all my tears all my feelings

REQUESTED - Taken care of

Request:  Can you take a request for me? Reader is sick and Steve or Bucky (or both, omg) take care of me/her? It can be short. I just need… You know - @becaamm  

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader X Steve Rogers

Word Count: 1, 244

Warning: FLUFF!, Sexual tension, Bucky and Steve being two perfect boyfriends.

(A/N): So, I made this to my love @becaamm​ she was sick (doesn’t know what was, though) and I tried to make this, Is probably really shitty, but I tried and I did with all my heart. Get better, my pumpkin pie. 

MASTERLIST


Originally posted by little--batman


Originally posted by ohevansmycaptain


Pain.

It was all you could feel, it was all you were.

But did you knew the source of it? Nop. Not a single fucking clue besides the various thoughts you were dying in agonizing pain and fever and tears and pain again.

“Doll?” You groaned, lifting your head up to stare at a worried Steve, that single movement making all of your neck and back hurt. “Are you okay?” When one tear slipped down your cheek, he knew that it wasn’t.

He ran away, getting back a couple of minutes later with Bruce and Bucky; your room was dark besides the annoying light the leaked through the open door.

“Ok, Y/N? I’ll have to turn on the lights to check on you, is that alright?” Groaning in response, you closed your eyes to avoid the bright light. You were half-asleep, even though you had been asleep for the last 5 hours before waking up from a 6 hours nap.

Maybe that was what made Steve go check on you, since you wouldn’t miss lunch and dinner when it was his day to cook.

You actually wouldn’t miss him cook, since you would make your entertain watching him sway around the kitchen with a cook apron tied on his waist with a simple sweatpants underneath that made his butt look even more beautiful. And you knew that after half an hour you would be stealing kisses and nibbling on his neck, almost making him burn the food.

“What does she have?” Bucky asked, worry leaking from his words as he rounded you and Bruce like a scared chicken. The thought made you chuckle painfully, yep, you were so sick that you were having weird thoughts.

“I don’t know, but seeing her symptoms… Is not a cold, she’s not with running and or stiff nose. She has a fever and is sweating cold, but that is obviously because of the fever to cool down the tempter of her body and-“

“Pain.” You whispered, hoping that he would shut up with the fast and weird words.

“Where?”

“Everywhere.” The moan that escaped your mouth made both super soldiers get closer to you, caressing the parts they could reach for.

“Can you give her anything?” Steve asked quietly as he ran his warm fingers through your face, ungluing the hair from your sweaty forehead.

“Unfortunately, I can’t. I don’t know what she have, yet. It can be a virus, maybe muscle reaction… We’ll have to wait to see if any more symptoms appears, but until then, she’ll have to drink a lot of water and eat healthy and light things, and-” You draft back to your tired sleep, ignoring Bruce’s speech of what you should do.

A warm feeling invaded you as someone peppered kisses all over your face to wake you up, recognizing the stubble and the scent of Bucky, you smiled and stretched as you tried to shoo away the tiredness.

You looked up at Steve carrying a tray of bows that – by the smell – were juicy fruits.

“C’mon, Darling, you need to eat something.” You groaned while Bucky helped you to sit and Steve placed the tray next to you. When you were outstretching your hand to grab a hold on the slice of watermelon, your blonde boyfriend stopped it gently, denying with his hand and getting himself the piece and handing it to your mouth while your other boyfriend cooed you under his arms and kissed your messed hair.

The warm cloud filled you again as you took a bite on the fruit, appreciating it taking the sourness and dry feeling off of your mouth.

“I probably look like shit.” You humbled, snuggling further into Bucky while accepting Steve’s care of feeding you.

“You look beautiful.” James said without hesitation, stroking your arms and sides as Steve completed:

“As always.” Smiling, you kept eating, receiving approval hums every time you finished one fruit. “Do you want us to do anything, love?” Being laid again with as much love as Bucky could give you, you tried to think of something.

“Can you finish reading to us the book you brought?” He smiled, nodding with his head as you snuggle into the bed with Bucky, waiting to Steve to get back with the book. When he did, he laid on your other side, clearing his throat before starting to read with a calm and steady voice.

Feeling loved and satisfied with your two men next to you, the exhaustion got the best of you, the memories of them kissing and taking care of you that evening filling your thoughts and sending you to an ease and peaceful zone.

You kept waking up from hour to hour, but the voices of them talking quietly about random things made you fall asleep again, their hands caressing your pained parts such as your back and arms.

When you woke up the next morning, you had your head resting on Steve’s chest while Bucky was hugging your back, comfort made you purr, smiling and stroking James’ hand, you took it off of you, quietly crawling out of bed, both of them still asleep when you entered the shower, washing yourself and your hair with the thought that maybe if you felt cleaner, you would get better.

You wrapped yourself on a towel, yawning and getting back to your room. Buck was nowhere to be seen and Steve was going through your drawer of clothes.

“Sit, Kitten.” Doing as told, you waited, still feeling a little bit dizzy from whatever you had. “Why didn’t you call one of us?” You shrugged your shoulders, hearing him sigh before grabbing another towel and drying gently your hair.

“As long as I know, in this relationship, the old ones are you and Bucky.” He chuckled, denying with his head before starting to brush and blow dry your hair, the loud buzz making you cringe slightly.

“Almost done.” When the sound of the door being open got your attention, you looked at Bucky, seeing him with breakfast in hands and was smiling lovingly at you.

“Morning, life.” You received a quick peak on your lips before he placed the food on the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“A little bit better, still tired and in pain, though.” He hummed, waiting Steve to finish whatever he was doing so you could all eat.

“You can eat, if you’re hungry.” Bucky and you denied with your heads, and since your boyfriend didn’t have anything to do instead of watch you almost sleep innumerous times, he decided to help you dress.

“Is that ok to you?” Rolling your eyes, you took off the towel, letting if rest on the bed as you smirked when you heard both of them gulp loudly.

“I thought you were going to dress me?” Steve chuckled as Bucky started to dress you trying to keep his eyes on your face.

Your body wasn’t unknown for them, but they were being thoughtful in not teasing, since you were sick.

After breakfast, you were snuggled between both of them watching your favorite show and didn’t had to raise one single finger for the days that you were with whatever you had.

You knew how much you were loved by both of them, and even though you were one of the ‘leaders’, the one that takes care of the team, you always let them take care of you.

Always.

You loved it, they loved it. 


