all humanity

theauraking  asked:

So it seems Clint and Steve both seem to be a bit lacking? Yeah lacking in intelligence. But who's done the dumbest thing since being thawed out

i am not even gonna consider this question, because if i start thinking through all the stupid nonsense clint and steve get up to i will hurl myself out a window purely in self defense. 

none of the avengers should ever spend time together. separately, theyre reckless to the point of idiocy; together, they fight crime. and cause massive amounts of property damage, and have reduced several psychologists to tears. it wasnt pretty.

but you know, fate of the world and all that nonsense. 

(to be fair to them, none of the avengers are stupid. they just get sucked into each others bad-decision vortexes)

in the interests of preserving that most blessed of coping methods, denial, i will only consider what steve and clint have gotten up to in the past two weeks. 

which still gives me a horrifying wealth of options.

dumbest thing steve has done? accepted clint’s challenge to a spicy-food-eating contest. captain triangle torso has enhanced senses. he takes his NORMAL food underseasoned, because his taste buds are extra-sensitive, and he took a spiciness challenge from clint, who spent his developmental years eating literally anything. last week i watched him pour pineapple juice into his hot chocolate. it was terrifying. i have seen clint drench jalapenos in ghost pepper sauce and eat them.  i have seen him put chocolate on pizza. there is nothing that man will not eat. 

nothing.

steve got one bite in to one of clint’s ghost pepper chicken wings and his whole face swelled up and turned red. he kept eating. his eyes and nose were running. he got three bites in and was leaking from his whole face. he looked like he was gonna die. he drank a gallon of milk and was in bed for over a day. his fancy supermojo can fight off toxins but not ghost peppers, apparently. he said it was the most painful thing he’d ever felt, the supersoldier easy bake experience included. 

clint finished his bucket of ghost pepper hot wings and played mario kart for three hours. which is what he usually does on wednesdays. 

dumbest thing clint has done lately? “borrowed” natashas favorite dagger set. her vengence was swift, brutal, and left clint sans eyebrows and with tony’s goatee drawn in sharpie, refreshed nightly for a week. talk about shame.

she is a ruthless woman.

as to which of these was stupider? i honestly cant say, and thinking about it makes me regret so many decisions. 

so many. when did my life become this nonsense

  • My Tolkien Professor: So do we have any favorite companions yet in the Fellowship?
  • Me: Boromir
  • Student: But he's corrupted--
  • Me: Exactly, he's the only relatable one
  • Me: If I was given the one-ring
  • Me: I'd want to pick a fight with Sauron too
  • Student: I'd like to think I'd give up the one ring
  • Me: PFFF NONE OF US WOULD
  • Me: WE ARE ALL BOROMIR
Horizon: Zero Dawn, Please Platonically Marry Me

(&:) We’re breaking our long repost/shitpost/unnecessary comment tradition for the sake of the most awesome game we’ve seen in a long, long time. ChristopherOdd’s LP of Horizon: Zero Dawn just ended today and we’ve been licking the bottom of the barrel to try and find new things to watch because the emptiness in our souls is real and profound. This game is so fucking good. It would be pointless to try and list off all the ways in which it is so, so good. If you can get your hands on it, it’s amazing. If you’re broke like us and just like watching vids while eating, COdd’s LP is quite pleasant. (His work is generally a restful breath of fresh air compared to most other LPers I’ve watched.) OMG, it HURTS, how good this game was. It is so overwhelmingly good, all the damn time.

Do you know what one of the most unexpected and wonderful parts of the plot was? NO ROMANTIC SUBPLOT. AT ALL. NOT EVEN THE OPTION TO START ONE. The main character is just an incredibly skilled, attractive, 19-year-old woman who has WAY TOO MANY IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO TO BOTHER WITH THAT RIGHT NOW, AND IT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I HAVE SEEN A MAINSTREAM PLOT DO IN AGES.

THAT DUDE: Gosh, thanks for saving my life, Aloy. You’re amazing. I made special armor just for you. I worked really hard. *___*
ALOY: Wow, nice. Good craftsmanship. Thank you.

