i had a hyper realistic dream that there was a homestuck movie. all the characters were voiced by famous voice actors and it was very good. it was over five hours long and it premiered on cartoon network at 8 PM with a projected end time of 2 AM.
homestuck: this character is only on three panels, has no canon personality, is born into misery and frees himself from slavery only to have everything he loves torn from him, then is wired into a starship and used as a living battery for thousands upon thousands of years expanding the empire he was fighting against in the first place, and then dies unfulfilled and agonized as a result of the apocalypse
me, for some godforsaken reason: there he is, there’s the character i’m going to latch onto and write about until i die
in spirit of the omegapause, i bring to you another round of hunger games! i mean, what says “omegapause” better than everyone dying? exactly. let’s get started!
alright we’re starting out good so far look at the boys go
c o w a r d
well that’s an unlikely group
THE FIRST DEATHS AND TWO CINNAMON ROLLS ARE DOWN
well idk how useful you’re gonna be with a trident but okay
m o r e c o w a r d s
an unlikely showmance forms
hell yeah power duo i’m all for this
well i mean that was to be expected
rolal’s teamin’ with the end game enemy they’re supposed to fight okay what
*distant yaoi fangirl screeching*
WHAT THE FUCK EQUIUS
imagine the condy’s ghost stories omf
HOLY SHIT NEPETA
dirk was literally chasing him a minute ago what
lots of risky business goin’ down here hmmmmm
WOAH THERE GUYS
and here comes the death pile probably
okay everyone seems to be doing well so far
and here’s a smol checkup on the tributes with team scourge, both team strilondes, and team villain still standing strong
karkat and jane have the most kills, nice
condy finally turns on rose, as expected
GAMREZI PLS NO GET IT AWAY
what a great start to the day :’)
well they’re all fucked
HE ACTUALLY USED THE TRIDENT
i like that idea
the bad blood keeps getting worse between these two
yeah tavvy go kill someone with your trident B)
welp ((i laughed i’m sorry))
*FIRES HIS DEATH LASERS*
THAT’S YOUR MOTHER, DAVE
me af again
dirk just wants his trident tbh
team villain finally working together how sweet
and with that team scourge is dooooown
and here’s another smol checkup on our remaining tributes! team villain and one team strilonde are standing strong, while half of the other team strilonde was taken down and team scourge was wiped out completely
karkat, rose, dave, and jane have the most kills!
TAVVY WHEN I SAID KILL SOMEONE I DIDN’T MEAN HER
here comes the death probably
this must be some gourmet meat
she just keeps going
r.i.p to some cinnamon rolls ;-;
HELL YEAH ROSE LALONDE
i guess they forgave each other for the meat fight
LOL GET REKT
aaaaand here’s probably the final smol checkup on our remaining tributes. at this point there are no teams, only truces.
rose and dave have the most kills now, hell yeah!
i guess condy and rose are getting along again. also poor dirk lmao he’s all left out
egderp strikes again
rose got everyone to hunt down the condy oooo she still mad
r.i.p egderp ;-;
she spotted themmmm
THAT ESCALATED TO QUICKLY I CAN’T STOP LAUGHINGGG
DIRK AND ROSE ARE JUST CASUALLY PICKING THINGS AND THEN
r.i.p tavvy ;-; BUT THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST DEATH COME ON HAHAHAHAH
wait what don’t team on rose
AN UNEXPECTED TURN OF EVENTS
and here we have our winner!
aaaaand here are the placements!
even though dirk is in first, he shares the highest amount of kills victory with rose and dave B)
in my humble opinion the one character who was the least satisfying of all characters in homestuck was vriska serket.
not because she didn’t have enough spotlight, but because all of the spotlight amounted to like zero development and lacked any point whatsoever.
at least with gamzee, the lack of development can be pushed off on the fact that we never see him speak.
like no offense to people who find her super interesting but like she got all this coverage and all this buildup and all this attention and then she was like. just the same awful bully she was when this all started and nothing ever came of it.
I… I… I… what are words? How can I describe something so beautiful, so amazing, so unbelievably perfect in a couple of words besides just screaming incoherently and sobbing (I’ve been fanning my face for a good couple of minutes trying not to cry, like sheesh)? This is all I’ve wanted ever since we got a Game Over- to see the kids we’ve been following for years again. The kids who went through a very different experience from those in the Alpha timeline. The kids I loved with all of my heart; I still love the Alpha timeline kids, I do, but these are the kids we’ve known the longest, who we’ve watched grow and change into the people they were as they died. I needed to see them again, even if the next time I saw them was for the last time. And this upd8 gave it to me (though Karkat, Kanaya, Gamzee, and Dirk didn’t come back as they were practically vaporized/glitched out of existence ):), along with dead awake/dreamselves (THAT’S JUST TRAGIC, THINKING THEY WOULD COME BACK TO LIFE AND MERGE WITH THEIR OTHER SELF BUT THEY JUST DIE D:), (Vriska) and GO!TZ meeting up again happily (though they got vaporized at the very end D:<) and a great inside look into TZ’s mind (as well as her aspect in general… like as a Mind player myself this is just fascinating even though I’m a Mage). She felt like she was missing something, something important, and she was- the memories of GO!TZ. GO!TZ went through magnificent character development, even if it was negative, and TZ felt she went through little to none and depends on Vriska A LOT. Now she has all of these memories- whether they’re just her doomed selves memories or all the memories from all the doomed characters, I don’t know, but now she has the knowledge she needs to grow and move forward, and that’s all I ever want from a character- especially one I relate to, not only in the Alpha timeline but in the GO timeline as well. This was the PERFECT way to start off the Omegapause, and I think Terezi: Remem8er may be my favorite flash so far (BEAUTIFUL ART, BEAUTIFUL MUSIC, CAME OUT EARLY (like 5pm for me when it’s usually 6pm or 7pm), HOLY SHIT YES) until we get endgame flashes. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go eat my feelings because I’m about to cry from thinking about all of this (ESPECIALLY THE DEAD AWAKE/DREAMSELVES LIKE THAT JUST FUCKS ME UP SO MUCH) and I really don’t want to.