ally did a thing

@zestytaako, @thespacenb, and i decided that taako has a cooking youtube channel- obviously titled sizzle it up with taako- and here’s how he uploads videos: the title and thumbnail are both insanely clickbaity and have fucking NOTHING to do with the actual video. itll be like “ALMOST GOT HIT BY A BUS????? STORY TIME!” and its a video of him making macaroons. 

One time however, Lup gets on and uploads just a normal cooking video. Taako gets on the episode after and says “i have no recollection of uploading this” and proceeds to go frame by frame to see if its actually him. He then drags Lup in like “Lup i cant tell if its me or not i think i have an impersonator” and they both go through like “WAITWAITWAIT ZOOM AND ENHANCE ON THAT MOLE I THINK THATS NOT A TAAKO MOLE” and they zoom in on the wall. they both totally know but you cant tell in the video 

2P Allies as Stuff I’ve Said

2P America-

Boobies are great, even gay men like boobies!

2P Canada-

Ok, but… You’re still wrong.

2P England-

Food is food, even if it’s bad it’s still pretty good (ok so i quoted Gumball but COME ON, it fits perfectly for him!)

2p france

I NEED A GIRL FRIEND!!

2p china

420 blaze? I blaze everyday, what chu talking about?

2p russia

I fear my little sister (and I do)

2p belarus

I would kill everyone on this planet just so I can pet all the dogs

2p ukraine 

I’m drunk, like really drunk. But I still came to work, and you’re going home because of some little cold? 

2p lithuania

Fucking Americans

2p estonia

How do I work this thing?!?!?

2p latvia

I will fight you, and you, and that guy… no, not that guy, he’s big and scary. 

Dragon Age Asks: Inquisitor + Companions

Blackwall
1. Did they suspect his true identity at all? Were they taken by surprise when he revealed himself?
2. What did they choose to do with him and how did they feel about their choice? Were they guilty about leaving him in cell, if they choose to do so?
3. Did their treatment of Blackwall change after discovering who he was? If yes, how so?
4. How close was your inquisitor to Blackwall? What drew your Inquisitor to him or away from him?
5. Did they remain in contact with him after the events of Trespasser?

Solas
1. Did your Inquisitor engage Solas academically with questions or were they uninterested in his experiences?
2. Did they agree with his opinions about spirits, that they were friends and trustworthy? If not, what did your inquisitor believe instead?
3. If your inquisitor was told they were “unlike others of their race” by Solas, how did they respond? Were they angry or grateful?
4. Did your Inquisitor think of Solas as Fen’harel or did they continue to think of him as their companion, a friend, if he was one to them, even after discovering who he was?
5. What did they choose, stop Solas or attempt to redeem him, and what motivated their choice? Fear? Love?

Sera
1. What did your Inquisitor think about the Red Jenny organization? Did they choose to be apart of it?
2. Did your Inquisitor see Sera as troublesome or simply fun-loving? Did they join in for her pranks?
3. How did your Inquisitor respond to the truth of Sera’s childhood (the cookie scene), if they received it? Did they empathize? 
4.  Did the Inquisitor attempt to stick up for the little people, like Sera, or did they have other goals? If so, what were their other goals?
5. Did your Inquisitor respond well to Sera and seek her company or avoid her?

Cole
1. Before Cole’s personal mission, how did your Inquisitor feel about him? Were they comfortable or uncomfortable around him?
2. What did your Inquisitor think of Cole’s ability to see into people’s thoughts? 
3. Was Cole made more human or more spirit and why did your Inquisitor choose what they did?
4. Did your Inquisitor become friends with Cole? Did Cole leave the Inquisition at any point, due to conflict with your Inquisitor? 
5. How would you describe your Inquisitor’s relationship with cole? Non-existent? Or a relationship like that of siblings?

Iron Bull
1. Was your Inquisitor wary of Bull upon learning he was a spy?
2. How did your Inquisitor react to the Chargers? Did they utilize them as allies or leave them to Bull?
3. Did your Inquisitor prefer to talk things out instead of force? Did they clash with Bull in that way?
4. Did they choose the chargers or the Qunari alliance? If they condemned the Chargers to death, how did they feel?
5. Was Iron Bull a valuable member of the Inquisition to your Inquisitor? Did they speak to him often?

