marriage of ‘faithful love’, of mutual attraction, affection and respect, from which the king seems to have drawn great strength ” Thomas Penn, The Winter King

Thanks @harritudur for the screencap from THC

Neighbours - Tommy Shelby

Could you do an imagine with Tommy teaching his little boy about horses, when they see you getting thrown off of one, and take you back to the house to help you. 

The Accident 

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five |  Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten | Part Eleven | Part Twelve | Part Thirteen | Part Fourteen Part FifteenPart Sixteen | Part Seventeen (the first bit) Part Seventeen (the second bit)Part EighteenPart NineteenPart TwentyPart Twenty-One Part Twenty-Two | Part Twenty-Three (The Final Chapter) | 


Tomorrow Charlie would turn six years old and the entire Shelby family would descend on their home to celebrate, and as such Tommy had decided that today would be a day spent with just him and his son, a morning of eating and playing whatever Charlie wanted, and an afternoon spent with the horses. That’s where they were now, brushing Grace’s Secret and mucking out her stable with Tommy explaining to Charlie the finer details of horse behaviour, the little twitches to watch out for to give an insight in their minds, as always Charlie was enraptured, already besotted with the creatures he’d grown up with.

That’s when they heard it, the telltale neigh and scream of a rider being thrown from their horse.


The new mare my father has brought is, for lack of a better word, a complete fucker. Completely unbroken, stubborn and flighty, it’s become my mission to train her into something acceptable, and after months of careful exercises and gruellingly long days with her - spurred on by a taunting remark from the stable hand - I’m finally going to attempt to ride her.

As soon as I mount her and she pulls viciously above the bit, I know that it’s a mistake, that she’s still not ready, but we’re both kitted out and I’ll be damned if a horse gets the better of me.

After numerous battles for control, we seem to have come to a compromise whereby she goes as fast or as slow as she bloody well chooses and I control our direction, for the most part. We had a slight wobble by the stream and ended up on Thomas Shelby’s land, and, although I know he won’t particularly mind, I make a note to buy him some posh whiskey to make up for the rose bush this bloody mare destroyed.

It feels as though I’ve managed to gain control, finally one-upping the creature, but as soon as she catches a glimpse of the house and the wide open plains, she decides she’s had enough of being ridden and bucks me from her. It’s my own foolish mistake to not have expected it, but I fail to catch the signs and she manages to throw me clean from her back. I land awkwardly on my ankle and know immediately from experience that, at the very least, it’s sprained.

I know I should get back on my feet, regain what control I can of the horse before she bolts, but I can’t seem to motivate myself, the hope that she’ll run off and I’ll never have to see her again too overwhelming to fight through the pain of standing. So instead I lie back in the grass and admire the clear blue sky overhead.

That is until Tommy’s lad pops into my field of vision and taps on my forehead.

“Are you dead?” he asks, his brows knitted in genuine concern.

“No, not dead sweetheart. Have you seen my horse?”

“It’s runnin’ round. My daddy’s trying to catch it-”

“But she’s having none of it,” Tommy interrupts.

“Does she look all smug?”

“I- well yeah she does actually.”

“Fu-laming creature. I’m going to have her melted down for glue, bloody-”

I catch Charlie’s face drop and stop myself.

Tommy pops a cigarette in his mouth and gestures to my foot which I’m resting at a jaunty angle, the only way I’m remotely comfortable.

“You done your leg in?” he asks.

“My ankle I think. I don’t suppose I can trouble you to make a phone call, get a car sent round from next door?”

“Let’s get you cleaned up first and I’ll take you back myself,” Tommy offers.

I should say no, but I can’t resist his mesmerising gaze and slight smirk, so when he scoops me off the floor, bridal style, I don’t protest.

“We’ve got cake left over from breakfast,” Charlie adds with a broad smile, running slightly at Tommy’s side to keep up with us.

“Cake for breakfast? My goodness!”

“It’s only because it’s his birthday tomorrow, he does normally have an appropriate breakfast I promise,” Tommy explains, keeping his eyes forward.

“No it’s not that, I was just thinking how my father would never treat me to cake for breakfast, you are a lucky boy Charlie. How old will you be tomorrow?”

“Six,” Charlie replies, swinging his arms and swelling his chest.

“Six! Good grief I remember when you first moved in, tiniest little baby I’d seen and look at you now, you’ll be as big as your dad soon!”

He cheeks flush a little pink and Tommy gives him a little wink.

“You seem to be dealing with a broken ankle well,” he says, still balancing the cigarette in the corner of his mouth.

“It’s just a sprain I think, and this is the, ooh… Got to be the sixth time it’s happened, I barely feel it anymore. I’m surprised I can still walk to be honest.”

Tommy nods, logging that nugget of information for future reference and kicks open the front door.

