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I have 99 problems and Newt Scamander is 98 ¾ of them.

Rip Hunter and the Lost Plot

Okay, but what if Rip doesn’t have amnesia? What if he’s just lost? And for whatever reason the crew can’t find him the way they found everyone else? But all Rip knows is he’s trapped in the past without a time ship and for some reason they haven’t found him yet, but they must be looking for him, right? So he’s trying to help them out a little, like metaphorically sending up a flare. And by “flare”, of course I mean a whole run of terrible b-movies all based on the adventures of a plucky band of time-misfits and their dashing captain. Because looking at it from a future perspective he figures it’s probably easier to make a whole terrible cheap franchise than one, like, King Kong, and all he cares about is brand recognition, not making an actual masterpiece of the cinematic arts.

So here he is, making his terrible over-the-top movies and figuring that at some point one of the team is going to get off of the ship and be confronted with the existence of “Rip Hunter and the Time Pirates”, or “Rip Hunter and the Eye of Time”, or even the short serials, “Rip Hunter’s Space Adventures”, and after a little googling they’ll come and get him.

But… they don’t. And he’s going on seven of these terrible movies now and he’s running out of plot ideas and WHY HAVEN’T THEY SHOWN UP YET? 

And then they do find him, but it’s completely a fluke accident and they just stumble onto him somewhere and he’s asking them what the hell, why didn’t they come find him, how much easier could he have made it…?

And they’re all perplexed because, I mean, none of them even like terrible old sci-fi movies? Why would he think that would work?

And then Mick says, “Oh, man, if Snart were here he’d have shit a brick. He loved that kind of thing. Once when we were laying low after a job he made us watch every Ed Wood movie he could get his hands on. Plan 9 From Outer Space was his favorite.”

ok but james and tyler on the livestream saying that lukas might not live and that if he wakes up he’ll have brain damage is really hURTING MY SOUL LIKE WHY YOU GOTTA DO THIS and they also said it’ll be different to the norwegian one so it might not end with everyone okay UGH UGGGHHhh tbh if they’re gonna fall into the cliche of having the gay couple not have a happy ending then tbh this show is CANCELLED and i will pretend it never existed. idk man i’m NERVOUS. on the other hand tho they’ve been saying if the show gets enough views then they’d continue the philkas story in season 2 so unless that’s just baiting us and they’re lying…then they should both be alive at the end rIGHT?

Conversation with my 4yr old while making her lunch for school this morning
  • Me: Do you want to watch Nick Jr. or Disney Jr. while I'm making your lunch?
  • Her: Um...(taps her finger on her chin in deep contemplation) How about Pride and Prejudice?
  • Me: You want to watch Pride and Prejudice? Before school?
  • Her: Yeah! Just one episode. Please!? I love Lizzy and Mr. Darcy!

#343

December Doodle #9
Wydmuszki aka Blown Eggs(?) U kno, that lil empty eggs thing you do on Easter :v xD


So u have little crappy sketch of Blown Egg in Santa version xD

OOC. I have people posting about radiators vs centralized air/heating and freaking Colin Farrell “porn” on my dash. I can’t decide whether to laugh or cry. Tina is mildly disturbed. Seraphina is amused. I think she has had more giggle water than I thought tonight.

“At some point in the picture, a kindly female friend of Laura, who knows the facts of life, removes her glasses. It turns out, suddenly, that she can see perfectly well without them, and our hero falls passionately in love with the now-beautiful Laura and there is a perfectly glorious finale.” - Isaac Asimov’s essay “The Cult of Ignorance”

(Source)

EDIT: I found the full article for anyone who wants to read it. The “Girl With Glasses” trope is mostly contained to the photo above, though.

the only thing bigger than newt scamander’s suitcase is newt scamander’s heart

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favorite moana songs