almost 3 years ago what

Top Ten Rebelcaptain Fic Rec

Yooooooo I got tagged by @rapidashpatronus​ . Gotta start by saying since I’ve been in this ship back in December 2016, I’ve bookmarked some 150 fics because THERE’S JUST SOOOOO MANY GOOD FICS OUT THERE and the writers are really purely amazing people!

So here’s fics that I’ve been reading more than once, or the one I occasionally open whenever I feel like I need to have some feels in my daily life as lawyer/(currently) master student:

10. What Stays and What Fades by rosaxx50 / @venusmelody (T)

Compact, light with just the right amount of angst and comfort. The moment they finally meet each other just made my heart stops. Not to mention the ending. LOVE IT <3

9. Catch Me When I Fall by warqueenfuriosa / @warqueenfuriosa (T)

This one was the first angsty fic that I read and boy how I love this one because it triggers every emotion you have from anger, annoyed, fear, anxious, etc etc you name it. Also, stupid me who mixed ‘waist’ with ‘wrist’ so I have to (happily) re-read this fic.

8. Sunset by KyberChronicles (T)


7. Unexpected by Kobo / @rxbxlcaptain (NR)

Short, sweet, and unexpected. You can literally imagine the story happens should they survived in the future and it made me so happy *cries in Festian*

6. Rearranged by Jaded / @operaticspacetrash (T)

I don’t usually read AU but this one’s definitely worth the exception. Dying to know the 2nd chapter but the 1st one’s already so perfect so wear your lace and your cravatte and read it.

5. my darling, i’ll tuck your name under my tongue by Tiara_of_Sapphires (E)

This AU is also worth the exception. Been reading this one for the 10981028 times this week, not to mention the idea of smuggler!Jyn and prince!Cassian was perfectly executed in this fic.

4. Five Times Cassian Sees Jyn Sleeping With Her Blaster And One Time He Doesn’t by SuchStuffAsDreamsAreMadeOn / @wearesuchstuff1 (T)

This is the most perfect mix of angst-hurt-comfort-fluff that I’ve read so far, also from all stories about comforting nightmare, this one’s so perfect. Also I love how it smoothly swift between Jyn and Cassian’s point of view that it formed a very great story. Just. read. it.

3. I Know What Everything’s For by SuchStuffAsDreamsAreMadeOn / @wearesuchstuff1 (T)

Okay I don’t even know where to begin about this great fic so just click the link on the title and read it yourself. You won’t regret it.

2. Earned It by corinnemaree (E)

This one’s have a special place in my heart because this is the very first Rebelcaptain fic that I read after watching Rogue One. Last movie that made me as crazy as this was The Hobbit AUJ and it was what? 3 years ago? So I almost forgot all this feels and fun of being in a ship and reading fanfics until Rogue One came and I started to become active on Tumblr again and voila! I found this fic. The rest is history.

1. you’re the fire (and the flood) by monroeslittle (M)

There’ll comes the time when I’d be tired of reading this fic BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY (honestly that day will never come). Everything about this fic is just perfect. I really love how the beautiful writer describe the situation through conversation so even though the fic was very loooong, you don’t feel bored or lost at all. I also love how it didn’t ‘force’ Rey’s story and the other two boys are just the sweetest. Reading this also constantly reminds me of my cousins (I’m an only child so I never had the luxury of having a siblings) and how much I missed them. So yeah, this one’s the best fic.

I’ll tag the writers that I mentioned in this post so that’ll be @wearesuchstuff1 @operaticspacetrash @rxbxlcaptain @warqueenfuriosa and @venusmelody and also @runakvaed @alejandra925 AND ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO JOIN YOU’RE VERY WELCOME!

I don’t understand why some “ELFs” want Sungmin out. Like yes he kept it a secret from us that he was dating and was going to get married. But he already apologized and feels regretful for not letting us know sooner. This also happened almost 3 years ago so why now deciding to kick him out? So what if he’s married? ELFs can still continue to love and support him just like how we have always been for the past 12 years. Not just Sungmin, but all of the other members are probably shocked by the news. Can you guys imagine how upset they must feel to hear about this? Is it wrong to be married to the one you love? What happened to OT13/OT15? Just please stop all of this before it’s too late to turn back. I’m pretty sure the members would not want to comeback if a member has to go.

Just look at how happy they are.

Originally posted by yehae

Get To Know Me!

