all my mixed emotions


I’ve never spent so much time on any royai art before, and I’m really happy with the outcome! Tisiphon might have recognized the scenes, since they’re all from the wonderful fanfic she wrote FOR ME almost two years ago! Ever since then I’ve been wanting to honour it with fanart and I’ve never got around to doing it. Until now! I hope you like them, Tisi, there’s one drawing for every section in your story, and they all express moments of intimacy I really appreciate in fiction ´-` with that fanfic you literally fulfilled my fanwork wishes and I am so, so grateful for that <3


Aqours 1st Live - Aida Rikako’s post-live thoughts

Aqours 1st LoveLive!
Thank you very much for the past two days at ~Step! ZERO to ONE~!! It really, really was a marvelous time. I had fun from the bottom of my heart, and I’m not even exaggerating. It really was a great feeling that made me feel like I was truly alive. I cannot forget everyone’s faces that I saw while I was going around on the trolley. Everyone was shining!!
In truth, when I first heard about the results of Sunshine’s audition, I was at Yokohama Arena with my mother. I can still remember when we were embracing each other even now. It has been 2 years since then. I would never have dreamed that we would be able to stand on this stage now. Love Live! Is something that a lot of people have given their love for, and I once again felt really blessed to be able to take part in it.
I learned the real value of becoming a team and going up from 0. There were 9 of us on stage, but the stage that we created was because of the all the team members, as well as the fans.

This is all I can say!
There was a lot of love enveloping us, and it really, really became a marvelous live!!!!!! However, I have something I must apologize to everyone for. I would like to apologize for the worries that I felt. After discussing with the rest of the team, I decided to perform on the piano. I never wanted to back down, so I requested to be given the chance to do it.
And so, I really give my apologies to the rest of the team who believed in me until the end; I betrayed them. It was exactly because of that that we did not discuss the possibility of failure. Also, having made the other members feel worry in that moment, as well as all the people who had paid money to watch a professional fail, all these emotions mixed together in my head and I panicked. Somehow, I was able to complete it on Day 1, so I calmed down and decided to play with more of a smile like Riko’s on Day 2. To be honest, I cannot remember that moment very well. But the members rushed over to me during the dance, and I also heard the voices of everyone there, so I was able to stop crying and bring back out the “Sakurauchi Riko” within Aida Rikako once again. Without that, my heart would’ve surely broken, and I would’ve regretted it for the rest of my life. Thank you very much for giving me another chance. And then the lyrics of Omoi yo Hitotsu ni Nare also resonated in my chest and supported me. I was once again able to realize how great the power of music was, and that it was able to give me so much courage.

“It was really the greatest performance by everyone! I was moved!” was what I heard from a lot of people, but a failure is a failure. I am no longer qualified to be a professional standing on stage. I really reflected on it.
And after that I had to perform with a smile. Because I was no longer qualified to cry. But I was able to continue until the very end thanks to the warmth of all the fans. Thank you, thank you very much for supporting me.
Also, I will never forget the members who rushed over so that I wouldn’t be alone, and held me and my hands in that unbelievable location, all the time from before the beginning until after the very end, as well as the fun after the live as they greeted me with smiles and laughed it off. Those 8 people who were there definitely felt the same way as everyone. I was glad that it was 9 people once again. Thank so so much for saving me.
And also, I am very grateful to the piano teacher who seriously taught the amateur me who could not even read musical notes for 3 months.
It was really difficult; my fingers did not move as I expected, but I was able to slowly get better and better at playing, and I was able to think, “Playing the piano is fun!” And that was definitely thanks to the people who told me so. I started the piano from this age, so I was worried about whether it was truly okay, but I was told many times that it was important to challenge that thought.

It’s getting quite long, but I wanted to tell everyone as soon as possible.

