alls i know is he looked terrible and now we're going to fix that!

hepalien  asked:

Hey Mollyhall, the world really sucks today. Could you please tell us a story?

hey, beautiful moonbird. i know that yesterday was pretty brutal, and i know that for a lot of people today isn’t going to be much better. sometimes the world is like you looked under your bed and found a tin of rotted, moldy christmas cookies that your grandma gave you no less than five years ago and there’s a whole ecosystem in it.

on those days you’re like, “wow!!!!! i don’t want these cookies at all!!!!! there’s nothing good about these cookies and i hate them!!!!!” and i get that. that’s normal. the thing to try to remember is that the cookies were made with love, and the tin is washable. we can make new cookies to put in the tin. i’ll make them with you. they’ll be rainbow colored.

anyway, here’s a brief story about a time that i had to emergency land with my brother in an airplane.

so before i moved in with my mom, my brother and i would shuttle back and forth from my dad’s house in massachusetts to my mom’s in virginia. we’d fly as unaccompanied minors, which, if you don’t know, is the absolute best way to fly and if i could convincingly play a 10-year-old i’d do it every time. as an unaccompanied minor you are the most important person on the plane, which suited both my constant need for attention and inability to complete very simple tasks without firm guidance. sometimes the captain comes out to talk to you and gives you a sweet pin with wings on it. you get to board before everybody else, which is probably the feature i miss most about no longer being young and vulnerable.

my brother and i are very different people, by the way. i can be best described as “a corgi that is always furious when you aren’t feeding or petting it,” and he’s more of, like, a lizard that wants to be left alone and wishes people would never look at or notice it.

  • “the way you talk about your brother did not prepare me for him being hot,” is something a friend said to me once, which, first of all, that’s a Wrong And Bad thing to say, but also probably very fair considering i just called him a lizard.
  • i just mean, you know. temperamentally.

on these plane rides i would always get out of my seat as soon as we were allowed to and wander up and down the aisles, talking to people. i truly believed that everyone wanted to talk to me, The Cool Kid With The Wings Pin. in hindsight, i am very sure that everyone one of those gentle souls wanted to be left alone to read their john grisham novel, but they were all sweet to me regardless.

all of this is basically to tell you that once, my brother and i were flying from my dad’s to my mom’s–or maybe from my mom’s back to my dad’s?–when the plane, like, malfunctioned. now, i was a wee little butterball so nobody on the plane thought to sit down and explain to me exactly what was wrong, but i remember that the plane started to shake really badly.

the pilot did that Calm Voice Of Authority thing that pilots and headmasters do where he said, “we’re going to have to emergency land at a different airport*, everybody stay chill,” in the same tone of voice you’d ask someone to pass you the salt. 

  • *for some reason, i think the different airport was in connecticut?

my brother, who was born a 90-year-old stand up citizen with the tax code memorized, immediately began to try to comfort me. but i was just a Smol Bean who had not yet been touched by death and didn’t understand the concept of mortality, so i fully Did Not understand why he was being so nice.

  • “it’s okay, molly. we’re going to land and they’ll fix the plane and it’ll all be fine.”
  • “yeah, i know, that’s what the pilot just said.”
  • “there’s nothing to be afraid of.”
  • “of course there isn’t, nothing bad has ever happened to me and nothing bad will ever happen to me because i’m Me and that’s not how the world works.”
  • “we’re going to make it home tonight.”
  • “UNLESS we get to stay at a HOTEL by OURSELVES!!!”
  • “no, that’s–that’s not…..okay.”

i remember that i kept trying to unbuckle my seatbelt so i could get a better look at the window, and my poor brother had to very patiently hold my hands away from the buckle to be like, “FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE PLEASE LISTEN TO THE FIGURES OF AUTHORITY AND DON’T UNDO IT. DO NOT.”

as the plane started to descend, the shaking ratcheted up. like, we went from rocking chair to shake weight in the span of a minute. at this point, all the passengers on the plane are freaking out. everyone was doing that Terrified Adult thing where they were pretending not to be scared by loudly talking to one another about the thing they were scared about.

