all i am capable of right now

2

April 19 2017: What motivates you? 

 I accidentally hit post on this before finishing lol and I’m late again it’s 12:29am April 20 What motivates me is that if someone else can do it, I can too. Even though I’m a woman and a minority, in America today I have all the same opportunities as anyone and I am just as capable. It’s empowering believing this ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ 

 I went to the gym finally today. I didn’t want to go but I ended up going and it was actually satisfying lol. I also played tennis! Anyways I’m still not done with the pre-lab write up that’s due tomorrow before lab :L so I’m going to go do that right now fml Organic Chem is scary 

Ellee

You Don’t Know Me | 3

Summary: Yoongi gets you pregnant and chickens out

Originally posted by yoongiyi

Word Count: 2077

Pairing: Yoongi + Reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: swearing, strong opinions on abortion

Part 1 | Part 2


“(Y/N) please-”, Yoongi rushed to your side as he saw the tears rolling down your cheeks but you stepped back, holding your free hand in front of yourself. You didn’t want to feel his touch. It always made you weak, weak for him, weak for his excuses, but you needed to stay sane in that moment. You needed him to realize how bad he screwed up. He needed to see how mad and hurt you were. If he touched you, all those feelings would vanish in a matter of seconds.

“Don’t touch me Yoongi”, you choked out and he stood still. His eyes that usually didn’t hold much emotions, were full of brokenness, regret and a hint of something you couldn’t quite make out. His shoulders had sunken forward while his hands were in his pockets.

“Why now? Why, out of all days, you picked today to talk to me?”, you sniffed and wiped over your face with the back of your hand. Today had been a rather good day for you but now you were a mess like any other day before. Just with the slight difference that today you were a mess because Yoongi was talking to you. The other days you were a mess because he didn’t talk to you.

“I-I don’t know”, he stammered, scratching the back of his neck. “I didn’t know you were here but as soon as I saw you, I couldn’t hold myself back any longer. The last month has been horrible. I felt as if I was going through hell every single time I heard your ringtone or saw your messages. Every time I heard you in our living room or saw you leave the dorms. I wanted to hold you, tell you everything will be okay. I wanted to be the one to bring you food over and take you to your appointments. I wanted to hold you in my arms until you fell asleep like we used to. Feel your heartbeat against my body and having your smell linger in my studio. I wanted to tell you cheesy lines that reminded me of you just to hear your beautiful laugh”, he had stepped closer as his index finger gently caressed the side of your face, his eyes moving over yours.

Loneliness.

The thing in his eyes, you couldn’t make out at first - it was loneliness.

“Then why did you ignore me? Why did you hurt me like that when you felt that way?”, you stared at him, pleading for an explanation. “Why did you leave me?”

Yoongi closed his eyes and swallowed hard, before shaking his head. “Because I was scared. You know how hard I work to make our dreams come true and with a baby all this hard work would have been for nothing.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Having a baby doesn’t mean that everything is ruined Yoongi. Yes, you have more responsibility but it doesn’t ruin your career. You’re very talented and everybody knows that.”

He let his hand fall down and bit down on his lip. “No, you don’t get it (Y/N). I’d have to make more time for you and the baby because obviously I can’t let you raise it alone. I wouldn’t be able to tour because I have you and the baby at home - touring would mean leaving you behind like a single mother for several months. That’s horrible. A baby would mean getting less sleep than I already do, bringing me closer to a burn-out than I already am, which I cannot afford. There are just so many negative points in this (Y/N), talent alone doesn’t make them go away.”

Confusion was written all over your face as Yoongi’s words sunk in. Realization hit you, making your jaw drop.

“Hold on - what exactly do you want Yoongi?”, you glared at him skeptically, hoping that your thoughts were wrong, silently praying to God that you were simply being overly paranoid.

He gently grabbed your hands, letting his fingers play with yours as his eyes softened. “I want you. I want you to take me back and be my girlfriend again (Y/N), please. I love you.”

These were the words you had waited for, for so long. Dreamed of every night since he left and cried over to exhaustion. But now that Yoongi had said them, an uncertain feeling spread throughout your chest area, making sickness approach you.

“But you just said that you didn’t want a baby, Yoongi”, you raised one eyebrow at him as he giggled at your words.

You didn’t understand what was so funny.

“Yeah, I don’t want a baby. I want you.”

Silence. The only noise you registered was a floor creaking somewhere in the dorm and your thoughts telling you to run. 

You were right.

Your heart beating increased and sweat formed on your palms. An enormous feeling of having to protect the little human inside of you, made your body shake.

“You’re expecting me to get an abortion?”, you asked hesitantly, afraid to hear the answer. He couldn’t be this heartless. He just couldn’t. Not the Yoongi that you knew and loved. He wouldn’t do that.

“Exactly”, he answered shortly, giving your hands a tight squeeze and smiling warmly at you. “It’s not like the baby is an actual human yet, we’re not killing anybody. We’re just doing the right thing.”

Never in all those years of knowing Yoongi, you would have thought that he’d be capable of suggesting something like that. You couldn’t even picture him thinking about such a cruelty.

He wanted to kill your baby. 

He wanted to get rid of it to be able to keep on dating you secretly again and not lose his job. He didn’t care about the baby, nor you. It was all about his job, his career, his image.

“You can’t be serious right now, Yoongi”, you slowly withdrew your hands from his touch, placing them on your tummy and slightly stepped back. 

His eyebrows raised in confusion. “Of course I am (Y/N). That’s the best solution for all of us.”

Crazily, you started shaking your head, disbelief numbing your body. “This is the best solution for you! What about the baby? You’re just gonna kill it off because it’s an inconvenience to you? What if I’m an inconvenience at some point, huh? Are you gonna kill me then, too?”

At this point, you were screaming at him, forgetting about all the pain you had gone through because of him. All you could think of was he wants my baby dead, repeating in your head like a deadly mantra.

“What? No, of course not. Are you crazy? That’s different! This baby isn’t even born yet”, he screamed back, trying to come closer to you but you pushed him away with one hand while the other one was still holding onto your tiny tummy. Jungkook was right, you weren’t fat but you did have a little noticeable tummy by now and you were going to protect it, no matter what. Or who.

“How is this different Min Yoongi? This baby is a living creature just like you and me. It might not be fully developed yet but it’s still a little person. It’s still a little person that we”, you signaled in between the two of you, “created. It has our DNA, our blood, our everything. It is growing inside of me and God have mercy, I will do anything and everything to protect this little creature from anything and anyone.”

Your fists were balled and your body was shaking angrily. Yoongi’s expression turned from confused to attentive.

“Babe listen, that’s just your motherly instincts. It’s nothing-”, Yoongi tried to explain but you held up a hand, not believing what you were about to say.

“Yoongi, if you don’t want this baby then fine. I’ll leave you alone. You don’t have to raise this baby with me. But I’m not going to abort it. Never. I might be a broke college student with a shitty part-time job that really does not pay me enough but I’ll get through it. I have the boys and Jin who are supporting me so much, unlike you. Especially Jin. So you don’t have to worry, he’ll take care of me and the baby and help me whenever I need help”, you tried to look at him with a straight face but you were never that good in hiding your emotions. He could read you like an open book and he knew that it hurt you to say those words to him.

“So what, Jin is going to replace me and raise that baby instead? Jin, who is secretly in love with you and has been for years is going to be its dad while me - the actual father - will be “Uncle Yoongi” is this how it’s going to be? Wow what a great choice (Y/N), really. You have to be kidding me”, he clenched his teeth and tilted his head in annoyance. “I won’t let him take you away from me. We’ve been through too much (Y/N). I love you and want to be with you! Why can’t you see that? Why isn’t that enough?”

You stopped in your tracks. What did Yoongi just say?

“What did you say?”

“Why isn’t my love enough-”, he started but you shook your head. 

“No, the other thing about Jin. He’s what?”, there’s no way you had heard right. He was just a friend, nothing more.

Yoongi rolled his eyes and bit onto his lower lip, moving from one foot to another. He was anxious and you could tell. “He has been in love with you since I introduced you to the boys. He confessed it to me maybe a year after we started dating. It was so obvious, I thought you’d be able to tell.”

Again, you shook your head. This time more slowly. 

That’s why he always went the extra mile to make sure you were doing fine.

It all makes sense now.

Slowly, you took a deep breath and exhaled in order to calm yourself. You couldn’t afford to make any irrational decision right now.

