allowed to be angry

Seventeen things you have to learn for yourself
as a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Pansexual
or otherwise Queer youth
by the time you are seventeen.

One is that the first Pride was a riot
I don’t mean that it was full of laughter, or that it was some grand party
where everyone spiraled up to dance among the stars
because the only glittering that night
was broken glass on cobblestones.
The first Pride was a riot
on the backstreets of New York
and they never tell us
that night
we won.
The only protest
in a decade full of turmoil
where the cops had to hide out in the bar they raided
and run from shouting rioters
who fought to reclaim the only patch of ground they had ever claimed as theirs
the first Pride was a riot,

and two, around the same time it took place
it was a debated topic in the gay community
whether or not they should say
that they weren’t mentally ill

which, three, homosexuality was removed
from the American Psychiatric Association’s list of mental illnesses
in 1974
congratulations
all it took was a vote to declare that, whoops, we were never mentally ill

except, four, there are still teenagers being tortured today
in what some dare blaspheme as “therapy”
used to destroy their self-identity
in the hopes of making them normal.
except, four, the queer community still carries overwhelmingly high rates for poverty and homelessness and depression.

Did you know that, five,
over half the children forced into conversion therapy
commit suicide?

And six, that lesbians
were regarded as “hangers-on”
of the movement
by much of the gay community
before the AIDS crisis?

Because it turns out, seven can wear a rainbow on your shirt
and still be a bigot.
There are people who stick rainbows in their ears
or wear them on their fingers
or slap them across their cheeks in badges of defiance
and will still hate you for the color of your skin
or the size of your thighs
or your gender
or the way you like to kiss two or more genders
or none of the above.
Don’t ask me why this happens
it just does
I think it might be that we’ve all been taught to hate ourselves
for so damn long
that we don’t understand what to do
in a space with no hate.
Or maybe it’s that the space seems too small, because

eight, there are people who will tell you that you are not enough
that you do not reach the magical benchmark of “gay enough” to pass through the gate even
especially
when you are some flavor of the rainbow other than straight-out gay.
eight, this is bullshit
eight, those people are bullshit.
eight, you are enough.
eight, there is always enough room.

nine, there is no overarching “homosexual agenda”
sorry
we’re all kind of flailing along in here trying to figure out some way to make it work
when most of us have nothing in common
except that society looked at us in different ways and decided we didn’t fit
so we could all go be misfits together
under one big rainbow flag

but just so you know, ten, there are plenty of other flags
there is one for you, I promise

and eleven, misfits may not all need the same things
but we need to stick together, especially in a world where

twelve—refer to point seven—there are lesbians who hate other lesbians
for having the audacity to be born in a body
that everyone looked at and saw “boy”
which brings me to

thirteen, there is so much to understand.

fourteen, you need to understand
because we need to stick together
and to stick together we do not have to be the same but we do have to understand
and it will be hard because
you were probably thrown into this world with no warning because

fifteen, being queer is not genetic and we are not unique among minorities
in that we collect our heritage through broken bits of history and research in a world constantly working to make those misfit bits go away
but we are unique in that when we try to prove our legacy
we can be laughed down
or re-erased
or flat out ignored
but I swear to you
you have a history as old as Alexander the Great
as beautiful as Sappho
as dignified as Abraham Lincoln
and as proud as Eleanor Roosevelt.

But even with that behind us
sixteen,
they have always watched us die.
because even though the bystander effect is bullshit, sixteen
Kitty Genovese was a lesbian, sixteen
Ronald Reagan is a mass murderer, sixteen
our children, your brothers and sisters and  siblings of all stripes and all colors and sexualities and genders are being murdered
through neglect
and rejection
and hate.

Sixteen, there is an entire generation of gay and bisexual men
missing from history
because the government chose to do nothing
when they were dying by the thousands.
sixteen, we died from the disease and died from going back into the closet and died for staying there and died for coming out,
sixteen, they laughed at us because they believed god was punishing us for daring to love,
sixteen, ashes of your forerunners rest on the lawn of the White House because
SIXTEEN, THEY HAVE ALWAYS WATCHED US DIE.