Vivienne
1. Did your Inquisitor share Vivienne’s views on the circle of magi or disagree and why?
2. Did your inquisitor view The Game as worthwhile or did they detest court intrigue? How did that affect their relationship with Vivienne?
3. Did the feelings of your Inquisitor towards Vivienne change at all after completing her personal mission about Duke Bastian, if yes, in what way?
4. Was Vivienne ever considered a candidate for Divine by your Inquisitor? Why was, or why wasn’t, she made Divine by your Inquisitor?
5. How did your Inquisitor feel about Vivienne? Friends? Allies? Rivals?

Varric
1. Was your Inquisitor’s relationship with Varric like that of Varric’s relationship with Hawke? Was it better? Worse?
2. How did your Inquisitor feel about Varric’s situation with Bianca? Who did they decide was right about what Bianca did?
3. Did your Inquisitor approve of Varric’s stories? Did they read any of his books?
4. Did your Inquisitor try to dissuade Varric from believing that they were the herald of Andraste or did they encourage it?
5. Did your Inquisitor leave Hawke in the fade or save Hawke? How did that affect their relationship with Varric?

Dorian
1. How does your Inquisitor feel about Tevinter? Did Dorian change their feelings at all about the Imperium?
2. How did your Inquisitor feel about the Necromancy specialization? Were they intrigued? Disgusted?
3. Did your Inquisitor attempt to have Dorian speak to his father or not? Does your Inquisitor relate to Dorian in terms of struggles with family or sexuality?
4. Was Dorian a good companion for your Inquisitor? Was there any personality clash between them?
5. Did your Inquisitor agree with Dorian’s decision to return to Tevinter? How did they feel about his choice?

Cassandra
1. Was your Inquisitor Andrastian? Did their religious beliefs affect their relationship with Cassandra?
2. What was Cassandra’s role in the Inquisition to your Inquisitor? Was she a crucial friend/ally or an unnecessary soldier? 
3. Did your Inquisitor push Cassandra to rebuild or abandon the Seekers of Truth? Why?
4. Did your Inquisitor agree with Cassandra’s vision for the Chantry? Did they choose her as Divine?
5. Does your Inquisitor know all of her middle names?

Let me know if you need clarification on a question and feel free to reblog + ask!

Other Dragon Age Asks: Hawke + Companions, Warden + Companions, Inquisitor + Romances, Hawke + Romances, Inquisitor + Choices

Mass Effect Asks: Shepard + Companions (ME1), Shepard + Companions (ME2), Shepard + Companions (ME3)

ACOWAR SPOILERS

re all the shit people have been saying about “Tamlin has redeemed himself” “let’s all feel sorry for him now” I just… so strongly disagree with this romanticisation of an abuser.

Yes, Tamlin did some good things. He allied himself with the high lords, brought Rhys back, saved Feyre and Az’s skins. Yes he is a complex, nuanced character with the ability to do good and bad things. But this does not change the fact that he is an abusive misogynistic TWATHEAD. Everyone saying that they feel so sorry for Tamlin because he lost the person he loved, well I’m sorry but that is so WRONG. Yes Tamlin loved Feyre, but he loved her selfishly. He loved her in a way that required her to be who he wanted her to be, he loved her in a way that constrained her and hindered her growth. He loved her in a way that didn’t allow her the freedom to become the person she wanted to be.
Not to mention the disgusting misogynistic comments he made about Feyre in the high lords meeting. They aren’t even together anymore and he is STILL sexualising her.
Not to mention his cruelty towards Lucien, making him have sex with Ianthe on Calanmai, sneering at him and not giving him any respect or time to speak or explain when he saw him in Illyrian leathers at the final meeting.

Yes, he has himself suffered, but a tragic past does NOT justify becoming an abuser. Look at Feyre, Rhys, Mor, Azriel. They have all suffered forms of abuse themselves.
Feyre herself acknowledged that there is something fucked up about him: “One day, perhaps he would face those insidious fears, that destructive rage rotting away inside him.” This is in no way Feyre saying that Tamlin is a good person, this is her acknowledging that he isn’t, and hoping that someday he can overcome that and better himself and find peace.

