all in on credit card

Star be looking like shes about to file the divorce papers but she just went out for 8 hours and got a cute new haircut and ran up all of her husbands credit cards and ripped up all of the receipts to ruin his credit score

what i say: i’m fine

what i mean: i want to give kenta a billion smooches. i want to tuck him in bed and read him a bed time story. i want to dress him up for school and feed him food. i want to tie his shoes and zip his coat. i want to pack him a snack and lunch and smooch his cheeks. i want to hug and kiss him and give him all my money. i want to give him my credit card and social security number. i want to give my house and car to him. i want to hold a satanic ritual and sacrifice myself to him.

ALL CREDIT CARDS ARE VALID
  • if you’re a credit card past its expiry date YOU ARE VALID
  • if you’re a credit card which has gone over its allowance YOU ARE VALID
  • if you’re a credit card that works perfectly YOU ARE VALID

fuck you target for rejecting my card and saying it isn’t valid, ALL CREDIT CARDS ARE VALID. last time i shop at your store

the difference bwtn gay and hetero breakup stories is enormous. with gays its mostly like “we grew apart over time and mutually broke up at a wine bar and went our separate ways” and then hets are like “well it all started 3 years when i found out my bf was stealing my credit card info to start his own coffee roastery”

On Love: Agape | Welcome to the Madness

Yurio: Slayed

My edges: snatched

[Do NOT edit, repost, crop, etc. or remove the artist’s caption…]

Slytherin: My boyfriend just broke up with me…

Hufflepuff: Aww, I’m sorry! Do you want a hug?

Slytherin: What? No! I am waiting for Ravenclaw to say something…

Hufflepuff: What can Rav…

Ravenclaw: I have access to all their credit cards, bank accounts, social security, and their entire background information from the pentagon, as well as their IRS tax statements…

Hufflepuff: … Slytherin, don’t do this … this sounds like a very bad idea! ….

Slytherin: *rolls eyes*

Slytherin: … anything else?

Ravenclaw: His Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, and CrunchyRoll password is SnakesRule4ever…

Slytherin: Hufflepuff, do we have anymore ice cream?

4

One of my favorite things about both Spies are Forever and Poe Party is that, while they have their share of romance, they both emphasize other types of relationships, especially friendships, more than romantic relationships. I think we need more stories like that.

Speaking of which, the Tin Can Brothers are VERY CLOSE to being able to make Wayward Guide for the Untrained Eye, which they have already stated is not a romantic story. It’s also set to feature many cast members from both Spies and Poe Party (in addition to a bunch of other awesome people). However, they still need to raise almost $8,000 by Sunday afternoon or it won’t get made. Literally every dollar helps, and this really needs to be a thing, so please pledge if you can, share if you can’t!

The bakusquad goes shopping.

The dorm is running low on food. The class elects these lazy ass kids to go to the store. Biggest mistake:

• Sero And kaminari take turns pushing the cart and mina is just laying in it with her legs hanging over the edge. All the groceries are either on top of or beside her.

• They started out following the list Momo gave them but it went to hell in the cereal isle.

• They get one box of every cereal. They have to get another cart.

• Its super late so they’re the only ones there.

• They decide to have a cart race. Kaminari pushing mina and bakugou pushing kirirshima. Sero is the referee. Whoever makes it to the cashier first wins.

• Its immediate chaos.

• Mina spilled milk down an entire isle.

• Bakugou and kirishima just used it to slide past them.

• The cashier doesn’t even blink like he just gets a mop.

• They head over to the seafood section and kaminari is staring at the eels with this sad ass expression. Sero asks what’s wrong and this extra boi just goes “Those were my brothers man.”

• They start a game of who can find the most useless thing that they can buy with the left over cash.

• Mina wins with All Might sideburn stickers. Bakugou was a close second with a pair eraserhead brand slippers that claim to leave behind no footprints.

• They get them for Aizawa anyway.

• They have reached the slushy machine

• Another contest to see who can drink the biggest slushy the fastest without dying.

• No one wins they all fall to the floor crying

• Sero tapes a bunch a garden gnomes around corners so they scare anyone who turns that corner.

