almost flooded !

Batjokes Handling Alfred's Time off Headcanons

- Bruce and the kids can’t cook to save themselves from starvation; at some point, after days of Alfred’s absence and takeaway, they’ll even eat Dick’s infamously teeth-rotting pancakes if it means putting something handmade in their stomachs.

- J. finds all of this hilarious, of course, but he offers to make food for them; mind you, it’s not French cuisine but he can do mean toasties and pasta.

- The deal though, is that everyone else has to do the washing up.

- Once Bruce almost flooded Alfred’s precious kitchen so, he was exonerated from the task.

- The kids set up some weird and mildly violent competitive game involving squirt guns filled with dish soap (the idea was Tim’s)

- Jason is disgustingly competitive and not above maiming if it means winning (he’s known for squirting soap in his brothers’ eyes)

- Dick and Damian are the Terrible Duo

- They even set up teams and hung up a score board behind the fridge, well hidden from Alfred’s disapproving gaze.

- The system with which they assign points is not exactly clear and they take every chance to cheat as if there is no tomorrow (Bruce is appalled by their lack of fair play, while J. is not-so-secretly proud)

- Deep under Bruce is pretty happy, though - not only this is a good bonding exercise that makes them have fun and train some of their reflexes at the same time, but it’s also a small accepting step towards J.

- They lost count of the times someone got seriously injured after slipping on the suds covering the floor.

- At the end of each game, J. ends up making hot chocolate (or smoothies, it depends on the season) for everyone.

- Everytime Alfred comes back from his holidays, the kitchen is spotless but he knows his scoundrels well and always goes to check on the score board hidden behind the fridge.

- Because he’s an evil man, he changes the scores and grins at the idea of the boys screaming murder at each other.

- They’re a big happy family.

Him. (F)

Originally posted by heavenly-minds

Pairing: Yoongi x Hoseok (Yoonseok)

Word Count: 1,021

~Des

Hoseok’s just looking for some strength..

(A/N: This is inspired by Hobi’s tweet from 160821, captioned “HIM :(” so yeah.)

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Toddler Cap

OK, mein erstes CAS Objekt :) Heute ist Kleinkinder-Tag,  andere Sachen wollten nicht so wie es gern hätte…. also habe ich diese Kappe für die Kleinen konvertiert!

  • EA Standard Farben
  • Custom Thumbnail
  • Custom Swatches
  • Kann mit den Standard-Kleinkind-Haaren genutzt werden
  • Grundspieltauglich

Ich wünsche euch viel Spaß damit! Bitte lasst es mich wissen wenn es zu Problemen kommt (ich hoffe die Kappe hat nicht schon jemand gemacht, mein Dashboard ist geradezu überflutet mit Kleinkind-CC :D )

Ok, my first CAS object :) Today is Toddler’s day, other things did not want as it would like …. so I converted this cap for the little ones!

  • EA standard colors
  • Custom Thumbnail
  • Custom Swatches
  • Can be used with the standard toddler hair
  • Basegame

I wish you a lot of fun! Please let me know if it comes to problems (I hope the cap has not already made someone, my dashboard is almost flooded with toddler CC :D)


Download: SFS

a poem

With our mane, to forever.
It is almost like the flood swell, thank the eyes were they, his weight bearing back breaking, dictate the deafening earthen tones.
Let them all the red, red, your god in the last remains of the written word.
The heat for such a forgotten garden.
Reap the water, wade.
I chose to the tiny moving from side to sleep.
This is so much hope buried underneath a refusal to a final breath and i have never let the first light and white.
Year by the latter just a replacement.
I will suit my dear, so tall when you curse, curse constantly, of escape.
Ignore it, it again and dying petals in the flood swell on days,“ leigh said.

The Spaces Between Us

requested by @youffievalentine :

okay then… a thankgiving fic :) like, we know that Jonathan is good at breakfasts so i have the headcanon he is an excellent cook. Nancy had to make a pie for her family dinner and she can’t cook to save her life! so, she asks jon’s help



The ring of the phone came a fourth time as Nancy’s finger drummed impatiently on the kitchen wall next to where the phone rested.

