all this whole thing is about is not being able to communicate with each other anymore

One maladaptive coping mechanism that turns very toxic when you’re not defending against abuse is to read any uncomfortable situation as a deliberate personal attack, and sometimes extrapolate one incident into a whole pattern of malicious intent.

Examples:

  • “Hey, I have a headache, could you please lower your voice a little?”
    - “FINE I guess I just won’t say anything at all!”

  • “Hey thanks for inviting me, but I’m not feeling well, so I’m sorry but I can’t make it. Maybe (x day) instead?”
    - “Sorry for asking! I guess I’m just too needy for you!”

  • (Someone forgets to call you back.)
    - “Yeah I don’t think we’re friends anymore, she acts like she hates me.”

  • “Hey, what you just said about me was literally not true. Why did you say that?”
    - “Right, I’m just a piece of shit who should never talk at all I guess!”

  • "I don’t really feel like sex tonight.”
    - “Sorry I’m so repulsive to you!”

  • “You really hurt my feelings. Why did you do that?”
    - ”Go ahead and just break up with me, I know you’ve been wanting to.”

This kind of response escalates an interaction from a two-way conversation about a specific problem into a fight about your own self-worth. Instead of reponding to what’s actually happening or interrogating whether an attack was intended, this response immediately changes the conversation into a defensive argument where the only relevant question is if you’re an okay person that people care about.

Like I get feeling this kind of reaction, I get having a knee-jerk response of fear and shame and self-loathing. Sometimes when you’re feeling vulnerable it is very, very difficult not to read super far into anything negative. Sometimes it just reflects off all your internal fears and amplifies inside of you until a polite “no” feels like everyone you’ve ever liked is telling you they hate you.

But it is possible, with some work, to separate your feelings from your actual knowledge of the situation. It’s possible to feel one thing in your heart and still recognize with your mind that the reality is different. You can learn to notice the difference between someone actually attacking you and something just feeling like an attack because you’re extra vulnerable.

You can also learn not to react based solely on your feelings. You can learn to take another person’s actual words and actions into account and respond based on what you think - not just feel - their intent actually was. That work is as necessary as it is difficult.  

People need to be able to tell you things that aren’t overwhelmingly positive without you making them feel guilty for saying anything and treating their concerns as an attack.

Otherwise, you wind up in a position where they can’t be honest with you. They can’t say no to you, can’t tell you when something you do hurts or scares them, can’t point out worrying things as friends do to take care of each other, can’t bring up their own needs without the conversation devolving into comforting you again.

This habit interacts especially badly with the way many other trauma survivors are terrified of upsetting anyone – when your reaction to them bringing up problems or saying no is consistently disproportionate, they may find it easier to just do what you want even against their own will.

It is possible to deal with those awful feelings and get the comfort you need without resorting to lashing out when you feel bad. It’s okay to be honest about the fact your emotions don’t always line up with reality so people know what you’re going through. It’s okay to just ask for the emotional support you need or for confirmation that they mean what they say.

You may even find that when you make a continuous effort not to treat these uncomfortable experiences as crises, they deescalate and you wind up feeling more secure each time.

Look, this coping mechanism, like many forms of manipulation, is a useful survival tool in the context of an abusive relationship where you really are being attacked insidiously, and where you can’t just ask for comfort and expect to get it. But if you are no longer in that kind of situation, it’s time to reevaluate the usefulness/danger ratio and figure out what other strategies might be better for you and the people you love.

SDCC 2017 Rebecca Sugar interview

Rewind and Pause interviewed Rebecca Sugar in this fifteen-minute interview. Here’s a sorta-transcript–not word for word, but basically what the questions are and how she answered, paraphrased.

Question: A lot of the show’s symbolism is inspired by Utena. Can you discuss that show’s influence?

Rebecca: When I was a teen, that show was an epiphany for me! It plays with the semiotics of gender and I was a bisexual teen relating to it in a way I’d never related to anything before. The show is beautiful and I love that she decides she wants to BE a prince after being saved by a prince. And it’s also funny. It’s so extreme that it’s funny, and that was a huge influence on me as well, that something could be so dramatic and so beautiful but also wacky. It’s so extreme that it’s powerful at the same time as being funny. I got to see the origins and see Guys and Dolls at the Takarazuka Theater when I visited Japan. Osamu Tezuka grew up in that town! You know, Princess Knight, which has everything to do with Utena. I got to see some of the roots there and it was a big influence. Amazing.

Question: Another influence, especially lately, you can draw comparisons between Steven’s miracles and Christ figures. Are you exploring this, and potentially modernizing that allegory, with different kinds of love?

Rebecca: We’re inspired by every voice that has ever spoken about peace. I think–I’ve been reading about Hillel the Elder and how he said “If I’m not for myself, then who will be for me?” The gentleness with which he approached everything is really inspiring to me. I think that I’m very influenced by my Jewish upbringing. I’m half Jewish and was raised Jewish. I’ve felt the feeling of belonging but not belonging. I’ve been moved by this incredible history and this wonderful community that I wanted to understand and be a part of. That’s all been a big influence on the show as well. It was all about growing up with my brother, and that was a big part of my life. There’s a lot of spiritualism in the show.

Question: I wanna ask you about the color symbolism? And I’d be remiss if I didn’t say thank you for showing our community on TV. About Steven: His Gem is pink, his shield is pink, his sword is pink, his shoes are pink! It subverts the tropes of a traditional male hero. Was that intentional?

Rebecca: Oh, it’s COMPLETELY intentional. Yeah, I think one of the things I wanted to do as I went into the show was address how intensely gendered shows for children are and dissolve that. That was my first goal. And I think it came in large part because as a little kid I always gravitated toward boys’ shows, and I felt extremely guilty about that. And I don’t think my child self should have had to feel bad, but I understood “this is not really for me.” So as we went into this, I wanted NO ONE to have to feel that. I wanted everyone who wanted to, to feel it was for them. Especially since it’s gender nonconforming as a show.

Question: Silly question: Peridot and Lapis are roommates. What do you think their biggest pet peeves are of each other? If they have any, I mean.

Rebecca: Gosh. I think Lapis is sort of both annoyed and comforted by Peridot’s infinite energy. I often thought of them like the sort of old cartoon idea of a small dog and a big sort of like doesn’t-really-care dog. With a small very very excited dog. I felt that that was a dynamic for them. So I think that that, like those characters, it’s annoying to Lapis but she doesn’t actually dislike it.

Question: Congrats on the Emmy nomination!

Rebecca: THANK YOU!

Question: I hope we get to see “It’s Over, Isn’t It?” and “Both of You” during the Emmys. How do you feel?

Rebecca: I’m so excited, and I’m so glad it’s that one. It was such a fun dream to make a musical episode. I always loved those, they’re always my favorite. I couldn’t wait to do ours. Everyone was firing on all cylinders for that episode. I got to do music with Jeff Liu and Ben Levin, and Aivi and Surasshu’s compositions for the finals were stunning, the backgrounds are incredible, the art is so beautiful, it’s Jeff Liu and Joe Johnston’s last board together, it was one of the last episodes I got to work on with Ian before he left to do his show, so it also has a special place in my heart, I remember seeing it come back and being in the edit bay watching it and my eyes were welling up because “this is it, this is everything I ever wanted.”

Question: Not to mention Deedee crushing it.

Rebecca: She’s amazing! And that was when she was doing Tommy! So we got her on a day she’d been doing shows all day, and she came and knocked that out.

Question: First take?

Rebecca: We did several, but all of those takes were amazing. I love writing songs for Deedee. And that one, it has some notes in it that I cannot hit. But I know Deedee can do it.

Question: Now when you write songs, you hear a lot of the demos you write on ukulele a lot, but you play other instruments. Do you find that you write differently depending on what instrument you’re writing for?

Rebecca: Yes! Oh, completely. I have my go-to ukulele chords. But I also like to write songs on the omnichord, which is like a synthetic harpsichord from the 80s. And it has a row of buttons, you hit a button and you get that chord. I can use it for experimentation for chords I might not have thought of. I got one off eBay, the OM-84, and it was a little buggy, it wouldn’t play right, would go out of tune, and I took it to get it looked at, and these incredibly corroded batteries fell out of it! With this cloud of red dust! So I can’t put batteries in it anymore. But I can plug it in and it still works.

Question: So for “Love Like You,” is it connected to any of the characters or any point of view, or was it more a one-off?

Rebecca: “Love Like You” is so unusual. It started as a point-of-view song for all Gems, and the thesis of the whole show, sort of toward Steven, and my own brother Steven, but because it was the credits, I wrote the song over three years in little pieces. I thought at the start that this is about an alien that’s looking at a human, who loves them, and the secret meaning of this is that they don’t have the capacity to feel this way. By the middle of it I was deep into the show and going through a real crisis of confidence, where I was like “why are people looking to me? It’s not right!” and these people were coming out of the woodwork to thank me for the show, people who had been able to speak to their families in these wonderful new ways, people who had become comfortable with themselves in these incredible ways that I had not been able to do! Where I was like “I’m so inspired by everyone! Why are they thanking me?” So the middle of the song I was sort of in that place. And about a year later, I realized the beginning was not what I had thought it was about at all. It’s not a secret meaning about an alien who doesn’t understand humans. It’s about the fact that I had always loved my brother and had these people who would love me unconditionally in my life, and because of my insecurity I had not been able to be there for them 100%, and I realized this was maybe one of the most human things I’d ever written, and I had written it by accident. So I got to conclude it. It was seriously written over 3 years.

Question: Recently we talked about how the show has been dramatic and full of conflict. It’s great but do you ever have concerns about taking the show–it’s a very positive show, so does the conflict have the potential to go too far, or do you like making it more challenging?

Rebecca: I’m excited to be more ambitious with the story, and the danger they’re experiencing also feels like a danger for us who are writing the show. Writing stories that are more ambitious and challenging. It feels necessary, because it’s about how love conquers all, but you can’t write that story without showing what comes up against that. I’m excited to explore the–you’re right, it’s scary to explore where hate comes from in a show about love. I want to–it’s a challenge to stay positive while exploring that. But that’s a challenge I experience in LIFE. And that’s a challenge we’re all experiencing right now. So it also feels like the time to explore that in myself and in the show.

You know what is amazing ? Truly amazing ? Is that we can go back and reading bleach KNOWING that ichigo had a crush that transformed into love for orihime . 

Like this ichigo ? 

Totally had a crush on Orihime 

And this ichigo ? 

ALSO totally had a crush on Orihime 

And this ichigo ? 

He is a dork trying to take care of his crush 

AND THIS ICHIGO IS FALLING IN LOVE WITH ORIHIME 

AND THIS ONE GOD LOOK AT THIS ONE TRYING TO PROTECT THE GIRL HE LOVES DESPITE HAVING GREAT TROUBLES TO CONTROL HIS HOLLOW 

AND THIS ONE IS FUCKING PROMISING TO PROTECT HER . HER AND ONLY HER WHEN HIS OTHER FRIENDS WERE HURT TOO . Also in japanese culture this particular sentence hold a lot of meaning in the romantic sense . 

“ Ok ok I get what you mean “ you say to me “ But what about THAT ichigo ????” 

ALSO FUCKING IN LOVE WITH ORIHIME MY DUDE HELL YEAH 

And this ichigo ? Crushed by Orihime being taken to Hueco mundo . 

LOOK AT THIS BOY LIKE CALM DOWN ICHIGO WE KNOW YOU LOVE HER BUT CHILL DAMN no but seriously look at his reaction rukia was about to die and yet his gut reacted here at the mere mention of orihime’s name ???? 