“Charlie, run get the nurse, we’ll be in the drawing room.”

Tommy lays me gently on the couch and sits in the chair opposite.

“I really appreciate this Mr Shel-”

“Tommy,” he interrupts, blowing out the smoke from his cigarette slow and languid, so that I can’t seem to tear my gaze from his lips.

“I really appreciate this Tommy.”

“Couldn’t expect me to leave you laying in the grass. Your mare headed to the stables by the looks of it, someone will grab her I’m sure.”

“Shame…” I mumble, waving away the cigarette Tommys offered me.

“You don’t like the horse?”

“We’re too similar, both too stubborn for our own good.”

There’s a moment where our eyes connect and for a second Tommy smiles.

“Nurse is coming,” Charlie announces, plopping himself on the floor between me and Tommy, breaking whatever connection we’d just established. “Are you coming to my birthday party tomorrow?”

Tommy splutters a little, but plays it off with a swipe of his finger across his lips.

“I don’t think I’m invited Charlie,” I reply.

“You are, I said so. Are you going to bring me present?” Charlie asks with a cheeky smile.

“Charles!” Tommy scolds.

“I can’t very well turn up to a birthday party without a present now can I Charlie? I best get the driver to take me into town sharpish.”

“Let the nurse see you first, I’ll go find her,” Tommy says, pushing my shoulder so I have to lie back on the couch. “You don’t have to get him a present,” he whispers in my ear, “but it would be nice if you could come, been looking for an excuse to get you over here for ages.”

Teacher

It wasn’t too often Tommy and Finn spent time together, the older Shelby busy working virtually every waking moment. So as the pair strolled along the street, heading to The Garrison after a day’s work, both were enjoying each other’s company. Finn was waffling about some fight him and his friends got into, exaggerating the facts to impress his big brother. Secretly Tommy was glad to talk about something other than business. He relaxed and even laughed along as Finn acted out dramatised punches.

The pair rounded a corner and stumbled straight into a young woman. You jumped back immediately, offering profuse apologies until you caught sight of Finn.

“Finn Shelby, oh my god,” a wide smile spread across your face.

“Miss (Y/L/N)!” Finn beamed.

“Been a while since I’ve seen you, ay? God you must be, what, sixteen?”

“Seventeen, yeah, been a few years.”

“Wow, and this must be-“

“Tommy, Finn’s brother,” the older Shelby blurted.

Immediately Tommy cringed at how enthusiastically he’d thrust a hand forward for you to shake. He couldn’t help it, he was completely taken aback by you. It was rare for a person to truly stun Tommy Shelby but your beauty had derailed him. As you spoke with Finn he’d stared at you, willing you to look his way but also thankful for your distraction as it gave him a chance to gawk at you.

“Ah yes, Finn would always talk about you,” the boy blushed at your words, “I’m (Y/N), his old teacher.”

Your words came out casual but inside you were freaking out. Not only were you in conversation with the biggest gangster in Birmingham but also the prettiest man you’d ever seen. It took a lot of effort to tear your vision away from his cerulean eyes and sharply structured face. But staring at a man who was known for murder probably wasn’t the best idea.

“I can’t believe we haven’t met before,” Tommy mused.

Beside him Finn burst out laughing, “When did you ever come to my school, Tom?”

You couldn’t help but smirk a little and Tommy suddenly felt uncharacteristically embarrassed.

“Well I, um, things were very busy, you know.”

Finn wasn’t sure who this was and what they’d done with his brother. Tommy Shelby never stuttered or stumbled, yet here he was, totally flustered.

“Oh of course,” you rushed in reply, not wanting to offend such a powerful man.

That’s when the situation clicked in Finn’s head, of course the only thing that could shake his brother would be a girl. He held back a smirk as Tommy ogled you far less subtly than he intended.

Nobody spoke for a moment until Finn broke the short silence, “It was really nice seeing you, Miss.”

“Right, yes of course,” you tore your eyes away from Tommy’s, “You too Finn, and you Mr Shelby.”

Unsure of the right response Tommy simply nodded with a smile.

You hurried off past the boys, leaving them to continue their walk to the Garrison. Once you were out of earshot Finn doubled over with laughter.

“Tommy your face, can’t believe you fancy my teacher,” he wheezed out.

“You can shut the fuck up,” Tommy shoved Finn and stormed forward, the younger Shelby trailing behind in hysterics.



Tommy wasn’t stalking you, definitely not. He was simply paying a visit to thank you for taking care of his little brother. Even if it was six years ago…fuck. When the youngest Shelby had mentioned seeing you, Polly had started enthusing about how great you were and how much you’d helped Finn. The next day Tommy found himself heading for the school, unusually without a plan.