Condemn to a forever tagging: @fangirlandnerd @tommys-girl1980  @myplaceofthingsilove

All Bucky: @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x 

i’m so tired of seeing every single person around me progress and i’m not saying that to be bitter i’m just tired of being less than everybody and not being able to get on social media since seeing something as small as a group of people i know all hanging out together is enough to either cause my mood to completely shift or cause me to burst into tears just bc i know i don’t have that and i’ve turned all my friends against me bc of how shitty i am and now i have nobody n i do the same fucking thing every single day which is nothing, i’m tired of being in this never ending fucking cycle im tired of people talking to me as if its easy for me to do the things they find simple im so fucking tired of feeling like i’m running out of time and i’m so tired of comparing myself to everybody around me but i legit feel like i’m never going to get better and i’m gonna be like this for the rest of my life and that makes me wanna end my life more. even this goddamn rant is pathetic lol.

4

Kalinka, Malinka…

Given the bright and colorful palette of JJBA, I found it only fitting to make a Matryoshka themed set of our favorite SBR heroes (and antihero!)

Bonus combo pic:

ed sheeran’s divide | sentence meme.

eraser.

  • ❛ i was born into a small town. i lost that state of mind. ❜
  • ❛ so blame it on the pain that blessed me with the life. ❜
  • ❛ friends and family filled with envy when they should be filled with pride. ❜
  • ❛ when the world’s against me is when i really come alive. ❜
  • ❛ you know that i’ve got whisky with white lies and smoke in my lungs. ❜
  • ❛ i need to get in the right mind and clear myself up. ❜
  • ❛ i look in the mirror, questioning what i’ve become. ❜
  • ❛ i’m well aware of certain things that can destroy a person like me. ❜
  • ❛ i am happy on my own so here i’ll stay. ❜
  • ❛ save your loving arms for a rainy day. ❜
  • ❛ i’ll find comfort in my pain eraser. ❜
  • ❛ i chased the picture perfect life. i think they painted it wrong. ❜
  • ❛ i beg you, don’t be disappointed with the person i’ve become. ❜
  • ❛ the world may be filled with hate, but keep erasing it now, somehow. ❜

castle on the hill.

  • ❛ i was younger then. ❜
  • ❛ i found my heart and broke it here. ❜
  • ❛ i know i’ve grown. i can’t wait to go home. ❜
  • ❛ i miss the way you make me feel. ❜
  • ❛ we watched the sun set over the castle on the hill. ❜
  • ❛ had my first kiss on a friday day. i don’t reckon i did it right. ❜

dive.

  • ❛ maybe i came on too strong. maybe i waited too long. ❜
  • ❛ maybe i played my cards wrong. oh, just a little bit wrong. ❜
  • ❛ i could live, i could die, hanging on the words you say. ❜
  • ❛ i’ve been known to give my all. ❜
  • ❛ so don’t call me, baby, unless you mean it. ❜
  • ❛ don’t tell me you need me if you don’t believe it. ❜
  • ❛ so let me know the truth before i dive right into you. ❜
  • ❛ do you have a tendency to lead some people on? ‘cuz i heard you do. ❜

shape of you. 

  • ❛ the club isn’t the best place to find a lover, so the bar is where i go. ❜
  • ❛ your love was handmade for somebody like me. ❜
  • ❛ i’m in love with the shape of you. we push and pull like a magnet do. ❜
  • ❛ although my heart is falling too, i’m in love with your body. ❜
  • ❛ last night you were in my room, and now my bed sheets smell like you. ❜
  • ❛ we talk for hours and hours about the sweet and the sour. ❜

Keep reading

GENDER IS CONFUSING

SEXUALITY IS CONFUSING

FEELINGS ARE CONFUSING

EVERYTHING IS CONFUSING

We were as
distant as the moon
and the sun.
We were two continents.
Our tongues almost
touching each other,
he could feel 
my tears from the sky.
And he knew, I was just a storm
of a woman. 
My hands on my back, 
I used to yell and no 
amount of diamonds 
could buy me silence. 
He gave me everything,
but 
intimacy. 
And I would train myself like a dog
not to run after him.
I would hold myself 
by the throat
and I would bite and kiss my hands.

I thought I was the most beautiful 
woman in the world. 
Therefore I spent all my 
time in bed praying for 
all the love in the world.

—  Passionfruit by Royla Asghar 
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar’s chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
—  Hurt by Nine Inch Nails
I feel too much. I always saw this as a weakness. I saw it as a flaw. Feeling every little thing down to the bottom of my core. You said it’s what you love most about me. The way I care, the way I am not afraid to show my tears over the stupidest of things. You tell me you love how I love all things, how I wish I could save everyone and everything. How I put others before myself. You always tell me to hold on to the feelings that flow through me and never let myself give in to all the negatives the world can offer because then I’ll become numb to it all. “Keep feeling the wind caress your cheek. Always cry when Simbas father dies. Drag me to the local pet store to purchase those betas in the containers because you want to rescue them all and then throw me a tantrum when I don’t let you. Call me over to remove the spider you are afraid of but then get angry at me when I kill it instead of releasing it outside like you requested. I love all those things about you. I love how you feel all the lives around you. ” But what will become of all my feelings the day you decide to leave me..will I then become numb to it all.
I like to pretend that I would slam the door in your face if I found you on my doorstep five years from now. I like to think that, given what happened, I’d tell you to get lost and never call me again. If you’d ask why, I’d list all the things you’d ever done to me, all the times you’d broken my heart and made me feel like being myself wasn’t enough. I like to pretend I’d recognise you for the waste of time and tears you were. That you still are.

But there is that small part of me that is afraid. That small part of me that would hold open the door for you and invite you in, the part that would offer you a cup of coffee and remember that you like it with too much sugar. The part of me that still craves your presence on some days and misses the way you brushed my hair from my forehead or
how you laughed too loud or swore too much or let me call you in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep.

There is one thing I’m sure of, though. I hope you never show up on my doorstep again because God, I have no idea what I would do.

—  5 years from now
n.j.
RIP To My Youth

and you could call this the funeral

My first Jughead imagine, this is part one, if you guys enjoy it I’ll keep it going. 

Pairing: Jughead x Reader 

Description: Jug and the reader have been best friends since they were kids, but lately, things have changed, Riverdale has changed, Jug has changed and Y/N thinks maybe it’s time she changed too. 

