all the love we leave behind

poetry 0.001

(1)birth
if these were my last words, I’d say save the world if you can, forget about me, I’m just a branch off the tree, I stand in between the beginning and end. I hope we meet again friend, When all this repeats.


(2)mother
refer to nature as she, the everlasting love and care for her ungrateful children.


(3)
words cannot describe the dialect of the universe’s language, For it speaks from within to the depths Of the silent soul, The only story told is the experience left behind, words are hard to find as I leave this place.


(4)speak
Intentions cannot be hidden by a poker face. Words may fall into place out of the mouth, But a true being cannot deny, your heart will tell you everything you’re about.


(5)seek
the soul, awaits. It leaks from droplets of the sun, Become your light so it may never lead you astray,
The darkness cannot consume, nor overcome, something so bright.

20 Minutes!!

You guys!!!! 

20 minutes to search Baskerville, 20 minutes to find bruises on corpse, 20 minutes to catch a serial killer, 20 minutes until Molly comes

these all correlate to something else

In ASIP those 20 minutes were when he met John and they fell in love. 
In THOB those 20 minutes were watching John Watson pull rank and lead an investigation
In TLD those first 20 minutes gave way to John punishing Sherlock for leaving him
In TLD those last 20 minutes were John’s confession

Those 20 minutes are always always emotional, if this is some sort of Johnlock countdown we’re fucked. Didn’t someone theorize there was going to be Garridebs/Confession behind the clock face of Big Ben? @tjlcisthenewsexy? @waitingforgarridebs? What if there’s a fairytale-like story where they have to solve something in 20 minutes but it turns out to be their love confession?? 

Tick tock! Tick tock! Tick tock!

@deducingbbcsherlock @teaandforeshadowing @impatient14

“Devastatingly Handsome Friend”

“You’re my family”

“I love you”

“I love all of you”

“We’re fighting for you Cas”

“We’re family, and we don’t leave family behind”

“Let’s go home”

“I almost lost one of my boys”.

Me @ Cas Haters right now:

Originally posted by georgetakei

If there was anything I could forget,
I’d forget you.
I’d disregard the adoring way you’d look at me when I’d catch you staring and I’d overlook all those times you’d call me beautiful as if it were my name.
I’d leave behind the memory of your hand perfectly fitting in mine.
I’d relinquish all traces of your indescribably fruity voice and the ways you dreamily laughed.
I’d abandon all the thoughts of the future I dreamt we had together.
I’d ignore the fact that my mind made you perfect,
but most importantly,
I’d forget that I love you.
—  a.a.
I’m being childish, but I hope you feel the same sense of loss… m.k.j.
You aren’t worth your own playlist of songs anymore. You aren’t worth nights spent staying up crying over our pictures and moments. You do not deserve the words “I miss you” written next to your name in my journal. I do not deserve the “you sized” hole in my physical and mental being. You aren’t worth me calling my friends at 2 in the morning; I should be asleep. You aren’t worth me being afraid to sleep in my bed. Or being scared of the box on the top shelf of my closet-the one that holds the remains of when we were us- fading faster than your breath when you exhale in late December. You do not deserve a single ounce of my energy. I gave you all of my secrets, all of my attention, all of my love; leaving none behind for myself. And you, you took it, and you gave yours to her. I didn’t deserve the lies. I didn’t deserve you, you who turned out to be someone different than I though you were, because I deserve better.
How I got my Honors Psychology class to discuss Destiel fanfiction

Today I had my Psychology and Philosophy of War class, which I absolutely love. It’s part of a larger, nation-wide honors program and we discuss the effects of war on people, cultures and society. We split into discussion groups to think of examples for what the professor had spoken about.

I brought up a fictional story I’d read about a man named Dean going off to fight in Vietnam, leaving behind his distraught loved ones, and how when he got back everything, including himself, was changed and he couldn’t handle it and had to leave it all behind. My group loved it and we all debated various points of the story.

Yup. My honors class debated Twist and Shout.

Your move, Supernatural fandom.

Excuses, Excuses

A/N: An anon request for a Spencer x Reader, where the team doesn’t know that the two are dating (she doesn’t work for the Bureau). One night, the team goes out to dinner, minus Spencer, and they see the two together. @coveofmemories

                                                          ——-

After a long hard week away on a case, the team desperately needed a break. “We going for sushi?” Morgan asked to a chorus of “definitelys” and “oh hell yeses.” They’d barely eaten all week long and their last meal today was a quick muffin or piece of fruit at the hotel before the jet took off.

“I think I’m gonna bow out,” Spencer replied, clutching at his stomach. “I’m not feeling too well. Maybe it’s because we haven’t eaten all day, but I don’t want to test it.”

Garcia pouted. She hated leaving one of her loves behind. It never felt the same. “Are you sure? We’ll miss you though.”

Spencer reiterated that he wasn’t feeling well, which Hotch and Rossi didn’t seem to buy. As everyone got ready to leave, Hotch turned to Rossi. “You think he’s hiding something?”

“More than a little something,” Rossi replied, watching as Spencer shrugged on his coat and headed toward the elevator with a little too much pep in his step for someone that claimed to not be feeling well. “But I guess we’ll know when he’s ready.”

“Good for him,” Hotch smiled, putting on his own coat as his stomach grumbled ferociously. “Let’s get out of here. I’m starving.”

                                                         ——-

After a delicious sushi dinner that left everyone on the team overwhelmingly full, they decided to go for a walk in the park. Everyone was having their own little conversations, as well as overlapping ones, so no one wanted to go home just yet. “Oh. My. God,” Garcia breathed, pulling everyone behind a grove of trees.