It seemed like a brilliant idea, it gave him a chance to see you again. Yet when he entered the classroom with your name on the door he began to panic. You looked up at him, visibly shocked, and he felt himself clam up, realising how odd this was.

“Hi, um, it’s me, Tommy, Finn Shelby’s brother.”

“Yes, yes I know,” as if you were going to forget, what you didn’t understand was why he was here.

“So my aunt was telling me how great you were with Finn and I- Well I felt bad for never being involved, I guess, so I wanted to come thank you.”

It was a pretty transparent excuse, and didn’t make much sense, but you found yourself smiling appeasingly.

“No need, Mr Shelby, was just doing my job.”

“Please, call me Tommy.”

“Right, Tommy,” you took a guilty pleasure in saying his name.

“I was just wondering, would you like to go for a drink?”

“I-“

“As a thank you, of course,” he added unconvincingly.

“Well I, I have classes now.”

“Yes, no, of course, don’t worry.”

“But I’m free tonight.”

Tommy failed at resisting the smile spreading across his face.

“Tonight, right, how about The Garrison, seven o’clock?”

“Sounds good.”

“I’ll see you tonight then,” he abruptly turned and walked out the door, leaving you almost squealing.



“No it was adorable! The way he spoke about you, thought the bloody world of all three of you.”

You’d been at the Garrison for an hour, the alcohol had definitely helped the flow of conversation. It was instantly apparent you two had great chemistry, talking was effortless. Tommy had regained his usual confident charm and was doing a brilliant job of seducing you. Although you were doing an equally successful job of enticing him - it felt juvenile but he was already besotted.

“That’s our Finn for you, finds the good in everyone.”

“He used to tell me things he definitely shouldn’t have, was just so proud of you I don’t think he realised.”

“So you know what we do then?” the discussion was inevitable.

“I have a pretty good idea.”

“And yet you’re sat here with me.”

“I don’t think it’s fair to judge you based on rumours, everything I’ve seen of you I like.”

Your cheeks heated up as you realised the whiskey was making you a bit more honest than you wanted.

“Is that so?” Tommy was smirking, internally thrilled at the comment.

You grasped for a witty answer but failed to find one.

“Well for the record, I quite like you, too.”

You both gazed, slightly drunkenly, at each other, involuntary smiles on your faces.

“I should get going before it gets too dark,” you suddenly announced.

“I’ll walk you home.”

As you walked you kept talking, sharing stories and opinions. From the impression you got from the people of Birmingham, you hadn’t expected Tommy to laugh so much. He chuckled a lot and you couldn’t help but hope that was something reserved for few people.

“This is me,” you said as you reached your small home.

Tommy followed you right to your door, you began looking for your keys when a hand came to rest on your cheek. You froze, eyes raising to meet Tommy’s.

“I had a really nice time tonight,” his husky voice weakened your knees.

“Me too,” you were suddenly a lot quieter, hyper-aware of your physical closeness.

“I’d like to see you again.”

You mutely nodded in response and looked straight forward, your height meaning you were staring directly at his lips. You watched as they quirked into a smile and felt his other hand lay on your waist.

Suddenly lips met yours, the warmth contrasting the cool evening air. The touch wasn’t forceful, but enough to push your head back. Once you’d regained composure you pushed back, lips pressed tightly to his. The taste of whiskey was strong, the remnants on his lips combining with those on your own. After what was really seconds but felt like minutes, your mouths separated. Your faces stayed close and both your lips drew into small smiles.

“I’ve never been so grateful for my little brother.”

“Shut up,” you laughed, silencing him with another kiss, the second of many.


Here’s some fanfic to distract you from the crippling fear of what’s going to happen in the last episode (gif by sikanapanele)

readtravelcoffee  asked:

ok so i followed you because you ship garcy / love timeless and now i see all this stuff about these australians (??) from the 20s (???) who have ridiculous sex eyes at each other and there was this gifset of them fixing scarves/ties for each other and i was like WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE WITH THE UNRESOLVED SEXUAL TENSION so yeah who is phryne and why is jack (???) so in love with her help i'm lost haha

AFLKSDJL Oh I’m so sorry hun I really should come with a warning. My attention span has never risen above a -2. So! To answer your question, let me present the woman, the myth, the legend:

the honorable Miss Phryne Fisher. 

now, you might be saying: wait, she doesn’t have long hair in the 50 thousand other pictures you’ve posted of her.’ and you’d be right! in this particular case she is wearing one of her many wigs as part of one of her many, many disguises (oh so many. and that’s not even beginning to cover the overdramatic sartorial levels she gets up to on a daily basis, because yes, she is exactly that extra all the time)

If my 50 thousand posts have somehow not made you so annoyed that you never want to see this show again in your life, then I don’t want to say too too much because it really is a delight and I got to experience it knowing almost nothing the first time, which I highly recommend. But I will say that Phryne Fisher is a well-to-do Australian babe who has been known to dabble in solving murders and kicking ass every now and then.