“Come on, come on…pick up, pick up, please pick up…”

“Hello?”

Nancy jumped, gripping the phone tighter (after almost dropping it), relief flood her brain, “Jonathan? Oh my god why didn’t you pick up the first three times I called?”

“Nancy? Oh I was outside with Will and the dog I…is everything okay?”

Nancy’s put her head in her hands and once again contemplated if she should even be making this call. The complete stupidity of this whole situation settled in, “Yes? No actually. Um…my mom kind of wanted me to help with today…”

“And…?”

“Which is Thanksgiving…”

“Correct…” the slight hesitation before the word and tone of his voice indicated that he was beginning to catch on to what was happening.

“And I…may or may not have promised to make a pie?”

There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the phone, followed by a moment of heavy and understanding silence.

“Give me ten minutes”.

+++

Nancy answered the door before the second knock even came. Jonathan stood outside with a large mixing bowl. Inside was some eggs, a stick of butter, a bag of flour, a can of pureed pumpkin, and other assorted and necessary pie baking materials. Nancy tried to ignore the flutter in her heart as he smiled at her from her doorstep.

“Thank God, I had no idea what I was doing but I kind of wanted to do it on my own so I already tried to make one and the house already had to be aired out once so the smoke alarm would quit beeping and I-”

Jonathan looked nothing short of horrified, “Nancy…you tried to bake? Don’t you remember that time you burned the spaghetti and-”

“Yes I remember,” she cut him off, an edge of exasperation on her voice. She pinched the bridge of her nose and squeezed her eyes shut, “Just…just come see”.

Together, they walked into the kitchen. When he say the carnage before him, all Jonathan could utter was, “Oh, Nancy…”

The kitchen was a wreck. A mass of black in a pan sat on top of the stove, still smoking, presumably the culprit of the fire alarm mentioned earlier. Ingredients were spilled all over the counter and onto the floor. Several mixing bowls were set aside with failed filling concoctions that looked nothing short of dangerous to consume.

Without another word, Jonathan walked into the kitchen and plopped his bowl of ingredients down on the countertop, turning to face Nancy.

“Well alrighty,” he began as he cracked his knuckles. She rolled her eyes at the dramatic gesture. “Watch and learn”.

+++

Everything was going smoothly. Jonathan taught Nancy the importance of actually measuring out ingredients properly and how to mix evenly (her technique before had been based off rough estimations). The pie was in the oven and they were cleaning up while nancy thought of how happy she was that she had called Jonathan to help.

That is, until he threw a handful of flour at her.

The flour hit her square in the face. A moment passed where she stood there in complete shock while Jonathan cackled, obviously very pleased with himself. It took about .01 seconds for the shock to pass, and before Jonathan had time to process what was happening, Nancy had dumped her own handful of flour right on top of his head.

The cackling ceased and was replaced by a malicious and evil grin.

“Oh,” he said in a deadly monotone voice, his hand slowly picking up a whisk sitting in the empty filling bowl, still dripping with batter, “it’s on”.

Nancy screeched as he whipped the whisk at her, splattering orange goo all over the front of her sweater, prompting her to arm herself with the spray bottle of water her mother used to clean the kitchen counters with.

Jonathan practically flew backwards as cold water hit his face and  Nancy was nothing short of relentless, she barely gave him a chance to continue his spray of orange pie filling between streams of liquid. Both of them were laughing so hard they could barely breathe as they viciously attacked each other in barrages of flour and filling and water.

“Surrender!” shouted Jonathan over the chaos.

Nancy laughed evilly, nailing uim in the face with a well places blasts of water, “never!”

Jonathan jumped forward, and grabbed the arm wielding the sprayer, causing Nancy to squeal and try to escape, laughter ringing out once more from both the teenagers. In an attempt to steady her, he reached for the other hand, pulling to try to take control of the bottle and…

Their bodies were pulled together, their faces inches apart. The laughter stopped they became increasingly aware of the distance, or rather lack thereof, between them, and every inch of skin that was touching the others. Both of Jonathan’s hands were still holding Nancy’s, and were wrapped around her back, closing the space even more.