“What?” Emily asked confused. She was used to Garcia’s eccentricities, but when she scanned the area, she couldn’t see any cause for alarm.

JJ looked around, not sure what had Garcia so excited either. “What’s going on?”

Garcia just pointed. Across the street from the park, stood someone that looked an awful lot like Spencer. It totally was Spencer. But he wasn’t alone. He was standing next to a young woman with wavy hair that went just past her shoulders. She had her arms wrapped around him and he looked like he was about to kiss her. “Go, Pretty Ricky,” Morgan said, staring in awe as his kid brother locked lips with the beauty in his arms. “Since when has Reid had a girlfriend?”

“I knew it,” Hotch smiled.

Garcia spun around and got right in Hotch’s face way too excited for her own good. “Wait, you knew? Why didn’t you tell us?”

Hotch just laughed. “I only suspected. And only tonight. He claimed to not be feeling well, but he seemed very happy to leave. Now I see why.” 

As Spencer and his mystery woman pulled apart from each other and began to walk down the street, Garcia started to follow, hiding behind tree after tree, so as to not be seen. Although, she was probably drawing more attention to herself than she realized. “We shouldn’t be doing this,” Emily laughed, following Garcia anyway. Everyone else followed behind, although Hotch and Rossi had protests of their own. They all excused their behavior as wanting to look out for their loved one, but deep down, they all just knew they were being nosy. They’d only seen Reid with a girl on a couple of occasions; Lila Archer, a girl from a bar on one of their other cases and Maeve. Since Maeve, he hadn’t been out with anyone; he had been too heartbroken.

JJ smiled wide when she saw where they were going. “He’s taking her over to the swing set.”

“This is so cute I might throw up,” Rossi laughed, thankful that the Doctor seemed to have found someone he loved. Morgan almost snorted. He was thinking the same thing. The mystery lady sat in the swing, as Spencer got behind her, pushing her higher and higher while she laughed. At one point, he pushed her too high and she jumped off, tumbling into the grass with a screech.  “I’m definitely gonna throw up,” Rossi said again. 

After checking to see that she was alright, the two started making out again, much to Garcia’s approval. “I have so many questions,” she said, turning around to the rest of the group. “When did they start dating? Is she treating him well? When can we meet her? I love that hairpiece she’s wearing. Can we be best friends?”

When she looked back after her rambling, they were gone, but with her eagle eye that could’ve rivaled a sniper’s had she used her skills for such things, she caught sight of them walking down the block toward an ice cream place. She just wanted to follow them inside and confront the Boy Genius, but the rest of the team kept her firmly in place. “If she dabs ice cream on his nose, I’m going to die,” Garcia exclaimed. As if on cue, the mystery woman pushed her ice cream cone into Spencer’s face. His exuberant smile was mirrored by his friends and teammates. His hair was messy. She had dirt on her clothes from the park. And his face was covered in ice cream. But none of that mattered. He was ecstatic and unequivocally in love. That was all that mattered to them right now; his happiness. He more than deserved it.

“Okay, okay,” Hotch said, linking his arm into Garcia’s to turn them around. “I’m pretty sure they’re gonna be standing there for a while and I imagine we’ll soon be intruding on another private moment. Yup…” he said, craning his head around to see the two kissing again. She didn’t want to leave. As a matter of fact, she wanted to grab a tub of popcorn and watch the romance bloom. “We really need to go. At least we know Reid had a good excuse for ditching out on dinner.”

“Can’t I just bust them?” Garcia pleaded, as the team pulled her away. “Please.”

“No,” they said collectively. Spencer finally had someone in his life. When he was ready, they would be there.

anonymous asked:

Disclaimer first - I'm not negative or angry + very pleased will all the lovely TFW we are getting and one thing I'm disappointed in - Is it just me or is Dean/Cas independent! relationship kinda gone-ish, 80% of all the emotional talks are always on TFW as a whole, never just Dean/Cas, even if Sam isnt there. Dean isn't ever refering to Cas in any emotional way singularly anymore (your OUR best, best friend WE've ever had, glad he cares about US, WE dont leave family behind etcetc) and cas too

Yeah, the big declarations have been all like that but having seen the whole “I love all of you” thing, I feel like they’ve been building up to actually have a family first, which is something I guess is way more important as a long term investment.

Something I’m always coming back to is that horrible isolation of Carver era. Well, I’m currently watching season 7 and at that part where they’ve now finally lost everything and it’s just Sam and Dean and not even the car. Like, Hallucifer and hunting and the Leviathan problem are literally the only constants they have from their old lives. Wow. :P

Carver era sort of puts a bit more of a fragile shell around them by giving Cas back, making Crowley a frenemy, and at least has some outside people like Charlie and Kevin even if they get killed off, but then also the wayward daughters characters who survive it, so there are at least some people to hold them accountable… During that time Cas is their only main constant family and even then terrible stuff is always happening to him and he’s always leaving, so he’s not really around except for little hints of what might be, and Cas picks up so much trauma from that too… 

I don’t know, looking at it from as outside a perspective as I can manage, I think with Mary back, and Cas MEANT to be a member of the family but needing serious integration into the family unit (12x03 with that little conversation showing Mary and Cas are struggling with the exact same thing) the show has to actually believably glue these people back together, and even Sam and Dean have huge splits that have barely been addressed (like Dean apologised for the ridiculous “sam hit a dog” grudge they started Carver era with in like, 11x11, I think? Which means they’d been actually on good terms for like maybe 12 episodes when Mary comes back :P) never mind Cas’s ocean of trauma and Mary being dropped among them out of the blue.