I was tagged by the Lovely @beefybuffybucky

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you want to get to know better

1.Nicknames: A-A-ron, Er-Bear

2.Gender: FtM Transgender

3.Star Sign: Capricorn

4.Height: 5'4

5.Time: 3:35am

6.Birthday: January 8th

7.Favorite Bands: The Killers, Green Day, TØP, PWR BTTM, Transviolet

8. Favorite Solo Artists: Halsey, Lana Del Rey

9.Song Stuck In My Head: Fetish- Selena Gomez

10.Last Movie I Watched: Captain America: The Winter Soldier

11.Last Show I Watched: The Office

12.When Did I Create My Blog: Almost 3 years ago

13.What Do I Post: Mostly Marvel and Seb Stan sometimes Star Trek

14.What I Last Googled: The Killers Tour Dates

15.Do I Have Other Blogs: Nope

16.Do you get asks: Rarely

17.Why Did You Choose Your Url: Have you seen Buckys butt?!?!

18.Following: 351

19.Followers: 463

20.Favorite Colors: Blue, Orange

21.Average Hours Of Sleep: 3-4

22.Lucky Number: 3

23.Instruments I Play: Piano and Flute

24.What Am I Wearing: Green Day shirt and Basketball shorts

25.How Many Blankets I Sleep With: 2

26.Dream Job: Law Enforcement

27.Dream Trip: Iceland

28.Favorite Food: Pasta

29.Nationality: American

30.Favorite Song: Miss Atomic Bomb- The Killers


Please Don’t Feel Like You Have To!!

LOL from “I dont really know what I’m doing at all” (almost 3 years ago) to “make it as gay and pretty as possible”

i forget what this is called…art before and after? Artist progress. Idfk. That first one was also one of my first posts to get a large response. Time flies. 

edit: here’s the newest piece !

“I wish we would have never adopted you!”

Those were the last words my mom said to me, almost 3 years ago.

I often think about what lead up to them: was it me graduating high school? My newly established relationship, with my very first boyfriend? Me heading off to college? Or maybe it was her going to therapy to unearth her own problems, only to not have them fully resolved in the end, leaving her wounds open to the rest of the world, myself included.

At only a month old, I had been abandoned and put into an orphanage; I was fighting for my life, and was finally able to start a new one, 5 months later when my adoptive parents flew halfway across the world to get me (they never let me forget that part). Who would have known, at 18 years old, I would have to experience the abandonment all over again?

Those were the last words she said to me, before I moved out and went to live with my grandmother. I’d like to say I’m doing better, but honestly, the depression ate away at me deeply for the first year, and still continues to effect me almost 3 years later.

Can things be fixed between us? Maybe. If reading everyone’s stories on here have taught me one thing, it’s that life’s too short and I certainly don’t want those 8 words to be the last ones that echo in my head once she’s gone for good. But in a way, I am also freed. Freed of the unhappiness and emotional abuse they brought into my life. Freed of the control my adoptive father so desperately tried to have over my every move; that in the end, they both failed to maintain. And that is everything to me.

All Good Things...

I am writing to say goodbye.

Almost 3 years ago I started this blog with no idea what it would turn in to.  Since then I have shared some of my greatest victories and toughest losses.  But due to life circumstances my reign as TNQD is coming to an end.

Don’t worry though, TheNotQuiteDoctor is not going anywhere.  As a blog this will continue.  In fact, the last few months I have been gathering writers to contribute.  It is their hard work that has kept this blog afloat.  Upon my request, one has offered to take my spot.  She will be the next iteration of TNQD and serve as a source of pre-med/med wisdom.  She, and the other writers who have been contributing, will ensure that this blog lives on. 

My life has gotten more complex in the last year as I have begun writing for news outlets and larger medical blogs.  My research has been advancing and I am being pulled into larger projects.  Plus the ever present step 1 looms over all that I do.  This all has happened while I continue to balance being a medical student and graduate student.  There are times in life where you reach your limits - and this is mine.

This also feels like a natural time for me to step down.  I have overcome many of the problems I came here to vent about.  My love life seems in perfect order.  I am satisfied with my schoolwork and I have been exercising regularly.  I honestly feel happy, healthy, and balanced.    

My replacement will be transitioning into the blog throughout March (more likely closer to the end, and I will be around until then).  I know you will show her the same kindness you have shown me.  We have created a supportive community here, for students of all fields and all walks of life.  I sincerely hope you continue to participate and grow this blog in the years to come.

Thank you all for all the support you have given me.  Honestly, you, my faithful readers, have provided some of the kindest words and sincerest well wishes.  I am thankful for each of you.  

All the best in everything you do,


This is shyla aka baby who had a terrible heat stroke almost 3 years ago. We aren’t sure what happened but she had to learn how eat and drink all over again. She uses pee pads near the litter box and has regained most of her sight. She can jump up on the bed and has become a spoiled housecat. She enjoys sitting in front of the french door watching birds and boosting through the house. She has come a long way! (submitted by tracy)

question on #AllLivesMatter

so i just got this question in the instant messenger from someone and i want to answer it publicly, because even though this blog is unashamedly and obviously pro-Black ALL DAY EVERYDAY, i understand that not all of my followers identify with such a stance. 