SEVENTEEN
you are allowed
to be angry.
You do not have to be one of the nice gays
or one of the nice trans people
or sweet or kind or educate the rest of the world in something less than a yell
you are allowed to be so furious it scalds your bones
at the way we are forgotten
and passed over
at the way, as soon as June becomes July
we are expected
to go back to dying in silence
and mourning our dead
and kissing all alone
when no one can be offended
at the sight of us.
You are allowed to be angry
and scream down the stars
to shatter like broken glass at your feet
because you know what?
The first Pride
was a riot.

—  October 11
  • Kara Danvers: Has two entire episodes dealing with the fact that she has massive issues with barely repressed anger, has an entire rage warehouse ,goes into several highly emotional angry outbursts, literally beats several of her opponents in pure rage,has more material dedicated to her anger then any other hero with the exception of the Hulk, outright states how much she loathes the fact that she isn't allowed to get angry
  • Some Supergirl "fans" : What he hell? Kara was angry at James and Winn? What is this OOC bullshit? Kara doesn't do anger. She is a puppy

okay, the reason that I get mad and antsy about posts that are like “despite what tumblbllblblbllblblr says you can like people who are problematic :)” is that God, “problematic” is the most vague wimpy bullshit baby umbrella term in the entire world

if my friend says “he’s my problematic fav ^_^” i instantly get worried because “problematic” can mean literally ANYTHING from “said something mildly insenstive about a political issue” to “voices distaste about those gosh dang horrible Latinos coming to steal American jobs” to “sexually harassed and groped his underage fans.” what did he do? who cares! it’s insignificant enough to just shove under a single bland inoffensive word and never touch it again, i guess

you’re allowed to like famous people (or like, shows or video games or whatever) that have flaws, but you can’t just hide bad things under a single tidy little word so can absolve yourself of any guilt you get over supporting a guy who’s beaten his lover or who’s whined about how there’s no more racism in America.

stop cooing to yourself and your followers that it’s okay to like ~problematic~ things, we GET it,
nobody’s perfect, so let’s move past that. grow a fucking spine and say words like “sexist” or “bigoted” outloud. and not just in a watered down “yeah she said some bad things :(” kind of way, get MEAN about! “yeah i like her work a lot, but i hate all that bullshit racist stuff she says on her Twitter” you’re allowed to like something while being loud, vocal, and angry about how much you hate the bad parts. be mean, be unpleasant, but never just be the person who gives a pass to all the bullshit that assholes can get away with in this world just because you don’t want to feel bad for liking a tv show or celebrity

Queer kids are not allowed to be kids.

They aren’t allowed to get angry when people bully them because by reacting people believe they justify the abuse. They are forced to deal with adult situations often without support from any of the actual adults around them. When they look for leaders in their community they often find no one who is like them and are left with only scraps of representation in media to look to. And they don’t have the support system they deserve, the support system heterosexual/romantic cisgender kids are given without question. They are forced to hide parts of themselves from their family members and we pretend that it is normal. And if they decide to discuss that particular part of their identity it is picked apart and examined often before the kid even knows how to process it themselves. Their own identities is branded as “too adult” for them when it is not their identities that is too adult, but how we treat them once we are informed of these parts of their identities.

Queer kids deserve so much better than they are given. 

Allow me to preface this by saying I do not get angry easily.

I don’t care if people dislike kpop artists, I care that they disrespect them.

These boys and girls have gone through more crap to get to where they are, and have put up with so much. If anything, even if you don’t like them, you will respect them.

Allow me to just point to one example, that of Min Yoongi. (There are many I can pull out of my hat. Amber, Jackson, Namjoon, most of EXO, I could go on. But Yoongi’s story is one of my favorites.)

His parents didn’t approve of his dream to become a musician, and if you don’t know about Asian culture, parental approval is a huge thing. They burned his music, and wouldn’t pay for his lessons.

Min Yoongi worked part time jobs delivering so he could get music lessons. He injured his shoulder in the process, and heaven only knows how his parents reacted.

Oh, he has depression and social anxiety as well. His parents took him to a psychiatrist and then told him they didn’t know who he was anymore. He didn’t even know who he was. He hid himself away to make his family happy and tried to do what they wanted, but he was dying on the inside. He would hide in the bathroom and cry.

Did this stop when he became a trainee? No. His depression and social anxiety were still there, and his parents still didn’t approve. He doesn’t speak a lot on what happened during the trainee days, but there were a lot of people that said he wouldn’t make it, and a lot of people that betrayed him.

Min Yoongi went through hell.