There’s been a real theme of teamwork this season in the big confrontation fights - 12x06, 12x07, 12x10 and 12x12 definitely all had teamwork fights taking down one big enemy together, and I may be forgetting some stuff but it’s more than enough for a pattern that they want to show the characters working together as a large and well-functioning unit - and within that, good dynamics, which they’re still working on especially for Mary, who (as we suspected she would) has only really SOLIDLY bonded with Cas because they’re both outsiders - Dean and Sam fight okay with her by their side but they need to work on interpersonal stuff (and I LOVED the shot this episode of Mary and Dean back to back with a wall between them).

To my eyes the TFW (and Mary) dynamic is clearly top priority and really important for the story they want to tell, and I’m loving the fragile way this family is being built and the exploration of the dynamics (now we’re getting later in the season I’ve seen people comment that Mary and Sam got a bad deal, but honestly for the first like 6 episodes of the season I was contemplating devoting my blog entirely to their drama and just forgetting Dean and Cas completely because I was so into what was going on there, and find it really weird people weren’t picking up on that because I thought all the subtext about Azazel coming between them was brilliant use of the characters and it just all suddenly paid off and I probably yelled louder about a Yellow Eyed demon showing up than I did about the whole “I love you” nonsense. :P There’s a part of my soul which is always going to be seasons 1-2 of Supernatural all on their own >.>)

But I think there’s still a ton of DeanCas this season, just underneath the main message they’re pushing, all the stuff like Dean and Cas just being prioritised when it comes to stuff like of course when the season starts Cas urgently gets back to Dean immediately and the story starts with them together. Of course Sam waits with Lily Sunder while Dean rushes off to help Cas. Of course Dean gets all weird and pissy about Cas working with Crowley and Sam like has nothing to do with this, at all. Of course when they get out of prison Dean is phoning Cas urgently to come get them, and sits in the back of the car with him. Of course he’s the one having the angry feud about caring too much vs being reckless after Cas invites his cosmic consequences. Of course when Cas is dying Dean is the one who rushes over to check on him and subtly all through that sequence is the one with the most focus on ALL the reaction shots, and the centre of the drama. 

And the little things like of course Dean phones Cas here, asks him to stay for breakfast there, is the one to hand him a beer and pat his shoulder, holds on just that much longer when he and Sam haul Cas to his feet (which I think is the perfect 1 tiny moment to demonstrate the whole thing of Dean just caring that little bit more even though Sam and Cas easily and happily could consider each other family at this point)

It’s like… Even when they’re not strictly telling us a story ABOUT Dean and Cas alone there’s just a little bit extra something going on between them, constantly, like, they just drift next to each other, or end up paying way more attention to each other? Like Dean at the diner in 12x12, Cas’s presence and the Mandy thing ends up this itch he has to scratch, he can’t stop bringing it up - weirdness between Dean and Cas derails the conversation repeatedly, and from both Cas and Mary’s POV we see Dean almost, like, fixated on Cas’s presence, while he’s all brotherly and annoying to Sam vying for attention complaining about the wifi, Dean just snores at him and goes back to I think just trying to get a rise out of Cas. 

I wouldn’t say any of this is really doing anything with them because the emotional arc right now is Family and creating a plausible version of Supernatural where it’s not two lonely angry brothers and sometimes people who help them and peripheral people they love but don’t, like… function in this way. Not in this whole promised dynamic of how that group exorcism went down in 12x06, or how Sam and Mary and Dean took on a Prince of Hell to save Cas (and even Crowley proved he has his own strange seat at this table there)… But they’re certainly keeping a sort of ongoing feeling there, that there’s just something extra about how Dean feels about Cas, and as usual, with 12x10 especially, the story about angels and romantic love is repeated and used between Dean and Cas, like, that’s all still there… I don’t know, every time something ridiculously small happens like Cas shows up and Dean rotates his entire body to face him on instinct, I’m like, yeah, we’re still existing in a story where Destiel is a presence

A theory on everyone’s favorite poison noodle

Tyrian! I love this guy, and as we all know everyone in RWBY is based on stories and fairy tales. Most believe this thespian right here’s based on the scorpion and the frog (which let’s be real yeah probably) but I think he’s based on someone else.

Wait, what? Why? Well for several reasons, which for ease I’ll bullet below:

  • Tyrian is a purple, which oh hey the cat is too.
  • At the end of Volume 4 Episode 5 the scene fades black leaving behind only Tyrians eyes, while the cat fades away leaving only his smile. (x)
  • To quote Tyrian while he’s talking with Qrow, “One does not upset the Queen.” Or what, off with their heads?
  • Both Tyrian and Cheshire have a riddle-like way of talking.
  • Tyrian’s last name, Callows, means an inexperienced or immature child. The cat sure love his jokes and not taking Alice seriously.
  • Tyrian’s here ‘to whisk you away’ to wonderland Ruby.

and for my last piece of evidence, I’ll quote Cheshire:

  • “We’re all mad here” (x)
A blessed thing it is to have a friend; one human soul whom we can trust utterly; who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults; who will speak the honest truth to us, while the world flatters us to our face, and laughs at us behind our back; who will give us counsel and reproof in a day of prosperity and self-conceit; but who, again, will comfort and encourage us in days of difficulty and sorrow, when the world leaves us alone to fight our own battle as we can.
—  Charles Kingsley
Promise

Hi everyone! Here I come with a new Harry story. I really liked writing this one so, hopefully, you all like it as well. 

Before getting into the story I wanted you to know REQUESTS ARE OPEN! however, It’ll take me a bit of time writing them (I don’t have as much free time as on holidays)

Nothing else just… Enjoy!!! :)


Harry and I laid on the garden’s ground, doing nothing but enjoying the serenity of the evening. As time went by, the sun got closer and closer to the horizon, leaving behind a wide range of warm colours, revealing a lovely landscape in front of us.