Yes, Feyre wished him happiness, but that does not equal redemption, that does not forgive his abuse of our beloved protagonist. That is Feyre letting go of the pain he caused, the hatred and the darkness he created in her. That does not make his actions​ ok.

He broke her in ACOMAF, he wrecked her soul. She was struggling and she was lost and he turned a blind eye to her pain, her suffering, and he did not help her, did not comfort her. He constrained her, trapped her and caused more damage to an already broken, hurting shell of a person. And there is no excuse for that. He did not lose the person he loved, he drove her away, and while he may have bettered himself in some ways and done good things, he deserves everything that’s coming to him as a consequence of that abuse.

Take what you can, give nothing back

aka the Bellarke Pirate AU no one asked for. For maximum pirate-y-ness, pair with this song

[also on ao3]


While some folks row way up to heaven
I’m gonna sing The Pirate’s Gospel
I’m gonna sow these feet for dancin’
I’m gonna keep my eyes wide open

Clarke Griffin learned about the cruelty of life at the tender age of 18. After a childhood that was adventurous and perhaps a little unusual, but during which she had been loved unconditionally by her parents and sheltered to the best of their ability, Clarke found out, suddenly and brutally, that life rarely turned out as expected.

After all, she had not expected her father to decide, after years of sailing the world, mapping and exploring and marvelling at its wonders, to plant their family in Southern soil and expect them to take root there when she was barely eighteen, in a colonial trading port that was small enough to be considered provincial, but just big enough to come with the trappings of civilised life that Clarke quickly came to despise; parties and gossip and talk of dowries.

Nor had she expected that, shortly after the move, both her parents would go missing on a routine trip to a neighbouring island, and that she would be left all alone in the world. As the Governor informed her, his inquiries had yielded no family willing to take her in back home in England, but that he and his son would be willing to take her in as their ward, and to treat her like a daughter and a sister until such a time as a suitable husband could be found. Clarke had no doubt that it had not been her desperate situation, but rather her name, rank and fortune that had softened the heart of the island’s governor.

But given her dire circumstances and the fact that she had no way to access her inheritance without a man to do it for her, Clarke saw no choice but to stay with the Wallaces until she could come up with some kind of plan - or find some gullible man who fit the Wallaces’ criteria for a suitable husband while letting her do as she pleased. The deciding factors for determining such suitability were not specified to her, but Clarke had no doubt they would be more heavily determined by Governor Wallace’s wishes than by her own.

For now, she was altogether run aground.

And just when she had found a friend in her unwanted new home, someone to confide in and lean on, Clarke found that the Wallaces cruelty extended much further than she has previously assumed. For it was not just her the Wallaces seemed to want to make a profit off: She caught young Master Wallace speaking to one of the slave traders in the market while looking surreptitiously at her friend Wells. The son of a reputable merchant, Wells had been born free and received a proper education, and due to his knack for numbers, he was often at the house to help the Wallaces balance their books. Given the greedy look in the young Master’s eyes, however, Clarke had begun to fear that one day, her friend would enter the house a free man and leave it in chains - but that, needless to say, would not happen under her watch.

So Clarke devised a way for him to escape the island.

And as if the Good Lord wanted to tell her he approved of her decision, it was on the very day she made this decision that she first heard the rumours of the Persephone: a mysterious pirate ship that had evaded Governor Wallace’s ships for months as it attacked incoming merchant ships - preferably those that carried human cargo. “She’s chasin’ death“, the townspeople whispered about the mysterious ship, “and she’ll get a kiss for her trouble when she finds him.“

But for now, Captain Blake and his Persephone were still sailing, and still terrorising the crews of any ship in these waters.

And they, Clarke decided, were going to be the means to her salvation.

The first thing she did was procure allies: Such as the blacksmith’s apprentice, a spirited woman named Raven whom Wells had long harboured a tender admiration for – a feeling that seemed to be returned, judging by the woman’s face when she told her of Wallace’s plans. Gripping a half-cooled scabbard in one hand and a hammer in the other, she looked like she was about to storm up to the house on the hill and end Cage Wallace right this second.

