all of this is in no way my fault

anonymous asked:

Do you think Jonathan still blames himself for wills disappearance after he returns?

I’m sure he does

I’m sure he does when he hears his mom comforting Will after another nightmare he lays in bed and repeats the words i should’ve been there over and over digging his fingernails into his hands. When he sees his mom exhausted after doing to many shifts Just so she can try and pay off wills hospital bills the words I should’ve been there rings loud in his ears. When will becomes distant and moody and pastor Charles says something about PTSD Jonathan can taste the words I should’ve been there on his tongue. The doctors tell them that will has something growing in him. Something from that place…. Jonathan feels like he can hear the world screaming you should’ve been there. Somewhere along the way Jonathan’s mantra of I should’ve been there becomes Its all my fault. It feels like all his fault when he looks at the IV marks on the insides of wills arm from the testing at the lab or when he sees the bags under his mom eyes. It’s all fault he remarks to his mom one day and for the first time in weeks there isn’t just weariness in her eyes there’s anger too. How dare you she says make this all your fault. She tells him that it’s hers for not being there and that labs for doing unsafe experiments but not his Never his. She tells him what she told him that day in the police station “this is not yours to fix alone” and then she holds him. Jonathan can feel his body shaking but he can’t Stop it and here his mom is rocking him like he’s a baby on there kitchen floor but the mantra it’s all my fault is starting to become this isn’t yours to fix alone.

Thanks for letting me go off I needed to get this out
my advice to the signs
  • aries: chill out buddy, it's not that important.
  • taurus: don't work yourself to death its ok to slack off once
  • gemini: not everyone will always forgive you for everything!
  • cancer: just talk to people about how you feel, don't let them guess
  • leo: it's not all your fault, don't be so hard on yourself
  • virgo: take a little distance and realize you can't control everything
  • libra: people like you just fine. no need to keep trying to prove yourself
  • scorpio: don't step on other people on the way there. be considerate
  • sagittarius: a little stability is nice if you try it, really!
  • capricorn: you're doing great. it's okay to relax and let loose for a bit.
  • aquarius: try to accept that other people won't always agree with you.
  • pisces: don't lose track of yourself trying to please others.
2

If you thank the Butterfly sincerely, you unlock too-adorable-to-handle-bashful-bug-mode!

Are you happy Anon? I whipped up some Ombre from Delicate Wings by @imthepunchlord and it’s ALL YOUR FAULT!!! LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY PERSON!!!

I even threw in some Black Plague

I think Ombre has mini panic attacks every time Ladybug is out on her own.

youtube

Comic dub of an Overwatch fancomic by @ghoultit - featuring the voices of Tiana Camacho, @totalspiffage, @hnilmik and myself! The reason this comic even exists at all is also, apparently, my fault in some way. I accept responsibilty for my complicity in the creation of this monster o:

If you enjoyed that, check out my other Overwatch comic dubs!
Safesearch Off
The Legend of the Two Dragons
When I Was a Little Girl
Legendary Skins are Weird

  • Ruby: I’m sorry.
  • Jaune: Huh?
  • Ruby: This... this is all my fault. I should have never dragged you guys into this.
  • Jaune: You didn't drag us in. We wanted to come.
  • Ruby: B-but you didn't know about Tyrian, or about -
  • Jaune: Ruby. We lost... we lost Pyrrha. But... you lost her, too. And Penny, and your team, and, in a way, your sister. But you're still here, despite everything you've lost, everything you could still lose... you chose to come out here. Because you felt like you could make a difference.
  • Ruby: I...
  • Jaune: You didn't drag us along. You gave us the courage to follow you.
8

supergirl season 2a meme → [2/8] scenes

“I think I owe you an apology. For not creating an environment where you felt like you could talk about this with me. All those years we spent together growing up, the endless nights talking and sharing, now I realise they were all about me and my secret. There’s never been room for you, and that’s my fault, and I’m so sorry. I know this is not the same at all, but I do know how it feels to keep a part of yourself shut off. To keep it inside. And I know lonely that can make you feel. But Alex, you are not alone.”