Warnings: ANGST ANGST SO MUCH ANGST YO (maybe a couple o swears)

Word count: 2088

Part 2https://thatsadbreakfastclub.tumblr.com/post/158505761114/rip-to-my-youth-pt-2



It was getting to the point where I was having internal battles with myself every night. ‘Y/N he’s working on the novel and the newspaper, of course, it’s going to be harder for him to spend time with you’ versus ‘he’s moved on, he’s closer with Betty now, he and Archie are closer too, you’ve lost him, you’re irrelevant’. These were the thoughts that had been consuming my brain for the past couple of weeks. Jug was my best friend, right? Maybe I should text him? Maybe not. I started playing with my pale grey cap, my nervous tick of sorts. Jug could always tell when I was nervous because I would fiddle with the cap “Y/N” he’d say “spill it, you can’t hide anything from me, I can read you like an open book”. Thinking about this little memory was bittersweet. How can someone who’s practically by your side every day suddenly just have no real interest in talking to you? Ever since the murder of Jason Blossom, it really feels like everything in Riverdale has changed.

I glanced at my clock perched on my bedside table, 7:45 pm sigh. Maybe doing some homework will take my mind off all this bullshit, who’s idea was it to put me in advanced algebra anyway? Oh, that’s right my father, who I really wish was here right now and not away on some business trip. Tonight would have to be a lonely one. That’s when I remembered I had Jug’s math textbook, there it was sitting on my desk. I flipped it open and sure enough on the bottom left-hand corner was a small ‘property of Jughead Jones’. Perfect I could use this as an excuse to text him. 

Hey Jug, I forgot I had your math textbook? Want me to come drop it over? The two-hour wait to get a reply just built up more and more anger inside of me Hey Y/N, I’m working on an article with Betty right now, could you drop it off to me in the newsroom in free period tomorrow? This was it, this was fucking it, oh I would take his textbook to him tomorrow and I would also confront him about this whole thing, that’s what I’d do straight up ask him why I was suddenly dead weight, I’ve had his guys back for so many years and now I’m just nothing, I won’t have it. Will do I sent back, cool calm and collected and then I was going to give him a piece of my mind tomorrow.

Getting ready for school was never a difficult task for me, I pretty much did the same thing everyday. My Y/H/C was tied into a ponytail with the front strands falling onto my face framing it. I put on my classic ripped boyfriend jeans and a black t-shirt, accompanied by my army jacket. To finish off my classic look I added my signature grey cap and put on my favourite dark grey lipstick. I wasn’t the girliest of girls, that was for sure, but everyone seemed to identify me by my style and in this I found comfort. After giving myself the once over in the mirror I grabbed Jug’s textbook from my desk, shoving it into my bag and I set off for school.

The day dragged on and on, I had a tonne of classes with Kevin and Ronnie today so it was nice to hang out with them for a change. This was of course until Kevin pulled the “I haven’t seen you and Jughead together in a while, what happened you two are usually joined at the hip?” line “You guys are my otp, I hope there’s no trouble in paradise” Veronica added. “Ronnie we’re not dating, why does everyone always think that and honestly, I don’t know, I guess he’s been too busy with this whole novel and newspaper thing to remember me as well” I replied giving my best interpretation of a fake smile. Veronica and Kevin gave me sympathetic looks. 

As the bell rang, signaling our release I was packing my things together when Veronica grabbed my arm. “Y/N you need to tell Jug how you feel, I don’t know if you’ve even admitted it to yourself yet but it’s pretty obvious you’re in love with him, I can see how much not seeing him is hurting you and I think it’s best if you face this head on” I was so taken aback by this, I mean for years I’ve always had people ask if Jug and I were dating but no one had been this blatant with me. Was she right?, No he’s my best friend, I couldn’t be in love with him no way. I let out an awkward laugh “I don’t love Jughead, we’re just friends” It came out so defensive that Veronica raised both her eyebrows and folded her arms “the fact that you’re being so defensive about this just further proves my point” She said in a sing-song voice. “I gotta go Ronnie” I replied standing up from my seat and walking out the classroom “I only say this cause’ I care” she yelled after me.  

Making my way towards the newsroom, I’d never felt so nervous in my life, like get a grip girlie it was just your friend, surely this whole not speaking to me thing was just, not even a big deal and I was hyping it all up. I was still going to have a go at him though because he was angry when Archie ditched him and now he’s okay with doing it to me? Not on my watch.

I had the math book in my hand as I was walking up to the door of the newsroom, I had my best ‘pissed off face’ going on I was ready.

I had my hand almost on the doorknob when I took a quick glance through the doors glass window. That was when my stomach fell, my jaw dropped and my heart involuntarily shattered. It was just a glimpse that’s all I could allow myself to watch, but inside that dusty old newsroom was one Jughead Jones kissing Elizabeth Cooper. The feelings hit me like a truck, and then everything went numb.

I didn’t know what to do so without giving any sign I was there I dropped the math book and ran, I ran out of the school I ran past pops and all the way home. By this time the tears were free falling, I couldn’t stop it and I didn’t care. Once I was in the safety of being inside my house with the door locked I gave in to my emotions and just slid down to the floor.

Wow, I felt so stupid and so naive, why didn’t I see this coming, it all made perfect sense now. I guess this was me also coming to terms with the fact that as usual Ronnie was right, I was painfully in love with Jug and now I was too late to ever do anything about it.

The more I sat there and thought about it the more I came to realise that this was my fault. I held Jug up to this crazy high standard and just assumed it would always be him and me at the end of the day. I had sacrificed so much to hang out with him, to keep my “image”, I avoided making too many other friends, I avoided parties, extracurricular activities you name it I wasn’t a part of it. Now it was all going to change, it had to change. Maybe this was the wake-up call I needed. I had to work on myself, be better, be stronger. Most of all this needed to happen because this meant I could quite literally not be around Jughead anymore, I think seeing or talking to him would make me cry, something the new me will NOT be doing.

I picked myself up off the floor and headed to the bathroom to wash my face. “Get a grip Y/N, ” I told myself staring into the mirror. It’s like as soon as I come to terms with the feelings I think I may have had for years, I have to immediately try to get rid of them. I think this was a coping mechanism for me, and I think the reason I’ve never let myself admit that I had feelings for him before was because I fear rejection so much so very much, and I had to do what I knew would keep him around and that was to continue to be his friend. Well, little girl it’s time to grow up.

And what’s the best way to look more mature and confident, change your style. From what I’ve witnessed from the media, what you wear can have a profound impact on how people view you. This is what I had to do first, get rid of the “old me” look. This meant bye grey cap, bye dark lipstick ( I mean what was I even trying to do with that? Look like a corpse?) (oh wow corpse jokes really funny, maybe a bit too real in light of recent circumstances.) And also a very big goodbye to my jeans and army jacket, that would have to go too.