And look at this mofo seeing his love in slow motion hair blowing in the wind and shit 

AND GOD LOOK AT HIM PROTECTING HER WHILE SHE HAD HER SHIELD IN FRONT OF HER . lIKE ICHIGO YOU’RE SIXTEEN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

And look at him not even being able to look at orihime in the eyes because he sees fear in the way she looks at him . God this breaks my heart 

Ok this heals my heart look at him being completely awestruck , look at Kubo represented her voice reaching out to him ! Look at his eyes GODFUCKINGDAMMIT 

*sobs* FUCKING ORIHIME SAID HIM TO NOT BE FUCKING HURT ANYMORE AND LOOK AT HIM , THIS LOSER HE WAS NOT ABLE TO KEEP UP WITH GRIMMJOW BUT JUST ORIHIME CHEERING FOR HIM AND SUDDENLY HE IS . NOT ALLOWED . TO SUSTAIN ANYMORE DAMAGE . He is so fucking in love with this girl it disgusts me 

Ichigo! You’re dead ! On the floor! You have a hole in your chest! like dude it’s not the time to think about orihime and how much you want to protect her oh god 

OMG ICHIGO YOU JUST HAD A HOLE IN YOUR CHEST AND YOU TRANSFORMED INTO YOUR HOLLOW WHICH WAS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR LIKE THE FIRST THING YOU DO IS ASKING ORIHIME IF SHE’S ALRIGHT WHILE SHE’S OBVIOUSLY UNINJURED . LIKE JUST HOW MUCH DOES HE CARES FOR HER OH MY GOD 

And look at him , puppy faced and all mushy mushy just because orihime cried for him . What a loser omg ichigo like be cool in front of orihime stop wearing your heart in your eyes your feelings plain for the whole world to see like that 

“ yeah I noticed you were real popular with the guys … not that it bothers … but you know… I’m just placing it in the conversation … like that … just to … you know… ANYWAY” 

We SEE YOU ICHIGO WE KNOW YOU NOTICED ORIHIME WAS SO POPULAR WITH THE GUYS AND IT BOTHERS YOU but except from keeping the creeps away from Orihime he won’t do anything about it because he always respected Orihime’s agency so much like this kid is so pure I love him god 

Look at him being awestruck once again by orihime . Thinking she is so great and amazing and his heart must expands so much knowing just how much her and chad care for him . He must be so grateful 

Omg don’t do this to him orihime he’s so in love with you SO IN LOVE . He cannot stand the thought of losing you because of tsukishima’s power look at how heartbroken he looks STOP ORIHIME STOP also orihime my love breaking through tsukishima’s ability just because OF THE STRENGTH OF HER LOVE FOR ICHIGO LIKE WHERE DO THEY STOP FOR THE OTHER OMG THIS IS TOO MUCH 

Once again look at him being all dorky and happy like a puppy just at seeing orihime !! He had just been beaten by Bach and was depressed he couldn’t protect everybody but POOF one look at Orihime safe and smiling and bam puppy eyes showing his feelings to the whole world 

OMG ICHIGO BE COOL THIS IS SO TOTALLY LAME 

oKAY YOU LOST IT I GET IT HORMONES YOU’RE A TEENAGER AND YOU’VE LOVED ORIHIME FOR SO LONG YOU’RE BOUND TO ACT LIKE THAT SOMETIMES I GET IT MY GUY 

And look at him comforting orihime like “ NO ORIHIME DON’T BE SAD NO” . Omg he is such a dork , he is so in love it’s killing me

HE WENT BACK TO PROTECT HER CRADDLING HER TO HIS CHEST LIKE SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE HE’LL ALWAYS ALWAYS PROTECT HER NO MATTER WHAT

Okay ichigo danger is over you should let her go now even if her hair is really soft and it feels really good holding her so close to you  

AND LOOK AT HIM MY GUY IN THE MIDDLE OF BATTLE COMMUNICATING WITH HIS WIFEY BY A SINGLE LOOK TO REASSURE HER . LIke godammn ichigo you’re fighting against a god FOCUS 

OMG ONCE AGAIN YOU STOP MID BATTLE TO REASSURE HER . ARE YOU SHOWING OFF YOUR NEW COOL FORM IN FRONT OF ORIHIME , ICHIGO ??? ARE YOU ???? ARE YOU?????????????

And most importantly the most in love with orihime of all those ichigo 

It’s been 12 years he’s been in love with her and look at the softness in his eyes , the casualness because THEY ARE FUCKING MARRIED FOR AT THE VERY LEAST 6 YEARS OMG THEY SPEND EVERY DAY TOGETHER BEING ALL DORKY AND IN LOVE . cAN YOU BELIEVE THEY GOT THEIR HAPPY ENDING ??? CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY ONLY EVER LOVED EACH OTHER ???? CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY BOTH GOT TO MARRY THEIR HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART ???? CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY HAD A BEAM FOR SUNSHINE AS A SUN ?? CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW HAPPY THEY MUST BE WAKING UP NEXT TO EACH OTHER EVERY MORNING GOD ????

THEY ARE JUST . SO IN LOVE . 

* spontaneously combust*

Fixing Septiplier

I saw this tweet and, yes, I can kinda agree.

People say its because Mark and Jack aren’t friends anymore, and I think thats not the case.

They still are friends, a lot, there are some parts in the livestream where they smile and talk to each other, but the thing is.

Its done where they’re not in the spotlight.

For example, Mark and Jack were tossing the toilet paper to each other and they were smiling at each other, but the camera men didn’t put them on the spotlight.

Also, Mark told Jack something and a big smile went on Jack’s face, but they were in the background, and the camera weren’t on them the whole time.

Mark and Jack always fueled the Septiplier ship back then and why don’t they do it now?

Well maybe they’re scared too?

Because back then:

The Septiplier ship was smaller, and people didn’t ship it as hardcore as they do now. They used to ship it as Mark and Jack did, in a silly, cute way.

But later on, people shipped it to a level that Mark and Jack never expected/wanted-

What I mean is smut, and people who believe they’re gay and they do love each other romantically.

Shippers who don’t ship it that way, or at least still know Septiplier won’t happen still [smut shippers], don’t worry, this isn’t completely your fault. I’m a shipper myself, so I know.

Like, do you really want drawings of you naked with a friend on the internet, especially when you’re as popular as them?

No, why would you?


Honestly, I think they might actually still wanna make those Septiplier moments keep going like they used to, but maybe they’re scared it’ll blow up and the shippers will take it too far?

It seems likely because,

it has happened.

They do sonething cute, it blows up, and now its madness and nobody can calm down.

Because if you’ve ever noticed, if you look at a Septiplier moment, its clear they’re extremely happy in each and every one.

But now they have to be cautious at every move they do on camera or else things will go nuts.

I don’t think they’re trying to sink the ship, I think they’re trying to make it back to the way it is.

But before you say “Then why don’t they just say they want the ship to calm down so they can be silly again?”

Well of course, THATS going to blow up. It doesn’t matter whether they giggle at each other or they actually do something cute, it’ll blow up either way. Its like some crazy curse. Literally, anything that includes Mark and Jack, there’s always someone going “OMG SEPTIPLIER AWAY, THEY LOVE EACH OTHER!!!” Like, come on dude, these are real people who don’t love each other romantically. Let them be them. Everything doesn’t have to be Septiplier. Why can’t it be just two friends being friends?

And just so people know, thinking Mark and Jack are actually gay, even though having girlfriends, IS NOT AN OPINION. NOT IN THIS SITUATION. ITS JUST WRONG.

There’s a difference between a fact and an opinion. And Mark and Jack being straight is a fact. They have girlfriends, who are each wonderful people, but they ALWAYS, constantly state they’re straight, they are NOT attracted to men. They are straight and have amazing ladies as their girlfriend and if you can’t respect that, then I don’t think you should be here. Think about it. (Thank you to anyone who said about Mark and Jack stating they’re straight constantly)

And if it gets to the point where Mark or Jack have to make a video on this topic, thats it. We can’t fix it then. Because if its so effective on their lives that they have to tell millions about it, is not only dissapointing, but clearly fuckin shows our fandom can’t control ships.

Because Mark and Jack are not the ones changing.

The Septiplier ship is changing, and not in a good way. We fucked up. They didn’t.


And how do we fix it?

Well, Septiplier is huge, A LOT of people ship it. Its literally the second most searched option when you type ‘Sep’ in the YouTube search bar.

And it won’t be something we can do overnight. Its going to be a slow process.

There’s a lot of us and we have to all agree.

We can’t just lay around, waiting until everything gets better. WE need to be that something that brings the ship back to the light.

The Septiplier ship ran into a harsh, big storm and we have to work together to get it out onto the right path.

I want this ship to how it started, where everybody shipped it for fun, and we didn’t attack other ships. Not saying all of us attack other ships, its just some Septiplier shippers actually do attack, I’ve seen it.

Because the more smut and hardcore shippers that join this ship, the more Mark and Jack have to be cautious.


AND THEY’RE ALREADY PRETTY FAR APART AND CAUTIOUS.

They’re not sinking the ship.

They’re warning us to fuckin fix ourselves and the flaws of this ship, before its too late.

And honestly, Septiplier isn’t just a ship anymore, its a community that needs some fixing. Its also a place where Mark and Jack fans join together. Because Mark and Jack have a beautiful bond thats brought their communities together. And lets not break that bond.

Because Whats better?

Don’t do anything and Mark and Jack grow farther apart on camera.

Or fix our ship, bring it back to the light, and have Mark and Jack be able to have things normal again.

Now, how?

Well, all hardcore [smut, sex related] shippers and people who believe they’re gay have to stop. (Or keep the smut as far away as possible)

Its not right or polite and Mark and Jack wouldn’t appreciate or even consider you a fan at all if you continue.

Ship Septiplier as a bromance, or in a fluffy cute way, nothing too extreme like sex, or kinky shit.

I know this isn’t how Mark and Jack really act with each other, they most likely do a bunch of shit together off camera where we don’t ruin their fun.

We can fix this ship.

We just have to try.

I want Septiplier to become peaceful and happy again.

Because Jack used to be a fan of Mark. He started his channel because of Mark.

And even though they’re on different parts of the world, Mark managed to find a worthy person on YouTube who derserves so much more. And that was Jack.

They’ve been through a lot, from meeting in person for the first time, becoming great friends, to having a happy little ship.

Lets bring it back to those times. Mark and Jack don’t need to change. We need to.

Lets bring the happiness back in Septiplier.

And ships like Jelix or Pewdieplier, don’t become like this ship, don’t go too far. Don’t make YouTubers become seperate by their own fans.

Mark and Jack have done so much for us, now lets do something for them.


I know we can do this.

Lets fix Septiplier.

Update: For Cringemas I wasn’t able to watch the first part but I saw that Mark and Jack agreed Septiplier as a ship was pretty bad this year in that part. And that right there is why we need to fix this ship. They know this ship is getting worse. If 2016 was Septiplier’s bad year, lets makes 2017 Septiplier’s rebirth into the light. Thanks to everybody who wants this ship better, I appreciate it so much! Now I know we can really do this. In 2017, we’ll fix Septiplier. Together. [Lol a PS: I understand the people who say that we should let septiplier die, but remember they’re are still fans and hard-core shippers who will start drama and shit. I wish it can be that easy, but right now, fixing the ship and opening people’s eyes seems like the best option, thank you💕]
Distant

Note: I’M SO SORRY THIS IS LATE! please, don’t hate me, omg. also, I’m sorry if it sucks. :( I really hope you like it, darling. ♥ thanks for the request. feedback is welcome! .c

Request: Could you write one where the reader is married to SEB and something goes wrong and the relationship turns critical please 😊💞 Maybe like she or he travels too much and they don’t get to much time to see each other so often. - @chimera4plums

Originally posted by b-n-a-o


Marriage requires time, effort, dedication, and undying love for the other person; it’s all mutual. At the start of your relationship with Sebastian, you both had everything. You were joined at the hip, happy, bonded, and connected. He was your rock, your inspiration, the person who kept you humble in the mainstream media. You were the same for him. So, he proposed and you accepted.

You two met on the set of a movie about three years ago. It was a fantasy made reality, everyone knew you two were meant to be, just by the way you would look at each other. But lately, things have been tense. Your time has been spent on your new movie that you’re also directing. It’s a dream of yours and it’s coming true, but something is missing. Your time with your favorite person in the world. But it’s hard for him, too, since he’s working on a movie himself. Now that you have a week off for vacation, you planned on going home to see him and making things right. He said he should be off for a week, so it worked out perfectly. Communication has been at an all time low and you knew your marriage was falling apart silently. Anytime you spoke to Sebastian, he was distant. And it hurt. It always left you feeling empty.


