Do you think Jonathan still blames himself for wills disappearance after he returns?
I’m sure he does
I’m sure he does when he hears his mom comforting Will after another nightmare he lays in bed and repeats the words i should’ve been there over and over digging his fingernails into his hands. When he sees his mom exhausted after doing to many shifts Just so she can try and pay off wills hospital bills the words I should’ve been there rings loud in his ears. When will becomes distant and moody and pastor Charles says something about PTSD Jonathan can taste the words I should’ve been there on his tongue. The doctors tell them that will has something growing in him. Something from that place…. Jonathan feels like he can hear the world screaming you should’ve been there. Somewhere along the way Jonathan’s mantra of I should’ve been there becomes Its all my fault. It feels like all his fault when he looks at the IV marks on the insides of wills arm from the testing at the lab or when he sees the bags under his mom eyes. It’s all fault he remarks to his mom one day and for the first time in weeks there isn’t just weariness in her eyes there’s anger too. How dare you she says make this all your fault. She tells him that it’s hers for not being there and that labs for doing unsafe experiments but not his Never his. She tells him what she told him that day in the police station “this is not yours to fix alone” and then she holds him. Jonathan can feel his body shaking but he can’t Stop it and here his mom is rocking him like he’s a baby on there kitchen floor but the mantra it’s all my fault is starting to become this isn’t yours to fix alone.Thanks for letting me go off I needed to get this out