all star dlc

The “Play As Samuels” DLC we will never see:

Because I’ve been hanging around certain tumblr friends too much (@probablynotasquirrel, @rosy-station, I’m looking at you especially :P) I’ve been trying to think up ideas of how such a DLC/Co-op mode would work…

Working Joes: Become the easiest type of enemy to deal with. Samuels takes them down hand-to-hand. He automatically counters any blow they try to strike him with, and his blows can’t be countered by them (a very satisfying role reversal). If he throws a Working Joe against something, a crater of impact damage appears on the object. :D

The Alien: Will chase and kill him if he tries to attack it or escape from it, but if he stops moving (maybe a button activates a “freeze” mechanic, similar to Ripley’s “hold breath” mechanic) the alien will lose interest and walk away. The catch to this being that, while frozen, other enemies (Working Joes!) will still attack him.

Human Survivors: Become the biggest threat when playing as Samuels. If we’re going off the assumption that he’s similar to Bishop and can’t harm humans, he has no way to defend himself against them. If the player tries to aim a weapon at a human, the sight automatically gets pushed to the side and won’t settle on the target; it will almost always miss. And if a human gets killed (by a Joe, the Alien, etc.) within a certain range of where Samuels is standing, a large chunk gets taken off his health bar, fulfilling the second part of the behavioral inhibitor, “cannot allow, by omission of action, a human being to be harmed.” It’s far safer for Samuels to just avoid them.

Other gameplay differences:

  • He can open certain doors and sealed vents with brute force
  • Immune to that green poison gas stuff
  • Can’t hack terminals (doesn’t have an access tuner)

… All this seems like an awful lot of stuff to code into a game, so I completely understand why this DLC doesn’t exist. :(

(Feel free to reblog/reply with other ideas!)

Breaking News! Microsoft and Rareware have Just announced their first Conker game in a whole Decade! That’s right, a whole Ten (well, 9, but who cares) Years, we’ve been without the conker game after the massive outrage that Live & Reloaded caused, fans never got a sequel. Some have been begging Microsoft for a sequel, so bad that they’ve actually sold their soul to satan for a mere chance of there being a conker sequel. while others are glad they never got a sequel, because “it’ll most likely be a half-assed game with no thought or effort put in, like it’s been for the past 12 years”. 
But want it or not, the sequel is HERE!

Conker’s Fight to Save UR A$$! is a Money-collecting 3D Beat-em-up game (Think Double Dragon Neon + The  Batman Arkham games)
The money you collect in the game can be used to buy upgrades and new moves. However, you can also spend 400 Microsoft Points for $5 in-game dollars. Some things can only be purchased with Microsoft Points though, such as new characters, new levels, new costumes, some of the moves, some of the weapons and some of the shoes. That’s right, shoes, customization and collectible shoes that can be worn during the online-only multi-player, which is a major part of the game. Microsoft had this to say. “We saw Team Fortress 2’s popularity and decided we needed something similar”

Much like all 10 of Microsofts previous games, Conker’s Fight 2 Save UR A$$! is being hyped up to be better than Sonic Jesus on crack creating the super big bang. It’s constantly shoved in your face I mean, advertised on TV, internet ads, Youtube, stores, blimps, the moon and everywhere else. Gaming journalists like me, IGN and Gamespot were BRIBED WITH SO MUCH FUCKING MONEY I CAN BUY 600 MANSIONS AND STILL HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY THE SUN I’M RICH RICH RIIIIIIIICH- I mean… very well informed on how amazing this game will be, and while i can’t technically review it yet because I haven’t even played it and it’s not out yet, but I can say that this is undeniably the greatest game of all time and can not be surpassed by anything. 

there have been some complaints all over the internet that this game is just a cash grab to get people’s money due to the expensive all-star cast being DLC, and to that, i have to say this. Why complain about DLC when if you think about it, every game on Steam is DLC? check and mate, you so called “gamers”. I, for one, can’t wait to play as a miniature Titan from the immensely popular game “Titanfall”, Master Chief from “Halo” and Banjo from “Banjo-Kazooie”
I don’t care if they cost $15.00 - $17.50 all together (or $20 if you get the bundle with all 3 of them) Because I love Microsoft’s big meaty cock the game itself is and will be literal perfection. And I definitely DO NOT have a gun to my head to say this.

Have Fun
Love the game
Play it

Microsoft’s Great
Even better with the DLC

And if you want to pre-order the Limited Collector’s Edition, go to this link right here. (X)
Trust me, it’s worth every penny of the $250 you spend