another loss, another scar

thirteen months after
thirteen lovers past
there was a silky kind of dream
that would never ever last

lucy took to drinking again
but kept it from the family
sammy and miranda
stopped sending christmas cards

lucy went into the shower
with a plus-one, sharp and slender,
silver, cruel

she went ahead and colored waters red,
her liquid life force streaming down
into the void, into the void
another loss, another scar
a mental one, but still
it never ends, it never does
i’m feeling very ill

into the void, into the void
we all go skipping
another loss, another scar
another loss, another scar
it never ends, it never does
it never ends, it never does

it never ends, it never does!

anonymous asked:

i don't know if ur watching but have you seen all the bamon speculation lately??? do you think there is actually a chance we can get a bamon endgame???

tbh, I have no idea why anyone thinks that’s going to happen or why endgame even matters to people. the story’s what matters. the story’s what stays. endgame is legit like winning a coin toss - you call heads and you get heads and you’re hyped for two seconds but then so what? it doesn’t change the story, it doesn’t change the moments that led up to it, it doesn’t change the things you felt or the lessons you learned or the transformations (or lack thereof) you watched these characters go through. shitty ships are endgame all the time - that doesn’t make them not shitty, and that doesn’t cheapen the journey non-endgame ships went through and how that journey made you feel. characters aren’t real. ships aren’t real. a ship being endgame doesn’t mean those characters are out there existing together once the show’s over - they legit end with the show. but how they affected you and what you learned about yourself through them? that’s what lasts. that’s what matters. 

so bearing all that in mind, bamon randomly being made endgame in the last five minutes of TVD doesn’t really do anything for me except give us childish and ultimately meaningless ammo against other ships - it just really doesn’t matter. if they wanted to do romantic bamon, they needed to do an actual, purposeful, non-ambiguous romance arc for them that unfurled over more than the last two episodes so we could observe things and feel things, and instead they did an entire final season of bonnie having no life outside of enzo and damon clinging to the concept of elena. so nah, i don’t think we’re getting a bamon endgame, and more importantly, even if we did, it’s so last second that it’d literally be nothing more than a stat to fling around to rival fandoms. endgame doesn’t define a ship’s journey, a ship’s journey defines the endgame, and bamon’s romantic journey if they do this will have been so half-assed that the endgame feels pointless. 

the good news is that none of this should take away from how watching bamon made you feel and the thoughts and discussions it made you partake in and the friends you made along the way. TVD will go away (#bless). bamon will fade. de and sc and kc and be and bk and all of those things will fade, and you’ll completely forget about them, but the things you learned and felt will linger and inform future endeavors. i learned so goddamn much from being in this fandom and it’s made me a much better, more respectful, and more informed person than i was coming in. never forget that you’re the actual main character in a story - you, the reader, the viewer - and at the end of the day, a story’s only as valuable as its effect on you. bamon doesn’t need to be endgame to be a great story, because it brought you here and made you feel things and taught you that sometimes things with incredible potential aren’t realized for dumb reasons. so take that forward, and if you’re so inclined, be the person who recreates that potential and actually realizes it. 

but most importantly, know that the only endgame of tvd that actually matters is you.


After today’s dramatic reveal over in the Discord RP, I can finally spam the internet with trash and can die a happy person now. @killerdraco’s Cross child and mine are now united in canon, and now here’s the Draevi-trash masterpost.
Don’t ask about that last one. I regret NOTHING.


“I don’t care about what you did
Only care about what we do.”  

“I am down for something
Come pick me up in your car.  ”  

pt. 1  

trying not 2 cry in school👌👌👌

EVERYONE  ALWAYS  HAD  a  debate  abt  the  s/ombra  short  &  how  reap  sparing  that  man  means  ‘  gabriel  is  still  inside  ’  but  lbr  he  probably  wanted  to  save  ammo  & , ,, , ,  , time  is  precious  to  him.  he  literally  throws  his  guns  away  instead  of  reloading.

tfw your stress of how much you gotta do backfires and causes you to procrastinate everything else

i swore i was never gonna date someone i went to school with if i get all skinny and attractive bc they didn’t see me and my heart of gold when i wasnt the prettiest flower in the garden and just bc i’m worth picking now (or later) doesn’t mean i want u to love n appreciate me then and i hope i’m a rose or something so my thorns can poke u u shallow piece of shit bc i’ve always been beautiful

tbh…. there’s a lot of nice soft klance moments in canon and it’s not always perfect and consistent but when i started voltron i already kinda knew about klance and thought i was gonna have to pull stuff out of my ass for this ship… but no…. there’s a lot of canonically soft klance for us in the show… i need more….