Doing this was something common in us, we would always spend the last summer evenings in the backyard realising how lucky we were to get to see such a beautiful phenomenon everyday.

The soft currents of air hit on our faces, giving a pleasing tickle on them and making the situation inviting to fall asleep. I turned to the side staring at him. His eyes were shut, hiding his green orbs, lips parted and chest lifting up and down in a calm pace, he was asleep.

I loved the way he looked when he was lost in his dreams, like if nothing could worry or torture him at all.

The stare didn’t last long, as he suddenly opened his eyes, without previous expectation “What are you smiling at, love?” “Harry, you scared me! Weren’t you sleeping?” he chuckled at my reaction “Well yeah, or at least trying so… but the feeling of your eyes on me wouldn’t let me” I bit my lip in embarrassment, moving my eyes away from his “Sorry” “No, don’t be sorry. I love it when I have your eyes on me” “Why?” he picked me by the chin and made me lock eyes with him “Because I can see love in them” that, and a kiss on the forehead were enough to make me feel an inner butterfly explosion “Just love for you” he delicately brushed my lips with his pads before placing a kiss on them.

After some minutes of peaceful silence, enjoying the warmth his body radiated, I heard the groan of his stomach begging for food. The awkward cough he let out to hide it made me laugh “Some cutie hungry out there?” “Mee” “Any suggestions on what to eat?” He shrugged, before answering “Dunno, whatever… the last one to get in the kitchen cooks!” Between childlike chuckles he stood up and ran towards the inside of the house, throwing some soil at me in the process “Hey you little cheater, wait!”

* Few days later *

Harry’s POV:

“… Here you have another type of ring, it’s the most demanded between many women” the shop assistant placed a shiny diamond ring in front of me “It’s really beautiful, but it seems to be quite expensive” “Well, compared to others it’s not that expensive but… sure it isn’t the cheapest of all” “How much?” “Six hundred dollars” my eyes opened wide but I tried my best to play it cool “Mmm, how about something a bit cheaper?” She nodded, walking to the next one “Here we have… ” I stopped listening when I spotted a simple but at the same time nice ring, that was definitely the one “Sorry for interrupting you, but I’ve just found the perfect one” “Oh, which one?” I smiled pointed at it “Uh, are you sure you want that one? I can show you others way more elaborated” I shook my head “No, it isn’t necessary thanks, I know that’s the one” she finally gave up her attempt to change my mind “Okay, come with me then”

***

From the moment I stepped out of the store onwards, I couldn’t think of anything else than in the events about to occur that same night: the setting of the situation, the nervousness my words would be filled of, her reaction, and the most important part, her answer. The idea of taking this step had been wandering around my mind for a long time. I knew she was the only thing I wanted to wake up to the rest of my life, her voice was the only thing I wanted to hear during our late night conversations, her characteristic clumsiness was the only thing I wanted to laugh to; but the fear and insecurity made me back down, until today.

I ran every of the errands Jess left me enthusiastically, dancing and singing all around the house, I was on cloud nine.

When I was about to move on to the other task the doorbell rang. At the other side of the door a young postman awaited me “Hi, may I help you?” “Good morning, is this Harry Styles?” I nodded “This is for you” He said, handing me a white envelope. I furrowed my eyebrows at the sight of it, I definitely wasn’t expecting anything like that. I tried to see who the emitter was but the only thing written on it was my name and address  “What’s this?” “I don’t know, but it seems like something important, my boss told me to give it to you in hand. Could you sign here please, I’ve got more work ahead” His comment made me come out from my wondering “Yeah, sorry” “Thank you”

I sat on the sofa, envelope in hand. Just one possible emitter came up to my mind, and I prayed for it not be the one. My hands began to slightly shake, and an uncomfortable sensation settled in my chest. Something inside me told me nothing would be the same after opening it, and that was what scared me the most, I had never had that feeling.

‘You can’t be like this forever’ I told myself before opening the envelop, worry intensifying as I revealed more of the paper contained.

‘Appreciated Mr. Styles,

My duty as Colonel of the United States Army is to make you aware our country needs your support.

We demand all our best soldiers to seek for our nation’s protection.

As a consequence we recruit you, Mr. Harry Edward Styles to fight for United States’ sake.

As you must know, you applied voluntarily for the army, therefore, you have no chance to refuse, it is a soldier’s duty and a fact that had to be taken into account before having decided to make such an important decision.

The duration of the mission is undefined.

The date of departure will be the 16th of September at eight o'clock in the morning. An official army bus will pick you up that day and time.

Yours Faithfully,

Colonel of the United States Army.’

As I read every word inked in the paper, the previous bliss I felt went away completely, this being replaced by a mixture of worry and outrage, outrage for my foolishness back when I applied for it. I noticed how tears began forming at the back of my eyes, making my vision blurry, I wiped them off sloppily and read the letter once again and again trying to find anything on it revealing it all had been a joke, but as time disappeared, my hopes did as well.

I let out a long sigh, throwing the paper away, and bringing my eyes to the picture of Jess that decorated the wall. Today was supposed to be the happiest day of her life and I was going to spoil it telling her I was leaving, without being certain whether I was coming back or not. That wasn’t fair, she deserved someone who could be by her side, not me.

The problem was I was too selfish to let her go.

