We need to break the stereotype/plot device in media of the abuser who is abusive because of they have been abused in the past. Yes, this does happen. Yes, apparently a lot of abusers are survivors themselves. But people can be abusive without having a history of being abused. Part of it is feels so much like excuses, like it’s okay to be abusive if you were abused. Not only is that so damn harmful and dangerous, it invalidates abuse survivors who abusers were survivors too.
The outcome of this plot being used over and over and over in media is that it makes abuse survivors feel like we’re inevitably going to be abusive- that whatever we do, the fact that we were abused means we will only ever end up being abusive ourselves, that we, and our futures, are defined by our abuse. We are more than our abuse, and this plot device feels like it’s burying that.