Leeteuk’s first and last letter to the Sukira family..
To everyone in the Sukira family, I’m holding the pen for the first time like this for everyone.
I should have written a letter earlier but this letter is my first and last letter to you all.
It has been 10 years with everyone and I don’t know how to put 10 years worth of words on a piece of paper. It’s like writing a love letter, writing, writing and erasing, writing and erasing.
Sukira is like a place where I’m able to find peace like a girlfriend who makes me excited and sad. Sukira is a friend whom I spent my 20s with for over 10 years.
From 2006 to 2016, the child-like idols in their 20s who became huge seniors & old people in the music industry. University students who were once girls going through puberty listening to Sukira while studying, becoming a man’s woman and becoming a child’s mum.
Even though it’s sad that time is running, it’s a natural thing but thank you for letting me feel that the time was shared for a while.
Always being unsure of farewells, being afraid of farewells, I want to delay this break up. But it’s time to part with everyone. I’m sorry.
Those who listened attentively to our voices, laughed and cried together for 10 years and those who became our new family members in the middle. I’ve always said “When you’re having a hard time or when you suddenly thought of something, I will always be here from 10pm to 12am, so come.” but I’m really sorry that I can’t keep the promise anymore.
Thank you for loving, supporting and listening attentively to me who is lacking. Also to those behind the scenes making the 2 hours broadcast go smoothly daily, understanding our ridiculous schedules for 10 years and for letting the Leeteuk who is able to speak well now voice be heard, our Sukira PDs, writers and staffs.
Today too, the studio is empty and lonely. Thankful to our Super Junior members, thank you Eunhyuk, Yesung, Ryeowook, Sungmin for being Sukira’s string together.
Eveyone, I, Leeteuk will come back again. I’m still lacking of life experiences and there are many things that I don’t know. I’ll come back again to relate and hug everyone after I’ve experienced, studied and learnt more.
I always say this right? “It’s not the END, but AND” and dream of the day we meet again, feel the excitement of that day and live well. I’m really thankful for all those times. You, KISS family, are more precious than anyone in this world. I sincerely love you.
Perhaps I should clarify what is going on, since so many folks seem to be confused!
I am sitting in the cabin of my boat, with my brother Stanley. I have a Lap Top computer, with which I am using to post to this blog. We’re on the ocean, now heading south down the coast of of Greenland. I am not “in the plane between the fabric of space”. I am on Earth. I am also way too old to be acting out these little scenarios. I apologize if that ruins your fun. I’m just trying to keep in contact with my niece and nephew over the Internet.
Anyway, more representation for adult trans men who didn’t start transitioning till they were adults
Trans men haven’t figured themselves out yet and are screaming “girl” as loud as they can with every movement of their body because they’re trying to drown out their mind shouting “boy” just as loudly
Trans men who refuse to think “I wish I’d been born a boy” because it’s a “betrayal” of their womanhood
Trans men who cling to each and every feminine trait and interest they have as proof that they’re girls
Trans men who hate their bodies but blame it on media and inconvenience and expectations rather than admit that it bulges in the wrong places and hurts to look at
More representation of trans men that isn’t kids/young teens who started living as a boy and magically are able to pass and always knew and didn’t have to struggle with their identity for years before they could even admit it to themselves
More trans men who didn’t start transitioning until they were adults
what’s wild is the memory i have of sitting on the curb outside my mother’s house with my girlfriend who wasn’t yet my girlfriend but just my best friend & we were probably 13 or 14 & i said to her: if we get any closer we’re gonna be dating. it was a joke, said totally without irony &, well, here we are. we met when we were 11, both traumatized & afraid & growing up fast, hardened, by 12 i had already seen & heard it all. she’d seen even more than me. our brains were dysfunctional & we were dysfunctional & she came to live at my mother’s house at 15 & that’s where i kissed her for the first time, in the living room with the window looking out on the curb where i said we couldn’t be any closer. i think about the violence we lived under, the codependency & obsessiveness that grew from it, the way we decided from the very beginning that the only place we were safe was with each other, how that wasn’t always true but it didn’t matter, the whole weathered storm easing out into this place: a bedroom, her sleeping next to me, the good godly night. when we were kids there was this hill we used to sit on overlooking a shitty apartment complex across from the projects where my girl used to call home. those apartments were where we were gonna live, for some reason, the main point being: together. that’s a part of the wildness of it all, that here we are in another city in a different apartment building across the street from a cropping of subsidized housing we never grew up around & somehow inexplicably quite impossibly together. i remember that girl on the curb & she doesn’t even know, about sharing the too small beds or that night at the lake or the cheap rings. but she will. the universe looks out.