all things tiva

10

STAB ME IN THE FUCKING HEART WHY DON’T YOU

Tony is smelling Ziva’s scarf and inhaling her scent which flashes back to the last time he smelled her in PPF and then he stares at Tali because THAT’S HOW SHE HAPPENED I can’t with my feelings right now

Okay, now that that word-vomit is out of the way…

Seriously, how hauntingly beautiful is this?

You can see how utterly devastated Tony is – just completely, overwhelmingly broken inside and out. Now that Tali is asleep he can drop his act, and you can see the life just drain out of him.

What I can’t get over is just how intimate the act of sniffing Ziva’s scarf is – we’ve established this already, but that’s not the act of a co-worker, or even friend. That’s something far more personal and loaded with subtext. 

And obviously, it’s meant to kick us right in The Feels, because he’s trying to hang onto one last piece of her – and again, it’s an astonishingly intimate act, and it connotes a far more intense connection than with the other agents, not that, you know, the presence of their child didn’t already do that.

Yet that isn’t enough. Because inhaling that scent brings him (and us) right back to the last time he saw her, and their last conversation. When she told him he was loved because she loved him, and he did the hardest thing he’s ever had to do and has regretted and replayed it every day since. It broke his heart back then, and it sure as hell wrecks him even more now that he knows how it all played out.

But of course the show has to make that connection for us. Bring us back to the last time it decided to break all of our hearts, and giving us one of the most beautiful scenes ever tinged with complete heartbreak. Especially now that we see the added layers – because neither of them knew at that moment when they kissed for the last time that this was the end but also this was not the end because lo and behold, they had their own little sequel in the works.

And Tony is remembering that moment and what led to that moment and how that moment happened and sees the direct consequence of that lying on his couch fast asleep.

And that has to throw him for a loop.

Also lol that child is older than 20 months old, I’m just saying

With Killian being a detective in this new season of OUAT, all I want now is to write a crossover with B99 – Captain Swan and Peraltiago working on a case all together… :’) (Or Peraltiago helping Killian/Rogers remembering Emma and finding her. Or idk what, as long as it’s the four of them and a case haha.)

4

[insp] [insp]

3

- We’ve lost agents before, haven’t we? And when we do, it’s all hands on deck!
- She’s more than an agent to you.
- She was a daughter to you. She was a sister to McGee and Abby, and— she was no more to me than anybody.

Oh my heart.

THIS ENTIRE SCENE.

As I said earlier, this is the scene of Michael Weatherly’s career, but let’s not jump ahead of ourselves just yet, because settle in boys and girls, this is going to be a bumpy ride.

The raw emotion spilling out of Tony is so incredibly painful to witness, because it’s one of the rare instances of pure, unadulterated grief anyone on this show is ever allowed to experience. 

Everyone on this show is usually so controlled – particularly Tony – and to see him lose it, emotionally and physically – is definitely jarring, but I suppose that’s exactly the point, because Tony has finally reached his breaking point.

We’ve never seen him like this before– not after Kate, or Paula, or Jenny, or even Jeanne– all of whom’s deaths or departures were sudden and traumatic and personally meaningful to him. But again, there’s a purpose to it, because Ziva, as Gibbs points out, isn’t like any of them, especially not to him

But let’s back up.

I have many favorite parts of this scene (if you can call “getting my heart ripped out” a favorite thing), but it starts off early.

- What are you doing here?
- What am I doing? What are you doing?! What are we doing? Is anybody here?! 

Oh, DiNozzo.

This gets to me right away, not just because of Tony’s meltdown, but because of Gibbs’ immediate understanding of what is happening.

I can’t really explain why, but Mark Harmon’s delivery of that line gets to me and kind of spells everything out. Because yes, he initially sounds brusque, but it’s because he recognizes exactly what Tony is doing and going through, and it’s more like, “Work is the last place you should be right now because it’s not going to be pretty and we both know it.” Like, it’s so paternal (and dare I say even slightly tender) and sadly Gibbs is speaking from experience here, because he’s been there and he knows this is just the tip of the iceberg.

And he’s right.

(More under the cut because this is going to be looooooooooooong)

Keep reading

4

- I loved her, Tim.
- I know you did.


MY HEART CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE.

(And we’re not even done this episode yet.)

Ugh, Tony.

He just sounds (and looks) like he’s aged 30 years overnight. Like the weight of the world is on his shoulders with that confession.

And while he’s seemed… defeated in this whole conversation, there was that brief moment of levity when he admitted that yes, Tali did happen the good ol’ fashioned way. But then he’s brought back down to earth, because he can’t even really joke about Ziva being just another dalliance.

Because Ziva wasn’t like the others.

Because he loved Ziva.

And he did for a long time before PPF, and evidently has ever since. We’ve known it, and he’s hinted at it in the last three seasons, but finally, for the first time, Tony actually says the words.

Which would have been a lot better directed at Ziva, but we’re not allowed to have nice things, and neither is anyone on this show.

Just like Ziva’s love confession in PPF, Tony’s is also tinged with so much sadness behind the sentiment. Because she loved him but didn’t think she could have him, and he loved her but now can’t have her anymore either.

And I feel like it’s also an admission by Tony that those feelings always ran deeper and were always complicated. “I loved her, Tim” – even amidst the workplace flirtations and stakeout arguments and separations and reunions, he loved her. So he’s not going to “kiss and tell,” because she wasn’t like everyone else, and his feelings for her weren’t like they were for everyone else.

Which we all knew, but at least, now, so does the rest of the world.

Excuse me I need a minute.

That moment where everyone just assumes that Ziva knows Tony’s apartment intimately, because, obviously.

2

When your boss uses the man-code nod to give you permission to go console your wife