Looking through my closet it was apparent I didn’t have much to work with, I would definitely have to go shopping this weekend, I’ll bring Ronnie and Kevin along, they know fashion and are probably more than willing to help me out. AH HUH eureka! The dress I’ve been looking for! About two months ago I bought this really nice burgundy skater dress that I was planning to wear on a summer trip away, but when that got cancelled I never really had an excuse to wear it, until now. It showed a lot of leg, which I was surprisingly pretty comfortable with. The thought of people seeing me in this tomorrow made me feel a mixture of excitement and nausea.

The next thing that would change was the hair; no more would it be hidden by a cap and just randomly pulled back behind my face. I would wear it down and give it a curl. I think that would give me a nice elegant edge. God, I really don’t think anyone’s even going to recognise me tomorrow, kinda funny really. The next thing I had to do was go on to the school website and look for an extracurricular I would be willing to do. Hopefully, this would be a good way to make new friends and keep me busy.

I went and grabbed my laptop from my desk, as I did this I heard my phone vibrate, which meant I had a message. The name that made the screen light up made my heart skip a few beats, it was from Jug Hey, I just found my math book outside the newsroom? Why did you leave it there and not come inside? SIGH, reading that was like a knife to my chest, I immediately deleted the message, this may be immature but I needed time, I can’t bring myself to talk to him and if he can do it to me I can sure as hell do it to him. 

Shaking those thoughts away I was brought back to the task at hand. Logging onto the schools web page I found the list of extracurricular activities going on at Riverdale high. Chess club? Pass. Girl’s soccer? Hard pass.  Mathletes? No way in hell. Come on there has to be something here. After fifteen minutes of looking to no avail I scrolled past the extracurricular activities. Eventually I saw an ad posted by the she-devil herself Cheryl Blossom, apparently, one of the river vixens had broken her ankle and a new vixen was needed immediately, auditions were tomorrow after school. Hmm, could I do this? Maybe I could? The old me would never dream of being a cheerleader but the new me, maybe she could. You know what, fuck it. It was decided, I caught myself slightly smiling as I clicked ‘attend’ on the event. It felt like a breath of fresh air, tomorrow I would walk into school confident and new. I was going to cure my own broken heart. I just hoped a run in with Jughead wouldn’t make it all come crashing down.

It’s starting to scare me.
I used to cry all the time.
Most nights there would
be tears shed on my pillow.
Salt stains billowing out,
blotches painting the case -
a postmodern/abstract canvas.
So many feelings whirling
and storming within me,
I had to let them all out.
I’d wake with puffy eyes
and a runny nose - telltale
giveaways, I think people
chose to believe I had bad
allergies. They’re gone now,
the well is dry and I don’t know
what’s worse - the feeling
of everything crushing down
upon my chest causing leaky
eye pipes to burst in the dark
privacy of night, spilling out
the excess; or this… emptiness.
This hollow of nothing that has
opened itself up in the core of me,
spreading out to my extremities
like some kind of flesh eating
disease. It’s an infection of numb,
even when I know things should
be hurting, I can’t feel a fucking thing.
It’s really starting to scare me
that I can’t remember the last time
I cried, and I’m fucking terrified at
what might happen, when I finally do.
—  What happens when the tears break through and I start to feel again? // © @rarasworldbro
6

get to know me: favorite female character → the ‘avatar: the last airbender’ girls
“I’m a warrior, but I’m a girl too.”

Don’t Say Anything (part 11)

Summary: You finally decide to tell Bucky that you’ve been in love with him since the day you met but what happens when you walk in on him with a girl? And not just any girl; Natasha.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: lil bit of this, lil bit of that

A/N: I KNOW I KNOW IT’S BEEN SOOOOOOOO LONG BUT I’M BACK IN ACTION I HOPE THIS WAS WORTH THE WAIT MY BEAUTIFUL PIECES OF CHEESECAKE! Also I’ll edit this tomorrow :) I hope ya enjoy!

“Holy shit.” Pietro’s eyes are widened. “Holy shit.”

You hear the platinum blonde laugh a bit and you smack his arm. “It’s not funny.”

“I never said it was.” he giggled.

“Stop laughing!”

“I’m sorry my love it’s just-” he starts laughing again and you scowl. You charge at him, ready to hit him upside the head but he’s quick and grabs your hands, trapping them in his. “That’s very mean, honey.”

You struggle, trying to release your hands from his hold but it’s no use. “My situation is not funny, asshole.” you grunt.

Pietro laughs again, turning you around and hugging you tightly, your back to his front. You wriggle, trying to set yourself free but it doesn’t work. “If I had known all it took for you to admit your feelings was for Natasha to press on the matter, I would have been done so long ago.”

“Technically, I admitted my feelings for Bucky to Nat, not Bucky.” you correct but before Pietro could respond, the door opens revealing a smiling Bucky and Natasha.

Your body goes a bit limp in Pietro’s arms, seeing them smiling together. She probably told Bucky about your crush on him and they probably laughed and laughed. Who wouldn’t? It was stupid that for 5 years you were so hung up on Bucky thinking that you’d might actually have a chance with him when in reality, good looking guys like him don’t fall for their not-so-hot best friend.

Get a grip.

Bucky’s eyes lock on you and Pietro and his smile drops completely. You think he’s angry at you or that this is all so awkward. What do you say to someone who likes you when you don’t even like them back?

What you didn’t know was that he was getting a bit jealous, seeing Pietro with his arms around you. He wanted to walk over there and snatch you from him. Show Pietro that you where his girl and only his. Natasha catches on to Bucky’s aggravated demeanor and pulls him down to her level by his shoulder.

“Talk to her.” she whispered.

You look away as soon as she pulled him down towards her. You didn’t want to see the happy couple being all… happy.

Bucky nods and straightens up, clearing his throat in the process. He puts on his best ‘I’m-not-about-to-have-a-serious-panic-attack’ face and strides over to you all while mentally killing Pietro in about 100 different ways.

But when he stood in front of you, his mind completely went blank.

You didn’t even notice when Pietro let you go and went to stand by his sister and Steve. You glance at Bucky quickly before staring at your sock-covered feet, shifting from one foot to the other. Everyone in the room was staring at you like you were some zoo animal.