And Jack (yes, bang on with the names) Robinson is absolutely ass over teakettle for Phryne because, well, he has eyes. But also because he knows that she is absolutely brilliant, almost disgustingly charming, sass personified, and determined to a fault, while also being amazingly intuitive, nurturing, endlessly supportive and incredibly strong.
and because Jack himself is the greatest man ever but that is another rambling post entirely and you asked about Phryne this time around, so….

It also probably doesn’t hurt that they get to the point where they look at each other like this:

but she also still makes him look at her like this:

So…..basically, if you like sexual tension, and dynamic and compelling female characters, and also gorgeous, gorgeous scenery and people and clothing and feather fans, then I highly recommend you give mfmm a try.

Seventeen Reaction (Performance Unit): Falling for  ‘99 Liner

e Request:  Can you do performance unit too? Cause my friend want minghao and jun. I want hoshi. Hahahaha the one that I req? 😆💕 plus thanks for the hiphop unit too. ❤ I appreciate it 💎

A/N: @hoshijamjam aha no problem at all, who wouldn’t want a bit of Performance Unit in their life? I hope you and your friend enjoy! <3 

Jun:

Originally posted by nugutaegi

I think he’d be a little surprised at first at your birth year, the fact that your looks and maturity surpassed that impressed him also. Regardless he was already completely besotted with you, from your grace to your smile to the way you always made his day and so he wasn’t even going to think about letting a measly age gap ruin that. He wanted you and he didn’t care about your age, all he knew was that he was head over heels.

Hoshi:

Originally posted by visual-17

Your age would mean next to nothing to him, the actual age gap being fairly small in his mind. Either way, he was excited to be getting to know you, a new friend that understood his busy schedule, loved his choreography and laughed at his jokes was rare to him. Maybe that’s why he got the butterflies in his stomach. And the sweaty palms. And the intense gaze. Maybe that’s why he totally fell for you.

The8:

Originally posted by itseventeen-hasmoved

Minghao would be happy when he found out you were a ‘99 liner, believing an age gap would be fun to interact with. He would sometimes poke fun at you for being younger and ‘not knowing the way of the world’ but deep down he knew that his feelings were starting to develop into a full blown crush that had him in a giggling, mushy mess.

Dino:

Originally posted by theresakk1889

He would be so excited! He finally got to interact with someone as young as him which meant he could joke around with them. Maybe that’s how you started to spend more and more time together, texting every night and no one could deny the huge smile on his face when he saw you. In truth, the hyungs gathered he liked you before he did but when they asked, he couldn’t deny it.

Viktor's tough love

After episode 10, I couldn’t help thinking that if Viktor was already besotted with Yuri, why was he so mean to him in the beginning? I was mostly thinking of that sick burn when he asks Yuri why he was eating katsudon when he hadn’t won anything. That was just so harsh!
I think it was meant to be harsh. Viktor needed to shake Yuri up a little. When he arrived he saw someone who had already given up, out of shape and defeated, retired in everything but name. Yuri was eating katsudon like a regular person, ie whenever he wanted to. He was out of that goal oriented mindset. Viktor’s comment threw cold water on Yuri. “Hell no, you’re not eating katsudon, you only get this when you win, remember, because you are a competitor.”

“Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?” [OQ]

In which someone receives an unexpected visitor. Enchanted Forest, missing year. Prompt as requested by sassgina-and-awesomehood​ and an anon. Thanks guys!

Also, I lied. I promised something nsfw for this prompt, but, it just didn’t seem to fit. Which is why there is going to be a sequel, based on another dialogue prompt. That’s not cheating, is it?

Dusk has just begun to cling to the air when he finishes setting up for target practice. He stands back to eyeball his handiwork, the thin wooden slab of circles carved within circles that he’s anchored to a tree with a few carefully aimed arrows.

Little John had given him a fair bit of grief for tasking him with holding it in place while Robin had strung his bow and fixed his gaze upon its center, then angled up, adjusting for the changing winds before letting his arrow loose upon the exact spot he’d intended for it to land. Still, his closest friend and ally had refused to pry so much as one eye open until the final arrow had lodged in place, withdrawing a shaky hand and grumbling all the way back to his tent that legendary or no, he’d rather he not be the one to put the accuracy of Robin’s aim to the test.

“The day I miss is the day you won’t live to hear it,” Robin calls after him with a smirk before turning his attention back to the issue at present. He recalls, with a thoughtful bite of his lip, that Snow White is just near a head shorter than he, so by his estimation the makeshift target should be at a proper enough height for her to—

He hears the scream halfway across camp.

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