Min Yoongi had no one that believed in him.

Min Yoongi started out rapping in front of two people.

Min Yoongi is a person just like us.

Min Yoongi made his dream a reality.

Min Yoongi may not have changed the whole world, but he has changed mine and so many other’s.

And dammit you will respect him for that.

They’re not “pretty boys” or “hot girls.” They’re human beings. They’re people just like us that had the strength to fight for what they wanted. To go through hell and unimaginable pain for what they wanted. People that teach others to believe in themselves, and remind us that the world isn’t all bad.

They have changed my life.

They have saved my life.

They have been there for me when no one else was.

Just because you can’t look past language barrier or the fact that they’re all in a group, you disrespect them? You don’t understand why we love them so much?

Learn to listen to the music with your heart instead of your ears, and then maybe you’ll understand.

just a reminder that you’re allowed to be upset about things

even if you don’t understand why

even if the reasons are less about what’s happening now than they are about old pain or fears

even if other people have bigger reasons to be upset

even if no one can (or should have to) do anything to change the situation that upset you

even if you feel irrational for being upset

even if your own choices caused the thing that upsets you

you are entitled to feel what you actually feel. you’re responsible for your actions, yes, and for respecting boundaries and communicating appropriately without coercion - but you are allowed to be upset.

it is not inherently manipulative to be sad or angry or afraid or to tell people what you are feeling

you’re allowed.

your feelings are real and you’re allowed to acknowledge them.

5

Happy International Women’s Day to Dee Reynolds. Happy International Women’s Day to a female character who completely redefined women in comedy. Happy International Women’s Day to the woman who is allowed to be petty, vindictive, sexy, childish, angry, emotional, materialistic, unattractive, manipulative, messy, cunning, selfish and loud. Happy International Women’s Day to Deandra “Sweet Dee” Reynolds who is an inspiration to many women who look up to this complicated character and who resembles all of us much more than we may care to admit. And Happy International Women’s Day to Kaitlin Olson, who infuses Dee with genuine warmth and hilarity and has done so for the past twelve years. Thank you. 

All The Small Things

Every time Tom gets angry on the show, in front of Marco, it’s interesting to know that Marco isn’t particularly bothered by his anger.

 Every time Tom has been scolded by Marco, it’s been because of something he did wrong, like lying.

He’s never gotten angry at Tom for getting reasonably upset about things , even when he promised to him he wouldn’t get mad.

It’s something interesting to point out, because then it reminds you of how Star treated Tom’s anger in BMB.

Marco and Star are very different with Tom’s issues.

While Marco hasn’t yet to invalidate Tom’s feelings, and handles the problem by ridding the source of Tom’s anger.

Star instead, gets irritated because of Tom’s irritation, and shows annoyance at him for being upset.

Now i like Star, and she doesn’t have to put up with Tom’s anger.

But this night did mean a lot to Tom, and Star kinda went mostly for herself, not for them. Tom did everything possible to make the event something fun for her ((Resulting in his own subjects being bored)) and her entire reaction to all of it consisted of annoyance and ignorance.

Tom, who went through all this trouble to make this night perfect and prove himself to the one person (At the time) he cared about, kept feeling like he wasn’t good enough for her.

She ditched him as well to go do other things, although Tom’s anger is dangerous, the things he does get upset about are understandable and relatable.

His night was falling apart, and then Marco showed up, ruined what was probably his last chance to make the night up to Star, and that was the last straw for him.

Everyone is very quick to blame Tom for the breakup, but considering we know practically nothing about their dating life and relationship, and don’t really know why they broke up.

I don’t think it’s impossible that Star could’ve been partially responsible.

Tom is clearly a person who needs emotional support, he’s lonely and ashamed of his issues.

and as much as i like Star, she’s not typically very good with the feelings of others ((She’s getting better at it, but there are plenty of times Marco’s opinions, needs, and well-being were ignored in favor of her own))

Which is why it’s nice that Marco supplies that support for Tom, and takes his feelings into account when he’s hurt.

Tom should be allowed to be upset and angry sometimes, as long as he can control himself.

And it’s nice to see Marco not only validate his feelings, but help him handle his issues in a safe manner (Which Tom frankly seems to enjoy alot more)

It’s a small thing to notice how Marco treats tom’s issues in comparison to Star.

But it’s a pure small thing.