Looking up at Yoongi, you noticed his sunken figure and your heart shattered into even tinier pieces than it had been before. “Jin will not be their dad and you won’t be the uncle. You’re the father Yoongi and nothing’s going to change that. I will raise this kid because I always hoped for a future with you, a future where we’d be happily married with our own family and I love you so much Min Yoongi, I do. You’re the love of my life and even if I have to raise our baby alone, he or she should know that at least their mom believed in love”, you cleared your throat before continuing. “Also, Jin won’t take me away from you because”, another deep inhale, “I don’t belong to you and we’re not together anymore. You left me and you don’t want this baby. So, no Yoongi, your love is not enough for me. If you loved me like you say you do, we’d be making up already and talking about our future with the baby. Not discussing your wish for its abortion and fathomless jealousy of Jin.”

“Babe, I-”, his face fell and tears welled up in his eyes.

You turned your back to him and walked towards the front door, unable to take in his broken state anymore because in your opinion, he wasn’t allowed to feel that way. You were the broken one. Not him. He didn’t have any right to be this upset and helpless.

“No Yoongi, that’s it. You don’t want the baby, okay. I get it. I should have understood that earlier and not bother you with all my calls and texts and randomly show up at your house, imagining that I knew you well enough to think you were only being stubborn”, you clumsily put on your shoes while Yoongi simply stood behind you, looking like a lost boy.

“Please don’t go”, he whispered under tears, voice cracking, making you look up. It broke your heart and new tears rolled down your cheeks as well, as you saw his heartache displayed on his face. Gently, you wiped some tears off his cheeks.

“I have to”, you replied, turning around before he could do or say anything, closing the door behind you.

©jiminelli

Parks & Recs meme, prt. 2 !

Tom Haverford.

❝ One time my refrigerator stopped working. I didn’t know what to do. I just moved! ❞
❝ TREAT YOURSELF! ❞
❝ This is the hardest I’ve worked on anything since… Wow. I’ve never worked hard on anything. What a cool life! ❞
❝ Your boobs are dead! ❞
❝ [name], ask me if I’m sad. ❞
❝ Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot. ❞
❝ I have never taken the high road, but I tell other people to ‘cause then there’s more road for me on the low road. ❞
❝ Oh my god, what have I done? Like, to humanity! ❞
❝ God, you don’t deserve the internet! ❞

Donna Meagle.

❝ Treat. Yo. Self! ❞
❝ Is there some kind of medication that you maybe need a lot of, and have taken none of or a little too much of? ❞
❝ You best watch yourself. ❞
❝ If you don’t like how I tweet, don’t follow me. ❞
❝ Do I look like I drink water? ❞
❝ I’m chilling. ❞
❝ Yes, I am a hunter. And it’s you-season. ❞
❝ Come on now, you know I don’t give a fuck. ❞
❝ You don’t watch Game of Thrones? Have you seen those Dothraki dudes? They can get it! ❞

Chris Traeger.

❝ You did a great job, Superstar! ❞
❝ I believe you’re capable of much more. ❞
❝ I am 100% certain that I am 0% sure of what I’m going to do. ❞
❝ Your inbox is literally filled with penises. ❞
❝ You’re literally the meanest person I’ve ever met. ❞
❝ I have literally a 1,000 questions. ❞
❝ It literally broke my heart. ❞
❝ If I keep my body moving and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair. ❞
❝ I’m so happy! ❞

Ann Perkins.

❝ Jogging is the worst. I mean, I know it keeps you healthy, but God, At what cost? ❞
❝ I don’t know, I’m weird with kids. ❞
❝ I’m dating myself right now. ❞
❝ She/he has no flaws! There was one time I thought she/he farted. But it was me. ❞
❝ Oh my God, are you serious? ❞

Garry Gergich.

❝ I– no one ever lets me talk this long. I just got lost. ❞
❝ That was really something! ❞
❝ What? ….. I didn’t know I was adopted. ❞
❝ Do you need help with anything? ❞
❝ My birthday is February 29th! ❞
❝ Comic Sans always screams fun. ❞

anonymous asked:

Can you do a blurb where Gemma and Anne don't like Harry's girlfriend and think she's using him for money. Harry doesn't know and then finds out and is really upset about it

“’ello?”

“Harry, how many times do I have to tell you?”

“That I’m the fittest bloke you’ve ever laid eyes on?” She could hear the smirk through the speaker of her phone, knowing that he knew damn well what she was talking about. “As many times as you want.”

“You know what I’m talking about.” She wasn’t angry, per se- just overwhelmed, for lack of better words, at how much he spoiled her. “Just because I remarked how nice a bracelet was last week doesn’t mean I wanted it.” She sighed, the sparkle of the diamond on said bracelet catching the sun from where she had it laid on the kitchen table in front of her. “And if I did happen to want it, I could buy it for myself.”

“Know you could.” He didn’t sound the slightest bit phased because she put up an argument every time. “Just wanted to spoil my girl,‘s that really such a crime?”

“Yes.” She was quick to answer. “I don’t want you thinking I’m only here for the gifts and the money.”

“I know you’re not.” He shook his head, despite knowing she couldn’t possibly see him. “But it’s my way of showing you how much you mean to me.”

Admittedly, it warmed her heart how much thought and love was behind each and every gift, none of them were ever just a splurge of money because he felt like he had to buy her over.

“And I’m really thankful, but I honestly don’t need gifts to see that you’re genuine about us.” Her voice was much softer now. “Just- promise me you’ll stop spending your money on me all the time? I really do appreciate it but it would make me much happier to see you spend it on one of your ridiculously expensive scarves or something.”

“A’right I promise.” He sighed jokingly, as if she was asking a lot off him. “I hope you know I’m only going to go crazy on your birthday and at Christmas, though.”

“I guess I can live with that.” She reasoned and he chuckled.

He was one of only a few others sitting in the departures lounge of the airport and he was thankful for his own space in the corner, happier to bicker with his girlfriend than to make small talk with anyone else. After speaking for a little while longer, the voice on the speaker announced his flight, notifying him that there was only five minutes until the gates closed.

“I’ve got to go love but I’ll see you later on.” He stood up, throwing his carry on over his shoulder and making his way towards his gate.

“Ok, call me when you land safe.”

“Will do.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

//

On her way to the airport, (y/n) decided she could kill a bit of time by calling in with Gemma as it would beat sitting on an uncomfortable metal bench for god knows how long until Harry’s flight came in. She also figured she could pick up his charger that he mentioned leaving there last week.

Having only been with Harry for just under 10 months, she had met Anne and Robin four times, Gemma three and Des just once. There was the whole formal ‘meet the parents’ meal a few months in and, afterwards, it was a rare occasion that she was able to travel with Harry to see them on his time off- she did have her own work commitments after all.

Despite that, she wasn’t entirely nervous about meeting with Gemma again; she seemed easy enough to talk to when Harry was present so she was sure going solo wouldn’t make a huge difference. After pulling up to the apartment block and being allowed to walk on ahead through by the security guard who had come to know who she was, she made it up to the fourth floor in a matter of minutes and gave a light knock on the oak-wood door.

“Hi!” She greeted the female clone of her boyfriend as soon as the door opened. “I was on my way to the airport to get Harry but figured I may as well drop in to say hello and pick up his charger for him.”

“Couldn’t he have done that once he landed?” She tried to ignore the bitter tone to her voice, deciding instead to laugh it off.

“He’s usually too tired to function after a long flight.” She laughed.

“I know.” She gave her a pointed look. “He’s been my brother longer than he’s been your boyfriend, y’know.”

This time, she decided to stay silent and chose not to address the bitterness in her voice. Without any further word, Gemma trudged back through her flat. Not knowing if she was welcome to follow or not, (y/n) hovered awkwardly by the doorway before deciding to just follow her anyway.

She could hear her talking to someone in the kitchen, but couldn’t make out – and didn’t really have an interest in- what they were saying.

“Hi, Anne.” She gave her a warm smile once realising who the voice belonged to on her arrival to the kitchen. “It’s lovely to see you again.”

“Thanks.” She gave her a tight lipped smile, not bothering to maintain any eye contact.

“I’ll just get that charger then-“

“New bracelet?” Anne nodded to the diamond link on her arm; the brand new one that had only arrived from Harry mere hours ago.