Bucky opened his mouth but then closed it soon after. Where was he supposed to start? What was he supposed to say? The brunette looks over his shoulder at Nat who gestured her hands at him. He nods and looks at you, tapping your shoulder like the two of you were in kindergarten to ask you for a crayon because he accidentally left his at home.

You look at him, waiting for him to speak first but instead of speaking, he quickly swoops down, capturing your lips in a sudden kiss. You almost melt into it. Almost.

But before you could pull away yourself, Natasha yanks the soldier away from you, frowning at him. “What are you doing?!”

Your lips tingle as you slap your hand against your mouth. “Nat I’m so sorry I-”

“I said talk to her not kiss her, you idiot!” she shouts.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I blanked!” he exclaimed, trying his best to dodge the punches Natasha was giving him.

Once she was done, she points over to you. “Talk to her.”

Bucky nods and turns back to you, taking a step closer to get away from Nat. He breathes in. “I-”

But you cut him off with a slap to the face, shocking Steve, Nat, Wanda, Bucky and Pietro. He holds his cheek and gives you a confused look. You fold your arms across your chest as your eyes swell with tears. “How dare you kiss me, James Barnes.” you snap. “You can’t just do that! You have a girlfriend for fucks sake! Who just so happens to be standing right over there and I am most definitely not one of those girls who hook up with their best friends boyfriend behind her back! I will not hurt my best friend like that! She means more to me than anything and I-” you choke on your tears, turning to Natasha. “I’m so sorry Nat. I never meant for all of this to happen. I tried to hard to keep my feelings out of the way but you just kept pushing the subject and I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I didn’t mean for you to find out that way. Actually, I was hoping you never found out at all and that my feelings would just go away but my dumbass got overwhelmed and told you that it was Bucky who I have been madly in love with for five years.”

You shake your head, wiping away your tears as you make eye contact with a very surprised Bucky. “Yeah, you were the guy I had a crush on. The guy who had a girlfriend and only saw me as a friend. Don’t act so surprised, Barnes. I’m sure Nat told you when you two went to talk.”

Bucky stayed quiet. Actually, everyone stood quiet and that frustrated the hell out of you. “So there, everything’s out in the open. I’ve liked you for five years,” you point to Bucky. “I’m sorry that I like your boyfriend,” you point to Natasha then clap your hands together. “And that’s about it. Over and done with. Don’t worry I’ll get over you soon, just.. please stay away from me.” you pause and sniffle, wiping away those stupid tears that keep coming back. “Okay, conversation over. I’m gonna go and read a book or something - maybe sleep. I dunno yet.”

You move towards the door, wanting to go to Wanda’s room or even Tony’s room - anything to get away from Bucky but before you could leave, he grabs your hand and pulls you back.

“You didn’t even hear what I have to say.” he spoke softly.

You scoff and yank your hand away from him. “I don’t need to hear your rejection speech, Bucky. I know you want to be with Natasha I mean, what was I thinking? I was only your best friend. Nothing more.”

You step around Bucky but again, he pulls you back, pressing his lips to yours in another kiss and this time you’re the one who pulls away. Frowning and damn near ready to explode, you repeatedly hit his chest. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Bucky catches your hands in his, causing you to stop hitting him. You look at him and he smiles. He fucking smiles. “I love you.”

And there goes the little self control you had left. You kick Bucky’s leg and he lets go of your hands to tend to the spot you just kicked. While doing this, you start hitting his shoulder. “You can’t say that! Honestly, what’s wrong with you! You’re dating Natasha, my best friend if you’ve forgotten and I am not going to hurt her! You can take your shitty ‘I love you’ and shove it right up your a-”

“Y/N!” Natasha exclaimed, catching your attention. You notice she’s sporting a smile and you give her a confused look. Why is she smiling? Her boyfriend just kissed her best friend! “Let him talk, will ya?”

You knit your eyebrows together. “But he-”

“We’re not dating.” she says. “We never really were.”

You look at Bucky then at Natasha then back at Bucky, waiting for him to confirm or deny what she just said but he just stands there, mouth opening and closing. Natasha rolls her eyes.

“Long story short, he was using me because of the attention and I was using him because of the attention.” you’re still confused and Nat sees this which causes her to continue. “I missed Bruce and I filled that emptiness with Bucky and he wanted to be with you but he didn’t think you felt that way about him so he filled that emptiness with me. We were just using each other. We were a distraction for each other. I never really liked him and he never really liked me. We were lying to ourselves. Bucky likes you, Y/N.”

“Oh..” you nod, eyes wandering to the floor while everyone waited for another reaction. You kept nodding your head as you processed everything Natasha told you. Bucky and Nat don’t like each other. He likes you. He likes you. Holy shit, he likes you! Is this real life? Should you pinch yourself? You glance around the room and subtly pinch yourself. Ouch. Definitely real life. Your eyes travel up to lock with Bucky’s and you gasp. “Oh!” you immediately wrap your arms around his neck. “I’m so sorry for hitting and kicking and slapping you, Buck! Oh my god, I’m so so so sorry.” you pull away enough to cradle his face in your hands. The brunette laughs and takes your hands in his.

“It’s okay, baby doll.” he says before placing a tender kiss on the back of your hand.

You look over at Natasha before making your way over to her. “Are you still my best friend?”

She cocks her head to the side. “Are you still mine?”

You smile. “Of course.”

Nat’s lips spread into a grin. “Same here.”

You hug the red head, squeezing her tightly while she laughed. When you pulled away, she looked over at Bucky. “See Bucky, I told you. Sisters before misters.”

The super soldier playfully rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, whatever, can I have her back now?”

The red head smirked. “For now.”

You laugh at the two as you walk back over to Bucky.

“I love you too, by the way.” your words make Bucky chuckle as his cheeks tint pink.

“So are we good?” he asked, lacing his fingers with yours.

You nod. “We’re good.”

The two of you hug each other and while doing so, Pietro comes next to you. “What did I tell you, my love?”

Even with your face buried in Bucky’s chest, you can still see the stupid smirk that’s plastered on the speedy sokovian’s face. In response to Pietro’ s words, Bucky takes a step away from him, bringing you with him. You smirk against his clothed chest and look up at him.

“Why’d you move?”

“Huh? Oh I just… wanted to stretch out my legs a bit.” he shrugged.

Your smirk only grows as you fully pull away from Bucky’s hold. “Mhm.”

Bucky takes your hand in his, the two of you walking out of your room. “I did!”

“Mhhmmm.”

