Genetic analysis of hair samples attributed to yeti, bigfoot and other anomalous primates

In the first ever systematic genetic survey, we have used rigorous decontamination followed by mitochondrial 12S RNA sequencing to identify the species origin of 30 hair samples attributed to anomalous primates. Two Himalayan samples, one from Ladakh, India, the other from Bhutan, had their closest genetic affinity with a Palaeolithic polar bear, Ursus maritimus. Otherwise the hairs were from a range of known extant mammals.

So here we have this genetic study performed on several alleged bigfoot, yeti, etc. hair samples. Predictably, most of the hairs could be matched with modern, extant mammals. 

But wait a second, two of the hairs were identified as polar bears. But not to any living polar bear, in fact their closest match was to a 40,000 year old fossil polar bear from the Pleistocene.

Amidst all the anomalous primates and lake monsters, cryptozoology may just have actually stumbled upon an honest to goodness hidden animal for once, who’d have thunk?