Now, the second season of the TV anime, as well as 2nd live tour and many others were announced! Aqours is advancing from here onto the next Step once again. In order to make all of you know more and more about Aqours, I will put out my heart and try even harder than my best that I have done until now as a member of Aqours!!!
So please cheer me on as a member of Aqours and as Sakurauchi Riko from now on as well.

I will forever treasure everyone who supported me.
Let’s go and see more marvelous sights together! The voice of Sakurauchi Riko 🌸 Aida Rikako

Holy shit.



1. Lemonade - Beyonce

I think this album should be atop of everyone’s 2016 list. Lemonade has quickly become not only my favorite Beyoncé album, but one of my favorite albums of all time. Beyoncé successfully moves across genres, most notably reclaiming rock & roll and country to their black origins.

2. My Woman - Angel Olsen

To be honest, before the release of My Woman, I had no idea who Angel was. But, this album has most definitely put her on my radar in the future. Angel provides a sort of psychedelic rock sound reminiscent of the ‘60s, and covers the topic of love with such emotion that it is tear-jerking.

3. Puberty 2 - Mitski

Mitski is another artist that I have just discovered this year, and I’m so glad I did. Appropriately titled Puberty 2 for its hormonal nature, the album covers topics such as love, mental health, and societal norms. Another definite tear-jerker.

4. A Seat at the Table - Solange

With this album, Solange further proves her creativity as an Alt/R&B artist. She asserts black pride and describes her struggles with depression on “Cranes in the Sky”. A Seat at the Table solidifies Solange’s place as an individual in the music industry, not to be compared with her older sister.

5. Dangerous Woman - Ariana Grande

Dangerous Woman is Ariana’s most daring release to date and definitely my personal favorite. Permanently shedding her image as “the girl from Victorious”, Ariana delivers a cohesive, sexy, and feel-good dance/pop album with emotional moments such as “Thinking Bout You”.

6. Emotion: Side-B - Carly Rae Jepsen

Who else could release a nearly flawless pop album full of B-sides? The queen of modern ‘80s pop sound really outdoes herself with this one and proves that her critically acclaimed 2015 release “Emotion” was no fluke.

7. Lady Wood - Tove Lo

With Lady Wood, Tove Lo once again provides honest lyricism about sex and love accompanied by atmospheric production. Tove keeps it simple (no pun intended) while still remaining effortlessly edgy. It definitely deserves more recognition than it has gotten.

8. Glory - Britney Spears

The princess of pop has provided her loyal fans with her best release since “Circus”. Britney stays true to herself while delivering an album that keeps up with the times in its production and lyrics.

9. Nightride - Tinashe

While this is just a mixtape for the fans to listen to while they wait for the release of her sophomore album, it is still one of my favorite releases of the year. Tinashe pairs a soft hip/hop sound with thoughtful lyrics that makes for great music to relax to. 

10. Anti - Rihanna

The final spot was the hardest to choose, but Rihanna definitely deserves it. Delivering her best album to date, Rihanna transcends genres from Alt/R&B (“Same Ol’ Mistakes” & “Yeah I Said It”) to Pop (“Kiss it Better” & “Work”)

Honorable Mentions:

Blonde - Frank Ocean, The Altar - Banks, The Colour In Anything - James Blake, Joanne - Lady Gaga, Vroom Vroom (EP) - Charli XCX, For All We Know - NAO, Glory Days - Little Mix, Starboy - The Weeknd, and Tkay - Tkay Maidza