***

“Curly, I’m home!” The sound of her voice brought me back to reality, an awful reality. I brushed my face with my hands, trying to take it as easy as possible and have the best look so she didn’t notice the upcoming news, when she walked into the living room with her bright smile, I found it pretty hard not to feel a stab of pain “Hey love, how was your day?” She collapsed on the couch and I gave her a gentle kiss, she then searched for my embrace “Good, as always. What about you?” "The usual, nothing out of the ordinary” she looked up to me with loving eyes, nuzzling into my neck and spreading kisses all over it “You have no idea how much I wanted the day to end, I just looked forward cuddling like this” she gave me a deeper kiss and I felt a bitter sensation on my chest, that was going to be one of our last kisses before my departure. When she pulled away with a frown drawn on her face, a lump made its home in my throat “Hazz, is everything okay?” There was a silence, my head hung low. I wasn’t able to pronounce a thing and the soft brush of her fingers on me didn’t do any better “Honey, I know you the best, you’re worried about something, it’s obvious. Please tell me so I can help you”

Just more silence.

Her frown disappeared only to be replaced by a earnest stare “Harry, what the hell is happening”

This was the moment.

Jessica’s POV:

The uncomfortable feeling in the upper part of my stomach grew and grew wider with his silence. Usually, when Harry had to tell something he just went straight at it and didn’t create this much tension, right now he was doing exactly the opposite, which meant the thing wasn’t any good. I looked down at his hands, they were intertwined and rubbed nervously against each other.

The heartbreaking look he gave me when he raised his head shattered me into thousands of pieces.

“You know before we knew each other I applied for the army, right?”

“Uhm… Yeah"  

“Today a guy brought me a letter… from the army… it said-”

“No… Harry please no” I interrupted him, knowing since that precise moment what his next words were going to be. He couldn’t do more than facing downwards “I’m so sorry…” Suddenly I felt out of breath, a heavy weight in my chest oppressed me. I noticed that hideous itching in my nose which showed up only when I was about to cry “No Harry. No, no, no! Please tell me this is a prank, where’s the camera? Harry tell me this is whatever you want but don’t you dare to tell me this is true” his sorrowful gaze intensified more as he said his next words “Jess, this is real… I’m leaving tomorrow” I couldn’t hold my tears anymore, he immediately wrapped his arms around me and whispered soothing words to my ear “Shh love, we’ll make it through this, don’t cry please, it breaks my heart, you don’t know how much It does” and although I knew he tried to calm me down, his words only made me cry more.

What was going to happen since this? Was I going to see the love of my life again? How was I going to carry on without him? A bunch of questions came to my mind and increased my worry. “Harry, I’m so afraid, I don’t want to lose you” he moved from the couch and squatted in front of me, holding my hand tightly “Baby, you don’t have to fear anything. Everything’s gonna be okay, you’re not going to lose me, I promise” he delicately kissed the back of my hand, looking straight at my eyes “C’mon Harry, you know that isn’t true, in the war nothing’s certain, once you’re there you don’t know what will happen next” more tears streamed down my face “Listen to me, when I say I swear I’m coming back, I mean it. I don’t care if that’s the last thing I do in my entire life” The confidence and determination in his words eased my state and gave me that glint of hope I needed, he always fulfilled his promises after all.

He got up and offered me his hand “Get up” I did as he said “Okay, this wasn’t the way I planned it. I wanted this night to be the one you remembered as the happiest of your life not the saddest” I tilted my head in confusion “Jess, six years ago, I didn’t know what love was, nor I believed in it; six years ago, I couldn’t figure myself head over heels for someone; six years ago I didn’t know what having a home was… six years ago I didn’t have you. A year later, I spotted a cute lost girl in the middle of the station and something today still unknown told me ‘Why don’t you go and help her?’ I did so, and when you looked at me with those naive eyes, I knew you were coming into my life to change it completely… I was right” he made a pause, trying not to let his emotions get through the speech “Even though you knew my past wasn’t a good one, you didn’t stop seeing me as something way better than the piece of shit I was, you helped me find the real inner me, you made me a better person… you… saved me” his deep voice dimmed as he said his last words, I knew he was reminiscing those times. I gently tucked some strands of his hair on his ear, trying to bring him back to reality. He kneeled down and opened a small box he got out from his back pocket, revealing the most beautiful ring I had ever seen “I know it isn’t the best moment to ask this but… will you marry me?” A broad smile drew in my face as I went down to the floor and kissed him intensely, breathing out against his lips “Of course I’ll marry you” his eyes brightened. He cupped my face and brought his lips against mine again, moving slowly in sync. My heartbeat rose with every single brush; this kiss was meaningful, with it he established his promise of coming back “Love, with this ring I swear to you I’ll fight with all my strength to come back. I’ll be here to make you my wife and be by your side forever, okay?” “Okay.”

Harry’s POV:

We got lost in our orbs. Jess’ chocolate eyes were still swollen due to all the tears, yet she looked like an angel.

I didn’t want to believe that was one of the last opportunities I had to see the glisten of her gaze before leaving for a long time.

She picked my hand in a warm, soft grip “This is going to be so hard” another time tears began forming in her eyes “Don’t cry, I hate to see you like this” I placed a kiss on her wet pomule, moving to her cheek. My lips slowly dragged from there and ended up on hers, brushing but not reaching the kiss. She closed her eyes and sighed at the feeling, squeezing my sides “Please…” her cinnamon scent hit me, creating a sea of lumps in my stomach. I cupped her cheek with one hand, while the other brought her closer. The kiss was needy, we tried to get the most of each other, feel all the love expressed with it. 

As it got more intense a bunch of images came to my mind; the morning kisses I used to steal taking advantage she was asleep, the secret touches we would share before anyone knew about our relationship, the days we used to spend sprawled in bed, sharing our deepest thoughts; the moments of mutual support…  all that now had to be kept under lock and key in my memories.

The familiar taste of the kiss contained a new ingredient: sadness; at one point I was able to notice a tear slip into it.   

Her lips felt so damn good it was painful.