You walked up the steps to your apartment you shared with Sebastian and adjusted your duffel bag on your shoulder while pulling along your suitcase. You shoved your key in the doorknob and kicked it open, making your way inside. “Seb?” You called out, setting your luggage down by the door with a huff. Why did I bring so much stuff for just a week? You asked yourself.

The apartment was silent, only the light hum of the refrigerator sounded through the apartment. You frowned as you looked around, noticing it was fairly clean, as if nobody had been occupying it. Isn’t Sebastian supposed to be home? You grabbed your phone out of your jacket pocket and called Sebastian.

After a few rings, you were ready to hang up. But he finally answered and sounded a tad frustrated. “Hey, Y/N.” Sebastian said, sighing. You bit your lip nervously. “Hey, Seb. I’m-I’m home. Where are you?” You asked softly. “Wait, you’re home?” Sebastian asked, completely ignoring your question.

You scoffed a tad and shook your head, fiddling with your wedding ring. “I have a break. A week off. I decided to come home and spend it with you. I thought you were on a break, too.” You said, feeling your stomach churn at the groan he let out. “Y/N, I can’t come home this week. I’m busting my ass off. We’re wrapping up the movie today.” Sebastian said with a little more frustration in his tone; you knew he was shaking his head.

The empty feeling you’ve had before returned. “Oh.” You said, sitting in Sebastian’s favorite chair. “Well, I could come see you.” You offered, frowning a little. Sebastian sighed. “Are you sure?” He asked a little softer now. 

A small smile spread across your face. “Well, yeah. I mean, I haven’t unpacked yet. You’re in Atlanta, right?” You asked, putting him on speaker to look up quick flights to Atlanta. 

“Yeah, I’ll have to see you at the hotel, though. I’ll be a little late getting in.” Sebastian explained, his voice returning to its distant sound. “Okay, I’ll see you in a few hours.” You said with a small smile. “Alright. Love you, bye.” Sebastian cut his line before you could say anything else and you sighed, staring at your screen until it went off.

Deciding not to waste anymore time, you quickly bought a plane ticket and left your apartment with your bags, calling your bodyguard for a ride to the airport. On your way there, you asked Sebastian for the hotel he was staying at so you could settle in. It would be close to dinnertime, so you would be able to order room service for the two of you.

By the time you reached the airport, you still hadn’t gotten a reply from Sebastian. Telling yourself he was busy, you let it go. You had a few hours to kill and he should reply before then. At least you hoped he would.


You finally landed at the airport with your bodyguard and was met with flashing cameras and screaming paparazzi. You smiled and waved at the cameras, never finding them to be a bother. “Out of the way! Let her through!” John yelled, keeping his arm wrapped around your shoulders. Passing by a few fans, you wanted to stop and take photos, but John wouldn’t have it.

Making your way out of the airport, you were rushed into a black van. You sighed and John climbed inside. “Thanks, John.” You said, giving him a small smile. “My job, girly. So, where to?” He asked. 

You gasped and totally forgot about checking your phone for any texts from Sebastian. Your smile returned when you read that he was staying at the Omni hotel in room 113. Giving the address to John, he pulled away from the airport and made his way there. 

You quickly messaged Sebastian back, telling him you were on your way to the hotel. You waited patiently, looking at the city around you through the window. You hoped you would be able to spend a little time with Sebastian; sometimes it’s just hard with all the traveling and movie business. And when he’s being distant.

John pulled up to the hotel and you were thankful it wasn’t as hectic as the airport. You quickly got out, asked for Sebastian’s room after telling the lady you were his wife (to which she freaked out, being a huge fan of you both), and now you were putting your bags down. John was staying in the room across from you, so you felt safe being in the hotel without Sebastian.

You checked your phone and Sebastian had replied. 

Seb: 10pm at the latest.
You: That’s okay, dear! Maybe I can order room service for us? What sounds good?
Seb: I actually bought food for the whole crew. I’m gonna be eating here.

You smiled at how kind and sweet your husband was. That’s what you brought you close to him in the beginning. A part of you was sad you wouldn’t be able to sit down and eat with him, even if it was room service. You missed those moments with Sebastian. 

You: Well, that’s okay! Send my congratulations around! I’ll see you soon. I love you.
Seb: Love you.

You sighed and set your phone down on the table in the living space. You pulled your bags to the master bedroom and smiled when you inhaled the hint of Sebastian’s cologne lingering in the air. You missed it so much. And you couldn’t help but feel the distance between you and Sebastian weigh down on you again.

After calling room service, you had enough time to take a quick shower and change into some comfortable clothes. Your body was pretty tired and all you wanted was to see Sebastian. Hopefully he really wanted to see you in return. Even though he said you could come see him, something tugged at your intuition saying he didn’t want you to.

Two hours later when 10pm rolled around, you heard the door to the hotel room open. “Seb!” You squealed, rushing over to him. You wrapped your arms around him and felt his arms wrap loosely around your body. “Y/N, hi.” He whispered, rubbing your back.

You pulled away and smiled up at him. He looked tired, his eyes dropping a little, and you frowned. “Aw, rough day?” You asked, watching Sebastian move past you and into the bedroom. You followed behind him and bit your lip nervously. “It was okay. Stressful.” He said as he sat on the bed to untie his boots. Nodding, you leaned against the door frame.

Sebastian took his button up shirt off, revealing a white tank underneath. “Are you sad that filming is over? Was it fun?” You asked, noticing his brows are creased. He sighed and rested his hands on his thighs. “Y/N, enough with the questions. I’m really tired.” Sebastian snapped, turning his head to look at you.

Your heart sank in your chest and you curled your lips into your mouth, biting down on them. You sighed and nodded. “S-sorry, I’ll uh, leave you to settle in.” You said, backing away from the door. “Thank you.” Sebastian muttered, getting up to go to the bathroom. The emptiness came back in the pit of your stomach and you sat on the couch in the living space, flipping on the television.

The shower turned on and you usually would’ve joined Sebastian, but he clearly needed some space. Feeling like a burden now, you pulled your legs up to your chest and blindly watched the News.

When Sebastian finally got finished for the night, he joined you on the couch. He sat at the other end, far apart from you. Normally you’d sit against him with his arm around your shoulders. The silence was deafening and you couldn’t handle it anymore. You knew one of you would break soon, and you didn’t want it to end badly. A sigh fell from your lips and Sebastian’s head turned towards you.

You looked at him and he gave you a tight lipped smile. “What’s wrong?” He asked, slumping in the cushions. You shook your head and looked down at your hands in your lap. “Come on, Y/N. You seem mad at me or something.” Sebastian said with an eye roll. Your eyebrows creased. “I’m not mad.” You said, looking over at him.

He scoffed and crossed his arms. “You always say that.” He whispered, a sigh falling from his lips this time as he turned his attention back to the News, his jaw clenched. You eyed him for a moment because he’s the one who seems mad at you, not the other way around.

Your stomach churned and your mouth fell open a tad. “What’s that supposed to mean?” You questioned, facing your body towards Sebastian, resting your arm over the back of the couch. He looked over at you and shrugged.

Sebastian stood up and walked to the bedroom and you followed after him. “Hello, I asked a question. ” You said, watching him slip into bed. He sat up and shook his head. “Y/N, just drop it.” Sebastian said lowly. You scoffed and stepped closer into the bedroom. 

“I will not! I know you feel the distance between us! And not talking to me isn’t helping.” Your voice raised a little and you really didn’t want to wake up the other guests. Sebastian’s eyes flickered to yours. “I’m tired.” He stated as if it were the only reason for being this way.

“That’s bullshit. It may be true, but it’s been like this since I left to work on my movie.” You said with a groan, running your hands over your face. The room fell silent for a moment. “Just drop it.” He said before lying down on his side. “No! We need to talk about this!” You said, your voice raising again.

A heavy sigh fell from his lips and he sat up again, his eyes staring right into yours. “I said DROP IT. I want to sleep! I wrapped up a movie today, I have a meeting with my agent and an interview tomorrow. The last thing I need is you chewing my ass off the night before!” Sebastian yelled, his veins popping in his neck.

You flinched at the tone of his voice and tears brimmed your eyes. “Seb, I have a week off from my movie, that I’m not only in but I’m directing. I chose to see you; my HUSBAND! You said you’d be off, too!” You yelled back as your voice shook slightly. Sebastian groaned and ran his hand through his hair.

“Well, I’m sorry it didn’t work out that way! I’m busy!” Sebastian yelled, raising his arms up in the air. Your bottom lip quivered as you stared at Sebastian. The atmosphere was tense and you could feel the hole in your chest growing. “Why’d you even tell me to come here if you didn’t have the time in the first place?” You yelled, your voice cracking at the end.

Sebastian shrugged his shoulders at you, his eyebrows raised. “I honestly don’t know! I’m too busy; I have things to do. If you want to leave, then leave! I’m honestly too tired to care.” Sebastian fired, his words making your tears fall freely. “You want me to go?” You whispered, shifting on your feet. Not giving him time to answer, you walked over to your bags and picked them up. “Fine.” You scoffed.

You hadn’t unpacked, seeing that Sebastian’s clothes occupied the dressers, which was fine. You were wearing pajamas, but you didn’t care. You just wanted to get out of there. Sebastian stayed quiet, watching you walk towards the bedroom door again. You turned to Sebastian and sniffled. “I’m sorry I got in the way. Clearly this has put on strain on us, so. Goodbye, Sebastian.” You whispered, gripping your bags in your hands.

A sharp breath fell from his lips as you walked away. You slung your duffel over your shoulder and grabbed your phone, pulling your suitcase behind you. Your throat burned and your heart was racing in your chest.

Waiting by the door for a moment longer, you didn’t see or hear any sign of Sebastian getting out of bed to stop you. Glancing at your wedding ring, you held back more tears.

You opened the door and left, deciding to get a different room. John was probably sleeping and it was late at night, so choosing another hotel or leaving just when you got here wasn’t on your list. You had your first fight with Sebastian, and now you were leaving him, unsure of what to do. Tears fell from your eyes and blurred your vision, the gnawing pain in your chest worsening.

Pressing the open button to the elevator, you stepped in and pressed the lobby button. The doors started closing, but an arm stopped them just shy of being squished. You looked up from your slippers and saw Sebastian. His eyes were red and puffy, his hands quickly pulling you out of the elevator. “What are you doing?” You asked, wiping at your cheeks.

Sebastian took your bags and set them in the hallway. You watched him closely and he was breathing heavily. “Don’t go.” Sebastian said as he turned to you, his tone far different from a few moments ago. Your eyebrows creased and you shook your head. “Seb, I don’t know what to do.” You said, your eyes filling with tears again.

Sebastian stepped towards you, his hands holding onto your cheeks. “I don’t either. But I know that I don’t want you to leave and I know how distant I’ve become. Please, don’t give up on us. Please, I’m begging you.” Sebastian said, his watery blue eyes staring into yours. You sniffled and nodded.

Sebastian pulled you into his body tightly, his arms wrapping around you. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come. You’re busy, I should still go.” You said, your voice muffled by his chest. 

He pulled away and looked down at you, shaking his head. “Stay. I want you here. I just-it’s hard not having you around; it takes a toll on me, baby. I’m so sorry.” Sebastian breathed, his hands moving up your arms, to your cheeks.

A sigh fell from your lips and Sebastian wiped away the wetness on your cheeks. “I know, I don’t like being away from you either. But being distant and now arguing, what does that solve?” You asked, your hands gently grasping onto Sebastian’s sides. “We’ll figure it out, I promise.” Sebastian said as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

You nodded again, letting Sebastian grab your bags and your left hand, walking you both back to his hotel room. He led you inside and dropped your bags, kicking the door shut gently with his foot. You turned to face Sebastian and he swooped in and held your waist before pressing his lips against yours. You made a sound of surprise before kissing him back, your hands tangling in his hair.