Time seemed to slow down every second they stayed like this, both realizing that the other was not moving either.

Jonathan couldn’t help but look right into her eyes. They had come gold in them. He had never noticed that before. The small of Nancy’s back burned with electricity where Jonathan’s hands rested on it. Part of her knew wanted to pull away, afraid of what this sensation was. The other never wanted to move from this exact spot.

They were so close, each breath he took moved the strands of hair right in her face. But just as he was about to reach up and push them back, Nancy’s mom entered the kitchen.

“Nancy I, oh…oh um hello Jonathan”.

As quickly as they had come together they jumped apart, Nancy feverishly brushing off her sweater, her back still feeling as if his hands had never left it.

“Oh, um hi, mom, the pie’s in the oven right now”.

Her mother smiled at her and nodded, a twinkle of smug suspicion passing over her eye. That was when she noticed the mess behind her. “Heaven above, what have you two done to my kitchen?”

“Sorry, Mrs. Wheeler,” pipped up Jonathan quickly, “it uh, it was my fault I started it”.

“Well just as long as you clean it up, I suppose. It was nice seeing you Jonathan”. As her mother exited, she flashed Nancy a strange smile and headed upstairs.

The two sat in a charged silence for a moment.

“Well um, I’ll get the uh, the spray bottle and start wiping down,” Nancy said, clearing her throat.

“Oh no you don’t, I’m never trusting you with one of those ever again”.

Nancy laughed, seeming to shatter the weight of what had just passed between them. She reached for the bowl on the counter and put it in the sink.

What ever it had been, what ever had just happened, it was beginning to become evident that something had to give. That the two of them could not remain in this place of in between and timid uncertainty. She turned and watched Jonathan as he brushed a pile of flour into the trash can beneath.

One thing was for sure. Both wanted to completely fall into the other, and both were scared out of their mind to jump. Both of them had their toes up to the edge of the cliff. It was now just a matter of who was going to leap first.

3

Imagine Going To Pride With Your Girlfriend Natasha


For Anon


Bright colors, glitter, and almost naked bodies flood New York. The Avengers tower is lit up in rainbow colors and all the Avengers are trapsing around New York enjoying the festivities.


Thor is leading an army of pansexuals through all the parks.


Tony and Steve are starting a bisexual safe place in one of Tony’s clubs.


Clint and Phil are collecting aromantic and asexual people together to give positive self esteem seminars.


Fury is actually participating too and hanging out at a Demisexual picnic lunch.


Maria is leading a support group for transgender and transsexual people.


Pietro is living it up at a gay bar.


Vision is hanging with the gender non binary community.


Wanda is explaining how to be an ally to all the cis straight friends that were dragged to Pride.


All the while you and Natasha are scheming with the lesbians on how to take over the world.


“So are we going to kill all the men?” Caren asks. You and Natasha had easily learned the louder girls names.


“I say no we need slaves” Natasha replies.


“I like how you think darling” you say and kiss her cheek.


“Thanks honey. Happy Pride” Natasha whispers in your ear.


“What about misogyny we have to destroy that first” someone shouts.


“Agreed” you and Natasha state at the same time. “We will just have to start a Twitter movement.”

Headcanon where an 8th year Harry wakes up in the Slytherin dorms after a night with Draco, but of course he has no memory of getting there - the Firewhiskey was strong the night before, you see. Instead of admitting that he and Harry slept together, Draco, before Harry gets out of bed, convinces Harry that of course he woke up in the Slytherin dorms, he’s slept in those dorms ever since he was sorted into Slytherin seven years prior. Harry buys it until Draco breaks down into hysterics on the way out of the room. 

Harry’s memories flood back almost instantly, only getting Draco to stay when Harry asks him for a repeat performance.

“It’s a good memory” are four of the most important words to me in the show.

Without them, anti-Megstiel shippers could still try to say that Cas and Meg’s kiss, arguably their most significant canon romantic interaction (or at least the most obvious) didn’t mean anything.