“Oh.” She looked down at it. “Yeah.”

“How’d you afford that?” The harshness in Gemma’s voice was painfully obvious now and (y/n) didn’t miss how her mother winced slightly at the tone she had certainly not been brought up to use, but she didn’t bother reprimanding her.

“Harry got it for me.”

“Of course he did.” She laughed a dry, bitter laugh. “Just like everything else you own.”

She was taken aback to say the least and couldn’t find any words to answer with, because what exactly could she answer with?

“What she means is that you seem to be getting an awful lot off Harry lately.” Anne tried to ease the awkward atmosphere in the room but didn’t back down on defending her son from someone she thought was taking advantage of him.

“I don’t-“

“I mean, if it’s not him taking you out everywhere and paying the bill every time, it’s you getting these expensive gifts off him.”

“I don’t ask him to.” She was making a poor effort at defending herself against the two strongly opinionated women, sounding nothing short of timid and nervous. “I don’t like when he buys me things all the time.”

“Sure you don’t.” Gemma rolled her eyes. “Listen, Harry’s an adult and neither of us two can tell him who or what he spends his hard earned money on. But we just wanted to make it clear that we can see you for exactly the way you are and we’ll never accept someone into the family who takes advantage of him.”

“Gem-“

“No, Mum.” She snapped. “You said it yourself. Harry only thinks he’s in love and she’s taking advantage of that.”

She looked to Anne for confirmation that she hadn’t said such a thing after being so nice when Harry was there, but when her head stayed bowed down, eyes focused on the table, she took a deep breath and stuttered out a quiet “I’m sorry.” Before bolting to her car where she would be able to let out the hurt she was feeling.

//

Landed safe. Just getting my bags xx

In the café x

“Boo.” (y/n) jumped, startled from where she was in deep thought and didn’t have to fake the smile on her face when the familiar feeling of her boyfriend’s arms were engulfing her. “Well, somebody certainly missed me.” He laughed, placing a kiss on her forehead.

“I did.” She mumbled into his shirt.

“C’mon, let’s get home, yeah?” He suggested.

“Do you want a coffee before we go?” She asked, pulling a note from her purse that would cover the price of a coffee each.

“I’d love one, actually.” She stopped him when his hand went to the pocket of his jeans where he kept loose change.

“I’ll get it.”

“Love, ‘s only a coffee.” He smirked. “Am I not even allowed to treat you to that now?”

“Not when I’m fully capable of buying it myself Harry!” Her volume had increased slightly, but not to the point where she was drawing any unwanted attention to them. “I do have a job, you know.”

“I’m aware.” He spoke slowly, trying to read her expression.

“And could you please take this,” She pulled the bracelet off her wrist. “back? I’m sick of you throwing away all your hard earned money on me.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” He placed his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to stay right where she was until he figured out what the hell was going on in her head. “What’s this all about? Where did you take this notion?”

“I’m not taking advantage of you.”

“No one said you were, poppet.”

Everyone says I am!”

“Well I don’t care what everyone says,” He shrugged. “I know you’re not.”

“You only-“ She took a shuddering breath in. “You only think you love me.” His face fell at her statement. “And I’m taking advantage of that.”

“No this isn’t-“ He shook his head. “This isn’t you. Is this the fans? I’ve told you not to look at what they’re saying.”

“No, it’s not the fans.”

“Who, then?”

She didn’t want to tell him; didn’t want to be the reason for a possible argument with his mother and sister. But the desperate look on his face made her want to take away all his worries.

“It doesn’t-“

“Who, (y/n)?” He was more stern now.

“Your mum and Gemma just pointed out a few things.” She swallowed. “I don’t blame them for thinking how they did.” He looked confused, angry and hurt that two of the people he cared most about were saying such things about one of the other people he cared deeply for. “It could be true-“

“It’s bullshit.” He asserted. “Complete and utter bullshit.”

“Harry-“

“Let’s go home.”

//

Much later that night, Harry crawled into bed after having a shower and could tell by how his girlfriend was breathing that she wasn’t asleep, but was still facing away from him. He decided to give her space but laid one hand on her hip, tracing mindless little patterns.

“I called mum earlier.” She didn’t respond with words but he seen how her shoulders tensed up. “I made sure she knew how wrong that was of them to say such things about you.” Still no response. “She just worries sometimes but I’ll not let them speak to you like that again.”

“You didn’t have to do that.” Her voice was cracked with the emotion that had built up inside her all day.

“It’s because I love you.” He placed a kiss on her shoulder blade. “And I know I do.”

My boyfriend went through a pretty bad accident December 2016 and is healing from a severe brain injury. He’s been doing really well with improving and I’ve been there every step of the way, helping with therapy, working with doctors, and also taking care of him 24 hours a day. He proposed to me a million times following the accident, saying that he actually died in the accident but he begged God to bring him back to life for me. He tells me that he couldn’t bare the possibility of being in Heaven without me. However, his “close friends” and even some of his family members think I try to be his voice and that he’s unable to think on his own. They’ve been spreading lies saying that I orchestrated all his proposals and that I lie about the way he feels about me. He recently went back to social media, and his friends don’t believe that he’s capable of writing/typing! They think I’m delusional and I put on a front for him. We were on a break right before the accident, and that’s what his friends use as ammo for the rumors. I wish my boyfriend could tell me what he said to his friends about me before the accident, but he has terrible memory now. It’s crazy how after all this time, they still think they know him more than I do when I am the one who is around 24/7. You really do see people’s true colors when tragedies occur.

To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before

I turned my head with an eyebrow raised as she stepped out of her apartment building for the last time. She had a bag packed, draped over her shoulder, and a smile that made my heart stop. She really was coming with me.

 It was then that I realize that she was exactly what I had been looking for all this time.

I’ve never been good at that lovey-dovey, chick-flick moment crap, but there have been a few girls in my life that I thought I loved. 

And I owe them an apology because it turns out that the feelings I had for them weren’t love. I thought they were, but now, knowing the way I feel for Y/N… I have only every truly loved her.

Cassie. She was firey and passionate, and she knew what she wanted. Ultimately, the minute I bared my heart to her, revealed my world to her, she dismissed me as though I couldn’t be bothered to tell her the truth. Even after years apart when she found out the truth, I thought I could love her still. I had really never stopped loving her, but something was missing. 

I didn’t know it at the time, but I know what was wrong now. 

She wasn’t you. 

Lisa. She took me in when I thought I had no place to go. She offered me a home and a life outside of this life. She loved me unconditionally and never questioned the broken mess that I was. She allowed me to love Ben which may have been her greatest gift. She was the hardest to walk away from. 

In the end, my reason for leaving would be Sam, but I realize now what I didn’t know then. 

She wasn’t you. 

Part of me wishes I could go back in time and undo the time that I spent with these women because it was time spent that I could have been finding you, could have been loving you. But I realize now that those experiences made me the man that I am today. Without them, I’m not sure if I would be ready to love you as fully as I do. Without them I may never have realized that you were what I was really missing. 

So, to all the girls I’ve loved before… thank you. Thank you for opening my eyes and making me see. Making me see that I am capable of a love that is greater than myself, capable of loving so deeply it hurts, capable of laying it all on the line once I really found the right reason to. 

And Y/N, that reason is you. I think you know that, or you wouldn’t be coming with me now. 

I just want you to know those women helped make me a better man for you, but I’m so glad that I finally have you in my arms because you are what’s right in my world. You pull me from the darkness. You saved me when I was lost. You are the love of my life.

You, I could never live without. 

TRYING TO GET OUT OF MY ABUSIVE HOME.

Let me start off by saying: my father is abusive, and this post will (hopefully) be the only way for me to get out of my abusive household.

I’ll explain to you guys a few things so that you can understand my current situation:

My father is the father of all control freaks. 

I am 19 years of age - legally an adult in Canada. However, he will not allow me to be independent, such as having my own cat or my own vehicle in my name, and he also uses these things as a form of blackmail to keep me in the house.


He controls how much time I spend on the internet, and who I talk to; he went as far as illegally running background checks on my former partners. 
I have little to no privacy, he periodically rummages through my room to find something to yell at me about, and if he doesn’t, he yells at me for the mess *he* left.

Moreover, he has denied me medical treatment multiple times, even for serious injuries (e.g. a dislocated elbow).