“Okay, okay,” he chuckled, draping his arm over your shoulders. “I may or may not get a little jealous when you’re around Pietro.”

“I knew it!” you laugh.

“I mean, he calls you ‘my love’ like hello, excuse me, she’s mine, back up blondie.” he spoke and you laugh even more.

“Yours, huh?”

Bucky looks at you and smiles. “Shut up.” you two unknowingly make it to the elevator and once the doors close, he kisses the top of your head. “Wanna go get a milkshake?”

You nod. “Hell yeah I do.”

After all, getting milkshakes was a Y/N and Bucky thing.


A/N: ONE MORE PART TO GO SUCKAASSSS. Tell me what ya think!

TAGS ARE CLOSED BC I CAN’T KEEP UP WITH THEM

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sorreh to the peeps who didn’t get tagged!

Social Media Showdown

After we all saw Tyler’s Snaps the last few days…This had to be written.

Summary: You’re Tyler’s girlfriend and you find the girls backstage swooning over Tyler’s rather risqué posts. You decide to extract some revenge which leads to a heated (and sexy) showdown with Tyler.

Keep reading

ninadobrev: Dearest TVD family,
It feels like it was just yesterday that I was saying goodbye. And yet two years have passed and here we are again. This is my true final goodbye, as today I shot my last scene of the Vampire Diaries forever. Coming back for the series finale has been a whirlwind of emotion, nostalgia, love, tears of joy and bittersweet endings. It feels like the beautiful closure we all needed, myself included, and I couldn’t have been happier to come home to be with my TVD set family and friends. I feel the fans family will also be happy with the shows conclusion when they tune in to watch the last episode air in a few short weeks. From the bottom of my heart I send you my biggest thanks for the countless years of implicit dedication, passion, support, and undying love from all the fans that have stuck with us on this truly amazing and beautiful journey. As this last chapter ends, we welcome and look forward to going on the next adventure and hope that you continue to follow us as our new journeys begin. I grew up on this show and am eternally grateful for all the opportunities it has given me, and to each and every person who worked on The Vampire Diaries over the last 8 years. We are all pieces of a big puzzle and without every truly amazing cast and crew member, this magical puzzle would not be complete. Thank you for all your hard work, friendship and love. You have touched my heart in ways you will never know.
Sending looch smooches,
Love,
Katherine, Amara, Tatia and of course Elena Gilbert.
#TVDforever #FangsForTheMemories

•A JOURNAL ENTRY: WHAT IS IT REALLY LIKE TO LIVE WITH DEPRESSION?•

i wouldn’t exactly call it living. more like surviving… i look at the environment surrounding me, memories lie tattered in my brain. a life i want to believe was once so full and fruitful has become unthinkably dull. my own eyes were once baby blue but have since faded to an iridescently eerie gray. im hurting. it hurts. im not lying.

i would tell you that you don;t understand- but i;ve begin to notice that everything can only be interpreted in relation to other things or feelings. and this is the only thing ive come to recall feeling. this ethereal delicate coldness within my core, shaking and rattling my bones, consuming my every feeling of functionality. im clearly broken beyond repair- yet i aimlessly crave fixture.

i am light with awful lightness. my blood is mud and my bones are brittle. my thoughts freely cascade within my mind, setting fire to all of my precious sensibilities . any meager ration of purpose and hope is replaced by these fucking reminders that i am truly and entirely 113% alone in this.

at one point, i wanted help. i went to therapy once a week- on bad weeks i went twice. i convinced myself that the glass was half full. i made the most out of everything- and in the process, i made a fool of myself.

i spoke out. i cried for help. i wrote it in books, on forums, i would have carved the words “help me” into my damn skin on my damn forehead if i thought for one minute that anybody was listening.

and i know you’re listening if you’re reading this. but are you really reading this? are you reading me? can you feel the pain in the tips of my fingers, in the ends of my hair, in the blood in my veins, in the staggering cry of my voice at 2 in the morning- an ugly face soaked in the tears resulting from years of utter and complete destruction and then desertion of every little thing i feel?

can you feel my pain?

can you imagine trying to fall asleep when there are actual fucking faceless voices in between your ears jabbering an unimaginably taunting cry? whispering demented nonsense into your ears nonstop after you beg and plead with yourself to quit hearing those damn voices. your mind races like it’s been training all its life and this is the moment it has all led up to: the olympic event of self destruction. and it’s taking home the gold.

i close my eyes and i am so unbelievably tired. staying alive is a fight and today it has beat
me to a pulp. my eyes have bags as big as my regrets and my face is tired from
pretending to light up with joy all day.

jesus christ, it’s my junior year and i’m graduating in less than a year. surely there is one thing to even half way grin about. no, you are wrong. because for every good little thing that happens- every time it seems like it’s getting better, every false sense of hope, for every good thing, there is depression.

my false sense of hope has found its home. depression is a polite host to every single good
feeling in my body. depression feeds me, it cleans me, it loves me, it speaks to me, it knows me.

depression wants to stay forever. it houses in my bones, it feeds on my fears, it gets high on my anxiety, it exchanges hope for hopelessness, it thrives on my insecurities, and depressions favorite thing to do is to keep me up on nights like tonight, where i’m at my worst.

i’m scared, truly. i used to be obsessed with the seasons- more importantly, the transition of one season to anther. perhaps i used to be so fond of change because change was actually a possibility at that point in my life.

winter turning into spring was my favorite. i would lay on the dead, crunchy, brown remnants of the grass, the air around me crisp and cold, stabbing my lungs with every swift,
sharp breath. my nose rosy and cold, sniffling along every chill within my body. bare branches of tall oak trees
stretched into the white winter sky, seemingly reaching for the sunlight the tree craved and needed, as my pale, cold, minuscule hands clutched at the dry, barren earth beneath me- fumbling for more meaning of the world around me. why must seasons change, but my heart always feels the same?

you see, i resonate so very deeply with the winter months. gardens and patches of land that were once beaming with flora and fauna, life and expounding sunlight and warmth, now lay isolated, empty, sterile- similar to the child in me that once was jubilant and lively, but now turned into some thing so cold and ugly. the innocence has beend lost and the happiness within me has since been destroyed by the monster within me, which claims not only me as a victim, but those around me who love and care about me

i only know that i am loved and cared for because i’m continuously and perpetually told this upon a daily basis. it has become very prevalent to me that people feel much better about me when i validate that i know that they are here to talk and that i am loved. yes, i know this. but i cannot feel it. the love that you have for me is, in the least offensive way possible, absolutely irrelevant to my entire being.