THAT OTHER GUY: You are such a mighty warrior that you might even be a mightier warrior than my mom. I am constantly stunned by your badassery. You’re even favored by the local deity. Please allow me to follow faithfully wherever you lead. *_____*
ALOY: Sounds good. How about you manage our defenses out yonder. I’ll be counting on you in that one battle.

THAT SUBPLOT GUY?: Girl, I have never seen anybody who looks as good splashed down in the blood of evildoers as you do. We should partner up together and spend our lives happily taking out human trash all over the world. Also, I look fucking scrumptious in this armor. ;D ;D ;D
ALOY: Wow, you’re kind of creepy and sociopathic. I hope I never have to see you again.

OTHER OTHER GUY: I may be a bumbler with motivational issues, but I have a heart of gold and a lot of enthusiasm! Thanks to your guidance, I’m turning my life around and growing to become a better, more effective human being! How are you amazing like how my sister was amazing?? *______*
ALOY: Good for you. I have faith in your ability to do well from now on.

THAT TOTAL BABE: Allow me to openly hit on you, you super cutie.
ALOY: Allow me to not acknowledge that because I have to fix a civil war and kill robot dinosaurs.
THAT TOTAL BABE: My, I love how you get things done. If I come through here again, I’ll have to Thank You Appropriately~~~
ALOY: *pulls out to-do list and starts plotting map coordinates*

ACTUAL KING OF THE CIVILIZED WORLD: I know my love interest was horribly murdered, but you’ve supported me through my time of trials and I wonder if we could work toward more intimacy.
ALOY: Gee, if you really loved your love interest, perhaps you shouldn’t instantly rebound hard enough to get whiplash.
ACTUAL KING OF THE CIVILIZED WORLD: Damn, you’re absolutely right.
(much later)
ACTUAL KING OF THE CIVILIZED WORLD: Hey, I apologize for hitting on you before. That was really unclassy of me.
ALOY: We’re cool. Just don’t let it happen again.

EVIL SPARTAN VOICED BY CRISPIN FUCKING FREEMAN: HRRRGHH I HATE THIS WOMAN IN THE DEPTHS OF MY BEING AND YET SHE IS SO POWERFUL AND MAGNIFICENT THAT I MUST BECOME OBSESSED WITH SNARING HER AND FANTASIZE ABOUT HOW WE ARE DESTINED TO DESTROY EACH OTHER HRRRGH RRGGGHH
ALOY: You’re being an obstacle, you inadequate scrub. *stab*

CUTE ENGINEER: Your tech-savviness is painfully charming. I am dazzled despite myself.
ALOY: Your enormous weapon is great for killing all kinds of things. Really nice work!
CUTE ENGINEER: I may be a fiercely independent isolationist, but please come back and see me lots.
ALOY: Probably not. Got stuff to do.
CUTE ENGINEER: Well, don’t mind me if I accidentally turn up to fight and possibly die for you at that one big battle. *_____*
ALOY: Reinforcements are always appreciated!

I don’t know if this might be called a canon asexual character. I think you could spin it that way if you wanted to, but I also think that a character shouldn’t have to be asexual in order to just have rational priorities and to thus understandably rate flirting/romance/hookups as really low on the list compared to genocide and world-ending. I really, really like both explanations. I LOVE the lack of an obligatory romance. I EXTRA LOVE how they deliberately included all those characters who crush so hard on Aloy so that she can be completely unconcerned about their dokidoki. I FUCKING ADORE THIS GAME TO PIECES. NUMBER ONE NON-ANIME WAIFU. WILL NOT PRINT ON A DAKIMAKURA COVER BECAUSE I RESPECT ITS UNIQUE INTERESTS AND LIFE AMBITIONS. MY HEART~~~~~ TTT_____TTT

The Jenkinsverse pointed out something in the Humans Are Weird discussion.

Ethnicities.

