talking about lgbt issues in class just stresses me out cause it’s always like let’s talk about the gays,tell me what you think about them because there is zero possibility that there are gays in this class because we are all straight and so heterosexual no homo bro yeah let’s make the non existent gays in this class feel incredibly uncomfortable by talking about them like they’re not fucking here and show how ignorant we are while praising ourselves for being the perfect allies™
Riot police fired
tear gas and stun guns at hundreds of students protesting university
tuition hikes outside of the South African parliament building in Cape
Town on Thursday.
“We were pushed back by police with force,” Motheo Lengoasa, a University of Cape Town student told
the Guardian amid chants and songs from fellow protesters. “The stun
grenade was shot right next to my ear. I still have the buzzing in my
2015 has been a huge year for the LGBT. With that comes everyone clamoring for to have their trans/gay angle. This video is about fake allies and how they can seek to exploit the LGBT community for their own gain. Jose Canseco is going to crossdress for a week to understand Caitlyn Jenner and American Idol casting directors are looking for the “right” type of trans person and Ryan Cassata takes a stand against them.
Tell me about your experience with fake allies in the comment section
The irony is that when a trans man says something about gender, people have this “Oh well, he must have personal insight, having been both” (lots of times the dude specifically says this) whereas when trans women say things about gender, the idea is that she isn’t allowed to have opinions on women, men, or gender at all, having failed to belong to either gender.
There is surprisingly little different today when paternalistic, so-called “progressives” still infantilize #BLM activists and their supporters, many openly stating that we have no idea who our “allies” are, and don’t know what is in our own best political interests. These same people claim to be our friends and “allies” who allegedly agree with our goals and want an end to racial injustice,but somehow they can’t quite agree with direct action activism because it’s just too gosh darn disruptive…for them. Could you imagine if one of your neighbors came to your house banging on your door begging for help, saying that their home is on fire and you calmly responded that you really would like to help, but because of all their yelling and screaming, you think less of them and then you admonished them for not being polite as they’re experiencing an immediate life-or-death crisis?
(SN: right now might be a good time to google Dr. King’s “Letter From a Birmingham Jail” and see what he had to say about paternalistic, “moderate whites” possibly being a bigger impediment to racial justice than any Klu Klux Klanner)
Back then, many white leaders said they agreed that racism was wrong, but complained that simple sit-in protests were too disruptive to achieve any meaningful change. Today, many white people say that they agree with #BLM protesters, but then say that simply interrupting a speech is far too unruly and won’t achieve any change. Back then, the government spied on Dr. King. Today, Homeland Security is spying on prominent #BLM activists like DeRay McKesson and several others. Back then, the media weighed black lives against property damage. Now the media weighs the value of black life againstproperty damage. Then, the police incited riots in cities like Watts, Harlem and Detroit. Now the police incite riots in cities like Baltimore, St. Louis and Ferguson.
Other than social media, technology and a more agile, decentralized leadership structure, the only significant difference between Civil Rights activism now and then is that back then, Dr. King was alive to speak for himself. Now, many of our political enemies and too many of our political “allies” just throw down some self-serving, completely out of context Martin Luther King quote - like he’s some MLK Pokemon pet - to silence any “disagreeable” black person who is justifiably enraged or in distress as unarmed black people continue to be randomly murdered by the police, with no accountability, and for no reason other than the color of our skin.
As allies, your job (after the first two things) is speak when spoken to, or to call out other privileged/non-oppressed people to listen to the group you are allied to.
Your job is not to talk over oppressed people.
Your job is not to discuss every single thought about oppressed groups as though you are an expert (cause you watched a single @chescaleigh or @katblaque video.)
Your job is to not make an oppressed groups issues about you. They are not and never will be about you. Thats kind of the point.
Your job is not to make oppressed groups “sound better” or to instruct them to be “less mean.” You get no say in how anger of oppression is dealt with.
In closing, it’s best to think of your allyship as being a house guest. You do not get invited to someone’s house and then rudely demand that they change the decor around that house to suit your tastes. (Nor do you speak over the family who invited you there and demand that they honor your opinion of them over their own opinion of themselves and their house.)
The most you should do, is kindly remind other guests to not be shitty guests and to listen to the host. (Unless asked directly otherwise.)
*I tried to make this applicable for most groups. I am a white, non-binary neuro-divergent bisexual person who has consistently dealt with bad allies in various forms. Feel free to add to this if you have the energy. I’m sure I have left out many things that could be addressed.
forget where I originally heard this framing, so I can’t give credit
for it, but this is important: the reason so many LGBTQ spaces,
especially for youth, explicitly include “allies” is not because it is
very important for straight people to have access to our spaces. It’s
because it allows those who are questioning or not ready/able to come
out to participate without outing themselves. Anyone can claim that
they’re there as an ally, and it doesn’t have to mean they’re queer.
I saw this in action at my previous job at a LGBTQ (and allied) youth
social services center. Many of the young people we worked with
initially identified themselves as allies and later came out as queer or
trans. Some didn’t; that’s okay too. We had nothing against working
with straight and cis people, either. But it was super important for
those who weren’t sure or couldn’t come out yet.
So, if you’re
for-sure cis and straight, just know that while you’re definitely
welcome in these spaces–or else they wouldn’t include allies in their
descriptions–these spaces are nevertheless not there *for you*, and
it’s inappropriate to demand that they cater to your needs or interests
*as a straight/cis person*.
P.S. The “A” in LGBTQIA still stands for asexual, not ally.
almost always there is some cis woman talking to a trans woman who says something like “I can’t imagine how someone could misgender you of all people” or “I couldn’t imagine looking at you and calling you anything but she” or whatever and the implicit idea being communicated there is like that if the person were some non-passing tranny or were doing some crazy gender practice like *having short hair* or *wearing pants* that misgendering makes sense.
Do not call trans people by our ‘dead names’. Don’t. Do not do it. Don’t do it as a joke, don’t do it when speaking about the past, don’t do it when speaking in third person, don’t do it when talking to other people about us when we’re not there, don’t do it even if you’ve known us by that name for 50 years, don’t do it even if you’re mad at us or trying to make a point. Don’t even do it to celebrities, not even Republican ones. Do not do it. Do not.
You are telling us, “it doesn’t matter to me that this crushes you, I am ok with holding your pain over your head, your identity isn’t real to me, and I am not your ally.”
And when you do it to one of us you say this to all of us.