you could listen to me rant for days upon weeks, you could read this bible that i’m typing. but i can never seem to make the people around me realize that i am never going to truly accept the love they offer me.

i often wonder if it is true love that inspires people to be there for those with depression- or if those surrounding me simply feel compelled to profess their love and support to me because they see my approval and wellbeing as a direct reflection of their credibility as a friend or family member.

i feel as if i am a burden to those around me, simply harshening the seemingly good mood that literally everyone else but me is capable of partaking in. i want to run with wild horses, frolic among wild flowers, hear the laughter of a child, hold hands with someone i love, and entertain deeply fulfilling and life changing relationships- but you see, the way my life is set up- i am actually emotionally incapable of doing so!

i am most aware of my unfortunate illness and incapability to be happy in the most unexpected and irrational times. take birthday parties, for instance. celebration and good vibes fill the air around me, seeping into my black, pitiful lungs. everyone around me smiles and sings, drowning in their jubilation, as i sit and watch. i want to have fun. please believe me. i want to sing happy birthday. i want to watch you open your gifts. i want to be as happy as you. i want to feel the warmth in my cheeks as i have the time of my life with my friends. but some thing within me compresses each and every slither of joy i am capable of feeling. i am suffocated by the downfall of my emotions and i am blinded by the reminder that depression doesn’t take breaks, not even at birthday parties. depression is strongest whenever you are faced with situations that expose you to the reality that you’re the odd one out- you’re sticking out like a sore thumb. you’re moping and you’re constantly staring out into space. what are you even looking at? what do you have to think about? you have nothing to live for, so anything beyond what’s right in front of you has no relevance in this whole scheme of life. so take it or leave it. you should be enjoying this birthday party. all the other kids are happy. you should be too. you’re lucky you even left the house today. so lucky. had you stayed home, you would have been 100% alone with your thoughts, rather than 97% along with your thoughts, due to the constant interruption of your moping and resentment by peers and parents and teachers asking “is everything okay?”

habitually, you nod. yes. everything is fine. i’m doing well, thank you. but what is the meaning of life? why do i feel like there’s a big fat man sitting on my chest and stomach and heart all the time? why do i always feel like i’m the only one in the room holding back tears trying not to cry? why are the other kids so happy? am i missing out on some thing? why do i feel so sad? why is it that every time i’m surrounded by people who say they love and care for me, i feel as if i’ve never been more alone before in my life? why? do you pity me? it’s just who i am. is that weird?

and oh my god i was always so desperate to be different. perhaps it was just the way my personality was set up. and i was always fairly extroverted. but it was presumably a persona that i put on. hey world, look at me. i’m silly and creative and ill say things that nobody else would say. pay attention to me, look at me.

because i needed them to watch. i hope you never feel so out of control of your body as me, to where you feel as if the only way that you can be saved is if other people figure out that you’re dying on their own. you don’t know how to come straight out and tell them, “hey, i really would rather not be alive at this given moment. i have visions of ending my own life. i use self isolation as a coping mechanism at times in order to feel like less of a burden on those who love me. i haven’t felt genuinely loved in a really long time. i’m so lonely. i could really use a friend right now.”

you can’t just say that. and i became depressed at 9 years old. how would a 9 year old even possibly articulate these complex and life threatening emotions that severely alter the way that every one of their peers perceives them. those middle years are crucial for making friends. it’s at that age that you have to find a group of 3 to 8 people who accept at least half of your given characteristics and occasionally invite you to partake in shit that kids do.

i wouldn’t know. i was a fleeting spirit. appearing and disappearing from cliques like it was clock work. there was more than one willow. there was the catty, witty willow- that found self-approval and approval from others by teasing and belittling others in order to build her own confidence up. then there was the sweet, flower child willow that sold daisy chains on the playground at recess at the price of one hug. there was the willow that stayed near the teachers at times because it was obvious that the other kids wanted nothing to do with her.

and as time progresses, the newer evolution of willow became prevalent. the willow that kept to herself most of the time, spending recess in the class room alone, drawing on the pages of her books, talking to herself, worrying her life away. everyone wondered - what was wrong with willow? or perhaps nobody noticed at all. maybe i was so insignificant even at such a young age- that the only time people considered me was in my dreams.

depression changes a person. some times, the change isn’t even tangible or noticeable to those surrounding the victim. some times, it is a slow discourse of the destruction of the spirit. it can slowly creep into your ear one ungodly night, and forever more whisper its awful lies into the victims ear, as it infects their whole body, their heart, their mind, their spirit, their hands, their eyes. everything. it slowly progresses into the uncontrollable loss of feelings and motivation to even maintain basic proper hygiene. it makes everything feel pointless. things are no longer worth the effort because you’re going to die no matter what, and that can’t come soon enough.

yes, depression can be slow and progressive. but that’s not the worst. the worst depression is the kind that sneaks up on you out of nowhere in the dead of night and immediately stiffens every hair on your body and turns your blood cold, making your mouth dry and your tongue numb. this depression hits you like a fucking train. it hits you in your most vulnerable state- comfort and normalcy. from that point on, you will never know normalcy again.

depression has a way of deceiving you into believing things that are crazy and untrue. but these things become so real to you as the depression progresses into a lifestyle that you come to know nothing else but the lies that depression will fill you with- so nobody can really tell you anything. it will call you names. it will tell you that you’re better off dead. it will be your only comfort- feeling nothing- during the night, whenever anxiety holds you until you pass out from exhaustion. you will never be cold at night as long as anxiety and depression have you snuggled up in between them.

oh how depression loves to kick you around and belittle you. oh how it renders your fantasies pointless. it loves to keep you hostage- to the point where any time you get an idea that doesn’t include moping around in your own sorrow, it immediately renders that idea impossible and reminds you that you are depressions bitch. you eat when depression finishes telling you how fat and disgusting you are. you sleep all day, so depression can take a dip in your nightmares. you wake up, and realize that life with depression is the true nightmare after all.

you pray for the day that you are relieved from this blinding madness and this subliminal torture. you feel as if you are not only a burden to your own self, but a burden to the people who love you and care for you

the only times when depression allows you relief from questioning the ulterior motives of those around you who claim to love you and care for you is when depression instead allows you to feel ashamed of your affliction. when you’re depressed, people notice. they may pretend not to and they may ignore it. but they know. they just don’t know what to say.

what would they say anyways?