Earth has a wide range of temperatures on its surface, ranging from way-too-friggin-cold to hot-as-balls. We’ve got huge variation in environments, from jungle to mountains to plains to coast to desert to forest to hills. 

Maybe most aliens even on a really tame planet, wait until their culture is advanced enough to explore the rest of their planet. However, because early humans were too damn stubborn to wait, we colonised most of the world before we’d even developed bronze. Which meant populations all across the planet in all these different places were shaped by massively different settings.

There’s so many different cultures and languages that developed because Earth is this huge clusterfuck of different biomes and because humans are stubborn little shits.

Imagine aliens being amazed that humans started out in Africa, a place so damn hot early humans were all dark-skinned so they wouldn’t get cooked, which is, let’s face it, a seriously metal bit of evolution. 

Then the aliens find that we spread across every other place, and formed our own identities, and drew lines on the world, and kicked the shit out of each other when someone crossed our lines, but at the same time our histories and music and legends, our cooking and art and architecture, our clothing and languages and technology, all started to mix together in so many weird and wonderful ways.

fudobm  asked:

Why faris are rude with humans ?

He was species-ist, if that even is a word xD;

He hated humans after what happened in the past. The young human who took the throne after his father died of an unusual illness, blamed monsterkind for not healing him and claimed that they purposely made his father die, and so declared war against them. The monsters who were close friends with the formal human ruler did everything they could to heal him, but their magic seemed to do nothing.

Faris watched a lot of monsters die in battle, including his family. He was furious. The monsters did not deserve death. They offered food, shelter, and magic to the humans when they settled on their land, and this young human was going to wipe monsterkind out and take everything that was theirs.

He’s settled down some after some time of being revived, but he still doesn’t trust all humans.

The biggest difference between Islam and Christianity

The basic theology of Christianity and Islam differs greatly.  For Christianity the belief is that God is holy, just, true and forgiving. To gain acceptance by God sinful man accepts salvation as a free gift from God by accepting Jesus Christ as a perfect sacrifice for the individual’s sins. Those who do so receive forgiveness of sins and eternal life. Christians also believe that it is their obligation to demonstrate their love of God and from God by exhibiting His love to the world. The Bible is the basis for this belief and is the guide to life through Christ. The primary teaching guiding us through life are referred to as the greatest commandments - to love God with all your heart and love others and we are to openly demonstrate this love to all of humanity regardless of creed, color, belief or gender. Many people have chosen this path and as a result the world is much better off. The largest provider of education, help for orphans and widows, feeding the poor, caring for the sick and helping those in distress is the Christian church. To be a part of this kind of religion would be considered to be a wise choice.

Islam on the other hand has five basic tenets - 1) Shahada: “There is no God but Allah and Muhammad is His prophet. 2) Salat: Prayer. Five times a day. 3) Zakat: Giving charity. 4) Sawm: Fasting and 5) Hajj: Pilgrimage to Mecca. It all seems fine at this point and has little influence on the world as stated, however this is not the end of the story. The holy book of Islam is the Koran and it differs from the message of love you find in the Bible significantly. For instance, you will find 109 verses that call Muslims to war with nonbelievers for the sake of Islamic rule. Some of the verses are quite graphic, with orders to chop off heads and fingers and kill infidels wherever they may be hiding. Muslims who do not join the fight are “hypocrites” and warned that Allah will send them to Hell if they do not join the slaughter. Also, the verses of violence in the Koran can be interpreted to be for today and not limited to a specific time in history, like Judaism. The words of the Koran in many Muslims’ minds are just as relevant today as they were when they were written. The Hadith is also a holy text and it validates the Koran’s deadly instructions to the believer. To choose such a faith is dangerous for all of mankind and it is not a wise choice in the least.

some concept art for an OC I made back in 2015 i wanted to share w you guys =7=

I don’t have a lot written for him but his name is Shogeru. He was a demon cursed to live among humans after robbing the estate of a powerful sorceress. 