  • “haha! this plane sure is rattling, isn’t it, nancy?”
  • “it sure is todd!!!!! it’s like we’re in a trashbin rolling down stairs to our deaths!!!”
  • “haha nancy!!!!!!”
  • “haha todd!!!!”

meanwhile, Smol Bean Mozzy thought she was on a terribly fun rollercoaster in the sky and was completely unperturbed by what may have been very real danger. my poor brother,  however, was swept into the hysteria of the woman between me and the window, an older woman. i kind of think she was wearing a really horribly colored shawl, but i can’t #confirm that because i was very young and who knows where the hell that lady is these days.

“the truth is, if we really go down, there’s very little chance of surviving this close to the front of the plane,” she told my brother, almost preternaturally calm. i think she had accepted that death was probably coming. “they tell you to put your seat back up but with where we’re sitting we’ll be the first to go.” 

“um,” said my brother.

  • i want to say up front that we were not crash landing. nobody worry. we were emergency landing for a reason i forget, but very probably it wasn’t actually a life-or-death situation except that every tiny mishap on an airplane FEELS like a life-or-death situation because you are in an airplane.
  • but don’t worry.
  • we were fine.

“we could try getting into crash position,” the old lady suggested, bending in her seat and putting her head between her knees. 

good to know at least SOMEONE is listening to the safety announcements, eh, flight attendants of the world?

“you and your sister should do this too,” she told my brother. “like i said, it probably won’t help, but you never know.”

“oh…..kay,” said my brother, who was young enough to assume that adults were always right but old enough to feel like he was getting some weird advice. 

he got into impact position and made me do it, too. i mean, i was pretty much that gif of elmo on the toilet at this point, fully unaware of the gravity of the situation.

  • “TRALALA I LOVE FLYING AND MILKSHAKES!” - me, while hurtling toward the earth

“these crash landing instructions are probably just to comfort us,” said the Old Woman Ready For Death, blandly. “like putting t-shirts on dogs during thunderstorms. i’ve never understood that, have you?”

“do you think we can get ROOM SERVICE in the hotel room we’re gonna have all to OURSELVES?” i asked, my voice muffled from being between my knees.

“I DON’T KNOW HOW TO ANSWER ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS,” said my brother, distressed and folded in half like an airborne soft taco.

for those of you wondering, we didn’t get our own hotel room. we stopped for like two hours, reboarded, and flew home, where i explained lividly to my father that we didn’t even get FREE FOOD and my poor brother had a quiet meltdown in the backseat, which actually sums up both our personalities back then pretty well.

  • molls ofgeo: primarily concerned about food since 1991.

anyway, for a while after that my brother was NOT a big fan of flying. i never really understood why, because all my memories were of being treated like the Queen of England as an unaccompanied minor, but having just told this story, in hindsight……… seems……….pretty obvious.

like, pretty glaringly obvious, actually.