hey. i’m sorry your brains are figuratively dripping out of your ears and i’m sorry that you have convinced yourself that i only care about you because i feel guilty, and i’m also sorry that you don’t even have the motivation to take a shower. i’m also sorry that you don’t
remember the last time that someone made you feel special. i’m sorry that you can’t find a reason to smile. i’m sorry that out of all the millionaires, the talented ones, the ones who fall in love, and the ones with nice asses- you were the one to end up hating yourself and everything around you.

ask yourself…. what do you say? what do you say to someone who is depressed?

know that i understand that you don’t know what to say. because yes this sucks. and i don’t expect you to understand what it’s like to wish you were dead. and i am so jealous of you for that. but please treat me the same as everyone else. please love me. make
me laugh. invite me to go shopping with you. get shit faced with me. help me fill the gaping hole in my soul with pointless memories of laughter and small talk. talk about life with me. listen to what i have to say. let me love you.

yes, i have depression. trust me, i will never forget! but please, help me feel normal. i don’t want to feel different than you. i want to be your peer, not your charity case.

i am dying to make friends. i am dying to spend less time in this bed writing shit like this. i am tired of letting this god damn disease walk all over me like i’m a fucking patch of dead grass.

life sucks. but please remind me that winter fades to spring. please remind me that some flowers are seasonal, and not every flower spends its whole life in bloom. remind me that you have to spend time in the dark to understand just how beautiful life in the sunlight is. remind me that there’s no cure for a bad day like a strawberry daiquiri and deep, controversial conversations with complete strangers.

remind me that my car has a sunroof and that it’s okay to open it up and let my hair get a little messy. remind me that music is better when it’s too loud to really interpret what the artist is saying- but you don’t have to understand to feel some thing.

remind me that i don’t have to lose this fight.

i am fucking hurting. but for the love of god, i’m begging you to help me fix me. because i forget that there’s good in the world. i forget that depression isn’t the boss of me. i forget that i have the whole world in my hands. i forget that there’s life after high school and that it’s okay to be alone some times, but it’s never okay to be lonely.

i will never forget what it is like to have my heart ripped out by a disease that i can’t even lay my hands on. perhaps i can touch the blisters under my eyes from
crying so much. perhaps i can run my hands along the holes i’ve punched in the walls from being so angry with myself. and yes i can feel how my bed is sinking in towards the ground because i spend so much time laying here trying to feel some thing besides utter destruction and loneliness. i can never forget what this disease has done to me. there will always be a piece of my heart that this depression has stolen from
me.

but with loving other people, i can aimlessly work to mend that hole. i can’t do it alone. i need a friend. i need you here with me.

i am so tired of being alone.
i will push you away at first. i may come off as helpless and a bitch. but please, that is the depression talking. it’s not willow.

willow loves the color pink
willow loves wild flowers
willow loves the smell of green onions
willow loves the feeling of sand under her feet
willow loves hearing about your childhood and how you had a speech impediment and a cat named angel
willow loves the smell of rain when it hits a hot sidewalk
willow loves to go barefooted
willow loves establishing connections with animals
willow loves willow, some times she just can’t see it

i need a gentle reminder of what it’s like to be a real normal teenage girl

this shit is hard. and being misunderstood makes it harder.

so i’m saying it loud and clear. my name is willow and i have clinical depression and generalized anxiety. my life has been a series of almost laughably awful events, which have resulted in said mental illnesses. i have been misunderstood, bullied, neglected, and hurt. but my story does not end here. i may never completely overcome my depression, but i will overcome my failure to acknowledge my illness. i will work to educate people about those who suffer as i do. i will help those with depression. i will be the friend that i have never had, but always needed, to anyone who wants it. i will be a testament to the depression that has oppressed me for 8 years now.

depression is not who i am. depression does not define me. what defines me is the fact that i am staying alive even though it is proving to be the biggest struggle that i have ever encountered, and i am asking that you help me and people like me. because it’s not a one person job.

my name is willow. and i’m telling you that depression is a rude ass bitch. but i’m a bigger bitch, and unlike my illness, i have the power to make people feel loved and valid. and i will use that power to overcome my depression.

i would like to dedicate this journal entry to everyone reading it. i may go to school with you, you may be just a random tumblr user, you may suffer with depression, you may suffer with some other deeply oppressive situation, you may just be a happy son of a bitch.
it doesn’t matter who you are. let this. journal entry be a testament to your life.

there are people with depression. and there is no way that i can ever explain to you just how it feels via tumblr text post or even via socratic seminar complete with gardens of text books and instructional videos. all i can say is that in this life, you are responsible for being there for the people around you.

you never know what someone is going through. people with depression practically have licenses and 4 year degrees in the field of putting up facades of being okay and sucking it up and repressing those explosive emotions. they don’t expect you to give a shit about them, because as far as they’re concerned, nobody has given a shit,
nobody currently gives a shit, and nobody ever will give a shit about them. they make it hard to help. but it’s so important that you break down those walls. and some times, all you need to do is smile at someone or invite someone to eat after school or to go to a party. you can’t do much for someone with depression. like i said, they’re a whole world away. their concerns and struggles are immaculate, indescribable. however, it doesn’t take much to show someone that you care even a little bit. even if it’s just picking and giving them a random flower.

if you suffer from depression or know anyone with depression and you need someone to look to for advice/help/inspiration, my DM’s are open. oversharing is caring. i know what it’s like to want to take your own life, and i fought the urge to do so even while writing this journal entry.

i am here for you. you are not by yourself. please DM me if you ever need someone to send you pictures of a cute animal to cheer you up, or if you even need me to talk you out of suicide. i know both feelings.

if you’re reading this,
i challenge you to go out of your comfort zone. yes you. i challenge you to do this one easy thing at either work or school, or out in public or in your family

1. pick 3 flowers, they can be store bought or you can have picked them yourself

2. give one flower to someone who you worry might have depression

2. give one flower to a random person who you don’t know

3. give one flower to a person you would like to get to know better, you never know when someone desperately needs a friend


it’s just a flower, but you could save someone’s life. some times, all people need is a gentle reminder that good things still exist and that somebody is thinking about them.

don’t be the person that assumes too high of a role or makes an excuse to not be able to participate in this challenge or share this journal.

you never know when you can save someone’s life.

remember: no matter who you are, i love you. and i am willing to comfort you in times of need. i’ve been where you are. and i know how much ass depression sucks.

my DM’s are open, and so is your future.
don’t end your story this early.

—  Willow Scalisi 4/18/17 (dam i just realized sonic got half priced burgers today, turn up)