Instead, Raven paused momentarily in her rhythmic hammering to look at her determinedly.

“I can get a message to Captain Blake, if you can make sure coming here will be worth his time.”

“I will.”

Raven looked at her doubtfully. “And a few pieces of pretty jewelry will not suffice.”

“I’m not going to give him jewelry,” Clarke declared, a little too loud perhaps for the quiet blacksmith’s shop, deserted save for a few dust motes dancing in the drowsy afternoon light. “I’m going to give him Port Arkadia.”

Keep reading

Home - a drabble.


(It’s cold and grey and I’m having soft feelings, so enjoy this little bit of cotton candy fluff.)

It wasn’t like it had been a bad day necessarily; just… Bland. You had had to drag yourself out of bed this morning, and the slate grey sky hadn’t helped to wake you up at all. Work had been slow-you’d spent more time on your phone than doing anything productive. It had been nice to talk to your boyfriend, but it had also made you anxious to get home.

You instantly felt a wave of peace once you opened the door, quickly dropping your things and seeking him out.

“Babe?” You call, and he emerges from the bedroom, sweats and a slouchy sweatshirt on.

“You’re home!” He says with a smile, opening his arms.

With a content sigh, you wrap your arms around his waist, laying your head on his chest as he holds you close, kissing the top of your head before tucking you under his chin.

‘yes… Now I’m home,’ you think, breathing in his cologne and closing your eyes.

Twelve Odd WWII Facts

You might enjoy this from Col D. G. Swinford, USMC, Retired and a history buff. You would really have to dig deep to get this kind of ringside seat to history:

1. The first German serviceman killed in WW II was killed by the Japanese ( China , 1937 ) , The first American serviceman killed was killed by the Russians ( Finland 1940 ) ; The highest ranking American killed was Lt Gen Lesley McNair, killed by the US Army Air Corps.

2. The youngest US serviceman was 12 year old: Calvin Graham, USN. He was wounded and given a Dishonorable Discharge for lying about his age. His benefits were later restored by act of Congress.

3. At the time of Pearl Harbor , the top US Navy command was called CINCUS (pronounced ‘sink us’ ) ; The shoulder patch of the US Army’s 45th Infantry division was the swastika. Hitler’s private train was named 'Amerika.’ All three were soon changed for PR purposes.

4. More US servicemen died in the Air Corps than the Marine Corps. While completing the required 30 missions, an airman’s chance of being killed was 71%.

5. Generally speaking, there was no such thing as an average fighter pilot. You were either an ace or a target. For instance, Japanese Ace Hiroyoshi Nishizawa shot down over 80 planes. He died while a passenger on a cargo plane.

6. It was a common practice on fighter planes to load every 5th round with a tracer round to aid in aiming. This was a big mistake. Tracers had different Ballistics so (at long range ) if your tracers were hitting the target 80% of your rounds were missing. Worse yet tracers instantly told your enemy he was under fire and from which direction. Worst of all was the practice of loading a string of tracers at the end of the belt to tell you that you were out of ammo. This was definitely not something you wanted to tell the enemy.
Units that stopped using tracers saw their success rate nearly double and their loss rate go down.

7. When allied armies reached the Rhine , the first thing men did was pee in it. This was pretty universal from the lowest private to Winston Churchill (who made a big show of it ) and Gen. Patton (who had himself photographed in the act ) .

8. German ME-264 bombers were capable of bombing New York City , but they decided it wasn’t worth the effort.

9. German submarine U-120 was sunk by a malfunctioning toilet.

10. Among the first 'Germans’ captured at Normandy were several Koreans.  They had been forced to fight for the Japanese Army until they were captured by the Russians and forced to fight for the Russian Army until they were captured by the Germans and forced to fight for the German Army until they were captured by the US Army.

11. Following a massive naval bombardment, 35,000 United States and Canadian troops stormed ashore at Kiska, in the Aleutian Islands . 21 troops were killed in the assault on the island… It could have been worse if there had actually been any Japanese on the island.

12. The last marine killed in WW2 was killed by a can of spam. He was on the ground as a POW in Japan when rescue flights dropping food and supplies came over, the package came apart in the air and a stray can of spam hit him and killed him.