When air began to lack, we pulled away and rested our foreheads against each other. Her hot breath fanned over my lips and with her hands she traced figures over my chest, beneath my shirt, making small shivers travel down my spine.

In that moment I realised I needed to make her feel loved one last time before I left. I wanted to prove my commitment and leave her clear she was the one thing I was going to fight for.

But before I could say a thing she let out a faint whisper “Harry, make love to me. Prove me you mean it when you say you’ll fight to come back”

And so I did.

I grabbed her hand and kissed its back, meeting her gaze, and lifting us up. I brushed the little facial hair I had against it, tickling the area and provoking ethereal giggles come out of her mouth, which made me smile “C’mere” she said, I brought my lips to hers and they danced along at a slow, sensual rhythm.

I captured every single brush in my mind, I was going to miss her so much…

Her hands travelled from my back up to my hair, tugging delicately at it, and making the hair on my arms rise. I broke the kiss trailing all the way of her neck, breathing in her scent. She let out a whimper when I placed a wet kiss on her soft spot, and a gasp when I cupped the back of her thighs to wrap her legs around me, carrying her to the bedroom.

Once there I sat her carefully in the middle of the mattress, like the valuable treasure she was. I crawled to meet her and admired the blessing I had right in front of my eyes, looking back at me with the same admiration. She sat on her knees and moved upwards to leave a chaste kiss on my forehead, moving away just to pull the hem of my shirt upwards and get rid of it. I breathed out a “You’re so beautiful” and she began tracing the figures inked on my skin, leaving a kiss on them when she finished. I let out a long sigh and threw my head back, enjoying the feeling of her plump lips exploring my chest in the sweetest way.

During her journey down my torso she came across the scar which laid upon on one of my sides. She stared at it, finally spreading kisses over it “I love you”. That pecks she left on my scar, which was the mark of a dark past, a past she shed a light on, reminded me of the many scars she helped me heal, I’m not talking only about the physical ones but the ones of the soul as well.

I unbuttoned her shirt slowly, I didn’t have any rush, this was about expressing all our feelings without words and we needed to take our time. Once her piece of cloth was removed and laid next to mine, I attached my lips to her chest, as I unclasped her bra. I had to feel her against me. We both moaned at the contact, as she straddled me. I placed my hands around her waist and brushed my lips against her collarbone, travelling down the valley of her breasts as she whimpered closing her eyes “H- Harry, kiss me” I looked up to her and remembered that very first time we kissed. It was the most clumsy yet adorable moment ever. She tried to make the first movement but completely failed. I still can make out the moment when she turned around and walked to me with really determined steps just to end up tripping and falling on my arms. She radiated shame and her cheeks were beyond red. In that moment I realised she was the most beautiful person in planet Earth, so I moved my head downwards and kissed her.

I did the same this time, obeying her orders. This one had more passion, our mouths fought against each other, our hands roamed all over our bodies. I moved forward laying her on her back and now I was the one hovering. I unbuttoned her jeans and left feather kisses on the smooth skin of her hips and legs as I slid them down, following I got rid of mine.

Now the only barrier among us was our underwear.

As my eyes travelled up her body I met her slightly red cheeks. I brushed my pads against them and let out a snicker. That blush made me reminisce the most magical experience in my life: our first time. I was the first person to touch her, to see her in her most vulnerable state. She was genuinely nervous and, when she tried to cover the beauty of her innocent body from my gaze, I felt I could burst right there in fondness. That night I didn’t do anything else that whispering sweet nothings to her ear to make her feel comfortable and safe between my arms. “So many years since the first time but you still blush… I love you so much” I nuzzled my head on her neck, sucking on her soft spot, the moan she let out sounded like heaven for me. I slided down to her breasts, paying attention to both of them, I craved for hearing that sound again. As I got lower I noticed she was ready for what we both desired so much. I looked to her and she nodded, allowing me to slide her last piece of cloth, looking directly at her eyes, following, I did the same with mine.

We both moaned at the feeling, not only because of being body against body but soul against soul. “Hold on love, let me get your necklace out” She frowned as I undid the clasp “I just want you to wear the ring while doing this”

“I love you”

“I love you too.”

And with that we connected our bodies, becoming one.

The room filled with our moans, tender touches and specially, love.

***

Jessica’s POV:

Sunrise.

The sun was rising, which meant there were only a few hours left before Harry’s departure.

I woke up not noticing anything beside me, which made me open my eyes instantly, did I sleep in and he left without saying goodbye? I got out of bed and reached for one of harry’s sweatshirts, rushing downstairs “Harry?” there was no answer “Harry?!” the same as before, I ran searching for him in all the rooms the house had, until I found his slightly bowed figure looking at the landscape our garden led to. I let out a long breath in relief, the hideous feeling leaving my stomach. “Hey, I didn’t find you anywhere, I was afraid you left without saying goodbye” he turned around to see me “Morning beautiful. I’ve been here all the time, I’d never do that to you” “What time is it?” “Seven“ “Only an hour left” “yeah…” we didn’t say anything else, the both of us staring at the rays of sun which gradually showed up from the horizon.

“I’ll write you whenever I have the opportunity” I smiled, looking down to my jewelled finger “Couldn’t wait longer to hear those words” he threw his arm across my back and brought me closer to him “I’m very proud of you” “Why?” “Because you’re taking this the best way. I knew you were strong, but this has left me with no words” I grinned “At first I didn’t process it the best way, but who would? I mean it’s hard to listen your boyfriend-” “Now fiancé” he corrected me, making me let out a loud laugh “Excuse me sir, as I was saying, it’s hard to listen from your fiancé he is going to the war for an unknown period of time. But you promised you were coming back and I fully trust in you… besides it’s not use to freak about this, it wouldn’t change a thing, would it?” “No, and that’s why I love you baby, you are the most mature woman I’ve ever met” I smiled, resting my head on his shoulder.

