all the shit you say

anonymous asked:

Your post haunts me every day. Why is sharpay not bisexual? She’s been my bi queen since childhood. What about Zeke? Peyton? I need ANSWERS

she a lesbian my friend those dudes are called internalised homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality like frankly yall need to stop using past relationship with men to invalidate lesbians

2

Matt insisted on putting the glow in the dark stars up. :)

Shit Slytherins Say: #100
  • Slytherin: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
  • Gryffindor: "Seriously?"
  • Slytherin: "To Get to the ugly witches house."
  • Gryffindor: "I don't get it."
  • Slytherin: "Knock knock."
  • Gryffindor: "Who's there?"
  • Slytherin: "The chicken"
Uncoiling All Of My Plans

Context: I dm a group of players in a heavily homebrewed game and we were coming to their characters end of the mission sequence so that they could make new characters and all of that. One of my friends used to play an elven bars that never really did much, but they always collected items that boosted charisma.

They make it to the cave entrance

Me: you come across a large cave entrance and-

Bard: I’m going to start drinking all of my charisma potions as we walk down.

Me: ok go ahead then.

Final fight rolls around:

Me: as you walk into the end of the cave, you are met by… the bones of ancient dragon. You see a woman riding atop the creature, staring down at you all.

Me as Boss: Leave here, retched creatures. You need not know the power that you try to best.

Me OOC: everyone roll initiative

The elven bard gets the highest initiative.

Bard: Why leave now when I’m struck by your everlasting beauty?

Bard OOC: and I say that to seduce her

Me OOC: I mean if you want to… roll everything plus those potions you’ve been drinking. How many of those did you have?

Bard: 287…

Me: *wideyed* what?

Bard: yeah… plus I have all my charisma gear… my whole armor set is dedicated to boosting my charisma…

After a solid minute or rolling all of his die

Bard: the final score comes down to… 363

Me: I still have to roll a check to see if she defeats that score…

*rolls Nat 1*

Me: YOU CHARISMATIC ELVEN SON OF A GNOMISH WHORE!!!!

Long story short, they married and had 8 children…

Context: were being attacked by two hydra, and my dragonborn bard named Fiddle, plays kazoo

DM: And it’s now Fiddle’s turn.

Me: well… Exactly how hard would it be to seduce a Hydra?

DM: …. What

Me: I’m gonna play it a love song on Kazoo, and seduce it.

DM: …. Fuck, roll I guess

Me: *rolls a 19 plus my proficiency in performance and my charisma modifier* 26.

DM: I guess you-

Me: wait. *Pulls a kazoo from my bag and starts playing Rick Astleys Never Gonna Give You Up*

DM: okay- yeah- you seduce the Hydra with relative ease.

You make me feel like maybe I’m not as bad as I think

6

Bonus-

He’s the only one that got an invitation like that >:}

Look @angel-with-a-pipette I finally did the thing we talked about forever ago. Hope I did it justice >.<

  • Evan Hansen: Two friends, on a perfect 'day'
  • Me, and my tree bros heart: I KNOW YOU WANT TO SAY 'PERFECT DATE' EVAN
6

okay so this got out of hand but anyway

Date a boy who...
  • Looks at you like you put the moon, sun and the rest of the starts on the sky- 

-even when you are not there

  • Decides to be goofey with you
  • Seems to drift close to you because you make him comfortable
  • Is there to offer you help and at the same time respects your boudaries- 

-and decisions

  • Would fight tooth and nail for you when you are vulnerable
  • Will never give you his back and instead receive you with a hug
  • Trusts your abilities no matter what
  • Will open up to you on his moments of weakness because he trusts you
  • Who will be there to have your back even on the moments you are doubting of yourself
  • Date…. Shiro

Date Takashi Shirogane

I know this is a lesbian blog but I do want to make a quick shout out to my bi sisters:
Being bi isn’t a phase and you deserve better than someone who tells you that.
Being bi isn’t a “gateway sexuality” to being straight or gay and you deserve better than someone who thinks that.
Being bi doesn’t make you “more likely to cheat” and you deserve better than anyone who believes that.
Being bi doesn’t give you any privilege (no matter the gender of your partner) and you deserve better than someone who claims that.
Being bi is a good thing and you deserve someone who embraces you the way you are 100% and loves and supports you ❤❤❤

How dan and Phil probably broke up #56
  • Phil: Dani Snot On Fire