“Meg just kissed Cas because she wanted to distract him to steal his blade.” “Cas just kissed back because he’d been watching porn and was curious.”

But none of that is true. Cas completely lost his mind after the Leviathan. He suffered a long period of total amnesia, followed by a period of PTSD-fueled dissociation in which it was difficult to tell what parts of his past he was able to connect with on any level.

And when he recovered, out of millennia worth of experiences that must have come flooding back, almost certainly overwhelming him, he remembered that time that he and Meg kissed. And it was a good memory.

The way he phrased that implies that it’s one he has revisited before, one that he treasures. We don’t tend to call something “a memory” if it’s something we didn’t remember until someone else brought it up. Besides which, she didn’t even have to say it for him to know that was what she was teasing him about. Cas, who usually struggles with subtle inferences and body language, knew from a smile and a raised eyebrow that Meg was asking him if he remembered kissing her. That’s how connected they were.

Those four words confirm that even before they understood or accepted it, Cas and Meg did the things they did together because they actually liked each other. Whatever the surface reasons for their kiss might have been, it doesn’t change that they meant it.

I really need an Outlet for the Dom in me!

Well shit! I haven’t had a little or a sub to let my physical dom side out in over a year! It’s been building up over time to where the thoughts of dominating someone are almost always flooding my brain.

It sure as hell doesn’t help that since my promotion at work I need to take people who have been doing bad into my office.

But now the dom has spilled over and I didn’t even know I was doing it until I had already done it.
Today a family member of mine was getting on my nerves, I asked them to do something and they said no, I then told them to do it and they said no and turned there back to me. Not even thinking, I used daddy voice telling them again and full force whipped my hand and spanked them.
We were both speechless for a few seconds and then they did what I asked.

I need a little to be a dom to Dx

@banchokun

         It’d be immature to say the weather was unfair, though, given it’s raining, that’s literally what it is, but that’s not what he wants to think. He’d made his way to the pavilion neighboring the Samegawa early in the day the sounds of the water and the light human traffic and lack of noise associated with it made it an ideal place to study without being isolated at the Inn.   

         It’d begun a drizzle nearly immediately after he’d settled, but it was light and even provided a better atmosphere than the river sounds, an acceptable change. Heading home under the light rain wouldn’t be a problem. It’d lasted extraordinarily long, and just as it seemed to have run it’s course, instead of stopping like it ought, the sky decided now it would open up and drop everything it had. To the point that Yosuke was almost worried it’d flood.   

         The people walking had thinned and and essentially vanished during the drizzle, so seeing someone… Yu(?) rushing down the road came as a surprise. He squints his eyes, shuffling as close to the edge of the shelter could without being caught in the downpour to try and see clearly, the distance and the weather doing his sight no favors. It is him running! 

Ah, Senpai!

        He’s not sure if his shouting will carry, he waves his arms as well, maybe he’ll see better than he could hear, hopefully he’ll join him. For his own sake at least. He shouldn’t be out in this! What is he thinking? His own reason was solid but what could’ve brought Yu out? 

ok so jaina/maiev may be one of the absolute worst ideas i’ve ever had but o!! how personally gratifying it is!!! what a complex and ill-matched mutual trainwreck!! horrible angry women who take everything too far and dont get listened to ever, teaming up and being horrible and angry and taking everything too far together! maiev is supposed to hate mages but jaina has come around to kind of hating other mages lately and the wardens are begrudgingly hanging out with khadgar now anyways so it’s even keel

 they meet while jaina’s still at the kirin tor helm, conferring with khadgar to figure out how to best thwart gul’dan after cordana’s betrayal, and as soon as Grandpa Piss checks out for the night it quickly turns from tense negotiation into the both of them breaking into the stores of kul tiran vintage (maiev lost the ability to get even remotely drunk abt ~nine thousand years ago but its alright) and exchanging their best revenge and near-revenge stories. “i almost flooded an entire city once,” admits jaina with red-rimmed eyes and an expression that manages to strike some balance between a grimace and a wild grin. “thats cool” says maiev, remembering the time she tracked the dude who killed her girlfriend into another dimension and then mounted his fel be-crystal’d corpse above her fireplace “you’re cool”. And then they move on to the ‘sexy pillowfight’ stage of the sleepover 