Latinx women are breathtaking. Latinx women deserve to be treated like human beings because we are. Latinx women are so capable and strong and intelligent and amazing. Latinx women have come so far and deserve so much more. Latinx women deserve to be happy, healthy, and safe. Latinx women are multitalented and giving and we don’t hear it enough. Latinx women have broken barriers, can break barriers, and will break barriers. Latinx women are so precious. Latinx women are allowed to cry and have feelings and feel sad. Latinx women need to be treated with more respect. Latinx women deserve the world. Latinx women must be respected at all times. Latinx women are hardworking and discredited. Latinx women stand together and call out abuse. Latinx women are humans. Latinx women are deserving and great. Latinx women face so much adversity and don’t deserve the hatred they face. Latinx women are allowed to feel angry without people fetishizing their anger. Latinx women are deserving of life and respect no matter where they were born. Latinx women are not creatures, but humans. Latinx women are not spices, but humans. Latinx women are allowed to speak out against things that are unjust. Latinx women need more representation in the media. Latinx women come in all colors, shapes, sizes, and from all over the world. Latinx women speak any language. Latinx women are introverted or extroverted or ambiverts. Latinxs women are allowed to be shy or outgoing. Latinx women are doctors, lawyers, stay at home mothers, teachers, janitors, chefs, cashiers, hairstylists, dancers, politicians, sex workers, accountants, vets, dentists, volunteers, artists, public speakers, managers, therapists, nannies, models, writers, athletes- everything and all deserving of the utmost respect. Latinx women own their own bodies and are in control of their own lives. Latinx women love. Latinx women are allowed to feel numb. Latinx women are revolutionary. Latinx women are, but not limited to, bisexual, pansexual, lesbian, unsure, trans, asexual- unending. Latinx women are Muslim, Jewish, Christian, Buddhist, Atheistic, Agnostic, Pagan and more. Latinx women do not deserve to be fetishized. Latinx women are humans, not sex objects. Latinx women are allowed to struggle with physical, mental, and developmental illnesses. Latinx women are survivors. Latinx women are warriors. Latinx women are allowed to laugh and cry. Latinx women are allowed to rest. Latinx women are so much more than what is written in this post. Latinx women deserve justice. Latinx women deserve to not be spoken over. Latinx women deserve positivity. Latinx women deserve to not have their issues derailed or ignored. Latinx women are so beautiful.

A long list of things that everyone deserves to hear:

-You are precious, priceless and extraordinary. In a hundred million galaxies, you will never find another.

-Crying is not a sign of weakness.

-You’re beautiful in so many ways.

-You are allowed to be angry, upset or scared about your current situation. Just never let go of the idea of a brighter future.

-“Sometimes it is better to be kind than to be right. We do not always need an intelligent mind that speaks, just a patient heart that listens.“

-Your negative days don’t make your good days any less valid or important.

-Forgive yourself for yesterday’s mistakes. Walk forward with your head held high; today is a new day.

-You don’t deserve the harsh words that you tell yourself.

-Reminder that you have friends that love and care about you in the world! We are all here for you!

-You deserve love, peace, happiness and hope.

-You are good enough.

-Be honest with yourself.

-You are made of stardust. You are a part of this universe.

-Find the beauty in the little and simple. Small acts and gestures shine brighter than the sun.

-“Bravery is not the absence of fear. Bravery is feeling the fear, the doubt, the insecurity, and deciding that something else is more important.”

-You are precious, loved, strong and supported.

-You are worthy of all the love and happiness that the world has to offer.

-Dream big.

-Worrying is toxic. It is what it is.

-People that come in and out of your life are not worth the stress. You are your top priority.

-Shoutout to you! You’re doing the best you can, and it is greatly appreciated!

-You’re a gem. What a wonderful mind you must have.

-Hang in there. I’m so proud of you.

Hey, guess what?

If you have a shitty father, you’re allowed to be angry about it.

If you have a shitty father, you don’t have to love them.

If you have a shitty father, you don’t have to feel bad or guilty about being angry and not loving them.

Your feelings are VALID.

They had no right to treat you like that.