Sebastian picked you up by your waist and carried you to the bedroom, gently putting you on the bed. You smiled as he pulled away and climbed in beside you. Sebastian’s arms pulled you into his chest and you sighed. “I love you, Y/N.” Sebastian mumbled against your head as his hands rubbed against your back.

“I love you, too.” You whispered, allowing yourself to fall asleep in Sebastian’s arms.

Note: I hope you like this. I feel like it sucks, a lot. feedback is welcome! .c

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The Mysterious Girl (Loki Laufeyson x Reader)

Request: Hi can a request a fluffy Loki x reader fic where the reader is in a situation where she cannot talk often (maybe her voice causes glass to crack and shatter and people to fall unconscious) instead she uses actions to convey her feelings. when Loki arrives with his brother for redemption he tries to get her to talk by annoying her to no avail. They’re alone one time and the reader snaps telling him to stop; he falls unconscious and she cares for him until he comes to. Please and thank you!!

Requested By: Anonymous

Word Count: 1, 988

Warnings: None (I think)

A/N: First Loki imagine, wooo! I hope you all enjoy, especially all you Loki fans out there. It was a refreshing change to write about him, so I’m glad I got the chance! If you would like to be added to my Tag List for all future updates, just let me know! FYI, (Y/E/C) means ‘your eye color.’ Enjoy!

Tag List: @mp938368 @gcneral-organa @thatgirlsar @jumperswellies @quicksoldier @kitkatgaming @marvelfandom-stuff @itsmaytimetosaygoodbye @agentraven007 @marvelgoateecollection @thaniya82

MASTERLIST

Originally posted by avengers-of-mirkwood

Loki was not happy. Not happy at all. Why wasn’t he happy? Because he was on Midguard. And what was wrong with being on Midguard? Thor, his brother was there. And he was stuck with him.

“Brother, do not worry. I’m sure that my comrades will not hate you. That much,” Thor comforted, slapping his brother on the back.

Stumbling forward, Loki looked back at his brother and scowled. “Oh, yes. I’m sure those mortals just love me after all that I did.”

Sighing, Thor looked at his brother. “You knew not what you were doing. Besides, you are repentant.”

“Am I?” Loki sassed back, earning a disapproving look from the ‘better’ sibling.

“Well, you will be. At least once they are through with you.”

Rolling his eyes, Loki trudged along beside his brother, looking up at the building. Sure, it was impressive for Midguard standards, but not for Asgard. If that was even his home anymore.

“Welcome, to the Avengers,” Thor announced, pushing open the glass doors with ease.

This will be just great, Loki thought to himself as he followed his oaf of a brother inside.


Well, could be going a lot worse, Loki thought as his brother’s teammates glared down at him.

“Why do we have to keep him here again?” Clint asked through gritted teeth, glaring at Loki. Hand tight on his bow, he never removed his eyes from the god.

“Look, I’m not excited about reindeer games being here either,” Tony grumbled.

“But there is no other option, apparently,” Nat finished the sentence, remembering all too well what she had to do to her best friend to get him out of his head.

“He is my brother,” Thor started, looking them all down. “You will be courteous to him, even if he is deserving of your hatred and spite.”

“He destroyed New York with an alien army,” Steve said, glaring at Loki.

“And tried to take over the world,” Bruce added.

“He’s adopted,” Thor said sheepishly, to which Loki rolled his eyes. Bored, Loki began to look over his foes- allies. Most of them Loki remembered. Some, were new. Like the man with the metal arm, the red man, the girl with glowing-red eyes, and many more. As Loki skimmed over his subjects- friends, his eyes landed on one girl in particular. She was odd, but not in the bad sense. She was odd in the sense that she was quiet, odd in the sense that she distanced herself from others. Curious, Loki continued to look at her, until she noticed and began blushing prominently. Her eyes darted towards Clint, and he saw immediately.

“You stay away from her,” Clint almost growled, moving in front of the odd girl. Loki did not care though. He was intrigued by this girl and wanted to know more. Wanted to know what she liked and disliked, why she was here. One way or another, Loki was going to know that girl.


Two months have passed since Loki arrived at the Avengers compound, and things were a little better. The others were talking to him now, and Loki wasn’t sure if he liked it or not. The company was nice from time to time, when they weren’t glaring at him. Loki always brushed them off though. Some people just don’t understand that he had changed.

Mainly, for her.

Loki had tried everything to talk to the girl. Anytime that he nearly got close to even saying hello, the mother hen swooped in between them.

“No way,” Clint growled one day, standing in front of the girl once more.

“I just want to talk to her, I’m not bad anymore,” Loki had pleaded.

Laughing, Clint shook his head. “Yeah. I’ll believe it when I see it. And good luck talking to her anyway, she-”

But before the mother hen could even finish his sentence, the girl had tapped on his shoulder. The girl had obviously communicated to the arrow man, Loki just did not understand how. She didn’t move her lips, but rather her hands. When Loki first saw this, he thought she was doing magic.

“Are you a sorceress?” Loki had asked in amazement, to which Clint glared him down, offended.

“Out.” He demanded, and Loki quickly made his way out, not wanting to find out what would happen to him if mother hen got any angrier.

So Loki’s quest to talk to the mysterious girl continued, always trying to get close to her. Over the two months that he had been there, he had learned three things about the beautiful and mysterious girl:

1) She did not like mornings. Her face scrunched up in the cutest of ways whenever she was woken up before 9 a.m.

2) Her favorite color was green, or so Loki assumed. She always wore some article of green, whether it be the oversized green sweatshirt she stole from the man with the metal arm or her green shoes, which she wore everywhere. 

3) She loved movies, more than life itself apparently. Whenever Loki was looking for her to talk to her (before mother hen showed up), she was sitting in the room with the screen, a different movie on it each time he saw her. Some days it would be little cartoons dancing and singing across the screen, others it would be miniature people falling in love. Without fail though, Loki noticed that every Friday night she watched the same movie, over and over. One with a half fish-half human hybrid and her colorful fish friends.

With each new little tidbit of information about the girl, Loki grew more and more interested. Loki not only thought about her all day, but even dreamed about being able to talk to the beautiful girl, face to face. Just when Loki was about to give up on all hope of ever speaking to the girl, a bit of luck was finally in Loki’s favor.

The heroic team was heading off on a mission, one where they needed almost every member, except for the mysterious girl. Loki, jumping at the opportunity to speak with her, helped pack everyone’s bags that night. To the team, he seemed just a bit too happy.

“Are you sure we can leave him here, Thor?” Steve had asked, glancing at Loki.

“Believe it or not, he is acting a lot better,” Thor commented as he put everyone’s luggage onto the quinjet.

“Yes, but he will be here all alone,” Tony added. The girl, apparently did not like that for she stomped her foot in defiance.

Thor had saw her little foot stomp and smiled. “He will not be alone, (Y/N) will be here.”

Aha! Her name! Loki thought, adding another piece to the puzzle.

Laughing, Clint put his supplies in the quinjet. “Yeah, if anyone can handle him, it's  (Y/N).”

This seemed to have made (Y/N) happy, for she nodded her head in triumph.

“I’ll be good,” Loki started, causing everyone to look at him. “Promise.”

“We shall see, brother,” Thor said, clapping his hand on his brother’s shoulder, causing Loki to lose his footing for a moment. “If not, well, you’ll be in for a shock. (Y/N), take care of him for me. Don’t let him get into too much mischief.”

(Y/N) smiled and nodded at Thor, waving the team goodbye.

“That’s no fair,” Loki grumbled to himself. “I’m the god of mischief. It’s literally what I do.”


As soon as the quinjet had disappeared over the horizon, (Y/N) had went back into the compound. Not wanting to lose her in the maze of halls and corridors, Loki followed right after her.

“So,” Loki started, falling into step with her. “Just you and me.”

All she did was quirk up an eyebrow at him before continuing on her way.

“Right. Silent treatment. Well, that has never stopped me before,” Loki continued as he followed her into the room with the screen. Lighting up at the opportunity, Loki walked over to the shelves full of discs.

“Shall we watch one?” Loki asked, digging through the movies. “I’ve never actually seen one of these ‘movies.’ What do you recommend?”

He was met with silence. Smile faltering a bit, because literally the girl of his dreams would not talk to him, he turned back to the shelf. Finding something somewhat familiar, Loki held out the case to her. “How about this?”

Looking back, her whole face lit up and she nodded enthusiastically, causing Loki to smile. “Okay,” Loki said, looking at the title before putting the disc into the strange contraption. “The Little Mermaid it is.”

Moving towards the couch, Loki sat down next to her. Trying to control his breathing, he constantly found himself looking at (Y/N) throughout the movie, committing every detail of her to memory. Loki did this so often that he ended up missing the movie.

“Wait, why is the fish-girl having problems with her father?” Loki asked. No answer.

“Why is the crab singing to her? Life is not better down where it’s wetter. You’re wet all the time. Plus there are sharks, nasty little creatures. Worst than bildshnipe, I hear. Or at least Thor tells me.” No answer.

“OH NO, A SHARK!” No answer.

“Don’t go near the evil squid lady. Why would you go near the evil squid lady?” No answer.

All this time, (Y/N) never answered. She did seem to be getting more and more annoyed, though.

“Wait, why does she need to kiss the Prince? To get her voice back? That is highly unlikely, magic does not work like-”

“WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP ALREADY?!” The girl shouted. A ringing noise sounded through the room, and before Loki even knew it, he was out cold.


Blinking away the black spots in his vision, Loki was met with a pounding headache. Staring up at the ceiling, Loki started to feel alarmed until he felt something moving through his hair. Looking around, Loki was soon met with the most beautiful pair of (Y/E/C) eyes he had ever seen. What made them even more beautiful was that they were your eyes.

“What happened?” Loki groaned, trying to sit up. He was soon pushed back down by (Y/N) so that his head lay on her lap. She held up a finger as if to say ‘one moment’ and grabbed the nearest notebook and pen she could find. Sprawling out her message with one hand and combing through his hair with the other, she finally had written out her message:

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to knock you out. I’m an enhanced and my voice knocks people out, especially when I yell. I didn’t mean to make you pass out.’

Reading the message, Loki began to smile. “It’s alright, Love. You didn’t mean to. I’m just glad that we are finally communicating.”

Blushing at his words, she began to write out another message.

‘I get that, now. I mean, who talks during a movie?’

It was Loki’s turn to blush now as he read your note. “Sorry, I am not familiar with proper movie etiquette. But I’d love to learn.”

Smiling, she wrote down her next message.

'I’d love to teach you, if you gave me a chance. Then you can ask all the questions you want, whether about me or the movie.’

“Sounds absolutely, perfect, Love,” Loki said with a smile. The pounding in his head had finally stopped, and Loki was able to sit up now, but he didn’t want to leave her gentle caresses just yet.

'Can you sit back up yet?’ She wrote out, quirking another eyebrow up at him.

“No,” Loki lied. “Not yet. Still hurts.” She nodded at his answer and continued to card her fingers through his black hair, leaving Loki in a bliss. Well, he was the god of mischief, after all. What else was he going to do, except lie a little to stay with the girl of his dreams?

Behind Closed Doors | One

Originally posted by sugaglos

Read the texts here first to understand what’s happening!

Next Chapter

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Mature Content (Cursing, Drinking, Smoking)

A/N: Unedited, I’m really trying you guys to write these chapters at lighting speed!

Week One

It was surprising how one person could manage to be so evil you could feel the intensity through the screen of your phone. You weren’t scared, oh no you were not scared you were terrified for your life and you couldn’t move, you could only stay frozen on your be. He was always watching you. 

He owned you. 

That was more terrifying to you than being watched, being owned by someone meant that you had no free will, no mind of your own, your body was not yours now. Everything you did would be under his watch. You hated Jaebum, you fucking hated him now. 

What were you to do now? Going back home on Sunday was not an option to you, but what the hell could you do? Going to the police was a no because he would know and he would no doubt kill you. Or maybe he wouldn’t and he’d lock you downstairs in the basement.

