STAB ME IN THE FUCKING HEART WHY DON’T YOU
Tony is smelling Ziva’s scarf and inhaling her scent which flashes back to the last time he smelled her in PPF and then he stares at Tali because THAT’S HOW SHE HAPPENED I can’t with my feelings right now
Okay, now that that word-vomit is out of the way…
Seriously, how hauntingly beautiful is this?
You can see how utterly devastated Tony is – just completely, overwhelmingly broken inside and out. Now that Tali is asleep he can drop his act, and you can see the life just drain out of him.
What I can’t get over is just how intimate the act of sniffing Ziva’s scarf is – we’ve established this already, but that’s not the act of a co-worker, or even friend. That’s something far more personal and loaded with subtext.
And obviously, it’s meant to kick us right in The Feels, because he’s trying to hang onto one last piece of her – and again, it’s an astonishingly intimate act, and it connotes a far more intense connection than with the other agents, not that, you know, the presence of their child didn’t already do that.
Yet that isn’t enough. Because inhaling that scent brings him (and us) right back to the last time he saw her, and their last conversation. When she told him he was loved because she loved him, and he did the hardest thing he’s ever had to do and has regretted and replayed it every day since. It broke his heart back then, and it sure as hell wrecks him even more now that he knows how it all played out.
But of course the show has to make that connection for us. Bring us back to the last time it decided to break all of our hearts, and giving us one of the most beautiful scenes ever tinged with complete heartbreak. Especially now that we see the added layers – because neither of them knew at that moment when they kissed for the last time that this was the end but also this was not the end because lo and behold, they had their own little sequel in the works.
And Tony is remembering that moment and what led to that moment and how that moment happened and sees the direct consequence of that lying on his couch fast asleep.
And that has to throw him for a loop.
Also lol that child is older than 20 months old, I’m just saying