Do something nice for yourself today; you earned it.

i keep seeing posts on here about how uma and harry aren’t relevant because harry flirts with everyone and while i’ve seen a couple posts defending them as a ship…. i just wanna tell you why you’re wrong… with gif evidence. sit back, y’all.

as i said before, the first “evidence” is that harry flirts with everyone but the problem is that y’all are confusing his tantalizing tactics with “flirting” because of thomas’ natural sex appeal. don’t believe me? here’s some examples of harry looking at various characters that aren’t uma.

let’s start with mal because people mainly use this one from what i’ve seen. and while the chemistry is there between them, i think that’s fair to say that its because DOVE AND THOMAS ARE A COUPLE and very obviously had something there during filming.

here we have harry right before telling mal that he could hurt her… a tantalizing tactic because he wants to KILL her:

and here we have his reaction after it didn’t quite go as planned where he genuinely looks annoyed as hell:

and since i know someone will bring up him blowing a kiss to mal… that’s after successfully pissing her and the rest of the vks off… like come ON. he had a successful reaction to his tantalizing yet AGAIN.

and after mal, you’ve got jay and ben.. which, okay. in theory they could be nice ships, but i also need you to think about the fact that he’s literally tantalizing them in every scene he shares with them. when harry is seen with ben he either is torturing him on the plank, fighting him on the ship, or ‘goochie goochie goo’ing him before uma steps in to intervene.. plus the whole “how’s it feel to be a king now” bit where he’s trying to get a reaction from him. and as for jay… again, you only see them fighting on the ship and then the scene in the alley where he’s LITERALLY trying to piss jay off. that’s what he wants. here’s some gif evidence of both:

tantalizing:

and after having a satisfying reaction:

tantalizing:

and after successfully pissing jay off:

now… *inhales deeply* his reactions with uma. let’s get to the good shit.


when we first see uma and harry, they’re in the chip shop and the first thing that happens is her bringing the plate of food and slamming it down… and that’s where he goes to eat and she pushes his arm up and allows her to do as she pleases without becoming angry. whereas when mal touched him in the hair salon, he had a fit of rage and knocked everything off the counter. carrying on from that same scene, he watches as uma becomes angry and yells at the tv and decides to join in right after her even though no one else does until they’re instructed to.

and then again we have the moment a few moments later when uma is talking about how mal betrayed them and… i’m sorry…. his lip biting, y’all.

then we have some scenes that weren’t in the movie, but were in the music video in which harry…. who is insanely protective of his hook, allows uma to use it. check this out.

now there’s about a million other scenes, so i’m not gonna describe every single one of them, but i’m gonna say this and then leave you with the rest of the evidence i’ve got at hand.

uma tells him to do something and he does it without hesitation. he doesn’t second guess her, he doesn’t ask why.. he just acts. apart from the times he made the comment about “never being allowed to have any fun” and then the “you said i could hook him” but i don’t see that as an argument. she puts him in his place and he ALLOWS her to. uma was also the only character in the movie who could calm harry down or stop him from his crazy ass outbursts. the scene in the chip shop where gil called uma shrimpy and uma put her hand on harry’s arm as if to tell him that it’s fine? iconic. AS SEEN HERE:

“harry. we get it. chill.” iconic. “give it a rest, harry! give it rest!” ICONIC.

carrying on.

(peep that grin after she shoves him)

this post has become incredibly long and if you’ve made it this far… congratulations, but HARRY AND UMA ARE IMPORTANT AND RELEVANT AND I WON’T HEAR ANYMORE ABOUT IT.

oh, and also. don’t even get me started on how he takes his hat off, kneels to be eye to eye, and then says her name with the utmost respect and adoration. if you didn’t ship them after this then… who even are you?

gif credits: (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

i. separate yourself. discipline is key. remember you’re better than him. block him. text your best friend instead. and turn the pictures around.

ii. lie to yourself and say that the good times weren’t that good. repeat this until the voice that’s arguing against it is silent.

iii. delete the screenshots. you won’t need them.

iv. cry. a lot. it’s okay. cry with your friend. cry alone. cry to your family. it’s okay.

v. get angry. you’re allowed bitterness.

vi. spit the putrid taste of his lips out of your mouth and onto the ground. curse his name until it is raw on your tongue. scrub your skin so you are clean of his touch.

vii. replace him with that friend you haven’t spoken to since august. it’s worth it.

viii. reject the phone call. that one, too.

ix. smile. force it if you have to. smile at strangers. and at children. and at your mother. and at the “other girl”. and at yourself.

x. forgive if only you wish to.

—  ten essential steps to moving on