• Kaminari has been heard screaming six times already and it never gets old.

• Kaminari has a shit load of vlogging videos of Sero trying to parkour. In one of them he grabs one of the overhead pipes with his tape but it gives way and he falls and the rest of the video is kaminari laughing.

• Most of the other videos are of bakugou and kirishima being cute when they thought no one was watching. Little kisses, them holding hands. Bakugou staring at his laughing bf.

• In one of the kiss videos they’re kissing at the end of an isle and the other three are at the other end and in unison they all yell “GAAYYYYY”

• You’ve never seen a group of teens runaway so fucking fast in their lives.

• When they finally go to cash they’re??? Way over budget??? That’s what you get for buying all that cereal.

• But Mina had stolen Present Mic’s credit card earlier because of a dare so they just use that.

• In the parking lot kirishima and kaminari are telling lame jokes and Sero and Mina are laughing and bakugou is telling them to shut the hell up and they’re. OK. And happy.

• They end up getting back to the dorms at 3 in the fucking morning and everyone fell asleep in the common room surround by boxes of half eaten pizza.

Bonus:

• They all wake up wearing the All Might sideburn stickers that may or may not be superglued to their faces.

• Present Mic tries using his credit card after Mina slips it back into his wallet. But it gets denied? He doesn’t understand. When did we buy all this cereal aizawa?

• Aizawa receives his slippers and he actually wears them as pajama slippers.

Americans confuse credit card debt with wealth. All the wage stagnation, and steady corporate redistribution of surplus labor away from workers, has turned us all into walking debt obligations.

You don’t own. You owe.

Don't take my lawn decorations.

I had purchased my first home in a slightly lower class area of town, which is pretty close to an even lower class area of town. (Think slightly ghetto a mile from absolute trailer trash.) I know most of my immediate neighbors, since most of them are pretty loud and I’d rather be friendly with them than have them be my enemy.

Some local kid likes to go around collecting trash in his free time. A real nice kid, does it for really no reason. Whenever I see him, I usually get him a drink, lemonade or soda so he can stay hydrated. (California is hot.) Sometimes I give him a few dollars, I offer the kid $30 a month to mow my lawn 2x a month. So, kid has a gig for small, but consistent income.

The kid takes a lot of pride in his work. He mows the lawn, pulls weeds, moves rocks out of the driveway, and just makes my place look extra nice, even though I don’t even ask him to do any extra work. This guy is great.

This goes on for a few years, kid is now a senior in highschool. Family is not doing so great, dad just lost his main source of income, and mom had accumulated debt which put a lot of stress on their failing marriage. Mom was abusive verbally and sometimes physically to both the kid, and the Father. But the kid keeps on walking, doing work, volunteering and being a real happy, up beat dude.

Despite his troubles at home, the kid starts buying lawn decorations. Mostly small, little gnomes, some decorative rocks, and bird bath, and he decorates my yard. It looks amazing, but I knew he must have spent a lot of his own money on that. I try to reimburse him, and he denies. He won’t take it.
I know he needs a car, and I was about to get a newer one for myself, so I gave my mine for free. It really was the least I could do for this guy for everything he has done for me.

A few weeks later, a drunk driver T bones the kid, and he dies on the scene. I was devastated, his parents were devastated, and they soon after got a divorce.

They were fighting over who gets what, and the father discovers that the mother had a drug addiction she had been hiding. Straight out of left field. She wants everything they had, and she lawyers up to fight the battle. Due to the debt the mother had accumulated on the father’s bank account, he had really no money. And nobody knew where she got her money from.
As sad as it is, it’s not my affair. Until she sent me a letter claiming that the yard decorations are rightfully hers, and that she will take them “or else”. Now, this is a problem.

I get it, you lost your only child. You’re in a lot of pain as a parent. But you were never a good parent to him. I was closer to him than you, by a long shot.
So, I had a meeting with the father, and told him not to worry about the court costs. I decided I was going to fund him in court.

Long story short about their divorce battle, but he wins, and gets to keep everything, and even gets a restraining order on her. He then files for credit card fraud, and puts all the debt on her.