I will never be over the way their conflict in this episode was resolved…

Mon-El straight up said that he was an ass and admitted that she was right and he was wrong without any prompting whatsoever. And conceded that her way of handling things was better and more effective. Plus, Rather than being upset or angry that she stepped on his heart and tricked him, he’s impressed. (all while having just been supposedly rejected by her)

One of my favorite things about him is that - even if it takes him a minute sometimes - he’s always cool with accepting his mistakes and faults and admitting when he’s wrong. He knew he had screwed up and that she had every right to be mad at him so he didn’t try to push her to forgive him or anything like that. He was there to apologize and tell her that he saw his mistakes, he saw the position he had put her in and he knew that it wasn’t right for him to do that.

Honestly, I don’t want a perfect character that never makes mistakes. I want a flawed character who can own up to it when they see where they have faltered. A character who listens to the people around them and doesn’t write off what they say for the sake of what they want. Like I said - it may take him a minute but he always gets there.

Also him acknowledging that things were easier when he was an asshat was actually a good thing. Because it’s him pointing out that he doesn’t see things or feel the same way about things as he did before.

Remedy (6)

Bucky x reader

Bucky’s POV.

Notes: trigger warnings! Implications of sexual abuse, mentions of torture, swearing, injuries, smut-ish, fluffy, cute-ass Bucky who knows exactly how to be sweet and careful.

Taglist is fixed! Please message me if you want to be tagged. (not on this post pls, just message; I just can’t keep up otherwise!)

Remedy (1) Remedy (2) Remedy (3) Remedy (4) Remedy (5)

Keep reading

“Self-loathing”

Did you catch that remark? Mary says to John in his head that he’s doing this. We are told John doesn’t want help, that he doesn’t accept help. He’s punishing himself, carrying around the memory of a dead woman just to endure pain constantly. He hates himself for not loving Mary the way he was supposed to. He hates himself for letting everything get this far. He tried to do it but that life was never going to be enough and deep down he always knew it. He knew it a month after their marriage, when he kept all his laundry folded and “ready to pack”. John thinks HE is the one responsible for all of this destruction. “Why is everything always my fault?!”  He let it get this far out of hand because he didn’t have the guts to stand up for what he wanted.  He is drowning in guilt because he used to be the hero, the one who never doubted, the faithful one. That all came crashing down when Sherlock left him after the fall. John hasn’t been the same man since and he knows it. But when Sherlock came back, John tried his best to have dual lives. He demoted his life-partner to “best friend” and settled down with a wife in the suburbs. Doing so killed his wife and almost killed his best friend, too.  If only he had come clean about everything when he had the chance! If only he accepted the life he wanted when it was right there in front of him. He’s desperate for Sherlock not to make that mistake. John could’ve had it all with Sherlock, but he was too afraid so he lost everything. Sherlock still has a chance, with Irene. John has to know if Sherlock is hers – John can’t believe Sherlock hasn’t gone after what he’s always thought Sherlock wanted.  “Learn from my mistakes – Don’t miss your chance like I did. There’s still time for you two. There’s no time for me.” 

i feel pretty empty rn. i’m not sure if it’s all in my head and i just need good sleep or what but i feel lonely and it sucks. i know that makes no sense to you because you see that i’m constantly surrounded by people but it’s more like i feel as if i don’t have any friends to talk to anymore about anything. all my emotions and problems ive had lately have been just sitting inside me eating me alive as they continue to pile up. yes i have you guys and other friends but i don’t feel secure . i don’t feel like any of those friends really know me and i hardly trust anyone anymore. maybe it’s my own fault for being so closed off to the world because of my fears. either way i hope i can find a comfortable place for myself soon.

