You cannot challenge racism, on this level, by being nice to and reaching out to white supremacists. Their entire ideology revolves around dehumanizing us. It just does. not. work.
You cannot fight fascism by prioritizing the feelings of fascists and letting them think they’re safe around you. You don’t “get them on your side”. Because treating them kindly and respecting them, gives them your silent approval and access to those of you who are way more vulnerable than you are and who cannot afford to feel safe enough to “debate” with these monsters.
Our humanity is not a question or a debate topic, and by giving these people a platform you legitimize their views and help spread them to a larger audience.
“White women elected Trump. Black, brown, trans and queer women have been doing this for far longer and at far greater peril.” Any kind of real solidarity from allies has got to start with acknowledging these truths.
Acknowledge white privilege, and acknowledge who has been fighting for equality from day one, and then use that privilege to help put marginalized people in charge.
DO NOT FOLLOW ME IF YOUR FEMINISM DOESN'T INCLUDE:
• Trans women
• Trans men
• Intersex people
• The LGBTQ community
• Queer people of colour
• People with disabilities
• Autistic and neurodivergent people
• Sex workers
• Women of colour
• People with mental illness
• The Black Lives Matter movement
• The poor and homeless
• Male advocacy
• Sexual assault survivors (men and women)
• Muslim women (with or without the hijab)
• Jewish women
• Sikh women
I think it’s funny how y’all don’t even try to hide your ugly ass favoritism anymore. All of y’all rushed to make sure Vernon felt valid as a white-passing POC and praised the hell out of his looks whenever he mentioned getting bullied for being white mama mixed. Y’all marketed Somi on Produce 101 better than the show did and got her the #1 spot. She isn’t white-passing but she has Eurocentric features thanks to her white dad and her looks won her the show.
But nobody fought like that for Lee Michelle when she was on Kpop Star. Her dark skin, thick hair, and Afrocentric features were a turn-off for y’all so not only were judges n contestants rude/awkward with her but she was ignored as an artist up until she switched to performing hip-hop recently. And even now, y’all praise those crusty anti-black rappers over her.
Samuel is a Korean Latino with brown skin, a wide nose, and naturally non-straight hair. Y’all have literally ignored this child from the start of Produce 101. The only posts made in support of him were by other POC (mostly Black and/or Latinx). People on the show said he could never be a visual, making him upset for no reason, and nobody jumped to his defense like y’all did for Vernon and Somi. He mentioned himself that he felt viewers weren’t voting bcuz he isn’t fully Korean, which shows that he sees at least some of the ugly things said about him by colorist, xenophobic, anti-latinx ppl.
All of you white allies love making posts about colorism, appropriation, racism, and all that (while basically just repeating POC) but when you could have put your numbers to use and actually helped someone who is negatively impacted by all those things, y’all were nowhere to be found and some of you actively made jokes about Samuel thinking nobody would care. So fuck all of you.
On a personal level, being misogynist, ableist, homophobic, etc. is not just about feeling hatred for marginalised groups. Hatred is a symptom, and not everyone has that symptom. Sometimes it’s pity. Or creepy dehumanising fascination. Or indifference. Or ignorance and a self-absorbed refusal to learn to be better.
But it’s not about your feelings at all - it’s about actions and whether your actions support an oppressive system.
That’s why you can’t say, “I’m not misogynist! I love women!” and have people go, “well, you know your feelings best!” It’s not about your feelings. It’s about what you’re doing and if it’s harmful. And you do not get to decide if you’re harming others.
I am a Transwoman. You are a Piece of Shit. And That Distinction Matters.
Whining about transwomen. Ugh. Will TERFs ever not whine?
I ask why, as a transwoman born with debilitating dysphoria,
you use the term “woman parts.” I don’t know what the fuck that means. I
honestly chuckled reading that shit. Sorry you benefit from going along with
the arbitrary lie you were fed since birth that your vagina defines your gender
identity. But I can assure you, upside-down girl, a large, veiny schlong can
still be “woman parts” if it indeed belongs to a woman. But lol whatever.
Honestly I’m not angry with you. Not because I have any
fucks to give about your plight as a pouty little brat, but because I don’t.
You’re not worth the spoons to get mad at. You are worth mockery though, which
I shall do swiftly and without regret.
You make quite a few assumptions regarding transwomanhood.
You do realize that most of us won’t get surgery, right? It’s expensive, not
covered by insurance, painful, risky, and can often lead to a lifetime of follow-up
surgeries. Why do you jump immediately to the conclusion that our genitals are
what define our womanhood? Probably because you’re still married to the
privilege that comes with being a ciswoman in love with her vagina.