Spiderman 3 (2007 Movie): Sentence Starters
  • "Whatever comes our way, whatever battle we have raging inside us, we always have a choice."
  • "It's the choices that make us who we are, and we can always choose to do what's right."
  • "You gonna kill me like you killed my father?"
  • "No. He despised you. You were an embarrassment to him."
  • "You took him from me. He loved me."
  • "I'm done trying to convince you."
  • "You came."
  • "We'll get you through this."
  • "I never should have hurt you... said those things."
  • "You're my friend."
  • "A couple of minutes ago wouldn't have been so bad either."
  • "Oh, my. What happened?"
  • "Looks like just in the nick of time."
  • "I don't think it's for us to say whether a person deserves to live or die."
  • "Before you know it, turn us into something ugly."
  • "Did you ever propose?"
  • "You said a husband's gotta put his wife before himself."
  • "I'm not ready."
  • "I hurt her."
  • "Well, you start by doing the hardest thing: You forgive yourself."
  • "I know what it feels like. It feels good. The power. Everything. But you'll lose yourself. It'll destroy you. Let it go."
  • "I like being bad. It makes me happy."
  • "If you know what I'm talking about!"
  • "Back then, nothing seemed to go right for me."
  • "People really like me."
  • "Stings doesn't it?"
  • "I protected you in high school. Now I'm gonna kick your little ass."
  • "You're trash."
  • "Your picture's a fake."
  • "You want forgiveness? Get religion."
  • "You are such a boy scout."
  • "We're just horsing around."
  • "I'm begging you. If you do this, I will lose everything. There's not a paper in town that will hire me."
  • "Show this to your editor."
  • "I want him dead too."
  • "Look, I want to kill the spider, you wanna kill the spider. Together, he doesn't stand a chance. Interested?"
  • "End of the line."
  • "Your wife told me to tell you to watch the anger."
  • "Time to take your pill."
  • "Hey. I'm the new guy."
  • "Um, yeah, look, just between you and me, guys kind of an amateur."
  • "From now on, I am gonna be taking shots of you for the Bugle."
  • "But you don't have to worry about that, buddy."
  • "You want a staff job, and you want a staff job, anybody care about what I want?"
  • "Shut up. Get out."
  • "Listen to me! I didn't kill your father!"
  • "You knew this was coming!"
  • "He was trying to kill me! He killed himself!"
  • "I didn't want this. But I had no choice."
  • "We always have a choice."
  • "I needed money."
  • "Why don't you just put down the gun and go home?"
  • "I realize now he was just trying to help me."
  • "I did a terrible thing to you."
  • "I spent a lot of nights wishing I could take it back."
  • "I didn't choose to be this."
  • "I'm not asking you to forgive me. I just want you to understand."
  • "How's the pie?"
  • "I'm just here to talk to you, beautiful!"
  • "Just a little something called 'Nice And Easy', what's on you?"
  • "I need a photographer."
  • "A hundred bucks?"
  • "Film's extra."
  • "Shazam!"
  • "That was OUR kiss!"
  • "It's a funny feeling, not knowing who you are."
  • "Never wound what you can't kill."
  • "Its a free country. Not a rent-free country."
  • "You will get your rent when you fix this DAM DOOR!"
  • "We can find a way to settle this."
  • "You're so right. I'm thinking... humiliation. Kind of like how you humiliated me. Do you remember? Do you remember what you did to me? You made me lose my girl. Now I'm gonna make you lose yours."
  • "How's that sound, tiger?"
  • "An orange?"
  • "I'm really sorry for what happened earlier. I shouldn't have yelled about that door. It was nothing to be angry about."
  • "This is none of your business."
  • "Do you want to push me away?"
  • "Push you away? Why would I want to push you away... I love you!"
  • "They're gonna kill us both."
  • "Your shots are so good."
  • "You don't deserve my help."
  • "Do I have any girlfriends?"
  • "This thing got any more?"
  • "She doesn't know what you are."
  • "Tell me you love me?"
  • "I know you're trying to defend your fathers' honor, but there is no question that he died by his own hand."
  • "What does it matter to you, anyway?"
  • "Hate those things!"
  • "Take your hands off me."
  • "I live in the presence of great truth."
  • "I promise I'll make you healthy again. Whatever it takes, I'll get the money."
  • "I'm not a bad person. Just had bad luck."
  • "They're my best friends... I'd give my life for them."
  • "Was I really good? I was so nervous. My knees were shaking."
  • "It's all about diffusion."
  • "The applause wasn't very loud."
  • "You are such a nerd."
  • "Where do these guys COME from?"
  • "You've taken your eye off the ball."
  • "You know, I guess one person really can make a difference."
  • "It has the characteristics of a symbiote, which needs to bond to a host in order to survive. And once it binds... it can be hard to UNbind."
  • "I love romance. I am French."
  • "You fired him."