‘No one makes me feel the way you do,’ she says into his chest, her voice muffled by his t-shirt, arms entwined in the twilight evening.

He laughs a little, runs his fingers through her hair, and looks up at the brightness of the stars, waiting for her to continue.

'It’s all your fault. When I see you in the mornings and your eyes are sleepy and your hair is still ruffled; when your roll up your shirtsleeves, or lean back and show off that bit of skin above your Calvins; when I look up from working and catch you looking at me as well, and the way you wink and carry on answering the question as if you weren’t reaching for my hand under the table that very minute- I’m incapable of anything other than longing for your touch, for it just to be me and you in that room, forever.’

He looks down then, smiles his beautiful lazy golden smile, and leans in even closer to whisper into her honeycomb curls.

'Oh, you don’t quite understand what you do to me either. You do the most incredible things to my heart, you can’t quite understand.’

—  j.f // and a new love is budding, built on a broken heart and golden smile • excerpts of stories I will never wrote @alotofunansweredquestions
the signs as star quotes
  • Aries: “The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff.” —Carl Sagan
  • Taurus: “Each star is a mirror reflecting the truth inside you.” —Aberjhani
  • Gemini: "The cosmos is within us. We are made of star-stuff. We are a way for the universe to know itself.” —Carl Sagan
  • Cancer: “Yours is the light by which my spirit's born: - you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars.” —e. e. cummings
  • Leo: “There is no shortage of fault to be found amid our stars.” —John Green
  • Virgo: “It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.” —Lisa Mantchev
  • Libra: “Stars are the scars of the universe.” —Ricky Maye
  • Scorpio: “When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Sagittarius: “Moonlight drowns out all but the brightest stars.” —J.R.R. Tolkien
  • Capricorn: “Non est ad astra mollis e terris via." (”There is no easy way from the earth to the stars.”) —Seneca
  • Aquarius: “Are we human because we gaze at the stars, or do we gaze at the stars because we are human?” —Neil Gaiman
  • Pisces: “Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.” —Sarah Williams
Framework Theory

Okay, I’ll explain my theory as I explained it on Twitter. The Framework from 4x15 of Agents of Shield showed some gnarly things for our agents, and some of which people don’t understand, so let me break it down in a way that I processed it via characters.

The framework works in the way that it resorts people to not their “happy” places but a state of their “ideal” places. Where things are simplified to a fault and nothing is at all causing them “pain” because it’s baseline stuff. As we know, any relationship causes pain on any level. None is completely perfect. The framework doesn’t cut pain from the emotions, it just puts them somewhere it won’t have a chance to exist, meaning this: Shield does not exist in the framework because it is the source of their strife.

Now, to explain.

Daisy Johnson: Skye was founded by Shield, only because she was part of the rising tide, a hacker group that was commuted to uncovering the secrets of Shield. Since Shield doesn’t exist here, it means that Hydra was the one Skye hacked into. In the same way she joined Shield, Ward recruited her into Hydra. And because of that, Skye never felt the pain of Ward’s betrayal. He never had to change to Hydra because he always was. The world was simplified for her, cutting out the middle man and /that/ is why she’s with Ward and not Lincoln, someone who made her genuinely happy. Ward never hurt her, so she remained happy with him.

Phil Coulson: Coulson has told us before that he got recruited into Shield because in College, as a history major, he started to uncover just how much history was made by Shield. Since Shield doesn’t exist, Coulson never found any of that out, leaving no recruitment into Shield and having him choose the path of School Teacher instead. He teaches people to fear inhumans because without Shield he didn’t have the experience with them, or Daisy in general, that led him to know they aren’t bad guys.

Alphonso Mackenzie: His story is relatively simple. He recently explained to us, or Yoyo, that he lost a child before. In this framework, his life was already fine before. So it just cut out that pain for him. He has his ex wife and a daughter that grew up with him this time. Without any Shield to get entranced by and no reason to turn to Hydra, he lives a peaceful Suburban life.