The sound of the doorbell made us automatically intertwine hands “It’s the time” I sadly nodded. We walked to the door, once we opened it a tall middle aged man stood in front of us “Good morning, I’m Colonel Franklin Western, I’ve come to pick up soldier Mr. Harry Styles” “Yeah, that’s me. Could you give me a minute?” “I will be waiting for you in the bus, don’t take too long please” “Thanks” Harry turned to face me “I love you, I love you endlessly, please don’t forget it. I’ll be back I promise. I’ll be back to make you my wife and to be by your side forever. I’ll fight for you, okay?” I nodded as a lump settled in my throat “Harry I’ll wait for you, even if it’s for a thousand years, when you come back I’ll be right here with my arms wide opened” he kissed me, that was going to be our last kiss for a while. I got the most of the moment, to remember the sensation of his lips against mine for as much time as I could. Our heavy breaths fanned against each other’s lips. I brought my hands to the clasp of my necklace undoing it “Take it with you okay? As a reminder that I’m with you, no matter we’re oceans away” He gave me warm smile as I placed it on him “See you soon Jess” “See you soon Harry”.

* A year later*

“Jess, I’ve just seen the postman, should we go and check?” My best friend Zoey said “What are we waiting for?” Every time the postman appeared I ran to the postbox in attempt to find a letter from Harry. After a whole year I haven’t received anything from him, yet I believed he was fighting to get back to me. I picked the lot of letters and searched for his one, I didn’t find anything. “Nothing… there’s nothing!” Disappointment was the only thing I could feel at that moment, but as I said before, after a year without news from him I got used to the feeling “Uhm Jess, I think you haven’t looked well enough…” “What do you mean?” “There’s one letter left” I frowned and looked inside, a white envelope appeared on my vision “It must be another bill…” “Well, why don’t you pick it and see?” I introduced my hand and picked it, my fingers covered the emitter. For an unknown reason I felt very nervous “Jess, move your hand so you can see who is it from" “I know Zoe but… I’m nervous” “Oh C'mon Jess!” She laughed and took it from my hand, once she read what was written the giggles stopped “Uhm here you have Jess” ‘From: Soldier Harry Edward Styles’ “Oh my… Zoey!” I covered my mouth with my hands and began to shake “Jess are you shaking?” “H- he’s alive… He’s alive!” I shouted “I knew he was going to keep his promise!” I hugged my brunette friend “Let’s get in so you can read it” we walked towards the house “ I’ll leave you some time to read it in private. I’ll prepare us something to eat” “Thanks, You’re the best friend ever” She smiled “Yeah yeah, now go and read that fluffy letter” While I made my way to the garden I felt how nervousness took control of my body. Once there I opened it quickly, I took a deep breath, preparing myself for his words:

'Monday 7th of September

Love,

It’s been a year since I left, and I’m here writing you this letter, I’m keeping my promise!

You haven’t got any idea of how much I miss you baby, I know you do too.

I’ve written you a bunch of letters during all this time but I think you haven’t received any of them because there’s been no answer back from you. I understand it, the colonel told us of a hundred letters sent, twenty only reach their destinations, I hope i’m lucky this time and you get to read this.

Things here are being hard, not gonna lie, but the thought of one day coming back home to you and our bright future helps me take this as easy as the situación allows it.

I want to mention that I dream of you every single night, imagining I’m in front of you admiring how good you look on your wedding dress, staring at your eyes and listening those words I’m yearning to hear from you “I do”.

Before I go to sleep and when I wake up I kiss the necklace you gave me. I feel somehow I’m kissing you, although it’s way too far from being that.

I’ve made some friends here, their names are Louis, Liam and Niall. During this time we’ve had the opportunity to get to know our stories, they all have something to fight for and they work hard everyday to reach their purposes. We all take care of each other. I was wondering if you’re okay with them attending our wedding, they’re very nice lads and we’ve grown really strong bonds.

As I assume you’ve never received any of my previous letters, you must be very worried and even have started to think I wasn’t able to keep my promise. If this letter reaches you I want you to stop thinking that way because I’m alive and giving my everything.

If you receive this reply me, I need to read how you’re feeling.

Stay strong, please.

I love you, always,

Hazz’

As I read the letter I felt a great relief. His words made me renew my hope. I ran to the studio to write another one as a reply for him, placing on it all the feelings I got to experiment during all that awful year.  

*6 months later *

The rays of sunlight hitting on my face made me wake up from my deep sleep, I snuggled in the pillow that replaced Harry’s body. Breathing in his fresh scent as if he was right there, probably because of the shirt I was wearing, which was his. I brought the pillow closer to me noticing it was harder than usual “What’s this?” I frowned propping myself up “Morning baby!” I opened my eyes wide, being unable to pronounce any word “Hey, are you okay?” The bewilderment didn’t let me say a thing “I-I-I… Harry!!!” I immediately hugged him as tears of happiness slid down my cheeks. He opened his arms taking me into the embrace “God I missed you so much… I can’t believe I’m here” he broke the hug and began spreading kisses all over my face and neck as I giggled. I straddled him and went to tug at his curls, finding there were none “Where’s your hair?” He laughed “I had to cut it, they didn’t allow anyone to have a longer hair than this one” he pointed his brand new haircut “Oh, I’ll miss your curls… but I have nothing against this one, looks really good on you” he chuckled, and the sound made shivers travel down my spine, how I missed his voice, his touch, everything about him. “This year and a half has been the hardest in my life. Not knowing how you were or felt killed me everyday” he moved his head downwards his face ending in contact with my chest “Baby I know, I’ve felt that way too… but now you’re here, with me, we don’t have any reason to be sad anymore” I wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly “Ouch!” he whimpered in pain “What?” “I’ve got some bruises on my chest” I moved away and got rid of his shirt. His chest was stained with purple spots and some scars “Oh Harry” I pushed him down the bed and placed a kiss on every foreign spot in his torso, in attempt to reduce the pain. “Better?” “Yeah…” he answered as he closed his eyes.