I heard from the father that she was recently arrested for driving while drunk, and was search and has a decent stash of meth on her. She is currently awaiting trial for that, while the father is living a life now relatively stress free.
And I got to keep my lawn decorations.
RIP Johnathan. You are missed.

Also can we talk about how last night really showcased how freakin SMART both Alex and Maggie are.

First of all, I mean we always knew Alex was a genius, but the whole credit card thing to get her chip. And then making a floating device out of her pants! Even in the midst of death her brain was still sharp af.

And I LOVE that we actually got to see Maggie working, and we got to see her interrogation style. She’s so freakin good at her job, she’s so emotionally intelligent. The way she pieced things together when everyone else was flipping a shit. The way she stayed calm, and collected, up until seeing Alex’s face, was incredible.

Like I’ve never seen a more powerful couple on TV. Together they really are the unstoppable.

Being Tony Stark’s Daughter and Dating Peter Parker Would Include (Part 2):

Summary: Just dating Peter… and being Tony’s daughter.

Authors Note: This was highly requested in the comments and I really enjoyed making the last one, so here ya  go! <3

Warning(s): swearing and deadpool (again)


Being Tony Stark’s Daughter and Dating Peter Parker Would Include (Part 2):

•y'all “tis about to get wilD


•you and peter have a stable relationship™

-y'all don’t really fight

-if you do it’s something stupid

-“I CANT BELIEVE YOU ATE THE LAST BROWNIE, THE AUDACITY, I AM DISGUSTED, YOUR BEHAVIOUR IS ATROCIOUS”

-“ I’m lactose intolerant Peter”

-“YOU ARE A TERRIBLE- wait you are?!?!”

-“HAHAHA SIKE” *cue you running away with the last brownie*


•Tony usually mediates your fights.

-he doesn’t want his spiderlings to be sad.

-not good for his representation in the ‘approving dad’ world

-“(Y/N) I suggest you give Peter back his brownie”

-“I ate it”

-*tony giving you the scolding parent look*

-“what do you want me to do? Shit it out?”

-*cap bursts through the door* “LANGUAGE (Y/N)


•peter still uses pickup lines on you

-“my Spidey sense isn’t the only thing that’s tingling”

-“peter do you know what that means?

-“yes it means I feel all tingly and happy when I’m around you”

-“BOiIi”

-he clearly gets these from Wade


•peter going on dad dates with Tony

-“I can’t believe you remembered our anniversary”

-“I could never forget it Mr Stark”

-“um Peter…you’re dating me?”

-“This is an A B conversation (Y/N) leave”

-your dad and Peter have probably been on more dates with each other than Peter has with you.


•you and peter are always together

-the avengers freak out when you aren’t.

-“WHERE IS THE LOCATION OF BROTHER PETER?? HAS HE JOINED THE DECEASED??? I SHALL AVENGE YEE MAN OF SPIDER”

-“Thor chill… he went to the bathroom”


•Peter always has his hands on you

-whether it’s holding hands, or he’s touching your shoulder, wrapping his arms around your waist.

-he likes to know that you’re always there.


•hUgS frOm BehInD

-y'all this is the only time Peter feels like he’s the big spoon

-he’ll rest his chin on your head and your back will be pressed to his chest

-aw™


•peter using his height to his advantage

-he’ll hide your things in high places

-so you call for help

-usually ends in you standing on him to get what you want.


•HICKieS yO

-it happened when you first showed Peter your room

-Tony told you to leave the door open but y'all didn’t let that bother you ;)

-“YOU HAVE TAINTED MY YOUNG PETER HE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME”

-“ father why do you not express this concern for me”

-“it’s because you’re the devils spawn”


•finally perfecting that spiderman kiss

-“WE FINALLY DID IT”

-“HELLS YEAH”

-“how do I get down?”

- *cue peter’s web snapping*


•stealing Peter’s clothes

-old and new

-he leaves a sweater at your place?

-BAM it’s yours

-buys a new shirt?