Starting in high-school up until now, I have suffered from several mental illnesses, including depression, extreme anxiety, panic attacks, and PTSD caused by severe trauma that lasted 5 years of my childhood and has left massive gaps in my memory. All of these mental illnesses have had a huge impact on my life, not just at home, but in my school work as well, and my day-to-day life.

However, my father does not believe any of my trauma is real, says it’s my fault if I was traumatised, constantly belittles me for my mental health problems, and says I’m making everything up for attention.

On top of that, he is abusive to my siblings too; one of them is older and already moved out, and the other one is only 14 years old.

Finally, my father told me that if I do not do what he wants and go to school, I will be kicked out onto the street, family ties cut, and *everything* I own taken from me. My cat, will not only be taken away but “gotten rid of” by their words which could mean a number of things.

However, if I graduate a program in college I can leave the house and bring my cat, Molly, with me. This is her!:

(She isn’t actually mad her face just looks like that)
 
And I also get to keep my vehicle. Both of these things are not in my name even though currently I pay for them both, and take care of them completely by myself. The car is relatively unimportant to me as I don’t consider it an essential but Molly must come with me.

I currently have no money saved up for post secondary education, due to my mental health disintegrating thanks to a disability in the middle of my first year of nursing, and me losing the capability to witness deaths in the hospital placement. And all of this wasting all the funds I had saved. On top of this, he has said that he expects me to go back to school in January, which as of right now is not financially possible. He has said that if I do not go back to school by January then I am to be kicked out. However, if I can reason with my mother then I can possibly push this back to September of 2018, which will most likely give me enough time to gather the funds.  

So as I said, I need to get out of my abusive household as soon as possible, because it’s extremely detrimental to my already fragile mental health. This is why I am opening the doors for commissions of any and all kinds to help save money for this plan.

I am not asking for donations, and I am not asking for hand-outs, because I honestly hate asking for help and I don’t like just taking people’s money without giving something in return. If you are unable to or do not wish to help by commissioning then all I ask is that you reblog this post so that it can be seen.

Here is the plan:

My father, of course, said he refuses to help me in the slightest if I wanted to move, so, I don’t get even a bit of help from my family. That’s why I need to save more money to get in and finish a ONE YEAR program so that I can seal the devil’s deal and get the hell out of dodge as soon as possible (the shortest college programs run for one year). Right now, I work a part-time job that only earns me minimum wage, and still have bills to pay on top of that. I am unable to get a second job as my disability doesn’t allow for it, and because of this I am not making enough money to save for school in time for January. I  am not going to be depending solely on commissions to save the money, as I AM working, it’s just that extra push to get things done.


I’m sure, however, that you’re wondering why I don’t just leave. And believe me, I have tried to. Here is a short list of examples of what my father is like and why I cannot leave of my own free will:

1.  Once, I ran away in the middle of the night after a massive fight, he called the police on me and told them I had drugs in my possession (obviously, a lie) to get me searched and arrested. There is a great possibility of this happening again if I tried to get away even though I am an adult, he’d do anything to try and get me arrested.

2. I tried to leave to a friend’s house for refuge during a massive fight over laundry, which led to my father furiously chasing me down the driveway to my car. There, I sat with the doors locked and windows rolled up while he banged on them and tried to rip open the door for a good 20 minutes. He then said if I left the driveway *in the car that is actually mine*, he would call the police and tell them I had stolen it to get me arrested again.


3. While he is not physically abusive, he has tried to hit me. During yet another fight, which involved him coming into my bedroom while I was sleeping in the middle of the night to yell at me for something minor I can’t even remember, he attempted to grab my face and hit me. I have without a doubt that he will make some kind of physical attempt at keeping me from leaving the house.

I have tried to fight fire with fire so many times, and every time it has just ended with more violence and abuse. For the past several years I have tried to escape or find ways out, and have failed. Getting through the next year or two with my head low, doing what he says and taking the punches as they come is the only way out.

Thank-you, for reading through this to the end. If you are interested in helping and want a commission please message me, or send me an ask if you have questions, and we can work out details and prices. If you still wish to help but cannot commission all I ask is that you re-blog this post.

I will be posting some recent drawings Ive been working on for examples.

Reasons why The LEGO Movie is a really, really great movie:

1. It’s got a super great message!
2. There’s not a single character you can genuinely dislike
3. There are tons of celebrities from famous and iconic shows and movies voicing the characters, like Chris Pratt, Liam Neeson and MORGAN FREEMAN, etc
4. EVERYTHING IS AWESOME
5. Everything is from the perspective from an 8 and a half year old
6. THERE ARE NO FART JOKES OR TOILET HUMOR THANK YOU LORD
7. “When you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel, you find yourself with a Will Ferrel.” A quote from the character he voices in the behind the scenes video.
8. THERES A BAD COP AND A GOOD COP THAT ARE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON WITH TWO FACES
9. Nods to the older lego sets, with the 1980-something space guy, Benny, helmet broken and design scuffed
10. THE VILLIAN IS NOT KILLED OFF.
11. Scribble Cop is precious and he must be protected at all costs.
12. Emmet’s ending speech makes me tear up everytime. “You… don’t have to be… the bad guy. You… are the most talented. The most interesting. The most important person of all time. And you are capable of amazing things. Because you are the Special. And so am I. And so is everyone. The prophecy is made up. But it’s also true. It’s about all of us. And right now, it’s about you. And you, still, can change everything.”

Forelsket. *Shawn Mendes*

Teacher!Shawn Mendes

Forelsket: (Norwegian)

-That overwhelming euphoric feeling you experience when you’re falling in love with someone.

WARNING: there’s smut in this imagine!

Keep reading

Hey there guys, this is Kae. 

Let me make it clear before you read on that this post is not McHanzo related so to speak, but it is fandom related. I just got back online after a three day long mental breakdown, and I want to talk about some things. It’s gonna be a long one.

The most important thing I want to talk about is this fandom. Before Friday, when I had the first breakdown of many last weekend due to real life stuff, there was a lot going on here and building up here. Nothing out of the ordinary for me and Lynn– some people treated us badly, we responded, and suddenly there was a witch-hunt in the tag for us. Happens all the time, no big deal, usually.

But it is a big deal to me right now. Why is that not out of the ordinary for me and Lynn? Why are we used to people treating us this way, acting as if every word we speak has to be scrutinised, or as if we need to act in a way that suits everyone, or not act at all?

I want the people who think this way of us to read these words carefully: We Are Not A Service. 

We are not an official blog. We represent no one but ourselves, and we never claimed otherwise. We are just two human beings running a blog and trying to have a good time with a community who shares our interest.

Yet every time we try to do something, spanning as far back as when we brought in the Artist and Author directory or the Spotify playlist, we see hate in the tag here, or on twitter, or sent to us anonymously, because we’ve apparently done something wrong. 

Now, sometimes, when we know the source, we know what the real issue is. But if all we see is people insulting myself and Lynn as people because of the way we’ve said something or worded something, or because we acted in a way somebody didn’t like and word travels from person to person that we’re suddenly horrible, we can’t possibly know how to respond.

I had a talk with someone today who had some things about myself and Lynn miscommunicated to them by other people, who probably heard from someone else, etc, etc. When I heard what their grievances were with us and I helped clear up where they were wrong and where they were right, I feel like it was a good conversation. This person learned something about who we really are as people, and I got some constructive criticism rather than mindless hate. 

The things to be learned from that conversation are, first of all, that you can always approach me and Lynn if you have some constructive criticism. Don’t assume that someone else has and that we’ve just ignored them. I can tell you that 100% of the time thus far, we need input, because nobody just comes straight up and tells us, “Hey, I think you could do this better this way,” or something. 

Secondly, do not believe everything you hear about us. This person today heard a weird rumour that people who ship certain other ships (such as McReyes, in this case) were not going to be allowed in our McHanzo Zine. I don’t even know where that rumour came from– I ship McReyes myself, why would I do that? If you’ve heard something and you’re worried, just ask us. 

The third, learned not only by that conversation, but by my entire experience running this blog, is to try to remember that me and Lynn are just people. We have feelings, we’re not all-knowing, we’re not perfect. We do not always know if there’s a problem unless you tell us. We get things wrong sometimes and we are 100% capable of owning that and improving. Please, please don’t assume that we do not care. We see all tagged hate both here and on Twitter because we check the tags for content. It hurts when it’s personal. 