  • He has a feti$$$h for cash moneys but can’t manage it whatsoever. 
  • usually seen wearing sunglasses. even indoors and at night. 
  • floats from part time jobs but doesn’t quite know how to use a cell phone or computer. he will smash it if it pisses him off. he has to look for work frequently bc of his temper ;v;
  • always ends up penniless and sad the day after pay day
  • Easily impressed by almost all things human
  • can usually be found inside the local casino. typically very drunk and blowing all his cash
  • hates children and small dogs
  • can sleep anywhere in the most odd postions
  • also don’t ever sneak up on him before he’s showered/brushed his hair. you will regret it
comicbook.com
Aquaman Concept Art Teases Ancient King, Atlanteans On Sharks
The Warner Bros. panel at CinemaCon promised to be electrifying, and the studio hasn't disappointed...

After a the DC logo appeared on the screen, Jason Momoa took the stage and said, “I’m here for Justice League which is kind of the greatest movie in the world. I’m leaving literally tonight to go to Australia to shoot Aquaman. I have an amazing James Wan, who I’m excited to get down there be with him.”

Wan put together some concepts for the film to share with the crowd. The first shot showed underwater crafts, surrounded by fish.

“It’s not until the ships get so close to you that you realize they’re not ships at all. It’s a human riding a shark or some octopus creature,“ Wan said.

Atlanteans riding sharks are shown in concept art. Next, Atlantis is picutred with a huge bridge and gates with golden statues flashes by.

Wan stated, "In a lot of ways, this is an origin story, so I want the audience to experience Atlantis the first time Aquaman experiences it as well.”

anonymous asked:

Is that story of the dude in Indonesia being eaten by a python legit? I thought even the largest snakes can't eat an adult human.

I don’t know the specifics of the story, but it’s statistically likely to be false. Though a young or small human could be eaten by some of the larger species of python, its very rare and pythons like most animals tend to avoid people, not see them as food (people are major predators after all)

Human’s wide shoulders make us hard to swallow as well, so while a snake may successfully kill you it’s pretty difficult for it to eat you.

Unless it’s coming from a reliable source, I’d tentatively dump it in the “probably fake” pile. Technically possible but not very likely.

anonymous asked:

This??? This is why im a fat activist and not just "body positive". Shitspo takes over and puts healthist crap into everything positive and turns it vile from the inside. "Body positive" used to mean 'respect all human body shapes and sizes' but i guess we forgot what shitspo qualifies as a 'human' deserving of basic respect.......

Exactly anon. This is why I don’t call myself body positive anymore.

-Mod Bella

zombies are the most common scary creatures in my nightmares and somehow they’re always the type that can’t see well in daylight but will hunt your ass down at night if you turn on the lights in your house or something, and i think that’s kinda rad actually? i hate when zombies in movies just ignore all obvious signs of human activity unless you’re like, right in front of them. it’s much spookier when they try to find you.

I made another country sans
She’s Pompeii or pomii for short.

The red across her left eye is a scar and on the right the color is dripping.
Her dress is made to look like a volcano due to the volcano that destroyed ALL human life on pompeii when is erupted. She has fingerless gloves and her shoes are black with the pompeii flag on the front!

Contry!tale @trashy-artzy-me

highest-quality-of-17trash  asked:

drabble : cat boy! jeonghan + strawberries

I think this is the cat boy Jeonghan you wished for? Hope you like it & thanks for requesting! x

Word count: 745


There was this boy named Yoon Jeonghan in your lectures who caught the attention of all students, including the professors. Not because he had good looks or good grades or had a habit of bringing a bowl of good strawberries to every lecture for himself but,

Because he wore a cat-ear headband.

No one knew to why he wore them, but if it was to get attention, he did a pretty weird job. Did he have a fixation for cats? Did he have a cat who he mourned for? Or was he secretly a cat, in a form of a human? All these questions unanswered.

He had been doing this since school started and it earned him the nickname ‘The Strawberry Cat Boy’.

Or that’s what you called him.

And what about you? You couldn’t bear yourself for staring at him. You loved cats, and strawberries. But Jeonghan too? Your friend had to hit you with a book to get you out of your senses. 