I let out a snicker when I saw how his chest lifted and went down with every breath, he was falling asleep. With a raspy voice he said “Let’s continue sleeping, I want to cuddle with my baby” to what I answered “And I want to wrap my arms around you and never let you go” We slid in the covers, closing our eyes. Time after I heard some snores coming out from his mouth, that sound which irritated me before, now made me the happiest woman in the world. Little by little I took off to the land of dreams with him.

He came back… he came back for me, as he promised.

Ok listen, I’ve been thinking nonstop lately about how fortunate we are to have Taylor. It’s so rare that after all these years, our relationship with her only continues to grow. Although she’s arguably the most famous artist out there, she continues to let us now how much we mean to her, and that she’ll never leave us behind. Isn’t it beyond beautiful to know that someone cares so much about you, that they’ll always make sure to maintain your friendship with them?! It’s absolutely incredible that our love and appreciation for each other will never fade, and it will always remain constant. What we have with her is something I’ll never take for granted, and be thankful for each passing day.

Here’s to another year.


Here’s to new friendships, new promises, new beginnings. Here’s to college life and living away from home for the first time. Here’s to new subjects and new challenges. Here’s to another heartbreak and another one after that. Here’s to drunk nights spent in the club and the nights spent playing card games with tea to keep you warm. Here’s to that one person who has stayed by you all this while, and here’s to that one person who still crosses your mind everyday. Here’s to first jobs and first paychecks. Here’s to horrible bosses we love to curse. Here’s to road trips and shopping sprees; here’s to expensive wines, cheap beer and street foods. Here’s to new relationships and relationships that couldn’t last. Here’s to first apartments and mounds of bills to pay. Here’s to leaving some dreams behind and here’s to finding new ones. Here’s to exploring new places and here’s to living life like we’ve never known before.


This time, it will be about celebrating ourselves, about embracing our beauty, accepting ourselves as flawed as we are because we’ll never be as young as we are now.


So, raise your glasses;


Here’s to another era of our lives.

—  turning twenty.
Conversations I hear

I was serving two young women today, placing her items on Layby (lay away) and it was a bunch of frozen stuff.
Me: I love frozen. Elsa such a great character.
1st woman: It’s a good movie, but did you hear people wanna give Elsa a girlfriend? Isn’t that awesome?
Me: I did. It’s a great idea.
Her friend scoffs and rolls her eyes.
2nd woman: Could we all just leave Disney alone? Gays have enough.
I frown, but don’t comment, but her friend seemed annoyed.
1W: What’s wrong if Elsa is a lesbian?
2W: It just seems to unrealistic to me!
A guy who was waiting in line behind them, who had clearly been listening decided to talk.
Guy: I agree with you, an Ice Queen is far more plausible than a woman being a lesbian.
2W: …..
The first woman and I were trying very hard not laugh.

Let's talk about James Sirius Potter

You know what I’ve been thinking about? James Sirius Potter.
He does not get enough attention. Everyone is talking about how great Albus is and leaves James behind. That’s cool. We all have our favourite character. Believe me, I love Albus. But for me James is the most interesting one and here are my reasons why:

1. I imagine him to be like Sirius and James. A bit mischievous, but charming and flirty. He’s a funny guy who is confident. Girls love him and a few even have a crush on him. He has a lot of friends and everybody likes him. He is also kind of a prankster and goes through detention more than others. He walks around always with this grin that reminds me of Sirius and James. He is that type of guy everybody wants to be friends with.

2. Imagine Punk!James. Black and ripped Jeans and dark t-shirts. Sometimes he wears a skeleton shirt and a leather jacket. He already has black hair, so that’s quite fitting.

3. He is a total quidditch addict and knows literally everything. From fouls to tricks. He even knows all the players of his favourite Team. I imagine him to play in the school Team. Either a chaser or a seeker.

4. He is smarter than he looks and really intelligent. It was surprising first but noone expected him to be that good at school. He talks like an adult and expresses himself in a formal and intelectual way.

5. He was jealous that his dad payed more attention to his younger siblings. They fight about that a lot.

6. His Mum is his hero. He adores her and loves that she played in holyhead harpies once. They get along quite well.

7. He is good at politics and discusses his dad’s jobs often. He knows so much about it, he was offered the Job as his assistent. He decided he wanted to finish school first before becoming an auror.

8. He is a little nerdy and watches lots of TV-Shows. He is into horror films. His favourite bands are metallica, my chemical romance, green day etc.

9. His best friend is the total opposite. Like you know, blonde, shy, blue eyes etc. But they bonded over getting in trouble together.

And here comes my number 10. First a little introduction. Not that I don’t like Albus. I love him and fell in love with him in the cursed child. I also find it ADORABLE that he’s got lily’s eyes. But everyone focusses on him and Not his older brother. Yes, Albus looks like his dad: black hair, green eyes. But what about James?
Well, one thing I realised was how similar he is to Harry. And I teared up when I thought about it. It made me fall in love with him. The thing is:

James looks exactly like his dad but has his mother’s eyes.

If you have more things to add, do it. I’m curious. There’s not enough fanart about James in my opinion.

So let’s talk about James here, okay? : )