seeing the one love concert in manchester makes my heart swell and actually cry happy tears – even in a time like this. because it is so, so very beautiful to see how music really unites people. all because of the same goal – spreading love. together. to care, and keep faith, and honour. and never, ever, ever be beaten down by hate. i am SO proud of ariana grande. for deciding to use her platform to spread an important message; for not sitting in silence mourning over what happened; for returning so shortly after the awful attack that without a doubt traumatized her; to stand strong and go on and actually do something. even when it was in no way her fault what happened. she took responsibility, visited her fans in the hospital, met up with families who lost a dear one and actually listened to them. she offered them a hand to help, a shoulder to cry on. a girl her age doing all that, putting together a benefit concert that beautiful, taking such responsibility – i bow down for her. she is such a role model. she is such a strong woman. she is a true idol. she is so genuine, so kind, so smart, so beautiful, so strong… absolutely incredible. i have no words for the amount of respect i have for her. everyone who performed at the concert, everyone who spoke up and stood by the city of manchester and supported the victims and family and friends of the victims – i have so much love and respect for. even though i don’t always agree with what they do. they’re good people. i am so, so proud to witness all the genuine goodness that thank the lord still exists… in music, we are one. in music, we connect. and i am so blessed to have witnessed all that tonight. even if it was just on a tv screen. hope is not lost – and as long as those people who actually have the power to make a change do it, hope will never be lost.

Alexander Nylander - Buffalo Part Six

Originally posted by nhlinfluenced

Word Count: 1716

Warnings: Drinking/Cursing

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven

“Tell me where he is.” You demanded to Jack. You weren’t in the mood for his childish games especially since he made it clear that something wasn’t right.

“He’s inside, at the bar.” Jack answered.

“I already looked there and didn’t see him.” You responded now crossing your arms.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hey please answer this How does your dairy work? You draw first then fill the blanks? And is it personal most of the time and does the character you draw go with the topic? I want one now..

actually yes there you go! 

I draw the character first. Sometimes it is me, sometimes it’s a character I can relate to at the moment. It’s why Raven and Terra show up a lot when it comes to the diary, I either am reminded of a certain Malchior or the loss of friends and someone who really cared for me, but I have to leave alone.

The writing is done last, It gives you time to think about what you are feeling and then you just wrap it around the sketch.  :> 

(this gif seemed apropos after last night’s ep.)

So, lots of mixed emotions all over my dash right now. Which is understandable. I’ve never been one to post deep analysis of the show and write metas about characters/episodes/arcs - I will say that I think OUAT casts great actors and comes up with interesting new takes on old stories, but that they’ve always had issues with the execution of their ideas (which becomes really obvious starting with S4). Their resolution to the Emma/Killian storyline with Jen leaving and Colin staying was probably the best outcome from a shipping perspective, although it wasn’t executed as well as it could have been. But I’m satisfied that they’re together, married, happy, and living their lives off-screen in Storybrooke.

I’m not here to tell people how to feel. If you find S7 interesting enough to keep watching and are into Henry/Jacinda, Rumple being Rumple, Regina possibly finding her happy ending, and/or Colin on screen every week playing a different version of Killian, then I’m not going to harsh your buzz. If you need to move on completely from the show, I understand that too. I know some people have already left the fandom/Tumblr over the last little while - I’ll miss them, and I hope they pop up again down the line. If you’re planning on going, then know that I’m glad we all got to share this experience together, even if the end was bittersweet. 

As for me, right now I’m not planning on going anywhere. My blog will remain as it is, with CS related posts plus bits from the other shows I watch. S7 stuff in the form of Colin/Rogers gifs, pics, etc will be posted, although probably not anything relating to him with another love interest if they go that route. I don’t really see myself writing fic with this version of Hook…unless it’s something with an alt-Emma. And speaking of fic, I will be continuing on with both BtH and BH&H, that’s not going to change. 

Before the show I knew who Jen, Ginny, Robert and Emilie were from their previous work, and now there’s people like Colin, Josh, Bex, etc to watch and follow and support. My life is better with Colin as my Captain Hook and Josh as my Prince Charming, that’s for damn sure!

And for all of you who follow me, thank you. My life is better with you guys in it too. Remember my askbox is always open.