What the fuck were you going to do?

It was Sunday, he gave you two days to prepare yourself to be owned by him. Every hour he would send you ‘comforting’ texts, messages of endearment, and warnings of what you were to do when Sunday came around. He was a confusing man, always has been since the beginning of time. One minute he was caressing your skin and the next he turned into a raging psychopath (not that he already wasn’t).

Part of you left him because of his involvement in the mafia, part of you left him because of the way he was so unstable as a person. He knew he was unstable mentally, he spoke about his whole life one night as you two stared up at the ceiling, he had gone through some traumatic shit. He’s a strong person, too strong for his own good. Giving that much power to a mad man will turn the world upside down.

Keep reading

High School AU (Ethan x Fem!Reader)

Originally posted by crankgimplez


Freshman Year

  • After meeting each other in English I, you two were connected by the hips.
  • He would always walk you to class, to your locker and your dad’s car.
  • You automatically had a crush on him.
  • You actually saw what happen when he did a backflip in the hallway and almost hit the sprinkler system with his shoe. You never lived that down on him.
  • “I can’t believe you almost set off the sprinklers.”
  •  “Can you stop talking about it?”
  •  "Not until they fix the hole in the ceiling.“
  •   He was your go-to study buddy even though he was mostly focused on gymnastics and youtube.
  • “Hey, did you do the essay for English?”
  •  “WE HAD AN ESSAY!”

Sophomore year

  •    After he quit gymnastics, he joined the drama club while you were on the debate team.
  • Even though you didn’t have classes this year, you always hang out at lunch or after school with his friend Andrew.
  • He would try to help you with your advanced classes but give up after dying of boredom.
  •    “LET’S PLAY VIDEO GAMES!”
  •   “I HAVE AN AP TEST COMING UP!”
  •  “BUT VIDEO GAMES ARE MORE IMPORTANT!”
  •    You love watching him do improv and he sometimes makes you do it.
  •   He also loves watching you debate at tournaments, seeing you all passionate about something you didn’t really care about was interesting to him.
  •  Still having to remind him about homework.
  • “I wasn’t listening, I was too busy doodling.”

Junior year

  • The two of you sorta drifted away for the summer since he was traveling with his dad and focusing on his youtube channel.
  • You still did small talk but you barely hang out like you used to.
  • You were focused on college and test scores but he still popped up in your head.
  •  Your crush on Ethan worsen but you rarely saw him.
  • You saw him walking with a girl a few times and your heart was crushed.
  • You just stop making eye contact with him and changed routes to class.
  • You were studying in the library when you saw him studying.
  • I put your hoodie on and hid in the back.
  •  “So, are we not friends anymore?’
  • The first thing you see when you look up was a pair of hazel eyes.
  •  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.
  • “We need to talk about this.”
  • You ended up talking about how you’ve been feeling lately besides you have a crush on him.
  • “Well, how about we hang out this weekend.”
  • "I’ll love too.”

Senior Year

  •  "What if I didn’t get accepted?“ ”[Y/N], SHUT UP. YOU GOT ACCEPTED.“
  • That’s how most of your conversations went with Ethan.
  • Driving around the small city with him
  • You started appearing more on his channel to the point that his fans love you more.
  • “SHE’S NOT EVEN PLAYING THE GAMES HALF THE TIMES! HOW CAN YOU LOVE HER MORE THAN ME!?”
  •  “Give the people what they want and let me have your channel. WHAT IS UP MY CRANKY CREW!”
  •  “YOU’RE NOT SAYING IT RIGHT!”
  • Ethan being there for you when you get accepted into your dream school in California.
  • You both try to spend as much time with each other now that you’re moving across the country.
  • Going to prom together with a huge group of friends.
  • His mom making you two take a whole bunch of photos together.
  • “Mom, we need to go…”
  • “One more picture!”
  • Graduation was the hardest thing for you.
  • It was all or nothing if you didn’t tell Ethan how you feel.
  • You went straight to him after the ceremony was done.
  • “Look, I’m just going to let it-“
  • Ethan just pulled you into a kiss like in the movies.
  • “I really like you.”
  •  “Ditto.”

Present-day

  • You’re a part of Teamiplier now!
  • Once Ethan moved to L.A, he was able to get you a job as co- creative director, which was his way of saying that you’re Tyler’s helper.
  • “So, I’m an assistant?”
  • "No, you’re the co-creative director.”
  • “So, Tyler’s assistant?”
  • Now, Mark’s fans love you more than him.
  • Kathryn, Amy and you were basically the three amigos.
  • Mark and Tyler are like you big brothers who always tease you because of your height.
  • “WHO PUT MY MUG ON THE TOP SHELF?”
  • “Wasn’t me….”
  • Always playing with Chica while every else is working.
  • “[Y/N], I need you to go get some things for the video.”
  • “Don’t you see I’m busy, Tyler…”
  • “You’re playing with Chica….”
  • You’re grateful that you can experience this with your boyfriend.

I know it’s freaking long but I just wanted to say thank you for all the birthday love, I freaking love you guys, it really made my day! Also, we’re about to hit 500 followers and I can’t believe it! I feel like I don’t deserve all this love and kindness from this community but thank you so much! I’m sorry if this isn’t what you guys want but I am going to write more since I’m almost done with my classes and I’ll see y’all later!

Hello everyone! Before I start I wanted to thank you for your time to read this all, I know it’s a lot to take in. Weather you are kin yourself, have no idea what it is, or even if you dislike it, the fact that you are willing to make an attempt to understand is a gift indeed!

Kin has had a bad name, and it’s poorly explained I’ve seen too many times. It also isn’t the most liked group of individuals. In fact, a lot of blogs refuse to even interact with them. I used to hate kin with a passion, until I sat down and tried to understand it and learned for myself it wasn’t at all something negative! So sit back and prepare for a class on Kin!

The whole idea of Kin is tied to the belief of the multi-universe theory and reincarnation. The term ‘kin’ comes from the Celtic world meaning ‘remember’ because kin are people who remember their past lives!
The multiverse theory is the idea that our universe is not the only one, but one that is parallel to an infinite number of universes. These universes can be vastly different, but also could be our with the slightest difference down to just how a tree grew 2 inches more left, crazy to think about how many there are right? This being said, this means there can be universes that mermaids exist, or that hogwarts was a real place! This sounds extremely far fetched I know since this can include universes based on all FAKE AND FICTION. Consider this if you may then; all of these universes seep into another in several ways, and we don’t always understand them. The fourth wall, the page in the book, even an idea of a story or character are like a tunnel we see with our universe on one end and the other universe on the other end.

“Well that’s not true, this _____ was created by this person!” Yes that is true, all credit should go to the creators of these works. But these ideas have to come from somewhere right? The creators of these things can be the tunnels, being the one which we are able to perceive this universe in our universe, like watching a television or reading a book. Every universe that will ever exist have already existed, such as the example of being APH America kin, before Himaruya was even writing about Hetalia, the universe already existed, he was just able to see it before others! And through that universe it was seen in our universe through his mind, and from his mind to his hand and then his pencil. See what I mean? Cracks in our universe to let us see other universes aren’t always going to be cracks.

We also incorporate the idea of reincarnation, that we are reborn. We had a past life, perhaps as a squirrel or as an angel. If energy can not be created or destroyed, then it must travel. Travel from one life to the next, and sometimes from one universe to another. We call it past life to make it easier to explain, but universes aren’t tied to one timeline, you could have lived that past life long ago, or perhaps haven’t yet, time is a messy thing, but space is even more so!☆
So…we understand the background a little, what exactly does being kin mean? How do you know your kin? These are frequently asked questions with answers I have! It is not a choice who you are kin with, just like choosing who you are isn’t a choice or your sexuality isn’t a choice. “I really like this character so I’m gonna be that character lol” is NOT real kin. Naturally you’ll like yourself obviously have an attraction to that character but you do not chose. How you discover you are kin is by receiving memories of your past life being that person, animal, etc. You also get feelings or emotions that feel out of place and not yours, initiated by something that reminded you subconsciously of your past experiences.

The troubles of being kin is being smart and taking in the consideration of “is this a real memory or is it just my imagination”. kin people who seem to have endless 'memories’ might just be someone who has lots of head canons, which is why it’s always important not to let you'r emotions control your mind and analyze yourself and the possible memory! If you didn’t question being kin and not crazy then you really need to analyze yourself, since you need to keep your logic.

Kin is not a coping mechanism. Kin is not a coping mechanism. KIN IS NOT A COPING MECHANISM. people who claim that it is are not understanding kin correctly. Saying it’s a coping mechanism is claiming that none of it is real to you at all, and you damage the community name. While yes kin can help you as a person grow, but that is just a side effect, not it’s purpose. Kin doesn’t have any set purpose, but for each person to just remember the past.

Whats worse then calling kin a coping mechanism?
KIN
ISN’T
A
GENDER.
The worst thing ever to say kin is, is a gender. You can not sexually identify as a person, or “I sexuality identify as a wolf” wolf is NOT a gender. AMERICA is not a gender. Kin is a PAST LIFE. Those who claim it to be a gender are the worst of our kind. “I sexually identify as an apatchi attack helicopter” is why we are hated is because people make us hated for this reason.

As I said before, kin memories are used to help someonr as a person grow, which brings me to my closing explanation, what do kin do? The challenge that kin face is getting over the fact that they aren’t who they once was. It’s a struggle for many to accept they aren’t that anymore. What does this boil down to? ~Believing in yourself~ that the you, here and now, are better then you were before. You remember your past life but you also have to learn from it. You made mistakes and you learned things in that life that can be continued in this one, such as values and things you devolved in the past life that now are yours with a whole new life to start! Isn’t that amazing? A new life just for you to start, so don’t ever waste it obsessing over your last one okay?

Another big problem is people forcing their kin identity onto others. It’s like getting into a strangers face and yelling “I’M TRANSGENDER” because the stranger doesn’t need to know, the stranger doesn’t care. Strangers on Tumblr too, you can post about it, but actively trying to force others to accept you isn’t going to work, and only damage your chances. Plus, your memories are really personal, fun to share but they are still special and sacred, keep them special.

In summary, kin is misunderstood and disliked for good reason, but represent the community in a way you want us to be viewed. Let people ask you about your kin, not go to them and tell. Learn to leave the past in the past, and above all else, enjoy this life as your only and last.♡

(Please reblog so others can learn and be aware? Even if you’re not kin it would be so appreciated!)

Analysis of VKM12

Disclaimer: My opinion of Zero and Yuuki’s relationship the past several chapters has fallen on the critical side and my meta for this chapter will be building upon that interpretation.

Key Points of Interest

  • The chapter starts with an unknown narrator, a first for both this series and the original. (Someone from Kaname’s future, perhaps?)
  • The narrator more or less confirms that the children focused on more positive stories to share with Kaname because of their considerate nature (pg. 3)
  • This also implies that the stories he’s been told have at times been censored for his benefit
  • But future Kaname wants to understand the sacrifices that led to the peaceful scene he witnessed in the coexistence country and wants more than fluffy memories (pg. 10)
  • This is the first chapter where Kaname wasn’t fixating on Yuuki but instead confused about why she wouldn’t want him to know how this life became possible for him.
  • Aidou’s cure is still failing despite his supposed breakthrough with Kaien’s genes in the previous chapters
  • Aidou feels that Yori brought out the good in him and without her begins considering darker alternatives to his goal (pg. 19, 20)
  • Aidou suspects Zero is pushing himself too much at work and not taking care of his own life (pg. 22, 23, 24)
  • Yuuki is still monitoring Zero with her butterflies and was witness to at least the tail end of his conversation with Aidou (pg. 26)
  • Kaien has been given a terminal diagnosis and is taking care of something for (I assume) Juri that he neglected to do before. (pg. 27)
  • Yuuki and Zero’s relationship is no longer official, implying that something happened for them to call it off again (pg. 28)
  • Yuuki says it’s so natural for her and Zero to be together that no one can change it, which is the same realization Kaname came to at the end of the original series (pg. 29)
  • A new antagonist appears, wanting to be known as the king of the vampires (pg. 34)
  • Yuuki and Zero are back to sleeping in their own homes, (pg. 28) but Yuuki still asks Zero to stay the night, implying that he is the reason this time and not her (pg. 36)
  • When Yuuki asks about sleeping together, Zero says it’s not that he doesn’t want to, but insinuates there is a reason he hasn’t already been doing so. (pg. 37)

(The rest of the post can be found behind the cut.)