I am just getting pretty tired, my friends, which is why I’m making this post. These last few days, when I tried to come online to escape what’s happening in my life right now, all I came back to was hate, drama, and more hate, and a lot of it very personally directed at us as people. I was this close to quitting this blog, dropping the Zine, deleting Discord, etc. But then I remembered that I used to have so much fun doing this, I really did. It isn’t fun right now, and I mean that when I say it. But it can be again sometime. 

I know some of what I’m feeling has something to do with the fact that my mental health is literally in the drain right now because of things in my life, but the fact that I care about this blog has not helped, because that makes it hurt even more when the personal attacks come in.

But yeah, in summary– yes, we fuck up. No, we are not always aware of it, because we are human beings and no one is perfect. People rarely bring it to our attention when we do, and instead they complain and tag hate, which spreads, and creates an impression of us as people that others begin to think is true. This can be solved by just talking to us. 

I really mean it. Just talk to us, cause I promise you we are listening.

** DRABBLE PROMPTS **

hey hey hey!

so i know hitting 400 followers is not a huge milestone but it’s huge to me so i’m celebrating it with this drabble prompt idea

so how this is gonna work is the same as requesting an imagine except that you include up to four drabble ideas from the list of drabble prompts below; don’t forget to include the name of the character and the fandom.

the request should look something like this:

          “can i have a liam dunbar drabble with numbers 3, 7, & 10″

below is the list of 230+ drabble prompts below:

1. “Why are we at a strip club?”
2. “I’m sorry, you said what to your teacher?”
3. “Am I dead?”
4. “It’s always been you. You and only you.”
5. “If you loved me, you’d fight for it. If you loved me, you’d show it. If you loved me, you’d fight for me. Do you even know what love is?”
6. “Stay with me.”
7. “How about we put the gun down and talk about this?”
8. “I came here to kick ass and chew gum.. and I’m all out of gum.”
9. “Whatever it is I didn’t do it.”
10. “Don’t make me regret saving you.”
11. “Are you-are you flirting with me?”
12. “I’m proud of you. I’m proud of us.”
13. “I trusted you.”
14. “Am I supposed to be impressed?”
15. “Don’t tempt me.”
16. “I’m going to kiss you now.”
17. “Is that my shirt?”
18. “Would you quit moving around?” “It’s not my fault we’re tied up together!”
19. “Does your life revolve around embarrassing me?”
20. “I can’t do this anymore.”
21. “Do you smell burning?”
22. “Look at the sky.”
23. “I didn’t know you could do that.”
24. “I will not hesitate to murder you.”
25. “It’s simple really. Here let me show you.”
26. “I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.”
27. “Hey have you seen my- Oh.”
28. “Go to hell.” “Already been but thanks for the invite.”
29. “Look at me.”
30. “Go away! I don’t ever want to see you again!”
31. “Don’t tell me how to calm down, you calm down!”
32. “Where did you get that?”
33. “Oh my gosh is that blood?”
34. “What are you doing here by yourself?”
35. “Here, take my hand. Everything is fine, just hold onto me and keep moving.”
36. “I don’t know who I am without you.”
37. “You don’t need to protect me.”
38. “Stop looking at me like that!”
39. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”
40. “All I wanted was the truth.”
41. “I had a nightmare about you, and I wanted to make sure you were alright.”
42. “You make me feel like I’m not good enough.”
43. “I told you not to fall in love with me.”
44. “I forgive a lot, but I never forget what was said and done.”
45. “Again?”
46. “Please shut up. Just shut up.”
47. “I’m tired of being your secret.”
48. “You know, it’s okay to cry.”
49. “Go on, tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.”
50. “I just want to be alone right now.”
51. “Those things you said yesterday.. did you really mean them?”
52. “Just say it is okay. I just need to hear you say that.”
53. “I love you and I am terrified.”
54. “Promise me you’ll come back.. I need you to promise me.”
55. “That’s distracting.”
56. “I think I picked up your coffee by mistake.”
57. “Wait a second.. are you jealous?”
58. “This is by far the most stupid plan you’ve ever created. Of course I’m in.”
59. “You did this for me?”
60. “I’m afraid this conversation is going to end in goodbye.”
61. “Would you just hold still?”
62. “We’re running low on time here.”
63. “You’ve got something on your cheek.”
64. “I’m not bothering you, am I?”
65. “Really, right now?”
66. “Wait, you’re my soulmate?”
67. “I really wish you told me your mother was in town.”
68. “You’re wrong and I’ll prove it.”
69. “I can never say no to a picnic.”
70. “I could tell it was your favorite book from all the notes you wrote in the margins.”
71. “I never imagined myself in a wedding dress.”
72. “I’m yours, in every way possible.”
73. “We’re not just friends, and you know it.”
74. “Well. Yell, scream, say something, anything.”
75. “Where do you think you’re going?”
76. “Nobody thinks what I think.”
77. “Despite what you think, I am completely capable of taking care of myself.”
78. “Just please be my best friend right now, and not the person I confessed my love to.”
79. “I think you’re just afraid to be happy.”
80. “Make me.”
81. “Well if you insist.”
82. “We’ll get through this, I promise.”
83. “I can’t believe you don’t like Disney movies.”
84. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
85. “Sometimes I really dislike you.”
86. “You’re getting crumbs all over my bed.”
87. “It’s too early for this.”
88. “But then I’d have to put pants on..”
89. “If my parents knew what I was doing they’d kill me.”
90. “Are you trying to make me to hate you? Because it’s working.”
91. “Don’t open those till later!”
92. “For some reason I’m attracted to you.”
93. “To be honest I could care less.”
94. “Go on then, tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.”
95. “Hold my hand, we have to make this look convincing!”
96. “I’ll make it right for you.”
97. “When you smile I fall apart.”
98. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
99. “I really don’t know why I’m crying.”
100. “I won’t let you fall.”
101. “I’m like 20% sure this plan work. There’s an 80% chance we could die horribly and violently, but this plan is solid, I swear.”
102. “I’m not happy here.”
103. “I’m so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend.”
104. “I’m tired of being your secret.”
105. “Well if you’re up for the challenge.”
106. “I’ve moved on.”
107. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you don’t think I can see you.”
108. “If I die, I am coming back to haunt you.”
109. “If you don’t want to talk about it then say so. Don’t lie and pretend to be fine when you clearly aren’t.”
110. “If you walk out that door don’t you dare think about coming back.”
111. “Is that a challenge?”
112. “Is it supposed to look like that? Are you sure?”
113. “I made you cupcakes cause I knew you liked them.”
114. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
115. “I mean, it could be worse.”
116. “This wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”
117. “This was all a dream?”
118. “It’s not what it looks like.”
119. “It’s okay I’m here for you.”
120. “Wait, you did what again?”
121. “Just talk to me.”
122. “Just leave me alone!”
123. “Let him go! It’s me who you want!”
124. “My parents asked about you again.”
125. “Make a wish.”
126. “None of this makes sense.”
127. “None of that matters anymore.”
128. “Wait this is your handwriting? I thought this was hieroglyphics.”
129. “Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you.”
130. “Oh my god! You’re in love with her!”
131. “Please don’t give up on me.”
132. “Please listen to me.”
133. “Please don’t go.”
134. “Please.. I love you.”
135. “Please, take me instead!”
136. “Please don’t leave me.”
137. “Please don’t argue with me.”
138. “Promise me you’ll take care of her/him.”
139. “Promise me you’ll take better care of yourself.”
140. “Promise me you’ll stay.”
141. “Why are you taking so many photos?”
142. “I didn’t know you could play.”
143. “You can sing?”
144. “Teach me how to play?”
145. “Are you okay?” “Why do you ask?” “Because you’re wearing two different shoes.”
146. “Want to talk about it?”
147. “I just really miss talking with you.”
148. “Things don’t always turn out the way we want them to.”
149. “This isn’t just about you. It’s about what’s best for all of us.”
150. “You made me what?”
151. “Times up!”
152. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
153. “We could’ve had it all.”
154. “Are you sure you two aren’t married?”
155. “Well.. don’t keep me waiting.”
156. “Please look at me.”
157. “What have I ever done to you?”
158. “What are you doing here?”
159. “When are you going to realize I don’t care?”
160. “When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people stop to roll their eyes or call you crazy.. even then. Especially then!”
161. “Where did that cat come from?”
162. “Where did you get this from?”
163. “Why are you up so early?”
164. “Why can’t they see they’re meant for each another?”
165. “Why did you choose me?”
166. “Why don’t you say it to my face?”
167. “Why couldn’t you come to me with your problems?”
168. “Would you stop for a second so I can say something to you for once!”
169. “You need to calm down.”
170. “I know you told me to stop thinking about you, but I can’t get you out of my mind.”
171. “You are nothing like them.”
172. “You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me.”
173. “I never believed in love till I met you.”
174. “I don’t need a Prince Charming saving me.”
175. “You can’t sit on the sidelines your entire life!”
176. “You deserve so much better.”
177. “You did all of this for me?”
178. “You take my love for granted.”
179. “You haven’t even touched your food.. what’s going on?”
180. “You know my name?”
181. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this on my own.”
182. “Stay the night. Please.”
183. “What did you say?”
184. “Why are you so annoying?”
185. “Don’t ask me that.”
186. “Don’t ever mention that again.”
187. “What’s with the box?”
188. “Say it!”
189. “Stop pinning this on me! You started it!”
190. “Did you do this on purpose?”
191. “Don’t give me that look! You started it!”
192. “It’s not fair!”
193. “I could kill you right now!”
194. “Don’t you dare give me that look!”
195. “Screw you!”
196. “Just shut up already.”
197. “You are so infuriating.
198. “Listen to me!”
199. “I dare you!”
200. “Please pretend to be my girlfriend/boyfriend.”
201. “You think I’m insensible enough to fall for that?”
202. “I’m not going to apologize. I can’t anymore.”
203. “Is this seat taken?”
204. “It’s midnight, what do you want?”
205. “You are strangely comfortable.”
206. “Imagine if it could always be this way, even in the city.”
207. “I don’t know how to feel any more.”
208. “At what point did you think that was a good idea?”
209. “Just marry me already.”
210. “Did I stutter?”
211. “Did I just say that out loud?”
212. “Did you hear that.”
213. “Don’t say you love me.”
214. “Don’t you ever do that again.”
215. “Everyone deserves a second chance.”
216. “I try so hard to forget you, but every single time it comes back to you.”
217. “H-How long have you been standing there?”
218. “Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”
219. “I didn’t ask for any of this! But do you know what I put up with it all? Because I love you!”
220. “I just need you here with me right now.”
221. “I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you and- Oh screw it!”
222. “We can’t lose each other, we just can’t.”
223. “I’ve never felt this way before and I’m terrified to be honest.”
224. “I never meant for anyone to get hurt.”
225. “I waited and waited, but you never came back!”
226. “I’m sick of feeling useless!”
227. “Is that what you call an apology?”
228. “Is there anything you want to tell me?”
229. “Somebody’s in love!”
230. “It’s not what it looks like.”
231. “Just hold me.”
232. “You’re the best part of me.”
233. “I don’t want to think about what I’d be like without you.”
234. “Can I hold your hand?”
235. “Let’s go get lost somewhere.”
236. “I just don’t know how to look forward anymore.”