Much love,

Just a heads up tomorrow (Monday) and Tuesday I won’t be on tumblr, as I do not want to see any more spoilers about the series finale of Teen Wolf. Monday I’m out all day anyway, but Tuesday I won’t be watching TW until later that night so the review and countless reblogs of giftsets and me fangirling will either happen that night or the next morning. 👍

I think I’m actually going to start sobbing, u guys always remind me of the best version of myself and who I really am and all that cliche stuff like that, and it hurts me to the HEART in the best possible way like it’s so uplifting wtf

Headcanon: Jake was a lil sh*t during bootcamp and that was, for whatever reason, what made him stand out.

“McKenzie, were you listening?” The RDC halted in front of a boy with sandy blonde hair cropped just short enough to pass through regulations, a head below all the other new recruits. McKenzie, Mike supposed his name was, snapped his gaze up from whatever he’d been staring at and, slowly, a smirk spread out onto his face.

“No,” he said bluntly, a hint of a Southern twinge in his tone.

The RDC let out a heavy breath, rolling his eyes, and Mike couldn’t help but smile a little bit. “Drop and give me twenty,” the RDC commanded dismissively.

The rest of the boys stared on, baffled, as the tiny recruit raised both his palms and flashed his hands, fingers splayed, twice. Twenty. The other recruits tried, and failed, not to laugh. Mike himself had to break attention to cover his mouth and avoid drawing focus on himself. The RDC reached out, wrapping a hand in the front of McKenzie’s shirt and dragging him close, towering over him. Even then the boy didn’t seem fazed, more amused than anything.

“I’ve broken dozens of jackasses just like you,” the RDC growled in McKenzie’s face. “You ain’t gonna be no different.”

…But he was.

Oof.” Mike sighed, shaking his head to himself, as McKenzie fell backwards, clutching his cheek. Many of the other recruits watched from their beds as he and another guy, Fogerty, fought it out. This wasn’t new, it seemed like Mike’s new friend got into at least one fight every twenty-four hours, and Mike couldn’t help but wonder why he did it when he knew he was going to lose.

“C’mere, Shrimp,” said Fogerty, moving to finish off what McKenzie had started.

CRACK! Mike shook out his fist with a dull expression, and Fogerty stumbled, only staying standing by clinging to a bed post. “That’s enough, okay?” Mike stated forcefully.

The room got quieter as Fogerty glared at Mike, but after a few beats he nodded, regaining his balance. “Yeah… Yeah, alright Lawrence. That’s enough.”

The tense atmosphere died down as the boys all dispersed to do their own things, Mike grabbing McKenzie by the arm and helping him get to their shared bunk. McKenzie laughed, sitting on the lower bed and beaming up at his friend. “Thanks for the save, Lawre.”

Mike rolled his eyes, but smiled a bit, sitting beside him. “Is that why you fight over stupid shit? You know I’ll come save your useless ass?”

McKenzie thought for a second, but then nodded his head, perking up. “Yeah, basically.”

Mike snorted, flopping back on the bed and tucking his arms underneath his head. “What happens if I stop swooping in to rescue you?”

Absently, McKenzie reached for a cloth from his trunk, using it to dab away the blood coming from his nostril. “You ain’t gonna stop.”

Mike thought about that, and after a few seconds, he snickered, sitting up again and clasping a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “But did you really have to throw a punch at him for that? He was just askin’ what your first name was.”

McKenzie glanced over at him sideways, running a hand over his hair. “Don’t trust him. Don’t trust people in general.”

Mike raised an eyebrow, amusement flashing in his eyes. “Not even me?”

McKenzie regarded him for a long couple of moments before speaking. “Jake.”

Mike blinked. “What?”

McKenzie smirked, swatting the other boy lightly on the arm. “Jake. My name’s Jake, Superman.”

With all sorts of strange emotions mixing in his stomach, Mike let his hand fall away from the smaller guy’s shoulder and held it out for a handshake instead. “Mike.”

Jake snorted, but took his hand and shook it comedically. “You look like a Mike.”