  • "I could use some help over here!"
  • "I guess you haven't heard. I'm the sheriff around these parts!"
  • "This could be a tragic day for the people of New York."
  • "It's hard to believe what's happening. The brutality of it. I - I don't know how he can take anymore."
  • "Everybody needs help sometimes."
  • "He's a good boy. He must be in some kind of trouble."
  • "What about that amazing... amazing night that we had?"
  • "We had a coffee."
  • "Make him suffer, make him wish he were dead. First, we attack his heart!"
  • "There seems to be some kind of activity in the web."
Possible scenarios to season 4: part 1
  • we are in a giant hall. marble walls, chandeliers, tall vaulted ceiling. The fancy crowd is either sitting at small tables or standing and chatting, holding drinks. The women in luxury dresses. the men in elegant suits. There's a stage standing after the crowd and on it there's a band playing classical music.
  • we cut from the crowd and are viewing from behind a fancy buffet, at the backs of two men standing in front of it. One is tall with black curls and an impressive posture, the other is shorter with light brown hair.
  • we cut to their fronts and encounter Sherlock Holmes and John Watson, both in tuxes and bow ties.
  • John: look as all these women!
  • Sherlock: careful John, you're a married man.
  • John: oh shut up. How the hell are we going to find this woman? she could be anyone!
  • Sherlock: well she's certainly not that bearded man i the blue suit. unless she's really good...
  • John: *anxiously fixes his tie* why did Mycroft have to send us here as waiters? couldn't he give us fake IDs or... a special card or something
  • Sherlock: I asked him to.
  • John: why?
  • Sherlock: It's essential for my plan.
  • John: and in what point are you going to let me in that plan?
  • Sherlock: now seems like an appropriate time. (raises his look, observing the crowd in concentration) The woman we're looking for...
  • Mycroft: we were informed of the existence of a woman. we suspect she's working for the Swiss, but we can't know for sure and we're not interested in any cooperation. we suspect she's holding information our best agents weren't able to find.
  • Sherlock: you really have to start filtering your agents better, they're terrible.
  • Mycroft: she has no idea the information she's holding is valuable. No one knows but us. and we'd like to keep it that way.
  • Sherlock: so you want me to talk to her.
  • John: how? you don't even know who she is.
  • Mycroft: we know she's be attending a gala next week. find her. find out what she knows. without reveling any connection to the British government. this is crucial.
  • Sherlock: There are people here who are far to known to be a Swiss secret agents, so that goes. This woman can't be married or have children or pets, and she's probably not over 50, so that eliminates some more...
  • *the crowd from Sherlock's point of view. people disappear as he excludes them*
  • John: No, you can't possibly narrow it all down.
  • Sherlock: Not all of it, probably, but most. You may have noticed that I've been studding dress catalogs lately?
  • John: oh yeah, I though you were developing a new interest.
  • Sherlock: an undercover agent could never afford to buy an expensive dress, While most women in these sort of events are dying to show off their wealth. I've memorized catalogs of all top designers in fashion. that woman over there?
  • *cut to woman in a white dress with flowers pattern*
  • Sherlock: Dior, 10,000 dollars. No way it could be her. same applies for 20 other woman in this room.
  • *a major amount of women vanishes from the crowd*
  • John: Sherlock, there's no need to make excuses. If you want to look at dresses, I won't judge you.
  • Sherlock: Shut up. and now for some final adjustments...
  • *captions appear over the remain women. "OCD nail biter" - gone. "desperately in love with an older man" - gone. "chronic back problems" - gone. more and more women pop out of the crowd*
  • Sherlock: we are down to four options.
  • *four women, in different locations around the hall, remain frozen mid-action*
  • Sherlock: time to act.
  • John: Okay, what do we do?
  • Sherlock: *takes the champagne salver from the table and hands it to confused John, and then takes the shrimps salver* I need you to go over to these two women, blonde-in-blue-dress in the center, and the one in the black dress and long hair. I'll go to the other two.
  • John: what, and - offer them a drink?
  • Sherlock: yes. and look closely. try to see if any of them acts suspicious in any way. we'll meet back here with our findings.
  • John: wait - "act suspicious" ? what do you mean?
  • Sherlock: anything strange. even the slightest gesture.
  • John: How the hell am I supposed to know your definition of strange?
  • Sherlock: you'll know it when you see it. Now go, quick!
  • *Sherlock rashes off before John can say anything. frustrated, John sighs then starts walking towards the first woman, carefully trying to balance the salver in his hands*
