Prompt: “That’s irrational.”
When you first heard the album, sitting with Harry in your backyard, Carolina was one of your favorites. It was catchy and it had good lyrics. It didn’t cross your mind that the song was written about someone else. But when Harry went on Nicks radio show and told the story of the song and who it was about, a wave of anger couldn’t help but overcome you. Each and every time you had the album on shuffle, you skipped it faster than you could blink. When it came on the radio you turned it down. If Harry started singing it, you left the room. You came to hate the song. Hearing your love of 3 years sing about how another girl “feels so good” and is “all i think about” didn’t exactly put you in a position to fawn all over the song. This is what you were trying to explain to Harry when he confronted you about your obvious dislike for the song.
“I know you don’t like Carolina. Why? You liked it when you first heard it, didn’t you? It was one of your favorites actually. What changed?” He asked you, when he stepped out of the shower, sitting next to you on the bed.
“Nothing changed. I like the song, its good.” you said coldly.
“Then why do you go out of your way to not listen to it, and when you have to, you cringe down to the last second?” His voice was angry mixed with a bit of sadness. He wasn’t yelling…yet. You knew your opinion mattered a lot to Harry. And although you didn’t like the song, you figured he deserved the truth.
“Fine Harry. You wanna know why I don’t like the damn song?” you said and he looked at you expectantly.
“It’s blatantly about another girl. You’re one of the most private people I know. You wouldn’t go out of your way to put the girls name in the song, put it on the album and sing it on national TV if it didn’t mean a lot to you. So excuse me if I don’t want to listen to my boyfriend sing about how another girl is all he thinks about.” you said getting more and more angry with each word that you said. Harry looked at you and didn’t say anything, so you continued.
“Harry that song makes me look like a fucking joke. And I know its your music and you have the right to write about anything you want to. But every time I look at you, I see you and her. Every time I hear that song, I think of you and her. And if she means that much to you, then why am I here?”
“Babe…you’re over reacting. Its just a song.” Harry said tears welling up in his eyes, and it was then that you realized that you were crying as well. “I can promise you that she doesn’t mean as much to me as you do. Tell me what I can do to fix this. A song isn’t worth loosing you. I swear, she meant something to me a while ago. And she’ll always mean something to me in the way of a friend. But you…I can’t live without you.”
Now you were full on sobbing, “Then why’d you write the song? Its not a sin for me to be upset about the song. And it’s not even the fact that you wrote the song, it’s the fact that you took the time to expose the girl and make it very clear that it was about her.”
“So you don’t want me to write about other girls and life experiences? That’s irrational. I’m always going to write songs about my life experiences. If you cant handle that, when we can end this.” he said angrily. He immediately regretted saying it when you got up and stormed out of the room.
“I don’t know what to do Gem. She won’t talk to me, she won’t look at me, she won’t let me touch her. I don’t sleep in the same bed as her anymore, she sleeps in the guest house. Not even in the guest room, the guest house. I feel like I’m losing her, and that can’t happen.” he said on the verge of tears as he spoke to his sister on the phone.
“How long has this been going on?” she asked him carefully.
He let out a long sigh, “about 4 days.”
“Honestly, she probably shut down because she feels like you haven’t acknowledged the fact that she’s hurt. Weather you feel like you did something wrong or not, she needs to know that you know and care that she’s hurting. If you haven’t made an effort to apologize to her, she won’t know that. Especially if you aren’t talking. And Harry, you have to admit, if the roles were reversed, you’d be pretty angry, too. I think you both need to talk because it sounds like to me, this argument is a two way street.”
He made his way down the small pathway to the guest house where you’ve been staying for the greater part of a week. You didn’t want to see him, hear his voice, speak to him or anything else. You knew you were overreacting just a little bit, but in your mind, you still had the right to be upset. He rang the doorbell and you automatically knew who it was. It was the first time he had been over since you left the main house.
“Love, baby, princess…let me in. Please?” and there was something in his voice that you couldn’t ignore, even if you wanted to. You made your way over to the door, and before you could even get it all the way open, Harry pushed himself inside and wrapped his arms around you. You tensed up at first, but then relaxed into this chest, realizing you missed him. You stood there, in the doorway hugging for a long time, the first connection you’ve had with him in days.
“Let’s talk, yeah?” he asked you sweetly, kissing your nose. You nodded and lead him over to the kitchen table. You sat, not saying anything to each other before he said,
“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. When I wrote that song, I wasn’t thinking. I met Townes-”
“Don’t say her name.”
“I met her a few years back. It was just before I met you. We had a few mutual friends and they set us up on a blind date. And I’m not going to lie, I had a lot of fun that night. But she was missing something, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Plus the tour was about to start, so even just after one date, I broke it off.” He explained and you listened intently. “We remained in touch after that and I occasionally still talk to her. But I swear, she’s just a friend. She doesn’t mean nearly as much to me as you do. And when I said she was all I think about, its just a lyric. I don’t mean that literally. I deeply apologize if I made you question my love for you. That was never my intension. Its just a bloody song love. And yes it means something to me. Each and every one of my songs means something to me. But you…I could never express in words what you mean to me. I wrote countless songs about you- so, so many. But none of them bring you justice. You’re just that precious to me.” he said with a dimpled grin and a squeeze of your hand.
“I’m sorry too H. I overreacted. I shouldn’t have been so jealous. And your music is your music, and I don’t have the right to question your creativity. I’m sure she is a nice girl. She should be flattered. But can I ask you something. Obviously you don’t have to answer.”
“What do you want to know, my lovely?”
“Is there a song about me on your album.”
He looked at you with a devilish smirk and a gleam in his eye,
“Oh love, don’t you know you’re my only angel?”
(requested by: annon)