*Hello! this fanfic will be in chapters. It will follow strictly the tv show plot. every chapter will have the name of the episodes which is inspired by. I’ll post one chapter a week. It’s all new to me. hope you’ll enjoy.*
NOT TOMORROW YET
Y/N is held hostage by the saviours. who is she ? what have she done? where’s she from? what kind of relationship she have with Negan? what he want from her? what does that have to do with Daryl,Alexandria and Hilltop? want to know? keep reading.
WARNING: mention of rape
It hurts. Everythings hurts.
I was expecting everything but this. Oh God, not this.
they were gone. Everyone was gone. I thought it was the end but no. I was fucking wrong. There is always more.
I was on he floor in a fetal position. My hands were gripping my hairs,hard. My eyes red and puffed.
I cried so much,I thought my eyes would pop out of my head.
I was also biting hard on my already split lip.
What the fuck was even normal breathing at this point? I felt as I had a huge fucking rock shoved down my throat.
How in the fuck I was een still alive?
How many times have I ever asked myself that?
-OH FUCK! Tell me you’re fucking kidding! tell me you’re kidding! we are all goin’ to fucking die. All that bitch fault!
- Calm the fuck dow. She’ll never tell him shit after all he did. Besides, she doesn’t even look like she’ll eer talk again… ahahahah
I hear the door slam open, letting in a little light.
-Listen to me,you girl, you shut the fuck up, you don’t tell shit. Got me?
The moment they walk in, I instictly go stiffer than before, make myself even smaller, biting ang gripping at my self tighter.
I let out a whimper. I couldn’t talk, I just couldn’t. So,instead, i nodded.
-Good, ‘cause he’s coming here and he’s going to kill you. I thought we would have to do it but nope! So shut up. It’s going to end soon.
And they left,again.
Now, there’s noone in this place besides me and the guy who yelled at me before. The other run away, back to his outpost.
- Allright,where’s my doll? I gotta talk to her!- Negan say in a high tone, making sure his entrence is noiced.
-Hi,Negan. You don’t have to. I can kill her for you! No need to go to her.-
-Shut the fuck up,moron, I just said that I have o talk to her. Are you deaf?-
-Sorry,Negan She’s always in the same spot,Sir.-
-I know,dumbass. It was a retorical question. Jeez,calm the fuck down.-
I heard them talk, still crawl up on the floor.
I wasn’t even processing what they were saying, my mind flashed with imagines of death and what just happend to me. I tried to blocked everything out, to feel nothing,but with no success.
The door shut open again, but this time it wasn’t slammed, and he come in.
I hear his footstep because my eyes are still close. I was still trying to shut my mind closed, to stop shaking, to not let my heart explode.
-DOLL! WHAT THE FUCK! what the fuck happend to you?- Negan duck down next to me.
He tried to put a hand on my shoulder bu I immediatelly turn on my back and crowl evenn further into the corner of the room, until my back hit the wall.
With one arm, I embrace my knees, while I trow the oher beetween me and him, signalim him not to come closer.
Shaking body, short breath, messy hairs covering my face. My face red and puffy for all the crying.
And he did that, he stopped where he was.
He still had that, that look of concerned.
With even softer voice he repeat - Girl, relax. what happend? tell me.-
I was jumping from an emotion to the other since that morning. I was scared but in a zombie apocalypse it’s the “everyday base emotion”, like a defaul emotion. But that day I wasn’t scared for me, but for my group.
I felt powerless, hopeless,defeat,done.
Then,they came in and I felt petrified,alone,disgusted.
And now,now this. I was totally done, I flipped.
-What the fuck do you still want from me you fucking asshole! Fucking kill me already. You killed them all! All of them! all of my group. You just killed my dad, what else do you still want from me? Do you want to leave me again to your men? Tell me what you still want from me. Kill me,fucking kill me! They’re all dead!-
He’s expression changed when I mentioned his men, it was a mix of disgust and anger.
-What my men have done to you,Y/N?- his voice was slightly raised,dead serious.
He never called me by my name.
I started laughing and crying all togheter.
I couldn’t take any shit anymore. There wasn’t a reason anymore.
I recover myself quick. I lean my head to the wall.
- you fucking asshole. Just end me already. You have to.-
I narrow my eyes, if I could have, i would have jump on him, on everyone there. Kill ‘em all with bare hands.
But I couldn’t. I had no strenght left.
- What do you think,you prick? They thought you would have ordered them to kill me right after you had killed all my group. They had fun with me,asshole-
My voice crack after I mention my group and at the end I was crying again. What I just told him woke all the hurt in my body,all the bruises.all the scratches. Everything.
I make myself even smaller,hands covering my face,body shaking. I really couldn’t take anything, anymore. I had been too strong for too long.
I knew I was dead the moment they had captured me, but I thought I was safe from one thing. One thing only.
That definally broke me
He moved his hand to cover his face.
Negan sit down, watching me. He was looking at my slightly torn clothes.
- You just tell me who they are,Y/N. You tell me who they are and I kill ‘em. I’ll do it.-
-Go to hell,asshole- I stop crying, rise up my head and again, watch him dead in the eyes.
Suddently the door opened again.
One of them enter and I swear my heart stopped for a second. I jump in my spot, eyes opend in terror.
-Negan,I…- He stop,fear in his eyes.
Negan was watching him with pure hate, he understood who he was the moment I had sight and jumped.
That disgusting man was backing away towards the door.
-Negan, I can, I can expla– He didn’t finished, he couldn’t. Negan swung Lucille over and over again against his head.
All I can do is to watch.
You never get used to the sound of bones crushing.
Negan was screaming at his dying body while hitting him with more force every time more disgusted.
-ARAT!- he shout - burn this mess-
She come in and before dragging the body away, she whisper something in Negan’s ear.
-GODDAMMIT,what the fuck! For real, how it his even possible?-
He was about to leave, but before, he turn to me and say:
- I gotta go know. Shit hit the fan. Bu I was here to tell you something. We found them,but we didn’t kill them all, only who was left. The walkers had done the most.-
My head rise as quick as I can to stare at him with wide eyes.
-Yes,Doll. The walkers came before us. No, I’m not sorry for that,I was going to kill ‘em anyway. Bu you,I’m not going to kill you. I wasn’t before, I won’t now. I gotta go but you still need to tell me who else - his voice break - who where the others. Saviours will bring you to the Sanctuary now. You will have some options. You earn that.-
And with that he was gone.
Thank you if you made it to the end. Hope it wasn’t too harsh. Or shitty. Or both.
I am tagging blogs that I love and read all the times. If it bothers you I’ll untagged you. If you want to be tagged in the following chapters,let me know.
I probably forgot someone.
English is not my mother tounge so I’ll appreciate any grammar (or others) correction.