-BaM It’s yours

-he eventually runs out of clothes

-Tony buys him a new wardrobe


•having a meme group chat with Ned

-sending memes about spiderman

-peter regrets introducing you to Ned


•going on dates to the zoo

-Peter taking pictures of you admiring things

-a passerby reports Peter to the security guard for looking like a creep

-your dad has to bail peter out


•whenever peter loses you in a large group of people he always knows how to find you.

-“yo Pete where’s your girlfriend?”

-“hold on one sec” *shakes wallet*

-“DID I HEAR MONEY?!?!”

-“found her”


•spoiling peter bc you’re filthy rich and he deserves the world

-“happy birthday baby!!”

-“(Y/N) is that a car???”

-*you smiling uncontrollably*

-”(Y/N) I can’t drive’’

-’’Its a keepsake’’ 


•convincing your dad to take peter on missions.

-instantly regretting it bc peter is a soft boi who needs protection.

-“If you die on this mission, I will kill you”

-updating the suit bc you must protec™

-“I’ve added extra padding to your suit to soften any falls”

-he literally cannot breathe now


•accidentally admitting that Tom Holland is your celebrity crush.

-“but we look exactly alike??”

-“don’t be ridiculous Peter, you look nothing alike”

•dates to museums and science exhibitions

-watching peter nerd out

-v cute™


•going out with Liz and Michelle for girls nights

-peter dropping in on you as part of ‘patrol’

-almost activating ‘instant kill mode’ when a guy talks to you


•you putting on the suit just to talk to Karan

-“am I the only one that thinks Peter smells like avocado? Like does he even eat avocado?”

-“I too have detected this unusual scent Ms Stark”


•Peter freaks tf out when you get sick

-like mental break down freak out

-he googles your symptoms

-which means he always thinks your dying.

-“I DIDNT KNOW WHAT SOUP YOU LIKED SO I BROUGHT ALL OF THEM USING YOUR DADS CREDIT CARDS”

-he brought like 50 tins of soup

-will not let you leave his sight

-“Peter I need to take a dump”

-“I’ll come with you”


•Wade is always crashing your dates

-he thinks you guys are friends

-“Wade will you ever leave us alone?”

-“Of course Peetie! When (Y/N)’s father accepts my adoption papers”

-“Why would a grown ass man need adopting?”

-“It’s to fund my expensive lifestyle”

-Wade also steals Peter’s wallet so he has an excuse to come along.

-eventually getting a restraining order on Wade.


•Star Wars marathons

-you thinking Luke Skywalker is hot

-Peter getting jealous

-he dresses up like Luke the next day.


•he finds your old spiderman fan account on tumblr

-when he does he just stares at you smugly from across the room.

-“what?”

-“oh nothing” ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)

-he starts texting you the ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º) face.

-“so you bet spiderman is one sexy specimen under that mask?“ ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)

-you want to die

-"I will delete you from my life”


•going to Starbucks for your anniversary dates


•peter insisting you have him on speed dial just incase anything happens

-you mostly use it to get food

-“hi”

-“(Y/N)??? Are you okay??”

-“I’ll have a double cheeseburger and fries please.”

-“(Y/N) pls”

-“what? I’m hungry”

-“may I remind you that I am  not supposed to be used for ordering take out”

-“then what the fuck are you supposed to be?”

-“your boyfriend”

-“oh yes that too”


•you wear matching outfits to school sometimes

-you are the power couple of the school


•taking Tony’s car for a joy ride

-crashing it bc peter gets nervous and webs up the windscreen

-it’s all good tho

-you use his card to buy a new one

-and blame it on Wade


•cute goodmorning texts

-“make sure to brush your teeth, you have terrible morning breath xox ~ (Y/N)

-"please brush your hair today, yesterday you looked like a yeti that had been run over and drowned in toilet water <3 Peter”


•everyone noticing how whipped Peter is for you

-except you

-peter doesn’t even know what that means he’s so outdated


•Peter has coffee mornings with Steve

-you’re never invited


•sending each other selfies

-your ugliest ones usually end up as your lock screens

-“who’s that horrendous looking creature?”

