So, it just dawned on me. Like, just. It dawned on me that normal people don’t bake cupcakes and take them to a bar. That is not a thing that regularly happens among people who work in a cubical all day, or with children in a daycare or what have you. Unless possibly there is a birthday. Other than that, baking and bar time very rarely intersect.
However, I am a musician, and Open Mic Nights can become like family dinners if done right. So, tonight, I called up all my lady musician friends, and said, “Hey, Open Mic has been a sausage fest lately, let’s take over and I’ll bring some sort of baked good.” So, instead of baking cookies and taking them to work, I baked cupcakes and walked into Barley Street Tavern with an instrument strapped to my back, ready to sing.
It was a good night. I saw all the gals. Hung with the bartender. Pet Shooter, the bar cat. And although to random patrons, I looked a bit silly, really it was like walking into my living room with a glass of milk and some cookies, only it was a Colorado Bulldog and a cupcake.
It recently dawned on me that the only copy of Tiger I have online is the original before I handed it over to Will and said, “fix it.” So, here’s a solo version of the finalized product, likely the way you’d hear it at an open mic.
Please remember, as always, if you are moved to do so or happen to create a baby upon listening to this, Rebecca is a great name for a child.
We made a resolution this year and a plan for recording.
Our resolution this year is to, at the very least, act like we understand our worth. We have worked very hard to to get to the point we’ve reached, and we would like that reflected in the gigs we take. So, if we’re playing less than you would like, we apologize. When we do play, we’re going to do our best to knock your socks off and make it worth all of your patience.
We will be recording soon. We have more than enough songs to record another album, and so we will. We’re going to take a little more time to do it than the last album, we’re also going to take a little more risk. We’re currently trying to nail down exactly what we think will work right now and make decisions on what we could put on the back burner for whatever comes in the future. We have time available to us that was spent, in the past, playing as often as we could. We are instead going to use that time to make you something really special.
So, that being said, if you see that I’ve taken the time to go to an open mic night, that might be your best chance of catching any hints of what’s to come.
Also, I don’t remember if I mentioned this here, but we were nominated for another Omaha Entertainment and Arts Award this year in the category of Best Adult Alternative/Singer-Songwriter. The big show is February 13th. So, I’ll let you know how that goes down.
All Young Girls Are Machine Guns - Better Than Nothing
If I’m honest with myself, I don’t know if I’ve known a fresher hell than when I find myself in a situation with an unknown amount of reciprocation or with a sincere miscommunication, when “I want to go home with you” or “you are a goddamned unicorn” really means, “Hey, I’d tell you all the things I really feel, but one, I don’t want to scare you with all of my feeling things, and two, I don’t know if I’m ready to give that part of myself away when I can see what’s on the horizon.”
So I say those cheap words that don’t cost me as much to say, and they’re not wrong. They are not wrong. I mean those things. I mean those things so much I live with them knotted up in my insides. I do my best to remain calm in the face of rejection or wait it out until I can find the right way to say what I need to, or wait it out until the other party involved catches up.
The only thing is, I said it best the first time when I wrote this song. Before I ever said those words, I wrote this song. You know, before I stopped being content with “better than nothing.”
I am not afraid of what I said. I am afraid that I didn’t say it all and that saying, “Oh hey, this song, this says it all so clearly. It gives these feelings a timeline. It sheds a light on the fact that my feelings are deeper and more well thought out than, ‘I want to go home with you’ could have ever expressed. Singing this song was enough for so long,” will never amount to getting to admit to all those things that caused this song to come into existence.
Of course, the internet is no place to put those things. Those things are meant for conveying in person. It’s a sad consolation, but this song, it exists. There is a story there, so listen to the cricket in the background, listen to the birds twittering, and don’t follow my example. Don’t write songs and say the wrong things and wish that the connection would just be made. That’s not how things work.