“And you look like a damn mess,” Mike retorted, and they both laughed. It was in that moment that Mike felt it, somewhere in his chest: This man is going to be my best friend, isn’t he?

Sanctuary [Anakin Skywalker x Reader]

Summary: Anakin and the reader are both Jedi who have secretly disregarded the Code and formed a relationship. However, dangerous missions are always a part of the life of a Jedi, and Anakin is assigned to fight the droid army on Cristophsis. Before he leaves, he and the reader enjoy each other’s presence for what could be the last time.

Word Count: 1850+

Warnings: The reader fears for Anakin’s life

Giving you the rank of Jedi Master had been a huge mistake on the Council’s part. Still, you could not argue. To explain why they shouldn’t have done it would be to bring about your dismissal from the Order. As much as you wanted to be worthy of the title, the unfortunate truth was that you never would be.

You had become attached to Anakin Skywalker. Attached didn’t seem to be the word… With your Jedi training, saying the right things was difficult. The phrase “I love you” came easily to Anakin, but you couldn’t seem to say it as often as you thought it. You relied on actions, not words, to tell him. You were so grateful that Anakin could understand completely. It was as though he was a part of you, for truthfully, he was a part of you.

But, the fact that you were a Jedi was a part of you, as well, which is why your feelings for Anakin remained a secret. It was lucky that you were good at keeping secrets, because Anakin wasn’t. You were surprised that he hadn’t gone to the Council to pass out wedding invitations.

There were already rumors surrounding Anakin, but none of your fellow Jedi had traced them back to you. You were trusted, and it made you feel terrible. The guilt only grew stronger when Master Yoda asked you to teach the younglings for him. “Go to the Council meeting, I must,” he had informed you. “My faith in you is not misplaced.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

john lennon was an abuser!

I’m gonna post LINKS to fucking prove you wrong on this one.