Question: “So my question is why don’t all lives matter? The idea that only black lives matter is ridiculous. Especially when most black people are killed by black on black violence.”

Answer: so…to catch you up on the last 3-4 years or so and hundreds of conversations that have taken place on tumblr, facebook, twitter, and dozens of other mediums…saying that Black Lives Matter is not a stance to negate the value of other lives. it is a stance  to counter the obvious fact in this country that Black lives do not matter. the US has a glaringly racist history towards Black people and currently, not only are police officers (and racist laymen) murdering Black people at an alarming rate, but it isn’t being condemned, cops are not being punished or even reprimanded for their actions, and many of them are not even being removed from their professions. people who kill Black people with racist intents are being supported, either financially or through other means. and while protests like what happened in Ferguson happened almost 3 years ago, petitions have been signed, marches have been marched, lawsuits have been filed, and Black people are still being killed for unjust reasons. with this understanding, it is clear that Black lives do NOT matter in this country (and even worldwide….but that’s another conversation…).

when there are numerous examples of white people being taken into police custody without being shot for reaching for their licenses, when white domestic terrorists are handcuffed peacefully, when white citizens holding guns or other dangerous weapons are placed into custody alive, when whites that have been taken into custody don’t miraculously commit suicide while handcuffed or die from mysterious circumstances…it is clear that these lives matter. these lives are valued. these lives are important. therefore there is no need to state #AllLivesMatter or #WhiteLivesMatter (or #BlueLivesMatter) because in this country they already do and the justice system, the lay society, and everything else in this country backs that up. this is not the case for Black people. saying that all lives matter would be to believe that we’re all treated equally regardless of our race/skin color/ethnicity, gender, socio-economic status, religion, citizenship status, sexual orientation, language, etc….and if you know anything about this country you should know that that couldn’t be farther from the truth. so my question to you would be when have all lives mattered in this country? where? what century? what dimension? is this an alternate reality where all lives matter? because i know of no such reality….

i also understand that this country has been racist towards all people of color. however, #BlackLivesMatter does not negate that. #BlackLivesMatter is simply saying my Black life matters TOO. various people of color in this country have their struggles with different histories, circumstances, with different aspects to their fights that other POC may not have. all of these fights are valid and necessary. but at some point, the issues effecting these different peoples (some occupying various identities/ethnicities/”races” at the same time…) have to be addressed for each struggle. and right now (as it has been for years…centuries even if you want to go there…), for Black people people, we have to make it clear in this country that our lives matter. and if #BlackLivesMatter meant ONLY #BlackLivesMatter, it would say #ONLYBlackLivesMatter…but it doesn’t. if you assumed that based on no evidence whatsoever, that’s your own stupidity. 

and you’re right, some Black people are killed by other Black people. but when that happens, isn’t it punished? aren’t Black folks being packed into jails as we speak? doesn’t the “justice” system do them justice? in those cases, justice is sought and generally served. this is not the same as when someone with racist intents - consciously or not - kills random Black people because they hate Black people and/or have no regard for Black life. this is why a hate crime is considered a separate offense. that’s first. second, we’re generally talking about police officers - those that have taken an oath to protect and serve our communities - who are killing us. so on top of the fact that we have racists, who are supposed to protect and serve and aid us killing Black people especially, intentionally, nonchalantly… these same police officers FAIL to be punished. 

furthermore, your assumption that “most black people are killed by other black people” just speaks to murder. it doesn’t speak to deceased victims being disrespected, to vigils being ran over, to victims being the butt of racist jokes on social media, to victims having their pictures used as target practice at gun ranges, it doesn’t speak to Black women being cavity searched on the street, to Black children being seen as adult thugs, to people who videotape these murders being convicted of crimes and sentenced to prison, to peaceful protests being responded to with paramilitary tactics, to murderous cops getting off without even a charge. this is MORE than just murder. 

in summation, all lives have never mattered in this country, especially that of Black people. hence the need to reiterate again and again that #BlackLivesMatter. 

for those of you following this BlackFilm blog….let me reiterate that this is a pro-Black blog that is here for Black liberation, freedom, upliftment, and the empowerment of Black people worldwide. this is not a politically neutral blog. i have  an agenda as i just stated. if you don’t understand that, don’t support it, are confused by it, or are still wondering how #AllLivesMatter is some racist bullshit…unfollow me now.