A month of AUs - June 3

A/B/O verse Hanzo discovers he’s pregnant and worries about his ability to be a decent parent.

(Heads up, there may be a number of days in the A/B/O verse or variations of it, because while I CAN come up with 30 distinct AUs… I do not necessarily feel like writing a scene for all 30 of those distinct AUs)

Staring down at the stick in his hand, Hanzo feels like the air has escaped his lungs. It takes him a moment to remember how to breathe, his hand falling to the bathroom counter to keep him upright.

He thought he’d been prepared for this possibility. As soon as he’d recognized the symptoms he’d considered all avenues. Pregnancy… pregnancy was not the worst possible thing anymore. He wasn’t on the run. He wasn’t being hunted. He even had a mate. He’d lived with Overwatch for three years now, been with Jesse McCree for the past two years. Overwatch had returned to being a legal entity not long after he joined, and the protection that came with it made life almost easy.

He thought he’d be okay with the possibility of being pregnant.

He wasn’t.

He doesn’t realize he’s sobbing until a knock on the door pulls him from his thoughts.

“Darling? You okay in there?”

He’d nearly forgotten McCree was waiting in their room. For a second, Hanzo considers not saying anything. Then he looks at the window and contemplates escaping to the roof.

Eventually, he stands and opens the bathroom door.

McCree is standing there with his hand still poised to knock. He takes in Hanzo’s appearance before noticing the red tint to his eyes. “Oh, Hanners…”

Hanzo falls into his arms before he can say anything else, not crying, but refusing to look up at his husband’s face. “It’s positive. I’m-. We, are having a child.” He can feel the stutter in McCree’s chest as he inhales, and his grip around Hanzo tightens.

“You mean it, babe?”

Hanzo can’t speak. He only nods, holding back another sob now at the guilt from how excited McCree sounds. Of course he would be happy. McCree had brought up his wish for children so many times since they had begun their relationship. He had never pushed, never asked for them to settle down, but Hanzo had known anyway.

With a gentle kiss to the top of Hanzo’s head, McCree leads him over to the bed, pulling the smaller man down onto his lap, arms curled around each other.

“So what’s the plan then?”

“Hm?” Hanzo asks, still refusing to look any higher than McCree’s chest. “I suppose we will have to see Dr. Ziegler to schedule appointments. See Commander Amari about-… about my pregnancy leave.”

“We don’t have to-”

Hanzo ignores the interruption, pulling away slightly as McCree’s closeness begins to feel like it is suffocating him. “I must inform Genji, see if he can steal our tombs from Hanamura to ensure our child bonds with his dragon without incident. I will of course be unable to go. I will be unable to train as well. Commander Amari will need to find another sniper, leaving our teams vulnerable-”

McCree does the only thing he can think of to stop Hanzo’s rant before he begins to panic. He puts his hand over Hanzo’s chin and forces him to look up. “Han. It’s okay. I need you to breathe.”

He does, heart racing and head feeling faint as if he hadn’t been breathing at all this entire time. “Jesse…”

“You’re panicking, darling. Wanna tell me why?”

“No…”

“Let me rephrase that. Tell me why.”

It’s not really an order. If Hanzo did not want to discuss it, he could remain silent. But phrasing it as an order gave him an out. Gave him the opportunity to talk frankly and not feel as if he were being weak by wanting to share his fears. So he puts his hand on McCree’s shirt, playing with a button as he gathers his strength.

“I do not believe I should be a parent.”

McCree tenses at the admission. “And why’s that?”

There are so many reasons. And he lists them all. His mother and father were terrible examples. The elders were hardly the basis for a good family dynamic. He doesn’t know the first thing about children. He grew up thinking murder was a part of life. He tried to kill his own brother as adults. Oh, and that one time when he and Genji were small, when Genji came down with a flu and Hanzo thought he was faking and pushed him out into the snow.

He began his training when he was still a child, barely old enough to consider attending school. Would he be a bad parent for not wanting their child to train as diligently? Wouldn’t that just be setting them up to be hurt or killed, unable to defend themselves?

And what about school and education? Discipline? Could he stop himself from raising his hand against his child if they acted out? Should he do that? He read that it was wrong. And he was terrible with his words. What if his child grew up thinking his father hated him? What if-

“Darling, I had no idea you felt that way.”

Of course Jesse would cut him off from those thoughts just as Hanzo was beginning to have them. He was a good man.

“I did not know I would feel this way.” Hanzo admits after a long moment. “I thought I was prepared. I thought I would feel… excited? I am not sure.”

“Well, why did you think you’d be excited?”

For the first time, Hanzo placed his own hand on his stomach, considering the small group of cells that were growing there. Why had he wanted to try for a child with Jesse? “… I wanted a child with your eyes, your smile. I wanted to see a miniature version of you in my arms, with you smiling at us.”

He can feel Jesse’s smile against his hair before the other man speaks. “You know you ain’t the only one with fears, Han.”

Hanzo scoffs, but allows Jesse to continue.

“I ain’t even know who my dad was. And my ma died when I was just a kid. I don’t know the first thing about how a parent is supposed to be outside of movies and TV. Even when Fareeha was visiting the base, she was usually hanging with me and Reinhardt, not her mom. I remember Ana would keep her artwork and call her during missions, but I don’t remember much else. And you ain’t the only one with insecurities either. I have ta quit smoking right now if we’re going to do this. And recalibrate my arm so I don’t crush nothing when I get mad or distracted.”