Melinda May: May’s mother was a spy, something we knew from before and we’re led to believe she followed her mother’s footsteps. Since most of their before-mentioned stories stated the same, I have no real reason to believe May’s changed at all, other than instead of joining Shield’s spy organization, she turned to Hydra since Shield doesn’t exist. She never meets Coulson and lives a stoic life as a Hydra agent.

Fitz&Simmons: To do this separately, I must first do them together and say this. Without Shield, these two never got recruited into the academy and never met. As much as all of us Fitzsimmons fans hate to admit, Fitz and Jemma really cause each other a lot of pain. Even so, we understand that life’s relationships should be that way. Uphill battles for large payouts with people we love. The framework, it doesn’t compute that.

Jemma Simmons: I have many reasons to believe that framework Jemma isn’t dead. For one, she located her avatar. It was explained to us that the only reason so many people could exist in the framework was because of the Darkhold which was able to help obtain all of that information. But when Jemma explains that if you die in the framework, you die in the real world it’s because the collective consciousness that was delivered into the framework ceases to exist. If Jemma was able to locate her avatar it means that her AI consciousness was able to keep her place, which means she still lives. Her death could’ve been staged for many reasons, but that’s up to speculation.

Leopold Fitz: Fitz lives in a world now where he’s literally on top of it. He was told as a child by his father he wasn’t smart enough and wouldn’t be anything. Now, Fitz is everything. He never meets Jemma Simmons, never falls for her, and never goes through any emotional trauma to get her back or live on. He’s content with his life as it is then.

I honestly believe this is what’s going on, and I really don’t think that Hydra and Shield “swapped places” or that Shield had fallen. If that were the case, May and Daisy would’ve stayed loyal to Shield and Coulson wouldn’t very well be alive.

So fear not, my fellow agents.

It’s a bit like turning into a werewolf, I think. I want to keep it from happening — I can think, don’t do this, this is really bad, don’t do this — doesn’t matter. It is so far beyond my control. I can feel it happening, something physical, something to me, something within me, something giving way. The rage is hot and red — no wonder I want to pour all the blood out of me.

I always think, it’s not my fault the moon is full.

I had a terrible, terrible idea yesterday: Victor Hugo’s My Immortal. Well, bits and pieces of a terrible idea.

  • “In the 1990s, Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore was Headmaster at Hogwarts. He was an old man of about one hundred and ten years of age; he had occupied the position of Headmaster since 1965. Although this detail has no connection whatever with the real substance of what we are about to relate, it will not be superfluous, if merely for the sake of exactness in all points, to mention here the various rumors and remarks which had been in circulation about him from the very moment he became Headmaster.” …and then it trails off into Dumbledore’s budget, part of which is Avril Lavigne posters.
  • “The reader has, no doubt, already divined that Gerard and the remainder of the band are no other than Volsemort and the Death Dealers.”
  • so many tangents about goffs vs prepz, the biology of vampires, the history of Amortentia (or rather “amnesia portion”), the theory behind time travel, Ebony’s clothes
  • one book is just a summary of Back to the Future because Marty McFly Morti McFli has a brief appearance in a goffik blak tim machine
  • “said the handsome Ebony/Enoby/TaEbory/…” (one per Ebony doing something “sexily” in the original)
  • Draco and Enoby launch into huge rambling speeches after sporking a spiked heroin cabaret
  • the entire life story of a random Hufflepuff whose blood Ebony drinks at one point
  • everyone dies in the end

I needed way more of Eponine, Montparnasse and Gavroche living together and finding a family in each other. Also this is inspired by @unicorngunter‘s fanart.