-“my fucking boyfriend bish”


•you die when peter speaks Spanish

-“pan caliente”

-“ I don’t know what you just said but please let it be the only thing you say at my funeral”

-he said hot bread


•Peter worries about your wellbeing

-he sets up daily reminders on your phone to drink water

-irl it’s just him texting you h20 puns and jokes


•you are very territorial

-if a girl so much as looks at Peter

-you will snatch the weave

-one time you actually pulled out some girls hair

-Peter thought it was hot™

-Steve and Tony did not ™


•stony are your parents tbh


•like your dad you have a lot of issues

-you’re scared peter will leave

-but he never does

-he always comes back


•arcade dates

-Peter gives you a promise ring from a vending machine

-the avengers freak out and think it’s an engagement ring.

-Steve gives you a lecture about patience and how you should wait.

-Tony on the other hand…

-“I KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME I HAVE BEEN PLANNING THIS FOR MONTHS”

-“Uh Mr Stark, we’re 17 and it’s just a promise ring”

-“You are both disappointments and disgraces to the Stark name”


•caring for him after missions

-cuddles

-back rubs

-Peter is very clingy at this point.


•knowing exactly what calms each other down.


•Training with Peter

-having a run on the treadmill whilst he does weights.

-you trip and hit your head

-Peter drops a weight on his foot bc he’s shook.

-you both go to hospital and agree never to workout together again.


•carnival dates

-peter sees a game and insists he wins a price for you

-he loses

-3 times

-you end up having a go and you win a fish

-peter has the fish for 4 days of the week and you have him for 3

-the fish is your son™

-his name is ‘the fish™’


•stargazing and talking about a future together


•you both trust and love each other a lot

•you love peter a lot

-although you don’t say it often

-you show it though

- but he already knows it

2

I didn’t actually audition. I’d been living in LA for about a month and my credit card was stolen and all my money was taken – spent at Home Depot, which was great – and I was ready to pack my bags and go back to Australia because I didn’t know how I was going to survive in LA any longer and then I got a call from my manager to say that an audition I’d done months ago for a film had been looked at by the producers of this TV show called The 100 and they wanted me to go in for a reading the next day. So I read the script that night and loved it and went in for the meeting the next day and got the role. Before I knew it I was on a plane to Vancouver to shoot the pilot and my whole life changed.

youtube

Equifucked - Mister Metokur

So Equifax, one of the three companies which is used to track and report data concerning the credit scores of people living in America, was recently revealed to have had their data security breached back in May-July. This breach resulted in 143 MILLION people’s information being stolen. Let me repeat that: In a country of ~320 million people, the information of 140 million, nearly HALF OF ALL US CITIZENS, was stolen.

This information includes social security numbers, address both past and present, past and present employers, credit card numbers, and much more. All the information necessary to commit identity fraud.

And the reason we’re only finding out about this now, in fucking September, 2-3 months after the fact, is because the fucking executives all had to sell off their stocks first.

So congratulations, if you’re an American, there’s basically a 50/50 chance that somebody you don’t know has pretty much all of your private information.

@hominishostilis @redbloodedamerica @ilikechildren–fried @libertarirynn @light-up-the-night @onemv @sillybitchynerd @viper-2-4 @abbiegoth @siryouarebeingmocked

3

Well. What a beautiful day! My foreign exchange student lost his wallet on the plane and it was found and returned WITH all the cash and credit cards. What a great representation of who we are as Americans! It made me so happy!!!

hey y’all.. i just like….. id love! if u would submit me ur credit card…. i need like.. inspiration for what colour to get… it’d help if u had front and back pictures just so i can see the full design!

Super Star (Part 1)

Originally posted by supernaturalwolfmaze

Request: Can I please request one where Jensen is a huge movie star? He’s out one night by himself and starts to get mobbed by fans/paparazzi. So he runs and hides in a shop that belongs to the reader. She doesn’t see it happen so she closes up the store with him inside. Then Jensen pops out from his hiding place and freaks her out lol. Maybe she doesn’t recognize him?

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 1,800ish

Warnings: language

A/N: So this went different than I planned. Whoops…

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