Something in his words catches Hanzo off guard and he finally looks up at his husband. “I am not sure why I assumed you already knew all about child rearing, but I did.”

“I don’t even know how to change a diaper, honestly. Or where to buy them.” He makes a face and suddenly goes pale. “Oh my god. What do babies eat?”

“Jesse, I am sure I will be capable enough to feed our child.”

“Yeah, but what about when you’re on a mission? Do we just get formula or something?”

Hanzo falls silent.

It takes Jesse a moment to realize. “Han? Did I say something wrong?”

“No.” Hanzo assures him. “I just… I assumed that I would no longer be welcome on the team. Would I not be a liability?”

“Well, I ain’t goanna say I want you out there in danger, but that ain’t no different from when you go out on a job without me. I suppose it’ll be up to you and Mercy as to when you go on leave. And I guess I just assumed you’d be wanting to get back into things right away. I know ya don’t like being cooped up and I don’t mind staying behind sometimes. Long as you keep yourself safe.”

“It seems we have both assumed many things about each other.”

Jesse can’t hide his smile. “Seems like. So, how are ya feeling about all this now?”

Hanzo shrugs once, then gently raises his first to meet Jesse’s eyes. “I still have concerns over my ability as a parent but… perhaps, we can, as you say, figure things out on the way.”

Jesse grins. “And hey, worst case scenario, I’m sure the team would be more than happy to help us out.”

Hanzo hadn’t even considered asking their teammates for assistance, but he finds the idea warming. Their team is their family. Of course they’d help.

Hesitantly, Jesse slides his hand down to Hanzo’s belly, placing it over Hanzo’s own hand.

“So… this is really real.”

Gently, Hanzo entwines their fingers together.

“It is.”

alright, alright…I guess I’ll share my completely unsolicitied voltron/a:tla headcanons ((please feel free to add on to this if you want I would love it so much))

it’s long and detailed so I’ll spare your dash (I say to my four followers) and put it under the cut

BUT!!!! if you skip to the end there’s ember island stuff and I know u wanna see that so

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Affirmations to help build positive self talk<3
  1. All is always well. 
  2. I am confident and capable.
  3. I attract positive people in my life.
  4. I know who I am and I am enough.
  5. The positive energy around me is continuously expanding.
  6. I choose to be present and mindful right now.
  7. I am grateful for my miraculous life.
  8. I choose to think positive thoughts that serve me.
  9. I fulfill the promises I make to myself and others.
  10. I love sharing my happiness with everyone around me.
  11. I feel energetic and so alive.
  12. I am in control of the way I respond to the behavior of others.
  13. I have the will. I have the way.
  14. I am love, peace, hope, joy, truth and positive, radiant light!
  15. I forgive and release. I am filling my heart and mind with love.
  16. All of my needs are met. I thrive from where I am right now.
  17. I inhale positivity and exhale negativity.
  18. I fuel my body with health and activity.
  19. I am talented, creative and successful.
  20. Like the waves of an ocean, peace washes over me; cleansing and rejuvenating my spirit.
  21. I choose to reach for a better feeling.
  22. I grow stronger every day.
  23. I speak kindly to myself and others. 
  24. My life is unfolding perfectly.
  25. I choose to see everyone as an opportunity and search for solutions.
4

FILMS WATCHED IN 2017 → The Lego Movie (2014) dir. Phil Lord & Christopher Miller.
You don’t have to be the bad guy. You are the most talented, most interesting, and most extraordinary person in the universe. And you are capable of amazing things. Because you are the Special. And so am I. And so is everyone. The prophecy is made up, but it’s also true. It’s about all of us. Right now, it’s about you. And you… still… can change everything.

Ask box is open!!!!