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How I Met Your Mother

MEMBER/GROUP: Kim Minseok / Xiumin // EXO

GENRE: fluff, comedy, slight angst

WORD COUNT: 4,063 words (jesus I have no life)

SUMMARY: Minseok leans back in his seat with a grin. “How I met your mother? Well, your mother and I were best friends.” His fifteen year old daughter’s eyes brighten. “You fell in love?” Chuckling, he nodded. “Well, yeah, but there’s a lot more to it. It’s a long story, buckle up, kids.” 

AUTHOR’S NOTE: yes, i was watching the show again and yeah this happened okay enjoy :) 

Originally posted by ethereal-baek

look at him he’s so humble and precious and amazing and beautiful and kind-hearted and ethereal dONT SLEEP ON HIM YA FAKES


“HEY DAD, HOW DID YOU AND MOM MEET?” 

Minseok sets his newspaper down and looks at his children in surprise. “What?” 

“How did you meet Mom? You two are so different, but you’re still so in love. How did that happen?” 

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Popular | Chapter 6

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Avenger!Reader

Prompt: Tony has made a bet to see who could end up with the most fans, out of the Avengers, by the end of the month. Bucky takes it just to piss Sam off and Reader really wants to prove that she isn’t the least popular. Bucky and Reader team up to be a fake couple in order to beat the other Avengers, agreeing to split the prize at the end. Will it all work out?

A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting, but I’m back from vacation! Please enjoy the next installment of this series. 

Warnings: None

Series Masterlist

Originally posted by xxxxxx6x

Tony’s Advice

It’s only been three days, but it might as well have been three months. You haven’t talked to him, heard his voice, or gotten a glimpse of the back of his head. You weren’t actively seeking him out, but it had gotten very lonely without a person next to you.

You had yet to admit it, but the outdoors were drastically improved with the right company. You would bother getting dressed properly and hear the honks of cars as you two walked down the street. You would take hand-holding over nothing at all. Without a reason to step foot out of the tower, you stayed in and moped.

As they say, old habits are hard to kick. That’s why you were curled up on the sofa watching more House Hunters. No matter how many episodes you watched, you couldn’t seem to get your mind off of that stupid argument. One day in, you were fine. You thought that instead of dwelling on Bucky being stupid and unfair, you would actually get stuff done. You went outside, met some fans, bought yourself good food. Then overnight, the joy had been sucked away. You lied again, pretending to have a huge headache and couldn’t go outside. You hated yourself more for how easily fibs came to you now.

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Preschool Teacher!Jimin

Before I start this, I wanna say thank you for 4,400 followers !!!! My mind is officially blown, you guys are always so sweet and wonderful so thank you so much for all of the support and just <3 Onto the post, it is time for one third of the maknae line, half of the Busan line, a squishy bub whose cheeks are 10/10 every single time, I am a sucker for chubby cheeks so fetus!chim is like I just wanna squeeze his lil face, Park Jimin aka chim chim

  • So someone actually requested something about this separately (before I started this series) so I’ll be combining that request and this one, the request was basically for single parent!reader and preschool teacher!Jimin 
  • The biggest softie in the entire world
  • He’s always really kind and generous to adults so just imagine what’d he be like with a bunch of lil munchkins running around him and using their puppy dog eyes and lil voices to get him to say yes (not that he’d say no in the first place)
  • The kids l o v e him so much like as much as he adores them, they adore him
  • He’s a giant kid most of the time and he’s got that really gentle voice and he’s always always always up for a hug
  • There’s this one time where one of the kids is sick so they stay home for a few days and when they get back, they literally run straight for him and just hug him for a solid five minutes and he’s so so happy
  • Any chance of being called Mr. Park is gone once one of the kids calls him chim chim
  • Like there are a couple of times they call him Mr. Park but normally it’s just chim chim or chimmy or, as one of the kids calls him, Jiminie Cricket
  • Similar to Yoongi, he’s really good with the shyer kids
  • Jimin is a shy shy shy boy sometimes, like he gets flustered at times and he has that shy smile he does and despite being an actual star, he stills gets really shy when all of the attention is on him (off stage of course)
  • So he totally gets it when they don’t immediately wanna talk or play with him and he normally just sits next to them quietly and talks to the other kids around them so that they aren’t alone but they’re also not being forced to talk to him
  • Bc if he just sat next to them, they may feel awkward or pressured to say something but if he’s there and starting a conversation with the group, they can feel more at ease to maybe speak up and join when they want to and they appreciate that
  • There’s always a kid holding his hand or being carried by him, they just love him so much and he’s so affectionate that they feel like that can be comfortable around him so they’re hugging his legs or his arms (when he’s sitting down) or holding his hand or sometimes sitting on his shoulders
  • He’s so playful with them like he’s the king of hide and seek
  • He walks around the classroom and pretends he doesn’t notice the very obvious shoe sticking out from under the table but then a few minutes later he comes back and starts tickling the kid bc their rule is that you aren’t caught until you laugh so he has to make them laugh first and that’s something he’s always been good at doing
  • So many arts and crafts like that’s basically an everyday thing
  • He always has new ideas for them like painting a pumpkin or making their own shirts where they get some fabric paint and go to town, anything that’s not too difficult or has anything that could cause some injuries (like scissors) but something where they still get to express themselves and be creative
  • He always has the class plant, which is normally just something simple and small bc then the kids can take turns watering it every day and they get to see it grow from a tiny seed to an actual plant and then on the final day of class, he takes them out to a community garden where they plant it in the ground so it can continue to grow
  • He does face painting when they’re in class on Halloween so all of the kids get to line up and he and the TAs make them into whatever they want, tigers, pandas, cheetahs
  • He’s so so gentle the entire time and he keeps them entertained by telling them a story that involves the animal they’re getting painted as and their eyes are so big and they’re hanging onto every word and he has to hold back a couple giggles bc they just look so cute
  • Speaking of stories, he’s a ma zing at story telling
  • He’s always brings in these really cute books and he actually spends a lot of time looking around and searching for good children’s books bc he really really cares about the kids and he wants them to have fun books to read/have read to them
  • The m o s t encouraging teacher you’ll ever meet
  • There are times where he’s not fully sure what they’re doing exactly but hey, go for it lil dude
  • It can be the smallest of achievements or the biggest, he’s gonna congratulate them, he gets so genuinely excited for them and his smile is so big which means they smile too 
  • That’s one of the reasons Jimin loves his job so much, he loves seeing (and helping) the kids grow and watching their personalities develop and seeing them discover new things that he didn’t even notice anymore
  • Like hell yeah, now that lil boy pointed it out, caterpillars are really cool
  • They always want him to sing for them at nap time and some of the kids can’t sleep unless he does sing but he doesn’t mind at all, he’ll sing for as long as they want
  • He also does dances for them like there’s this one time he dresses up as a puppy (on Halloween) and he’s so shy about it but they’re all so excited for it so he does the Snoopy dance
  • Your son is one of his students
  • Jimin is always really close with all of his students so of course, your son and him get along really well
  • Your son always comes home and tells you all the amazing stories of what happened today and he’s always so excited to go back to school bc he knows he’ll get to see Jimin and his friends
  • After hearing so much about him, you decide to set some time aside to actually be able to stay and talk to Jimin before their class starts and you immediately see why your bby loves him so much
  • He’s got a cute ass smile, he’s so bubbly but a lil shy and you can tell how much he loves the kids
  • While you’re talking, these two kids come in and they take off towards him and he just kneels down and opens his arms and you would think they hadn’t seen each other in years bc the kids are just so excited and they’re talking over each other and Jimin’s just giving them this really soft look and it’s official, you’ve got a crush
  • Jimin offers to have you and your bby over for dinner one night and you agree and your lil boy is just so so excited to be visiting chim
  • It’s really endearing to see your bby so happy with someone and so at home and Jimin’s so loving towards him the entire night, like he helps feed him his dinner and makes sure his shirt doesn’t get any food on it
  • You two are talking while bby boy is watching Tom and Jerry and you actually really like Jimin like he’s funny and charming but he’s also really down to earth and kind
  • The fact that he’s also really good with kids and loves your son who loves him just as much definitely doesn’t help the whole crush situation that’s happening bc you don’t even have to worry about whether or not they’ll get along
  • “So what do you say next time we go out to a restaurant, maybe just us two?? Like on a date??”
  • “I’d say that I’ll pick you up at seven”

champagne supernova

ao3 link

robert wasn’t the type of person who got overwhelmed. he’d spent his whole life just powering through the things that felt overwhelming, good and bad - chin up and shoulders back, as jack had always said.

or, aaron and robert share a quiet moment alone at their second wedding. 

Robert wasn’t the type of person who got overwhelmed. He’d spent his whole life just powering through the things that felt overwhelming, good and bad - chin up and shoulders back, as Jack had always said. That’s how the Sugden’s got through life, never letting anyone or anything get them down, stop them from getting what they wanted.

For better or for worse, his dad had instilled a fierce sort of pride in Robert, in all three of them, and it was something he was never going to be able to shake off, not completely, maybe not at all.

And that pride was exactly why Robert was sitting in a children’s playground, his wedding reception going on without him in the pub, chatter and music pouring out of every open door and window of the Woolpack.

His wedding.

Robert glanced down at the familiar ring on his finger, a new weight added to the metal now, an official marriage license and a legal wedding making him Aaron’s husband officially, on paper now.

He didn’t deserve it, Robert knew that much. He’d done nothing to ever deserve Aaron’s love, had done nothing to deserve the forgiveness Aaron had given him, one too many times now.

The forgiveness that had allowed them to build a life together, properly this time around, no cheating, no secret pregnancies, nothing. It was just the two of them in it this time, eight months of marriage counselling ending with them standing in city hall, applying for a marriage license.

To do it for real this time, Aaron had quipped, a bright smile on his face, and a confidence to the way he held himself that Robert hadn’t realised he’d missed, until it was back. A break up, a make up, a whole lot of therapy, and a few new hobbies, and happy hadn’t felt like such an impossibility anymore.

Thats how Aaron had put it. He’d thought happiness was impossible, once, Aaron plagued by all the things he’d had to suffer in his life, all the ways the universe had done him wrong.

But he was good now, a smile on his face and a snarky smirk in place whenever he decided to drive Robert up the wall, friendly banter and happy teasing taking the place of the fighting, the breaking point they’d spent months on the edge of before they’d had to admit they weren’t going anywhere (anywhere happy, at least.)

And yet somehow, here they were now, married, and happy, an easy sort of routine to their lives together that Robert knew he didn’t deserve.

He hadn’t deserved to get to go on that third first date, with Aaron, hadn’t deserved the smile and the ‘third times a charm, Robert’, hadn’t deserved any of it, but Aaron had always been the better man, the better of the two of them.

Better half took a whole new meaning, when it came to Aaron and Robert.

“Oi!”

Robert looked up at the familiar shout, Aaron stalking across the grass toward him, suit jacket and tie long since discarded, shirt sleeves rolled up slightly, his husband clearly feeling the affects of the overly warm pub, and the free flowing alcohol.

Aaron looked gorgeous. More gorgeous than Robert had words for, and he prided himself on never being lost for words, but he had been, had been gobsmacked that afternoon at the registry office as he’d watched Aaron walk up the aisle, Chas holding tightly to his arm, fingers digging into the expensive blue material.

(Tailor made suits, for their second wedding, because it was the second and last.)

“You’re not allowed to abandon me, not when mum’s trying to make me dance,” Aaron said, waggling a bottle of champagne at Robert, one he’d clearly swiped on his way out of the pub.

