alonzo sim

One of the perks of being an aspiring criminal is that you can be mean and nasty to all the people around you because that’s part of the daily job requirements.

This EA townie here seems to be desperate to get mocked for his various crimes against fashion. Alonzo makes full use of that.


Please note that these weird purple blobs in the sky are the blossoms of a cherry tree (?) in front of Alonzo. I was too hypnotised by his buttocks to correct the camera angle while I made that screenshot.

Alonzo is judging you.

He’s the other grandson of Will and Benno who starts a new family. From now on I’ll switch between four households - the Glockenspiels, the Woodruffs, the Onwuatuegwus and Alonzo’s. Who hasn’t found a suitable partner yet, therefore I don’t know what his future family will be called.

I hope it doesn’t get too complicated for you! I will link to their family tree any time soon.


Alonzo was able to locate the defaulting debtor, and his attempt at intimidation seemed to be successful at first.

The following fight however was a total embarrassment, even if it attracted quite a crowd. Unfortunately his boss Don Malvoglio was also among the spectators, and he was stupefied with horror witnessing the defeat of his best thug (Alonzo’s fully skilled in fitness).

“Alonzo and I must work graveyard shifts tonight*, so it’s your turn to tuck your little brother in tonight.”

“No problem, Dad!”

Yuri looked askance at his eldest. Babysiting without bitching and moaning about it? He smelled a rat!


Yes, Yuri returned to the Mixologist career. Thanks to the Connections Reward he was hired at level 4, that was at least a slight consolation.

Alonzo has the Soulmate aspiration currently, and one of his enjoyable tasks is to have several dates with his husband.

But since he’s also in the random and very incongruous criminal career, he must practise his mischievous skill as well - which makes those dates totally weird and quite stressful for poor Yuri.

Passionate kisses are followed by electric shocks with the hand buzzer and backrubs by a hearty Slap ‘em Silly. Yuri is a nervous wreck after each of these shitty dates. Even if he’s aware of his man’s Insane trait, how long will he tolerate Alonzo’s goofiness?