“lady jaina’s new bodyguard sure is kind of scary, dont you think” says khadgar breezily to the council of six a week later, not noticing that they’ve all been encased in giant green crystals while his back was turned 

Meme Spell: “Flesh on Fire”, by reblogging this, for the next 3 hours, My Muse’s skin is hot and very sensitive, touching them will feel like hot, almost orgasmic, waves flooding through them. How will your Muse take advantage of this?
3

Part 2 was requested so here it is I hope you all like it 😁:

You felt your self rising rapidly, it was pitch black and cold. You couldn’t remember anything except your name. Loud clanking noises surrounded you. “I’m i dead?” You thought. You remained rushing rapidly upwards for about an hour. You felt sick from the motion and threw up, and you were pretty sure you rolled in it. All of a sudden it stopped. You stopped moving up and you heard this loud clanging noise and a deafening buzzer.
Two doors above you opened and light flooded in, almost blinding you. You shielded your eyes.
“It’s a new Greenie!” A tall blonde boy yelled behind him once he saw you below.
What the heck is a Greenie, you thought.
“It’s a girl! Looks like she got a little sick too, ew,” a stern boy grimaced.
“Here, up you go love,” the tall one said grabbing you and pulling you up, cleaning you up as well, “What’s your name?”
“Y/N,” you replied.
“Pretty name for a pretty girl, I’m Newt,” he smiled, “and you’re in the Glade!”
“What the hell is a Glade?” Was all you could manage to say. Newt started explaining things, but you were too distracted by the boy he just ran into this “Glade”. He looked strong and was actually really attractive. He looked of some Asian decent, and honestly you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. You couldn’t help but feel an immediate connection. You felt like you remembered him from some where but you couldn’t remember, and if you didn’t know any better you’d say he thought so too. He approached you, mouth gaping open.
“Who’s this?” He asked Newt.
“Minho this is the new Greenie, y/n. Y/N this Minho, he’s the keeper of the runners. Now, Minho don’t get any ideas, she just got here, give her some space. That goes for all of you, no matter how pretty you think she is, she’s off limits, ok?” he said to the gathering crowd of what you noticed was all boys who sighed.
“Am I the only girl?” You asked growing more frightened.
“Why yes sweet heart, I’m Gally, and I’d be glad to show you around.”
“No Gally, I think we’ll let Minho do it,” you couldn’t help but catch Newt wink at Minho when he said that. You walked over to the handsome stranger, who couldn’t stop smiling.
A couple hours later you had seen everything and had basically been filled in on all there is to know, and you got to spend some time with this handsome, familiar stranger. He was so charming, always winking at you and smiling. But sometimes he would just stare at you, and get lost and think for a while, and then snap out of it and continue. It was all very odd, but amazing being with him at the same time.
It was about night time and you had just experienced the walls closing for the first time. You sat down away from the other guys at their nightly bonfire, the chants being screamed gave you a head ache.
“Hey,” Minho sat down next to you, his sweet scent seemed so familiar.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Be my guest sweetheart,” he smirked, and you felt like your stomach was floating away, you grabbed it and he gave you a questioning look. It all seemed so familiar, the feeling, although you didn’t know what it was, seemed normal, and like he had given you it before.
“Ok, I’m just going to be straight forward here. I know you from somewhere, I don’t know how and I don’t know where, but I do. And I can’t help but feel this connection to you, I know it’s weird,” you said tightening up, thinking he was going to laugh.
“No, it’s not,” he said soaringly blankly ahead, but then all of a sudden he turned to face you, “I’ve seen you before, in my dreams.”
“Oh very smooth,” you laughed, but felt your stomach floating again, “who’ve you been practicing on?” You sarcastically asked, trying to hide your panic.
“Oh sarcastic aren’t we?” he winked, the flames accentuating his features, “I’m not kidding though. I’ve had dreams about this beautiful girl, screaming my name, and I couldn’t reach her. I can’t tell you the countless hours I stayed up thinking about her, and then she just shows up in the Glade out of nowhere. And being here with her, ah you, just feels so…”
“Right.” You both say. He was looking away, but met your eyes. All of a sudden he leaned in to kiss you, and it just felt, well, right.
“I’m so sorry, I know Newt said you’re off limits.”
“No, I’m not.”
“But he said…”
“No, not to you,” you smile.
“Good, cause I can’t help but feel like you’re here for me. To keep me sane.” You smile and kiss him, all the noise from the Gladers just fades out, and it’s just you two, together, and nothing, not even the people who put you here can ruin that. You’re there for each other, and nothing can stop that.