Robert couldn’t help but crack a smile. Chas hadn’t been the biggest support, when they’d decided to give their relationship another go - not that Robert could blame her for her reluctance to get on board - but they’d found their way in the end.

He and Chas had common ground, after all - Aaron, and Aaron being happy, and so when Aaron’s smile had become a permanent fixture on his face, she’d done her nosey mum routine, and asked when they’d make it legal.

“I just needed a minute,” Robert admitted quietly, knowing Aaron was staring, waiting for an answer. It had all felt a bit overwhelming, as he’d stood at the bar with Zak and Sam, having a pint with the two Dingles, Aaron being cornered by Belle and Charity, the two women determined to make him dance.

It had been overwhelming because it had felt right, felt like home, felt like the blissful forever after they’d been denied at their first wedding. Robert had been in the midst of a group of Dingles, people who’d been out for his blood once upon a time, and he’d felt at home.

It had sort of been the straw that broke the camels back, if Robert was honest, the emotion of the day flooding his every sense at once, and he’d just needed air. if anyone but Aaron had come looking, he’d have said he needed to be alone, too - but well, this was Aaron.

He’d never say no to a quiet moment with Aaron.

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anonymous asked:

Lo they do get back together right maybe it's because I'm on my period but I cried watching tonight's episode but I feel so upset, how are ED going to fix this.

hey anon!

we’re synched up bless

ok think of it this way

this break up - yes it’s about the baby and it’s  about rebecca - but really, it’s about aaron and robert - and it started back in january

like - robert and aaron argued and it was huge, monumental. rob tried to move out, tried to call off the wedding. aaron flipped and put kasim in a coma. 

in their next scene, when aaron is still reeling, aaron says “i love you but i hate who i am around you”. like. aaron was already struggling so much. and that was his own shit, more than anything - beating up kasim wasn’t robert’s doing. even aaron’s jealousy, while yes, was rooted in robert’s behaviour at some level, was more a sign of his mental state

and then the police rock up and they get so distracted by the thought that they almost lost each other, could still lose one another, that they cling onto one another with both hands, completely ignoring the fight they had on the night before they were supposed to elope.

but aaron is still in a bad space and he’s having panic attacks and he’s just… struggling - and he’s worried about robert leaving him and about liv

so rob throws him a wedding, as a way to solidify the little family they’ve made and aaron is the happiest he’s ever been, until right at the end, where he admits he’s scared and he and robert have that lifechangingly beautiful conversation - and then follow it up the next day with their goodbyes

prison only makes things worse for aaron and it starts robert down a much darker path too - all of a sudden, it’s not just aaron who is struggling, but we see robert unable to sleep, on constant high alert, sad and lost

aaron has, obviously, a worse time than anyone could have imagined and it breaks him completely

this in turn ends up accidentally breaking robert and he ends up sleeping with rebecca

aaron gets out, talks to robert openly, finally, about what he went through. they end up going away for a month and from what rob says during the reveal, aaron starts to get back to his old self again (which we see for ourselves too).

they talk about it a lot during the reveal - aaron’s mh, robert’s own state of mind, how they’ve dealt, how they’re going to deal. we know that aaron sees the broken bottle and we don’t know what happens there - he ends up going to his therapist, but that’s still very much in his mind. he’s still struggling.

aaron decides to stay with robert and forgive him - and fuck, watch aaron say that line to robert again. he says it so quietly, only gets half the fucking words out. watch aaron’s face from that point onwards. i think… i think aaron just desperately wants to stay with robert, because he loves robert and he doesn’t want to be without robert, but he also looks so unsure. like. i think aaron knew, just as he knew back in january, something wasn’t working. i think he gave into his own desires and ignored what he also knew would be better for his mh - to leave and take some time to get himself better. doing it in this situation that is so fraught, has so many problems, is just… it wasn’t helping him at all.

then, to top it all off, we see aaron and robert find out that the baby is still a reality and it’s even worse. aaron immediately goes into supportive mode and this lasts a short amount of time, before he stops being able to keep it up. robert starts off in snappy attack dog mode and softens pretty quickly - but all in all, what results is that aaron and robert clearly haven’t had sex since the reveal, aaron has isolated himself repeatedly and robert has sort of tried to get him to talk but hasn’t succeeded at all and hasn’t really pushed all that much. at some point aaron starts self harming again. he tries to buy spice again, gets attacked by jason for his troubles. 

ultimately, we see aaron and robert fighting, trying to end it and not quite doing it. they decide to run away, that maybe that will help, if they get out of the situation and away from the baby entirely -

and again, they haven’t spoken about it but although the baby started it again, this ultimately started long before the baby was even a possibility, so it never would have worked 

- and then aaron is in the car with adam and he sees the scan and throws that wrench at robert’s head.

and the thing is - up until that point, aaron’s behaviour has hurt kasim and it’s hurt himself, but it had never hurt robert. and it’s at that point that aaron shuts down and shuts robert out entirely.

this is the point where aaron talks about how they do this to each other - push each other, how they can hurt one another and how it’s not good for either of them. it’s not just about aaron anymore, it’s about robert potentially getting hurt too - and this is what ultimately makes aaron leave.

and then aaron comes back, walls up, refusing to give robert even an inch - because he knows if he does, he’ll be right back there. it would be so so so easy for aaron to give in all over again - he’s done it every single break up before (#shameless self promo have a read through my break up guides)

and it leaves robert feeling entirely fucking bereft, like hope is gone and he’s lost aaron entirely

- because aaron is codependant in their relationship but robert is codependant as a person and he cannot even begin to understand really what aaron is trying to say - all robert knows is that they love each other

and i think ultimately they need that absurd balance - robert being there to keep them going, having that rock solid faith in them - and aaron being there to put a stop to things when it gets dangerous, to bring them a little more down to earth when they need to, like now, where aaron really does need to be alone in order to try and work through his shit

and where robert actually also does need to be alone to try and work out how to be single, bc he’s incapable of it, and develop a healthier relationship with himself too so that eventually his relationship with aaron will be healthier

that’s not what he’s gonna do tho he’s gonna slip larry some sleeping pills and take over home farm instead

but like - this break up could have been about how robert did something unforgivable, they could have set robert up to have a full on affair with rebecca, they could have done any number of things…

but instead they told this story - horribly depressing and heartbreaking, and yes maybe in some ways it feels hopeless, but in other ways i think it’s actually the exact opposite - it’s about addressing issues that have been prevalent for so long, about the way they’re entirely unable to communicate and it’s been told so so so slowly and

and what i’m saying is that this story has spanned 8 months and is still going and it has been entirely about their love for one another and the struggle they’ve faced and tbh you don’t do that for a couple you plan to drop forever

like… look how in love they still look with one another

like they do - despite all appearances - put a lot of care into robert and aaron’s storyline

just… look at the pete/leyla/priya mess and tell me you don’t see a difference

or any of the couples, honestly.  it’s absurd. they put so much care into showing how in love they are that all the other couples on the show feel a little ridiculous next to them??????? you don’t do that for a couple that’s never going to get back together

and look at how much fallout vic and adam got

(any fallout they’ve had has basically been related to robert and aaron it’s absurd)

they’re gonna be fine. it’s the ‘when’ more than the ‘if’ right now. they’ve just gotta get this whole white scheme out of the way first lmao.

anonymous asked:

What do you think of the relationships of Iida and Izuku? I think they've had a interesting relationship since the beginning, especially during the All for One arc

Sorry for the wait Anon, I took me a quite a long time finding the right words and caps to answer this ask about Izuku and Iida’s relationship. I wanted to make it right because I truly love their friendship. 

The first thing that struck me was their interaction when they found out they were classmates. Izuku has been mocked his whole life, bullied and abused by Bakugou at school, never apologized to and denied by everyone and… Iida is the first person to praise Izuku for his skills and he recognize he himself had done something wrong and misjudged Izuku. Iida seemed to be quite antipathetic at first. He mocked Izuku in front of everyone before UA exam entrance and belittled him, but he admitted he was wrong. He didn’t take it in a personal way. When Izuku is about to enter his classroom, he hopes he’s neither in Bakugou or Iida’s class, and no luck that day, he got both. But the first thing Iida did, unlike Bakugou, was approaching Izuku and praising him. 

I find in really important because it shows that immediately, Iida thought Izuku’s well-being and right to be praised for what he did and respected was more important than his ego. I’m thankful Izuku made such a friend. Iida sees all Izuku’s qualities, and appreciate how he fanboys about heroes and is knowledgeable about them. 

He values Izuku’s talents, so much that during UA sports festival, he wants to compete with him. He respects and admires him for all those amazing things he already did, and is the first to look up to him in class 1-A. So naturally, he wants to be on equal grounds with him, because he wants to be as good as him. That’s how much he respects Izuku.

Todoroki defied Izuku as ‘Endeavor’s son breaking away from his father’s authority’ but Iida decided to establish this friendly rivalry between them because he doesn’t want to lose to Izuku, as he’s aware of what he’s really ready to accomplish. He holds Izuku in high regards, and it’s mutual seeing how Izuku ultimately decided Iida befitted the class president role much better than him, when Iida himself had voted for Izuku because he thought he was more qualified than him. And it’s saying a lot, given how Iida accords great importance to this role.

After what happened to Iida’s big brother, Izuku noticed something was wrong with Iida when he went for his internship, but didn’t do anything at the moment because he didn’t want to intrude on Iida’s private life, as they didn’t know each other for that long yet. Then, during the Stain incident, Izuku was here for Iida. Aizawa and Manual noticed that Iida probably went to Hosu because he wanted to track Stain, but did nothing about it. When Izuku realized what Iida was up to, he gathered all intel he had and rushed because he was sure Iida was in danger and was very worried about him;

(I find cute how he knows some Iida’s little habits like the time it takes for him to answer messages).

He protected him, even if Iida was blinded by anger and didn’t act heroic anymore. He wasn’t disappointed with Iida, he was just worried about him and wanted to talk with him, not blame him or anything, so they could come to a conclusion together.

When they defeated Stain with Todoroki’s help, Iida was sorry for what he did, and shameful of his behavior. He realized it because Izuku and Todoroki talked to him, and in a way, the things Todoroki said were also coming from Izuku. This boy has such a good influence on people around him. Iida was grateful for what they did, and I found the scene at the hospital very interesting. Instead of reproaching anything to Iida, because Iida understood what he did wrong when he witnessed Izuku and Todoroki’s bravery, Izuku was supportive and just made a promise with him to encourage him, so they both could move on and improve.

Then the most important interaction they had after that was during the Kamino incident. Iida was very harsh with Izuku, because he was worried about him as well, just as Izuku was worried about him in Hosu. Izuku has just recovered from terrible injuries, and here he was doing something reckless again. Iida cares about Izuku, and didn’t want him to injure himself again. 

He punched him, and honestly, with a lot of others shonen MC, it could have gone into a great fight, with emotions not being talked about and communication failing, but it didn’t, because Izuku was able to understand what was bothering Iida, and assure him he didn’t plan to get injured. I like the physical contact Iida made with Izuku, you can tell how desperate he is that he doesn’t get more injured than he already is because he’s afraid Izuku’ll suffer from the same fate hi brother encountered. And that sentence ‘Do my feelings… Not mean anything?’ It’s so moving to see Iida pouring his heart out like that and showing great concern in front of Izuku. Their friendship is so important; Izuku is so important for him. 

As a result, Iida, the class president and most responsible person of the class, who was highly against that rescue operation, decided to accompany them to protect them. Iida probably still thinks he owes Izuku a lot, so he went and took this responsibility as well because he want to watch over him and the others, and less because he really wanted to save Bakugou like Kirishima. Then, I found a scene particularly powerful. When All for One suddenly appeared, Izuku, Todoroki, Kirishima, Iida and Yaoyorozu were terrified, and could barely breath because they were petrified. Izuku was nonetheless thinking of what he could do, but the first person to move, to break away from the fear was Iida because he wanted to protect Izuku, to stop him to go and preserve him. 