  • John: *mutters* of course he had to give me the harder one...
  • *as he reaches the woman, who had just had a laugh with the the man she was talking to, she turns around and notices him*
  • John: fancy a drink?
  • woman: oh, thank you! *takes a glass from the salver and turns back to continue her conversation*
  • *John continues to walk towards the woman in the black dress, with a mane of wavy dark hair that goes down her waist. The woman is standing with her back to him, so he doesn't see her face*
  • John: would you like a drink?
  • *The woman doesn't answer. then, without making the slightest turn towards him, she slowly sands out her hand and leave it hanging, awaiting.
  • John: *tensed, places a glass in her hand. still not saying a word, the woman gently rests her hand back down.
  • nervous, John turns back and spots Sherlock at the table. He hurries to get there, relieved to put down the salver.*
  • Sherlock: *eagerly* did you find anything?
  • John: *nods* it's the one in the black dress. She didn't say a word. she didn't even move, I couldn't see her face.
  • Sherlock: Perfect. *quirky smile* now, you wait here. I'm going to escort her out of the room, wait two minutes then follow me.
  • *imperturbable, Sherlock starts pacing slowly over to the woman. It appears she doesn't notice, but something in her back stiffens. then, as Sherlock gets closer, she starts walking away, with measured steps, towards the exit.
  • Sherlock picks up his pace, almost unnoticeably, but not to the woman, who switches to a fast walk. John realizes something is wrong. Then she begins to run and time slows down, as her hand let go of the champagne glass and the liquid seems to float out in the air.
  • the glass shatters on the ground, and time turns back to normal as Sherlock bursts out running, followed immediately by John. People gasp and turn their heads as the three rush through the crowd. "excuse me," John automatically says as he pushes people away, trying to reach Sherlock and the woman, but they've already stormed out of the hall doors.*
  • *after chasing her through a few corridors Sherlock finally reaches the woman. He grabs her by the shoulder and turns her around.
  • Irene Adler: Hello mister Holmes.
  • *Sherlock flinches as he meets the face looking back at him. panting from the chase, he stares at Irene with concealed shock, agitated, as Irene stares back, her face showing the same mix of painful feelings.*
  • *theme music starts playing*.
Hetalia- Axis Powers {Sentence Starters}
  • "You need to learn to deal with and accept your failures."
  • "Now you will tell us everything you know, or else."
  • "I hate you and your ass face."
  • "Hey, do you know where the coat I left hanging here went to?"
  • "I'll tell you everything I know."
  • "Man up or I'll beat you with my peace prize!"
  • "I would like for you to marry me."
  • "Don't you even care if I die?! Come on, help me!"
  • "They'll stop fighting if you go over and step in."
  • "Wow. Would you look at the time?"
  • "I can't take all this pressure!"
  • "PASTA~!"
  • "Hmmm, no way I'm eating this crap."
  • "I'm going to kill you until you are dead!"
  • "You should really try keeping your mouth more closed."
  • "I will punch you in the throat!"
  • "There's plenty of snow on the ground. It'll break my fall because it's soft."
  • "Right, what the hell is wrong with you?!"
  • "Take off those silly clothes, or I'll take them off for you!"
  • "I will now express my anger through the piano."
  • "We're really very different, aren't we?"
  • "We can fix anything with enough meetings and photo ops."
  • "Damn, I should have know it was a trap."
  • "Marry me, marry me, marry me, marry me, marry me!"
  • "Let's hit him violently and get what we can out of him."
  • "It's terrible? You think my food bland?"
  • "He's such a pain, let's put him in jail or something."
  • "Dude, I even SMELL like a hero, check it!"
  • "I know I'm not strong, but I'm cute!"
  • "They said they sent me back because I was to much work!"
  • "You steal food whenever I turn my back!"
  • "Please don't kill me, please!"
  • "So, how are those lessons coming along?"
  • "This dude is lame. Maybe we should make him work."

anonymous asked:

Hey I'm sorry to bother you again,but I'm really enjoying this "discussion" about Clarke and Lexa's characters. I'm curious, how do you think Clarke should have dealt with her people this season? Because I'm torn; her loyalty to her people is one of her core character traits, but I can't reconcile that with the fact that the sky people have some massive colonialist undertones and are never punished. And I love Clarke, but we're on s3 and it still looks like she values grounders life less

you know what earlier i said i thought they did clarke’s story right this season but i just took a few minutes to think about it and im aggressively taking that back

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