anonymous asked:

Juju My toilet flooded last night and it almost flooded the house and I've been getting lectured and shoutings ever since. Could I please have a sexy and cute Kyungsoo spam to cheer me up? Thank you x - potterhead anon Ps: Did you like the vine edit? It was your Christmas present from me ☺️

I did like it, thank you.

I’ve done so many Soo spams that I’m starting to run out of gifs that I haven’t used before. I’ve probably spammed with all of these already but hopefully it’s still enjoyable. xo

Starter ~ Heat

Quinn was sitting in class, listening to her teacher lecture, but her mind kept wandering.  She’d been having trouble concentrating these last few days and didn’t know why.  She kept having these…daydreams about mating, which was odd, since she found the whole nature of such things to be abhorent and she was glad she was a beta…or so she assumed.  Other girls her age who were Omegas had already gone into heat and she’d seen more than one be claimed by an alpha.

The whole thing was disgusting…and erotic.  Maybe it wouldn’t be so….

Oh no.  

She could feel the heat as it flooded her, almost exactly as it had been described in health class.  She gasped, clutching the edges of her desk, suddenly all too aware of the scents of all the others in the room and, from the way all heads turned to her, they too could smell her as her body announced her as a fertile female, ready to be bred.

smallvillehero

TODAY I GAVE MY DOG A BATH AND WHEN I WAS TOWELING HIM OFF HE PANICKED AND STARTED SHITTING ALL OVER THE PLACE LIKE THERE WERE AT LEAST 9 BALLS OF POOP IN HIS TOWEL AND ONE ENDED UP IN THE KITCHEN ON A SHORT TABLE LIKE HOW DID YOU FUCKING DO THAT BUT ANYWAYS I WAS HOME ALONE AND PANICKED AND GOT A BUNCH OF PAPER TOWELS BUT THEY’RE BRAWNY™ SO THEY’RE HIGH QUALITY AND STRONG AND I WAS TRYING TO NOT THROW UP AND CRY PICKING UP ALL THE SHIT AND THEN I RUN UPSTAIRS AND TRY AND FLUSH IT ALL DOWN THE TOILET BUT BECAUSE OF THE PAPER TOWELS THE TOILET GOT CLOGGED AND I TRIED PLUNGING IT AND IT WOULDN’T BUDGE AND THEN MY PARENTS GOT HOME AND TRIED TO UNCLOG IT AND IT JUST STAYED CLOGGED AND THE TOILET ALMOST FLOODED LIKE 5 TIMES SO MY DAD UNRAVELED A WIRE HANGER TO TRY AND PUSH IT DOWN BUT THAT DIDN’T WORK SO I’M SITTING IN THE LIVING ROOM LISTENING TO THE FAILED UNCLOGGINGS AND THEN MY MOM SCREAMS AND IT’S BECAUSE MY DAD REACHED HIS ARM INTO THE TOILET TO PULL OUT THE PAPER TOWELS FULL OF DOG SHIT AND NOW OUR TOILET’S FINE BUT MY DAD LITERALLY TOUCHED OLD WET DOG POOP THAT HAS BEEN MARINATING IN TOILET WATER FOR 6 HOURS AND THAT’S MY DAY