I hate being upset. I hate knowing that there is some things I can never fix and that makes me upset. I guess I am just in this giant cycle of upset and I will never get out until I can fix the world. I guess that makes me a advocate for peace or something but it really doesn’t. I just want everything to be right and the “utopia” in my head is perfect, for me.
I learned today that not everything you like, someone else is. So this perfect world, this “utopia,” is just a great ideal that is different for each person. There is no way perfect is the same for two people. Just like two people are never the same, may look alike, but never the same. So how do you know if this “utopia” will work for everyone and what you are really working for is worth the struggle? You don’t and that is what really makes me angry. Why can’t perfect be accessible? Why can’t we all be the same? Why must it be so hard for some but so easy for others?
The list could go on forever and ever. In the end depression gets the best of me and I curl up in my bed and pray for the constant loathing to stop. The actual effect of the world on me is baffling. I act like I don’t care but all I really want is this “utopia.” This perfect world that will never happen and no one will agree on. I guess the real question is, what’s your utopia? Why is it not capable of being processed? Why do you even bother thinking of these things?
I guess I will just be upset until I find the answer to my ever so long battle with my thoughts
The Boy With Many Questions And Not Enough Answers