I want to be clear that being in love with your vagina is
far from a problem in my book. It’s a beautiful thing to be proud of something
that has been used against you for centuries, something that has been shamed,
abused, mutilated, something that made you a target for violence. Ciswomen are
still regularly discriminated against both interpersonally and systematically,
and of course their arbitrarily gendered genitalia play a factor into this. I
have no issue with you caring about yourself and the rights of ciswomen. But I
have a few questions for your ass:
What makes you think that transwomen aren’t constantly
bombarded with dick pics and flashers? What makes you think that I, as a
transwoman, cannot be a rape survivor as well? Because let me tell you, I
fucking am. I am a repeated rape survivor. Why are you always pointing to one
of two transwomen in the public eye as an end all example of our “privilege,”
when she represents a very small sample size of privileged and problematic
transwomen? Why do you think that all of us give a shit if you have genital
preferences, that somehow we don’t already know that our reproductive systems
are different than yours and somehow transmens’ similar systems to yours are
null and void because these are “woman parts?” What makes you think that a
transwoman’s inability to have biological children is a lesser experience than
a ciswoman’s? Like, what the hell makes you legitimately posit this? What makes
you think that transwomens’ oppression is a newer thing than that of ciswomens’?
What makes you think that we don’t experience scrutiny and emotional abuse
based on our bodies to an equal or perhaps even greater extent than you? What
makes you think that the way we behave isn’t also conditioned early on to
ensure we never escalate situations with men, that we don’t carry weapons and
text friends, that we don’t fear both rape and murder, that men who rape or
murder us will somehow be rightfully convicted but yours won’t? What makes you
think that some of us never presented naturally femme even before transition,
and even with the privilege of being cispassing come unique challenges and
fears? Fears of being sexually assaulted then “found out” and thusly beaten and/or
murdered. Fears of simply minding your own business sans makeup, your ass
grabbed on the train, another man coming to your aid, then infuriated once he
figures out that you’re “not a real woman” because he sees five o’ clock shadow
(a personal experience of mine).
Why do you think transwomen minding their own business in
changing rooms is the same thing as being “forced to see a penis?” Why do you
think we were ever equal to a man even when we were being raised as “boys?” Why
is somehow your language more important than our lives and well-being? Why is “oppressive
language” the same to you coming from transwomen as it is from men? How is our
fight for our lives oppressive to your ass?
I’m sorry some transwomen sent you meanie pants messages. I
wouldn’t personally send something like that to you, as threats are not in my
vocabulary. But did you ever sit and think, hmm, maybe there is a legitimate
reason why they’re reacting this way? Ever stop and think “Hmm. Maybe I’m
crying cistears and doing everything in my power to silence and diminish the
experiences of transwomen, experiences I obviously don’t know jack shit about
based on the trash article I wrote for Medium?”
I agree, your birth control and abortion rights are
important. But I’ll admit that your toplessness is not a particularly urgent
issue to me, and this is coming from a transwoman who developed breasts at a young
age. On paper, yeah, your rights to openly displaying your breasts are valid,
but some of us have bigger worries than you trying to make everyone look at your boobies. That’s a nice problem to have, sweetie. Ask any woman of color, specifically
black women. They have bigger worries than you. They face bigger adversity and
marginalization than you. And these include ciswomen.
Why do you assume our bodies aren’t hypersexualized and
catcalled every fucking day, that we don’t have to conform even more intensely
to mens’ standards? That if we don’t
shave carefully and wear heaping loads of makeup our lives won’t be in more
danger than you could ever fathom? We’ve lost 13 transwomen so far this year to
anti-trans violence. These were all transwomen of color, most of whom were
black transwomen. You yourself acknowledge that we’re a small percent of the
population, and yet so many of us are dying.
Why do you gloss over the intensified violence we face? Once
again I ask, why do you insist that our surgeries are what define us? Why are
you so obsessed with our surgeries?
I can answer all of these questions for you: you don’t see
us as women, or even as people. You want us gone, you want us silenced, you
want us to appeal to your comfywumfyness. As self-aggrandizing as it is to
quote my own work, I wrote a song that deals with shits like you. The hook goes
“What you see is everlasting
I ain’t going nowhere,
I’m staying right here.
What you see is everlasting
I ain’t going nowhere,
I’m staying right here.
Your comfort doesn’t matter to me if my well-being doesn’t
matter to you. Why can’t you get that thru ur head, thru ur head?
Your comfort doesn’t matter to me if my well-being doesn’t
matter to you. Why can’t you get that thru ur head, thru ur head?”
We all know why you can’t. And if your feelings need to be accommodated in order for you to be an ally, you never were one from the start.