all the hail the mighty glow cloud

All hail that which did not create us, but can certainly destroy us.
—  Welcome to Night Vale, episode 93
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And here we have it! First prize, ‘any drawing of your choice.’ Our winner asked for the migHTY GLOW CLOUD ALLHAIL. There is Kai’s wonderful original art and then some fun edits I did! We hope you like it @just–void

So my 10 year old sister spent ages pointing to the sky for some reason and for some reason I felt the need to put on my best Cecil voice and say “dear listeners, some of you may have noticed a small child pointing to the sky. no one has any idea why the small child is pointing upwards or what she is pointing at but Carlos-”

And a girl on the other side of the road interrupted by yelling “ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY GLOW CLOUD!" 

Night Vale Elementary held a PTA meeting today to discuss adding a library to the school. Steve Carlsberg and several other parents voiced concerns about the addition as a library would require the employment of a librarian. Steve Carlsberg also expressed concerns about the growling PTA members heard coming from beneath the school gym. However, The mighty Glow Cloud (ALL HAIL) relieved all fears PTA members might have by dropping the corpses of several lions on the gymnasium floor.

Welcome to Night Vale starter sentences

“Show me an egg. That’s not an egg. What’s an egg? Who let you in here?“

“They come in twos. You come in twos. You, and you. KILL YOUR DOUBLE.“

“Someone’s going to kill you someday ______, and it will involve a mirror. Mark my words.”

"Oh, _____… For you freedom was never an option.”

“People are not allowed in the _______. It is possible you will see hooded figures in the _______. Do not approach them.“

“We all want to live forever, right? Wrong.”

“All hail the mighty glow cloud.“

“______ seems really proud of me, too! S/he hid from me for three days, the longest time ever!”

“We are not history yet. We are happening now. How miraculous is that?“

“It’s really a lack of imagination that makes children check under the bed, I mean, like monsters couldn’t be floating invisibly above you?”

“The faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home does lots of things…”

“Immortality is stupid. Think before you wish.”

“We do not have answers. I am not certain we even have questions.“

“I’M A BAGEL WRAPPER…YOU…JERK!”

“Death is only the end if you assume the story is about you.”

“… Everything about him/her was perfect, and I fell in love instantly.”

“…I…don’t…remember having a brother/sister…?”

“The past is always better than the present, and the future is the worst of all.”

“It’s better that I don’t read this aloud, better that you not know. Tell your family that you love them.”

“Are we living a life that’s worth the harm?”

“Getting blood out of a stone is pretty easy if you loosen your definition of ‘stone’.”

“Maybe my lazy day isn’t quite done after all…”

“Alligators. Can they kill your children? Yes.”

“Some of us are not here. We leave space for them. Space, that has been emptied by time.”

“A life of pain is the pain of life, and you can never escape it.“

“The terror you feel in quiet moments is not misplaced just mistimed.”

“Wow! That’s a very specific and painful horoscope. Thanks for nothing, stars!“

“Someone’s going to get some kind of lead poisoning.”

“I-I kicked it… and I kicked it again. Then ______ helped me pin it down and animal control tried to sedate it and I wanted to beat it to death with a hammer. But I had no hammer…I only had self control.”

“The view is literally breath-taking!”

“It also has torture cubicles…but I don’t think anyone is going to make _____ use those.”

“His/her hand has been removed because of too many overdue library books.”

“I ate one of your ______. Sorry, I got nervous. I’ll replace it with a _______ as soon as I’m mayor.”

“I myself was frozen, sure that any movement would lead to death.”

“What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three legs at evening? I don’t know, but I have it trapped in my closet. Send help.”

“Finally on this show; something weird to talk about!”

“What danger are we in? What mystery needs to be explored?”

“If you say guns kill people one more time, I/we will shoot you with a gun, and you will, coincidentally, die.”

“So beautiful! It is so beautiful it hurts." 

“Wait. Hold on. _______ is apparently getting agitated, and…flailing around their office and howling?”

“Vote correctly or never see your loved ones again!”

“Have you ever asked yourself… why the _______ is off limits?”

“Rabbits are not what they seem to be.”

“It feels good to have a crime-free tomorrow, doesn’t it? It makes any crimes that happen today feel justified.“

“Remember: if you see something say nothing, and drink to forget.”

“Did you just accuse my _____ of being a secret operative?”

"That was really gross!—-Do it again!”

“Do you get sexually aroused by ______? That would be weird. Not to be judgmental…but it would be weird.”

“Plastic bags. PLASTIC. BAGS.“

“A thousand ways in, no way out. Subway. Eat fresh. Eat terribly, terribly fresh. Terribly, awesomely, gruesomely, terrifyingly fresh.”

"I don’t know what this thing is that we’re living in, but it’s not the world.“

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Here are two backgrounds of ‘Waiting for the Bus in the Rain’ for @wolfiedream42​, enjoy! -Cas   W̬̥͉͈͓̗͚͜a͜i̢̝̖̖̰̟t̘̖̙͠i̼̘̗n̺̲̯̖g̦̝̦̕ ̪̙̦̦͔͞f̗̲̖͈̯̜̭o͎̜̮̙̪̗̭r̠̼̯̠ ̻̱̦̘͟t͓͖̭h̫͕̭̳̟͚͡e̖ ̫̳̹̱ͅb̭̥̲͈̻̩̮u̥̟͈͡s͏͉̣̣ ͇͍͉͕̩̳̮ḭ̴̪̤͚n̰̟̳ ̬̦̝̱̗͕͠t҉̼̠͈h͕̭̫̼̟̦͢e̜̖̬̼̳ ̪̞͕͖͉͉ͅr̠͠a̯̻̱͜i̳͓̼̰̼͔͎ṋ̯ ̣̰̭i̵͈̟̤n̸̟ ͉͍t͎̙̦̖̝̺̝h̵͓e̵͉̝ ̰̕ ̡͙̙r͡a̶̙̝͈͓i̲͇͉͕̬͘ṉ ̴̞̮̭͖̱̯͚W̵A͉I̶̺̞̭ṰI̪̼N͍͇͠G̪͖͚͍̗̤͈͢ ̨̳̱̝̼F̷̦̦̹͙̥͈͕O̹͘R͍͓̝̻̭̘̥ ͕͈̭̬̲͢T̵H͎̩͉̩E̞̺̺̤͡ ̼̺̻̰͙̭B̖̙U̢S͔̜͖̺͖ ́IN͇̭̠̤ ҉͔͚͉T̖̱̩̤̤͢H͉̤͓͞É͖̹͈̝͕ ̵R͍̠̖A̡̺̭̙I̞͉͓̭̞͜N͍͘

Tips for those just starting high school:

•Remember to stay away from Librarians
•Do not go into the dog park. It is forbidden.
•All writing utensils are BANNED.
•The Sheriff’s Secret Police are watching you at all times.
•ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY GLOW CLOUD.
•Do not, under any circumstances, accept any WHEAT or WHEAT BYPRODUCT from ANYONE.
•Do your homework.