The tension is very well conveyed in those panels, it looks heavy, so much you can barely breath, but the first to take a step and overcome his fear is Iida, because he’s even more scared Izuku and others are gonna do something reckless and hurt themselves. It’s his turn, his role to protect others now. It also shows how he changed since the Stain incident, where he was less caring about protecting than seeking revenge. Iida truly cares about his comrades overall, but really is considered with Izuku, and Izuku also thinks greatly of Iida. Their friendship with Uraraka is great, and I’m happy that Izuku could make those friends he could talk with after class because he’s been alone all of his school life so far, and Iida and Uraraka were the first to stand by his sides when no one has ever did before.

As a little bonus, I like this piece Hori drawn, where Izuku is being carried by Iida on his shoulders, like, it doesn’t always appear that much, but Izuku and Iida really are close friends.

Breaking the silence: Fandom hatred, bullying, victimization, and hacking

Does anyone have an inkling/suspicion or a friend, who I can get in touch with, who might know anything about who hacked my AO3 account and removed all my fanfiction back in January?

My husband I, both proficient when it comes to computers, and he with viruses/hacking/malware protection experience, found out that my pc had been infected with a keylogging software (it tracks every single keyboard key I hit) which also took pictures every few seconds/ran a continuous stream of what I was doing on my pc visually. That means that private emails with numerous people were viewed by the hacker, private information seen, and every single one of the usernames and passwords I had typed in while infected. Unfortunately I didn’t have active monitoring of my pc on, instead relying on a virus and malware scan run once a week, so I didn’t catch it on time. When we looked back, we saw that my pc had been infected for at least 72 hours.

So what happened was they saw me log in to AO3 (which does NOT have two-step authentication – that thing where it sends a code to your phone) and within an hour my fics started to be deleted, one by one….

Thank goodness I was home from work and my husband was able to talk to me on the phone as the next steps were taken… I was able to stay a step ahead of the hacker for pretty much everything else.

So. They not only hacked my AO3. They also changed my username to SlutBitch and proceeded to send threatening emails to my email address. They tried to hack into every single one of my email accounts, and were actually successful on a few of them, but I was getting alerts on my phone (my email monitoring of many of my accounts telling me there was a new device being used to log in) and was frantically requesting password resets before they could change the single-level password reset method, and then I followed behind by adding in a phone verification method for every single log-in attempt made, including my own log ins.

All this without realizing that they were watching me through screenshots, and watching as every keystroke I made was recorded.

I was pretty much handing them my log-ins as I went.

But I stayed ahead of everything else.

Sure, I lost my fanfics with every kudos, every bookmark, every comment ever made, but at least I was able to protect my multiple emails, my Paypal, my Amazon, my Dropbox, and many other things. They made attempts to hack into my husband’s and my mother-in-law’s emails, but they didn’t have the password so I bet it was just to show me how far their reach was. A show of intimidation.

They even made an e-mail account of their own that used my handle: Juulna. My husband was able to hack it back from them, so at least now /I/ own that e-mail address. They used it to send me an e-mail threatening me by saying that they have my real name (of course, since they hacked my emails) and my credit card info. I received that email while I was at work on an 8-hour shift, and I freaked out. Because I couldn’t do anything about it, and I felt so scared. I felt harassed, harried, and completely drained. I just wanted to be left alone to lick my wounds in peace. It was awful. I felt awful.

Oh, and part of the e-mail they sent to me was traced back to my local area, and we called the police who checked into the address, and then apparently couldn’t give us any information because “there was a minor involved.” But I have my doubts that they were actually involved – that the hacker was smart enough to use a proxy or an IP mask.

So, yeah. This malware I’d been infected with (I didn’t use that pc often but, the couple of days before this, I was using it) was pretty sophisticated, and required some knowledge to use it. I had to have clicked on something like an image for the program to download in the background. Someone had to have known I would click on said image (or whatever it was). It’s highly likely I was targeted personally.

So there are a few different options:
A) the person who attacked me was knowledgeable about malware and hacking,
B) they hired someone who was,
C) or they were knowledgeable but not targeting me personally, and it was just a coincidence I was attacked.

I never really pushed the issue back then or even since I returned at the end of March 2017, because I wanted to move past it at the time. I was first off too devastated to want to think on the topic, and then when I returned I inquired into it a little bit by speaking privately with a couple of people and mentioning it here and there to see if there was anyone in the public who might approach me with a tip.

But I’m done getting caught up on reposting, and my mind cannot leave it alone anymore. There’s nothing I can use to distract myself and put the thought off with anymore. 

How does this tie in with fandom and bullying?

Well, because of my own suspicions on who this might be connected with. Many of you know about my run-in(s) with a certain BNF in the fandom. Many of you don’t, or haven’t realized I’m connected to that story in a pretty major way.

I’m not going to go off on a rant here, but suffice it to say that I truly, truly believe that this incident was either perpetrated by her, though she’d been out of the fandom for a few months at the time (though her fics were and still are up), or was perpetrated by someone who felt that I was responsible for her being run out. Maybe I was, a little, but it was only because I shared my story of what happened (and acknowledged the mistakes that I made, as well), which was then included as only a part of what this person did to the fandom and to other people – not just me. But some of her friends have since, and continued to, cast her as a complete victim in all of this, never mind the fact that she’s done this to numerous people, and she and I both escalated our feud. But that’s no reason to paint her as the innocent victim of the whole tale – and neither am I.

I’m human. There are people I really hate or dislike immensely or just a little bit; people I really wish would disappear; and even some people whom I’m jealous of (especially after my fics were removed and all my statistics lost – and after reposting said fics, have only achieved about ¼ of those previous stats, or even 1/20th of the comments I had on one fic…)…….

….. Despite this hate or resentment, or whatever, I would never hack another person and remove all of their hard work, just because I’m upset. I would never ever ever remove someone’s heart and soul; their work, their hours, everything that is theirs. It’s awful. It’s an awful feeling. It’s horrible. And I would have known all that before my work was taken from me.

Stop bullying people.

Stop taking away all their hard work.

Think twice before you speak.

Don’t take away what isn’t yours.

Even if a person is terrible, it’s not your choice to make to remove something which they’ve worked so hard on.

Two wrongs don’t make a right.

In conclusion

Thank you for reading/listening to my long-winded rant.

Also, yes, to clarify: the bullying (and possible hacking) occurred from one Reylo to another Reylo (and within an ot3 ship that’s an offshoot of Reylo)… This was not an anti to a Reylo – and that’s just awful that we’re fighting each other. Shouldn’t we stick together?

Also. Yes, I’ve spoken about this in hints or small sentences here and there over the last 9 weeks that I’ve been back. But I’ve finally decided to open up about this, and explain what went on, in the hopes that someone might know what happened, or might know someone else who might know something or be able to help.

And, failing that, it is my hope that someone learns something from my experience, awful as it might have been. If this helps someone… then maybe my experience was worth it, in the end.

I hope so.

Edit: adding the following message from one of my reblogs so that the message gets out there….

I have a message for the hacker: I promise that if you message me, or e-mail me at juulna.writes@gmail.com, that I will never reveal your identity to the community. I mean, as long as you don’t bully others or don’t do this hacking thing again, to me or to others, I will keep your identity a secret. Even if everything and everyone is screaming at me to reveal it and making them pay, I would be content with simply knowing who did this to me. If you did this to me, please come forward privately, at any time, and let me know.

Verse // Min Yoongi

Pairing: Yoongi (BTS) x Reader

Genre: Angst 

Word Count: 1.1k+

Author’s Note: Inspired by Spring Day by BTS, specifically Yoongi’s part. Get your tissues ready~

His fringe tickled the back your neck as you heard him laugh quietly. You could feel his breath in your ear and you knew he was awake, trying to get your attention. You smiled to yourself as you turned around and opened your eyes - expecting to see him.

The cold empty bed was all there was. He wasn’t there. He never was. Your mind tricked you again.

It didn’t take you long to realize you were dreaming again. Nightmares.

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anonymous asked:

can i request a park woojin soulmate au, please! thank you in advanced c:

of course! i hope this is okay!!

  • okay so in this au, everyone is connected to their soulmate through their thoughts
  • no one knows when, it’s different for everyone, but at some point in your life you’re suddenly able to hear what your s/o other is thinking
  • at first it’s REALLY messy because you have no control over which thoughts they can hear, and vice versa
  • so one day you’re sitting in your bed, working on an assignment for school/work and you hear in the back of your mind, in a voice that’s definitely not yours, “i can’t believe guanlin ate my last candy bar. that was MINE. i put MY name on it. do labels mean nothing anymore?”
  • you don’t make the connection at first and you’re like “who is guanlin and why is he eating candy bars that are clearly not his”
  • and that’s the first thing woojin hears from you
  • then you make the connection & realize that was your soulmate’s voice talking about this guanlin person and you’re like “????” because you’ve waited your whole life to hear your soulmate speak and the last thing you expected to hear was something like that
  • but anyway, that’s how it all started
  • you spent the rest of the night messily communicating back and forth, some thoughts not going through, sometimes the wrong things coming forth (you accidentally sent woojin a thought about the fact that you really had to pee- and he made fun of you; needless to say you were super embarrassed)
  • but it would be the most fun you’d ever had, and you learned little bits and pieces about woojin and his life, and vice versa
  • after a little while of communicating you guys get the hang of it, mostly being able to choose which thoughts the other person hears
  • but sometimes you stub your toe and can’t help but sending the thought of “fuck that really hurt” to him
  • fast forward a couple months of knowing him, you guys finally work out the plans to meet one another in person
  • it took you almost half a year of talking before deciding to meet because although you both really liked one another you were both super busy with your schedules and had lowkey fears about seeing one another for the first time
  • but eventually these fears slipped out and you were able to reassure and comfort one another over these mutual worries
  • you both decide to meet at a park because neither of you are huge fans of being surrounded by a ton of people like you would be at a mall or cafe
  • the first time you two see each other you’re speechless, you both just kind of stare at one another in complete awe before he breaks out into his signature smile and pulls you into his arms
  • you guys hug for what feels like hours and you can’t shake the surreal feeling of finally meeting the person you were meant to be with
  • after breaking away from the hug he finally says “hi i’m woojin” and immediately after he thinks “but they already know that. why did i say that? i’m already making a fool of myself i’m gonna pass out-”
  • and you can’t help but laugh and grab his face in your hands and tell him it’s okay and that he doesn’t need to be nervous around you
  • and he responds with “i’m sorry, you sent me the thought that i’m the most attractive person you’ve ever seen and now i don’t want to ruin your image of me”
  • and now YOU blush like crazy because you didn’t mean to send him that thought and he just laughs in response and pinches your cheeks
  • you two spend the rest of your time just kind of walking around the park and talking and he holds your hand and the boy is so happy he can’t wipe the smile off of his face and he just hopes he doesn’t accidentally send you a thought about how intense the butterflies in his stomach are
  • but in less an hour the awkwardness leaves and you’re able to communicate more comfortably and openly because really, you’ve spent months accidentally letting one another know you really have to pee there really isn’t anything you can’t tell each other at this point
  • woojin would be the type to fall fast and deep in love, within a couple of months of dating you would catch him thinking “i love them. i need to tell them. is it too soon to tell them? oh god what am i doing”
  • and you would “accidentally” let him hear the thought that you love him a lot too but you would pretend as if you didn’t know he heard that
  • and he would end up telling you he loves you not even minutes after because he feels so connected to you and doesn’t want to waste another day where you don’t know his full feelings
  • overall woojin would be the cutest and most loving soulmate ever and sharing thoughts would be such a blessing because sometimes he’s too shy to let out his true feelings and this kind of forces him to get it out
  • and i’m gonna end it here before i get too carried away bye
[2/3] till walkers do us part

█ title: till walkers do us part
█ written by: kafeuka
█ pairing: jeon jungkook/park jimin
█ rating: nc17
█ summary: [The Walking Dead!AU] what was supposed to happen: jungkook propose to jimin on one knee, slipping the white gold ring on the love of his life’s finger and jimin would say yes and they would be married and live happily ever after.
what really happened: jimin struggling to remain composed when he heard the voice of his angel through the cb radio.

let me know what you think by clicking here!

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