  • “… I love you forever and ever isn’t it great? I love you like GUITARS,” he writes. In another letter to Cyn, he says he wishes he were on his way to her flat “with the Sunday papers and choccies and a throbber.”- John Lennon’s Love Letters to Cynthia Powell (soon to be Lennon), yes, the same woman he ABUSED AND BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF? Oh no wait, I’ve got more-Read this to see his personality through his letters, he was more or less very sweet and romanticFew more letters to Cynthia, one with Julian, yes the same son HE ABUSED BUT WHO HE ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT FROM A YOUNG AGE.  I discovered that on his own, away from the cronies to whom he was always trying to prove himself, there was another John lennon. “He was full of pain, full of anger. His father had gone off to sea years ago and his mother, unable to cope, had left young John with her older childless siter, Mimi. Though Mimi had done her best and was devoted to John, he still felt deserted. Then, when he was 17, just as he was getting to know his mother again, she was run over and killed by an off-duty policeman right outside Auntie Mim’s house. In a way he’d lost his mother twice.”-Cynthia Lennon on John, you can read more about their “abusive” relationship HERE. AND THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE- “Although he was still verbally cutting and unkind, he was never again physically violent to me.”- Cynthia Lennon on John slapping her, AS WRITTEN IN HER BOOK. Now hear me out, slapping a girl is a dick move but Cynthia forgave him, so why shouldn’t we? He never hurt her again and was romantic with her after that nonetheless, so its like beating a dead horse.
  • He kissed me, then looked at his son, who was in my arms. There were tears in his eyes: “Cyn, he’s bloody marvellous! He’s fantastic.” He sat on the bed and I put the baby into his arms. He held each tiny hand, marvelling at the miniature fingers, and a big smile spread over his face. “Who’s going to be a famous little rocker like his dad, then?” he said.”- Cynthia Lennon from her book, this quote can also be read HERE. "It’s not the best relationship between father and son, but it is there,“ Lennon said in ‘80. "Julian and I will have a relationship in the future. Over the years he’s been able to see through the Beatle image and to see through the image that his mother will have given him, subconsciously or consciously…I’m just sort of a figure in the sky, but he’s obliged to communicate with me, even when he probably doesn’t want to.” John did deeply care about his son even in his last years, he tried to mend things, he tried to tie lose ends but sadly he never got the chance to. “He was young and didn’t know what the hell he was doing,” Julian told Record Collector magazine in 2011. “He was like a real dad, you know. We used to sit down with guitars and mess around.”- Julian Lennon. You can read the quote HERE. Julian too, has forgiven his dad and has admitted that his dad did care about him but the truth is that John wasn’t ready to be a father AND has had no fatherly figure in his life. You have to realise John never came from a normal household buddy, try to see it from his point of view rather than an angry person reading a very fake article
  • The problem is the MEDIA, they don’t read their facts and judge the man so quickly and they write bullshit articles like the one above. I’ve not seen a single WORD from Yoko claiming that John had hit her, you need to read well on this man to actually understand him and if you don’t read and tell me he’s an abuser, then you’re wrong. I’m not saying he hasn’t made mistakes, he’s made horrible ones but what makes a person a GOOD HUMAN BEING is his remorse to actually MEND THOSE MISTAKES which John did! You have all the right to hate him, IF he hadn’t tried to mend his ways, which he clearly did. 
  • A few more links proving that John was a good man- “My husband John Lennon was a very special man. A man of humble origin, he brought light and hope to the whole world with his words and music.”- Yoko Ono. Read the quote hereWatch this video on Paul talking about John LennonJohn wrote “Beautiful Boy” for Sean and here is Paul’s reaction to this beautiful, touching song. 
  • “Woman I can hardly express, my mixed emotions and thoughtlessness. After all I’m forever in your debt and woman I will try to express my inner feelings and thankfulness for showing me the meaning of success. Woman please let me explain I never meant to cause you sorrow or pain, I love you.”- John’s Song Called “Woman” Yes a song by a man who HATED woman and beat them up, he wrote a song about how he LOVES women and are in-debt to them.
  • I hope the media stops showing John is the wrong light, he really wasn’t a bad man. Why do you think people protect him like I do so? Not because I am blinded its because WE KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT THIS MAN AND OUR HEARTS HURT TO SEE ANYTHING FALSE AOUT HIM.

I’ve collected all the proof I could for you.

Quotes for the signs from my Journal
  • <p> <b>Aries:</b> "We planted a herb garden together and he rested his dirt covered hands on my thighs and I felt like sunshine was busting from my face and my chest."<p/><b>Taurus:</b> "She plays with her emotions, playing pouty on an afternoon walk, it won't be long until she's in stiletto pumps."<p/><b>Gemini:</b> "We listen to the memories and whispers of our past selves, but we aren't really them anymore, we grow into other people."<p/><b>Cancer:</b> "You made my cheeks rosy and sore, like sweaty strawberries on a hot summer afternoon, you have my blush in galore."<p/><b>Leo:</b> "I sip liquid bravery only to remember I left rose water on the stove, I wonder if I called you would you come, or no?"<p/><b>Virgo:</b> "What if we were made with no shoulders to cry on? Would we cry less or live longer?"<p/><b>Libra:</b> "If I could I would burrow into your side, only coming out when you pet me, but inside you I would hide."<p/><b>Scorpio:</b> "We slept hard and like heathens, I love that I can hog the bed and he still let's me squeeze him."<p/><b>Sagittarius:</b> "She broke her back trying to be someone she wasn't, I wonder if that's why she still sometimes loves him."<p/><b>Capricorn:</b> "Pretty girls with evil thoughts, that's the club he said I would be in, if I were into that sort of stuff."<p/><b>Aquarius:</b> "Not a soul could sleep the rest of the night, not with all the cherry filling stickying up the street."<p/><b>Pisces:</b> "I drown myself in all these mixed emotions floating in my drink, I wonder if he dropped my heart in, if it would float or sink."<p/></p>