“You’re staring at him again, Y/N.”

“He stands out a lot, doesn’t he?”

You nodded, still looking at Jeonghan, who was putting his things in the locker. Your friend sighed, “He likes cats and strawberries, of course he’ll stand out, Y/N.”

“Don’t forget the cat ears.”

“And the cat ears.”


The bell rang, it was your next class. Your professor entered the lecture hall, and a two-hour lecture began. Truthfully, your course was creative writing and so the classes were, well, not that boring. 

Two hours passed and everyone was set to leave in a hurry when your professor stopped the commotion. 

“Alright settle down. Spring break’s in a month and you will do your project with the person who has the closest grade with you. Boy and girl pairings. Topic is ‘feelings’ and I’ll message you about your topic. Then you may leave afterwards. Questions? Okay. Let’s start.”

One by one the professor called out students to be paired up. He shook two last sheets of paper when he called out, “Last pair, Jeonghan and Y/N, please.”

You froze on your seat. You got paired up with Jeonghan.

“Hey we’re up. Or else you wanna change partners?” Jeonghan walked passed you, hitting you gently with a roll of paper.

“No. I- I don’t want to change partners.” you said with a nervous voice, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

“Good.” he turned to you, “Because I don’t want to change my partner as well.” he handed you a piece of paper. “Shall we start?”

“Already?”

“Well duh. To get this over with.” he smiled. “It’s spring break soon.”


Jeonghan was so wrong that day. The topic was about feelings but you two couldn’t come up with something you both agreed on. You would suggest this, he would suggest that. You both were completely contrasting each other. It wasn’t over.

You had been going to his house everyday for the past two weeks. And gotten close, like best friend-close. His house was fancy but what shocked you was that he had cats, on everything. Not pet cats, but a cat collection. He even gave you a pair of cat ears.

“Jeonghan, we’re not going anywhere. Can we at least discuss our project?” you took off your reading glasses.

“Alright fine.” Jeonghan sat up from his bed. “But first, pass me that bowl of strawberries, please.” he drank his water.

“You lazy, lazy cat.” you reach out for the strawberries he asked for. Jeonghan puffed out a splash of water which caused you to turn around. “Jeonghan?”

He was red as an apple and half-covered his face, but he was holding a chuckle. 

“Why are you laughing?” you asked with your eyes squinted.

“Are you wearing strawberry panties?” he laughed.

You blushed. “Wha- W-What are you looking at?” you gave him a playful slap on his arm.

He closed his eyes, still laughing from such a sight. “It was an accident. Sorry.”

“Right.” you shook your head as you opened your laptop. “Hey. Here’s a message from professor. About our topic for the project.” He scooched over next to you. “The topic is..”

“Love.” you both said in unison.

“Do you like it?” you asked.

He looked over to you and smiled, his face close to yours with intent eye contact.

“Yeah. Definitely.”

archiveofourown.org
The Rest of Our Lives

Fandom:
Seduce Me (Visual Novel)

Relationship:
Mika Anderson/Erik | Uzaeris

Characters:
Mika AndersonErik | Uzaeris (Seduce Me)Andrew (Seduce Me)Other Character Tags to Be Added

Additional Tags:
Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence Waitress!Mika AU where all the boys are human Erik is already CEO of his clothing store I don’t really care about Andrew so he’s just a side character sorry if this is bad i’m making this up as i write

Language:
English

Stats:
Words:359 Chapters:1/?

Summary:
Mika Anderson works at the finest french restaurant in Chicago (at least i think thats where Seduce me is set,,,), but its not enough to pay for her college tuition. then, she meets a very handsome and very rich CEO who offers a deal that she can’t refuse. Will she fall in love?


Ok so i wanted to write this bc i love the sugar daddy AU where they swear not to fall in love but do it anyways. Plus i rly love Erik soooo. Dunno if Mama Michaela ( @thebunnyofevil )will like this but here ya go. I swear chapters will be longer in the future i just cant rn with high school