This year at age 23 I lost my beautiful mother, she died. I did not get to say goodbye, in fact she wouldn’t let me see her for months before as she was too ill and I didn’t fight to get to hold her hand or hug her.
This year is ending and I have to watch as one of my favourite “celeb” families copes with losing their beautiful mother. I am so glad they got the chance to hold her and enjoy her until her last moments on this earth. I feel for them deep in my heart, I know the road they’re now facing. It is not a pretty one but I know for damn sure those kids will hold and love each other so much in the coming days and weeks and years to come. They’ll make their mother proud and as I weep for my mother, I shed a tear for their loss too. But I know they will show strength and grace through all of this and make the best for their family.
I have a few more people who have recently supported me through my “Buy Me a Coffee” link. They didn’t leave user names for me to tag them, but I hope they know how much I appreciate them!
I have been overwhelmed by the support I have been shown, truly. It may not seem like much, but every little bit helps free me up to do what I love, and I could never express how grateful I am for that. I love you all.
Here’s the link to donate, if anyone is interested!
Hi Rosy, this is non fandom related. How do you find the confidence to write meta/analysis? I want to do it as I have a lot of ideas, but I'm scared they are wrong, I'll be ignored, or I'll accidentally offend someone. Do you have any advice? Thanks!
Baby, honey, darling, lovely nonny. I am ignored ALL THE TIME. I am also, apparently, offending everyone on a constant basis just by writing my name along with the words, “i think….”
Wrong? Well, I try to be right and that’s why I spend so much time on them, and try to back them up with evidence and logic. This is me, not only defending my position, but making sure it hangs together. And if I do say something wrong or come up with a wrong interpretation? I’m okay with that. I don’t have to hang onto my ideas because they do not define who I am. The thing that is important to me in my writing is that I think, consider, keep an open mind, and make meaning. I’ve thought about this, because people have said “oh they never admit they are wrong,” but I’m not sure that’s true. I do. I say, “yeah you’re right.” “You make a good point.” “If that’s true then this is happening…” “that’s really interesting…” “I like your idea better than mine.” I don’t castigate myself for being wrong. I just drop the wrong idea and move on.
It’s okay to be wrong. But it’s also okay to say, “no sorry, I think i’m right, even if you disagree.” This is the part that fandom doesn’t like. That I stand in my belief in my own interpretation even when THEY say I’m wrong.
I mean, you see all this anti attention and you think that means everything I say is heard, but I’m ignored far more often than I am heard. And it’s usually the really important things that I want people to hear that are ignored. Sometimes it’s better to be ignored, you get to develop your ideas before people start paying attention. It’s a process. Even when ignored, I keep writing. Why? Mostly because I just like to write and writing helps me figure out what I think. I do it for myself. But as for posting them?
First, I remember that what my audience is reading is not really about me, even when I am writing it. It’s about how THEY are taking in my words and how they relate to it. I separate my SELF from my writing. My writing is not me. I am not my writing. This is kind of hard and it takes a lot of practice. Remember that I’ve got a lot of years under my belt in which I’ve been working on self confidence.
It also helps that I was a high school teacher and am used to putting my ideas out there. And it also helps that I am actually educated and have been declared by academia to have mastered literary analysis and critical thinking and teaching and yadda yadda yadda. I don’t think you need that in order to be smart or good at meta or argue well or anything– but it does help your confidence. I’ve been asked why I think I have a right to say what this or that means, and I can be like, because I have a couple of degrees and licenses and was actually paid to do this in the real world. People can’t tell me I’m not an authority because I have external validation. I prefer internal validation, but the external stuff doesn’t hurt.
More about that internal validation. I know who I am. I know I’m smart. I know I’m good at this. I’m not good at everything, but this I know. I have knowledge. I have skills. I know myself and I worked hard to build up my self confidence and believe in myself. Like really hard. Consciously. I have developed empowerment through creativity workshops that have helped not just me, but teens and other women. I simply do not seek validation from tumblr. If I get 5 notes on a piece I worked on, I’m okay. If I get another shitpost on GG like I got last night (2 actually) I don’t care. If someone says I’m wrong? Well I disagree with them, and then I show them why. If I get called names, it’s like ‘no I’m not that’, ‘I’m that but it’s not a bad thing’, and ‘that doesn’t matter at all’, and ‘shame on you for attacking me for that you are a horrible person.’
Finally, how can I stand up to all the criticism and attacks and negative attention and nasty anons? Before I got to tumblr I was a part of an anonymous mom’s chatboard that was, like 100 times worse than tumblr. But it was anonymous and they couldn’t follow you around. No stalking. However, I learned how to deal with trolls. You guys think I’m snarky here? LOL, you should’ve seen the one liners there. Trolls and haters are not important. Mostly, they’re just assholes. I don’t give assholes’ opinions more weight than my own. Remember that if you stand out, someone is going to try to hammer you down. If you say you have a right to an opinion, someone is going to say you don’t.
Work on your skills, knowledge base and arguments.
Separate your writing from your Self.
Learn that it’s okay to be wrong.
Believe in your right to have your own opinion.
Trust in your intelligence, interpretation and pov.
And see the haters what they truly are, assholes, not authorities.
Because I love this child and he needs more love, especially his relationship with Yuuri ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
While Phichit is an incredibly friendly lovable cinnamon roll, he won’t stand for anything threatening his best friend Yuuri, even if the threat happens to be someone Yuuri loves. Yuuri clearly adores the Victor he knows now (just as much as he idolized the distant figure in the past), but Phichit won’t forget how much Victor hurt Yuuri in the past, unintentional or not.
I headcanon that on top of being a skilled figure skater, Phichit is an academic genius who skipped grades and entered college in Detroit super early where he met Yuuri, which explains their long acquaintance despite the age difference. He is very, VERY protective of Yuuri. I’ll put up a more detailed headcanon post later (and if there’s interest, possibly prequel comic of pre-YOI anime Detroit college days).