  • The bathroom schedule is so tight, and it’s all Montparnasse’s fault. His beauty products clog more than half of the available space. Gavroche plays home bowling with the bottles to rile him up
  • Eponine and Montparnasse turn up at every teacher-parent meetings (though Eponine consistantly *drags* Montparnasse for him to go with her.) One teacher thought they were Gavroche’s parents and got REALLY CONCERNED.
  • Montparnasse: “If someone bothers you at school, you tell me.”
    Gavroche: “I can slay my own bitches, thank you very much.”
  • Gavroche and Eponine throw a monthly fashion show in the appartment, meaning they put on Montparnasse’s clothes while he’s not there and parade around the place imitating him
  • Eponine and Montparnasse share lipsticks, some gloves and some leather jackets
  • Montparnasse is by far the tallest and makes small jokes constantly but:
    Gavroche: “You’ve sunk so low, Parnasse. Tie my laces while you’re down there.”
  • Grantaire and Babet show up every fortnight for poker night. Since none of them have money to burn, they use candy for chips.
  • Montparnasse has a special wine for nights Eponine turns into a pining mess. It’s called “Pine-ot Noir”. Eponine said she prefered whisky, but:
    Montparnasse: “This is a classy household, I won’t have that wheat nonsense. Get a grip, Ponine.”
2

He rubbed his hands over his face and looked across the rickety motel table-top at his little brother. “What do I, Sam? What am–what do I do?”

Sam’s earnest hazel eyes only peered back at him. “Dean, this shouldn’t be a a bad thing. Do you have any idea how badly people want what you have? They search for it their whole lives.”

Dean nodded but he didn’t look relieved. “I know. I know… I’ve totally fallen for Y/N and–and that should be a good thing–just hoping I get to see her each day is enough to keep me going–but all I can think about is what if something happens to her? And it’s my fault. It’ll be my fault. …And it’s scaring the hell out of me.”

Sam’s forehead creased with concern as he stared at his brother. Dean was only looking down at his hands now. “You can’t live your life that way, Dean. The ‘what-ifs’ will crush you. Trust me. I’ve been there. You need to hold onto this,” Sam said. “Hold onto it kicking and screaming if you have to. But if you let it just slip away,” he shook his head, “that is guaranteed to haunt you forever.”

Dean tried to swallow the tightness in his throat. He knew his little brother was right… but for now he couldn’t act on what he knew to be true, that he had fallen for you and was still falling… For now, he would hold onto it alone and weigh the options. Maybe he felt he didn’t deserve it–or maybe he was just scared–perhaps it was both, but for now he would make damn sure that you were safe.

TMNT Flashback . . .

“How ya doin’, Mikey?”

“This was all my fault. I should’ve never thought I could be friends with a human.”

“Aw, don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“So it’s not my fault?”

“Of course it’s your fault.”

*sigh*

“If you tell the others, I’ll beat the green off you … ”

“But, you’re an awesome guy.”

“Bradford didn’t think so.”

“Well, he’s a psychotic killing machine. You deserve way better friends than him.”

“You know what? You’re right!”

“Thanks, Raph!”

“Anytime.”

💕 💕 💕 💕💕 💕 💕 💕💕 💕 💕 💕💕 💕 💕 💕


Click here for more TMNT Flashbacks … ;)

10

“He’s completely divided. As I recall, in the first scene of Season 5 when they bury Sigurd, Ivar is weeping and saying it wasn’t his fault, that Sigurd had pushed him, that he loved him, he was his brother. He didn’t know why he did it. He had just made him angry. And I think you’ll find that all the way through the history of Ivar is that he does terrible things and then he feels awful afterwards. He regrets doing these things. He can’t help himself. It makes him an astonishingly interesting character to write. He doesn’t think about the consequences. He does what he does and then he thinks about the consequences.”

––Michael Hirst on Ivar killing Sigurd.

“It’s a major, major scene… he would be the absolute weapon if he could control his anger, and that’s something he will struggle with, even in season five. He hates it, because he lost control .. Despite all the experience he has gained, he has become more of a man, definitely, but still struggles with that little kid inside of him that is just so angry, so hurt.”

––Alex Høgh Andersen.