allegory of time

Real talk, DC Bombshells fans...

As much as I love DC’s Bombshells line, I have to kind of side-eye their treatment of male villains in comparison to the female ones.  Canonically, Harley and Ivy are both violent criminals, but in this line they get to be an adorable couple fighting on the side of the angels.  And I love that.  But on the other hand, Edward Nygma and Oswald Cobblepot/Harvey Dent get portrayed as a Nazi sympathizer and a Donald Trump allegory respectively.  As @consulting-time-hobbit commented in a chat, it’s like they tried to go to the opposite end of the spectrum and make all the guys cardboard cutout baddies and the girls fully fleshed out characters.  Like the writers don’t think the male villains deserve to be more than mustache-twirling caricatures.  It’s an infuriating double standard that I WISH they’d rise above.  I’d love to see characters like Nygma rise above their Axis brainwashing to become liberated supporters of the Allied cause with the ladies.  I’d love to see them some equality when it comes to sympathetic portrayals of these characters. 

On Barbara as a Companion

Maybe I’ll catch shit for this, but here goes anyway:

I, personally, have reasons why I choose to believe Deacon’s final story is an allegory. In thinking about Barbara as a character, and not just a plot point in Deacon’s story, I realized another reason I choose to believe the story is an allegory: if I believed the story were true as he tells it, I would much rather have Barbara as our Railroad companion in Fallout 4 than Deacon.

Her story is the one that deserves to be told. She should be more than another fridged wife whose death teaches her husband a “valuable” life lesson and feeds him all the manpain necessary to continue on with his life.

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The Immortality of Virtue

Anthologia Palatina 7.225 (author and date unknown)

The long passage of time wears down even stone;
Nor does it spare iron, but it destroys all things
With the same sickle.  So too this tomb-mound
Of Laertes, set a little ways back from the headland,
Is being melted away by the chilly rains.
And yet the hero’s name is ever fresh. For Time
Lacks the power to make songs faint,
Even if it wishes to.

Ψήχει καὶ πέτρην ὁ πολὺς χρόνος οὐδὲ σιδήρου
  φείδεται, ἀλλὰ μιῇ πάντ’ ὀλέκει δρεπάνῃ·
ὣς καὶ Λαέρταο τόδ’ ἠρίον, ὃ σχεδὸν ἀκτᾶς
  βαιὸν ἄπο, ψυχρῶν λείβεται ἐξ ὑετῶν.
οὔνομα μὴν ἥρωος ἀεὶ νέον· οὐ γὰρ ἀοιδὰς
 
ἀμβλύνειν αἰών, κἢν ἐθέλῃ, δύναται.

Allegory of Time (Chronos and Eros), Johann Heinrich Schönfeld, 1630s

Story time

This has been bouncing around in my mind for a while and I feel like I need to put it down someplace before it gets lost.

Last year I was in a play. I’m female, and I was cast for a very masculine male role. It was a large part with a bunch of lines, so I had to stay in-character the entire play, which was two hours long. I didn’t mind it at first, but toward the end it was really tiring for me.

At first, I didn’t know why. I’m an actor, and I’ve played many parts without being as tired as I was, so it didn’t make sense to me.

We performed the play three times, so that’s six hours, plus all the time we spent rehearsing. Toward the end of the season, I was mentally exhausted at the end of every practice and I found myself dreading getting into costume the next day. I spent a long time thinking about why, because it was a good play. It was interesting and historically accurate while at the same time having zombies and it was funny.

So anyway, I spent hours thinking on why I hated playing my character so much and during the last performance, I figured out why. The realization hit me so hard I messed up my lines.

Before performance, I had to put my hair back and glue it into place with so much hairspray that it stayed there for three days straight during the performances without me having to wash it. For every performance, I wore a tight sports bra to flatten my bust to appear more masculine. And that, I realized, was the part I had been dreading most - it was so exhausting to try to force myself to pretend to be a male when I so obviously was not, and to say a bunch of lines like I was this person, that I can’t even really put it into words.

We messed up a lot of our lines so I had to improvise a lot, getting really into my character so I could act through the mistakes without the audience realizing we had screwed up. I think that was the hardest part for me.

But that wasn’t the thing that got me. The thing that stopped me in my tracks onstage was that I was a female, forcing myself to be male. And I hated it. I hated it so much that by the end of the season I actually felt sick, pushing myself through it for just one last performance.

I had only spent a few months like this. And the single thought that still stays with me is, “Some people feel like this all the time.”

And I got it. I understood. I have always been in support of LGBT rights, and I believe that it is right to identify with whatever gender you identify with. But that day I truly got how much of a Hell it is to force oneself into an identity one is not, not because I was under the impression that I had felt the same way, but because I knew I had felt only a teeny tiny little sliver of what some people must go through every day.

If I willingly played this character for a few months and I hated it as much as I did? I simply cannot imagine what it must be like for those who are unwillingly forced to stay the same gender as the sex they were born with, due to external or internal reasons, when all they want to do is get out.

This shit is real. These people deserve a voice. Please, give them a voice.