1. “Why are we at a strip club?”
2. “I’m sorry, you said what to your teacher?”
3. “Am I dead?”
4. “It’s always been you. You and only you.”
5. “If you loved me, you’d fight for it. If you loved me, you’d show it. If you loved me, you’d fight for me. Do you even know what love is?”
6. “Stay with me.”
7. “How about we put the gun down and talk about this?”
8. “I came here to kick ass and chew gum.. and I’m all out of gum.”
9. “Whatever it is I didn’t do it.”
10. “Don’t make me regret saving you.”
11. “Are you-are you flirting with me?”
12. “I’m proud of you. I’m proud of us.”
13. “I trusted you.”
14. “Am I supposed to be impressed?”
15. “Don’t tempt me.”
16. “I’m going to kiss you now.”
17. “Is that my shirt?”
18. “Would you quit moving around?” “It’s not my fault we’re tied up together!”
19. “Does your life revolve around embarrassing me?”
20. “I can’t do this anymore.”
21. “Do you smell burning?”
22. “Look at the sky.”
23. “I didn’t know you could do that.”
24. “I will not hesitate to murder you.”
25. “It’s simple really. Here let me show you.”
26. “I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.”
27. “Hey have you seen my- Oh.”
28. “Go to hell.” “Already been but thanks for the invite.”
29. “Look at me.”
30. “Go away! I don’t ever want to see you again!”
31. “Don’t tell me how to calm down, you calm down!”
32. “Where did you get that?”
33. “Oh my gosh is that blood?”
34. “What are you doing here by yourself?”
35. “Here, take my hand. Everything is fine, just hold onto me and keep moving.”
36. “I don’t know who I am without you.”
37. “You don’t need to protect me.”
38. “Stop looking at me like that!”
39. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”
40. “All I wanted was the truth.”
41. “I had a nightmare about you, and I wanted to make sure you were alright.”
42. “You make me feel like I’m not good enough.”
43. “I told you not to fall in love with me.”
44. “I forgive a lot, but I never forget what was said and done.”
45. “Again?”
46. “Please shut up. Just shut up.”
47. “I’m tired of being your secret.”
48. “You know, it’s okay to cry.”
49. “Go on, tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.”
50. “I just want to be alone right now.”
51. “Those things you said yesterday.. did you really mean them?”
52. “Just say it is okay. I just need to hear you say that.”
53. “I love you and I am terrified.”
54. “Promise me you’ll come back.. I need you to promise me.”
55. “That’s distracting.”
56. “I think I picked up your coffee by mistake.”
57. “Wait a second.. are you jealous?”
58. “This is by far the most stupid plan you’ve ever created. Of course I’m in.”
59. “You did this for me?”
60. “I’m afraid this conversation is going to end in goodbye.”
61. “Would you just hold still?”
62. “We’re running low on time here.”
63. “You’ve got something on your cheek.”
64. “I’m not bothering you, am I?”
65. “Really, right now?”
66. “Wait, you’re my soulmate?”
67. “I really wish you told me your mother was in town.”
68. “You’re wrong and I’ll prove it.”
69. “I can never say no to a picnic.”
70. “I could tell it was your favorite book from all the notes you wrote in the margins.”
71. “I never imagined myself in a wedding dress.”
72. “I’m yours, in every way possible.”
73. “We’re not just friends, and you know it.”
74. “Well. Yell, scream, say something, anything.”
75. “Where do you think you’re going?”
76. “Nobody thinks what I think.”
77. “Despite what you think, I am completely capable of taking care of myself.”
78. “Just please be my best friend right now, and not the person I confessed my love to.”
79. “I think you’re just afraid to be happy.”
80. “Make me.”
81. “Well if you insist.”
82. “We’ll get through this, I promise.”
83. “I can’t believe you don’t like Disney movies.”
84. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
85. “Sometimes I really dislike you.”
86. “You’re getting crumbs all over my bed.”
87. “It’s too early for this.”
88. “But then I’d have to put pants on..”
89. “If my parents knew what I was doing they’d kill me.”
90. “Are you trying to make me to hate you? Because it’s working.”
91. “Don’t open those till later!”
92. “For some reason I’m attracted to you.”
93. “To be honest I could care less.”
94. “Go on then, tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.”
95. “Hold my hand, we have to make this look convincing!”
96. “I’ll make it right for you.”
97. “When you smile I fall apart.”
98. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
99. “I really don’t know why I’m crying.”
100. “I won’t let you fall.”
101. “I’m like 20% sure this plan work. There’s an 80% chance we could die horribly and violently, but this plan is solid, I swear.”
102. “I’m not happy here.”
103. “I’m so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend.”
104. “I’m tired of being your secret.”
105. “Well if you’re up for the challenge.”
106. “I’ve moved on.”
107. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you don’t think I can see you.”
108. “If I die, I am coming back to haunt you.”
109. “If you don’t want to talk about it then say so. Don’t lie and pretend to be fine when you clearly aren’t.”
110. “If you walk out that door don’t you dare think about coming back.”
111. “Is that a challenge?”
112. “Is it supposed to look like that? Are you sure?”
113. “I made you cupcakes cause I knew you liked them.”
114. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
115. “I mean, it could be worse.”
116. “This wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”
117. “This was all a dream?”
118. “It’s not what it looks like.”
119. “It’s okay I’m here for you.”
120. “Wait, you did what again?”
121. “Just talk to me.”
122. “Just leave me alone!”
123. “Let him go! It’s me who you want!”
124. “My parents asked about you again.”
125. “Make a wish.”
126. “None of this makes sense.”
127. “None of that matters anymore.”
128. “Wait this is your handwriting? I thought this was hieroglyphics.”
129. “Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you.”
130. “Oh my god! You’re in love with her!”
131. “Please don’t give up on me.”
132. “Please listen to me.”
133. “Please don’t go.”
134. “Please.. I love you.”
135. “Please, take me instead!”
136. “Please don’t leave me.”
137. “Please don’t argue with me.”
138. “Promise me you’ll take care of her/him.”
139. “Promise me you’ll take better care of yourself.”
140. “Promise me you’ll stay.”
141. “Why are you taking so many photos?”
142. “I didn’t know you could play.”
143. “You can sing?”
144. “Teach me how to play?”
145. “Are you okay?” “Why do you ask?” “Because you’re wearing two different shoes.”
146. “Want to talk about it?”
147. “I just really miss talking with you.”
148. “Things don’t always turn out the way we want them to.”
149. “This isn’t just about you. It’s about what’s best for all of us.”
150. “You made me what?”
151. “Times up!”
152. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
153. “We could’ve had it all.”
154. “Are you sure you two aren’t married?”
155. “Well.. don’t keep me waiting.”
156. “Please look at me.”
157. “What have I ever done to you?”
158. “What are you doing here?”
159. “When are you going to realize I don’t care?”
160. “When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people stop to roll their eyes or call you crazy.. even then. Especially then!”
161. “Where did that cat come from?”
162. “Where did you get this from?”
163. “Why are you up so early?”
164. “Why can’t they see they’re meant for each another?”
165. “Why did you choose me?”
166. “Why don’t you say it to my face?”
167. “Why couldn’t you come to me with your problems?”
168. “Would you stop for a second so I can say something to you for once!”
169. “You need to calm down.”
170. “I know you told me to stop thinking about you, but I can’t get you out of my mind.”
171. “You are nothing like them.”
172. “You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me.”
173. “I never believed in love till I met you.”
174. “I don’t need a Prince Charming saving me.”
175. “You can’t sit on the sidelines your entire life!”
176. “You deserve so much better.”
177. “You did all of this for me?”
178. “You take my love for granted.”
179. “You haven’t even touched your food.. what’s going on?”
180. “You know my name?”
181. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this on my own.”
182. “Stay the night. Please.”
183. “What did you say?”
184. “Why are you so annoying?”
185. “Don’t ask me that.”
186. “Don’t ever mention that again.”
187. “What’s with the box?”
188. “Say it!”
189. “Stop pinning this on me! You started it!”
190. “Did you do this on purpose?”
191. “Don’t give me that look! You started it!”
192. “It’s not fair!”
193. “I could kill you right now!”
194. “Don’t you dare give me that look!”
195. “Screw you!”
196. “Just shut up already.”
197. “You are so infuriating.
198. “Listen to me!”
199. “I dare you!”
200. “Please pretend to be my girlfriend/boyfriend.”
201. “You think I’m insensible enough to fall for that?”
202. “I’m not going to apologize. I can’t anymore.”
203. “Is this seat taken?”
204. “It’s midnight, what do you want?”
205. “You are strangely comfortable.”
206. “Imagine if it could always be this way, even in the city.”
207. “I don’t know how to feel any more.”
208. “At what point did you think that was a good idea?”
209. “Just marry me already.”
210. “Did I stutter?”
211. “Did I just say that out loud?”
212. “Did you hear that.”
213. “Don’t say you love me.”
214. “Don’t you ever do that again.”
215. “Everyone deserves a second chance.”
216. “I try so hard to forget you, but every single time it comes back to you.”
217. “H-How long have you been standing there?”
218. “Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”
219. “I didn’t ask for any of this! But do you know what I put up with it all? Because I love you!”
220. “I just need you here with me right now.”
221. “I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you and- Oh screw it!”
222. “We can’t lose each other, we just can’t.”
223. “I’ve never felt this way before and I’m terrified to be honest.”
224. “I never meant for anyone to get hurt.”
225. “I waited and waited, but you never came back!”
226. “I’m sick of feeling useless!”
227. “Is that what you call an apology?”
228. “Is there anything you want to tell me?”
229. “Somebody’s in love!”
230. “It’s not what it looks like.”
231. “Just hold me.”
232. “You’re the best part of me.”
233. “I don’t want to think about what I’d be like without you.”
234. “Can I hold your hand?”
235. “Let’s go get lost somewhere.”
236. “I just don’t know how to look forward anymore.”

9

ODIN-as-ONE EYE in Valhalla Rising (2009) as given form by Mads Mikkelsen

Just in case people didn’t believe me that the Terrible One is in this film, right down to the semiotics, I took a few bloody screenshots.

I have added some facetious but mostly true  (to the personality/vibe I personally get from the Old Man) captions which I shall reproduce here.

1. Yes. By all means fetter me. I can wait.

2. Right. That’s that built. Tricky to do. Give it a moment to check what I’ve set up turns out OK.

3. I have one eye and I can still see more than you.

4. You’re dead. You just don’t know it yet. Shit just Became Fundamentally Real aka I made my move half an hour ago, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

5. Why yes, my good eye does blaze like the sun. So does the other one, and that’s down a well. Don’t worry about it - it’s all fine.

6. You really have no idea who I am and what I’m capable of, do you? akathe I know something you don’t know and I’m not going to say a word smile/smirk/look.

7. Built the worlds. Now going to return to the Ancestral Sea of Soul because I died and it didn’t bother me and I learnt what I needed to.

8.  I am indeed your Soul-stirrer, dweller in the Ancestral Dreaming Sea.aka You can’t get rid of me because I’m in your blood and bone and breath. Death is only the beginning.

9.  I am also part of the Mountain which reaches beyond the sky. Sky or Sea, I am at home in both. I am at home nowhere, and everywhere you look.

Note: I only just realised there were nine screenshots. I took about 13. The nine is not deliberate but make of that what you will!

Comforting Connor HC

About how you comfort Connor when he’s having a rough time.

  • Connor definitely goes through the same emotional stages every time he has a bad day 
  • So first he meets unpleasant situations with anger
  •  Like if something goes wrong or happens badly he’ll immediately react by being pissed 
  • “I can’t believe my teacher gave me a bad grade. This is complete bullshit! I’m going to get her fired!!” and “Everyone forgot my birthday except for you! That’s such an asshole move on their part. I’m going to scream!" 
  • And at that point you just nod your head and make sure he doesn’t do anything dangerous 

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Across the Divide

TITLE: Across The Divide

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter Twenty Four 

AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki sneaking out of the palace as a youth to see the city and countryside, while out one day, he accidentally gets in trouble for something, but a young girl deals with the situation, allowing him to be left alone and his true identity be kept secret. She is a poor girl who is only in the city to sell goods with her father, so she does not realise it is Loki, even though she sees his face. They form a friendship as she shows him around the city, and tells him the date she comes to the city every month for a particular market.

RATING: Teen and Up 


 Ariella sat looking at the tutor in front of her as though he had four heads, he was getting frustrated with her for her lack of knowledge at her age, meaning she was not learning anything. By the end of the lesson, she felt as though it was pointless, merely looking at the book she had in front of her caused her to become nauseous, she wanted nothing to do with it. Throwing it to the side after he left the room, she curled up in the bed, wondering why they had bothered.

‘The lesson did not go well, I assume.’ she turned to see Odin holding the book she had discarded in his hand, and glowered at it. ‘What happened?’

‘He said I was supposed to know it already. I said I never had any education and he dismissed it as nonsense and called me lazy.’ She stated sadly.

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