all hail the pizza

Signs as quotes from my friends and I
  • Aries: You can do whatever it is you do when I ignore you
  • Gemini: sell ur kidney to afford pizza
  • Cancer: Thanks! I hate it!
  • Leo: As long as you have no intentions of harming me in any way that might warrant a trip to the hospital or the morgue
  • Virgo: Hello my hotdog
  • Libra: You better diddly damn water your mouth there
  • Scorpio: I will kill you so fast you won't have time to say hi to god
  • Sagittarius: b u t t e r t h e e g g r o l l
  • Aquarius: i wanna make some toast in the bath
  • Pisces: shut the fuck up (name) you inconsiderate cunt
Not Just a One Night Stand || Shawn Mendes Smut *Explicit Image*


“Ugh,” I think to myself as I roll over to see who the hell is calling me at 7:13 in the morning.

“Dude, really?”

“Well good morning to you too, Miss Grumpy.”

“Julie, it’s 7:15 in the morning, oh and it’s Saturday. Why are you calling so early? You’re right down the hall, why didn’t you just come in my room?” I asked her still half asleep.

“I’m calling early because I just got to work, but I wanted to see if you wanted to go out tonight? Please say yes because I need to get drunk and dicked down, haha!”

“Okay, I know we are best friends, but there are just some things I don’t need to know about you. You needing to be dicked down is one of them, haha!”

“Oh please, you love me. And you should get laid tonight too, I mean how long has it been, like 3 months? Y/N, that’s kinda pathetic.”

“Um excuse me! How do you know how long it’s been for me?! And it is not pathetic. I’ve had plenty of opportunities, I just didn’t take them.”

“Okay, no. That crusty dude from the bar and the sketchy man from the club don’t count. If you slept with them, I’d personally check you into a mental hospital, but not after bathing you in bleach and getting you checked for AIDS.”

Even though I knew she was joking, I also knew she was serious. “Alright, what time do you want to go?”

“Well all the hot dudes get there at about 10:30, so I say we get an UBER at about 9:45. You know, club lines and shit.”

“Okay, sounds good. What time are you off?”

“Uhh, 4:15. I should be home by 5. I’ll pick something up for dinner. Is pizza cool?”

“Yeah, the just get the usual.”

“Always! Alright, I gotta go, but I’ll see you later. Catch some more ZZZ’s, Sleeping Beauty. Love ya!”

“Love you too. See you later.”

*9 ½ hours later*

I just finished setting mine and Julie’s plates down when she opened the door.

“I come bearing pizza!” she yelled as she came in.

“Hey, haha! I am starving!”

“Well lucky for you the Pizza Princess has arrived. So, you’re welcome.”

“All hail the Pizza Princess!” I said pretending to bow down to her.

“This is why I love you. You recognize me for the royalty that I actually am.”

“You’re a mess. Pass the pizza,” I said with a slight laugh. 

We ate our dinner as we got caught up on our favorite show, Roadies. We both showered and started to get ready for tonight. It was about 9:10 when we were ready to go.

“Julie, did you call the car or do you want me to?” I asked her as I started to zip up my thigh high boots.

“I’m calling now!” she yelled back to me from downstairs.


I finally got that annoying little zipper up on my boot and grabbed my purse to meet Julie downstairs.

“Holy shit! You look hot as fuck, Y/N!”

“Me?! You look so good! If no guy fucks you tonight, I will.”

“I’m counting on it, haha! You know we can’t let all this sexiness go to waste. I think this calls for hundreds of selfies and a long ass snapchat story!” she said as a matter of factly. We took picture after picture until our car got here. 

On the way, we blasted Drake, Rhianna, Queen Bey and a few more until the car pulled up to our destination. The line wasn’t horrible and we were let in about 30 minutes after we got there. Right as we walk in, I could feel the music coursing through my body and the bass making my heart thump louder.

“Wow, really?!” I heard Julie shout at me.

“What’s wrong?”

“We’ve been here .7 seconds and there is already some hot guy starring you down!”


“Over there! The tall, sexy brunette in that group of guys.” I looked at where she was pointing and she was right, he was starring right at me and he was a solid 10.

“I don’t now, Julie. I don’t usually do this kind of thing.”

“Which is why you should do this kind of thing! You look sexy as hell and he looks as if he’s ravishing you in his mind! Promise me that you will have fun tonight. Even if it’s not with that guy.”

“I promise!”

We hit the dance floor and the music felt so good through my body, but I was so hot.

“Julie! I’m going to get a drink!”


I wedged my through the mass of people on the dance floor to get to the bar. Before I can even place my drink order, the bartender places two tequila shots infront of me.

“Oh uh, I didn’t order these,” I yelled to him over the loud music.

“He knows that, I did. Thanks, Tom! You know, you looked really good out there.” I turn around and I’m met with the most beautiful brown eyes.

“And you are?”

“Shawn. What’s your name?”

“So wait, you buy a girl a drink and you don’t even know her name?”

“Trying something new. Still didn’t catch your name.”

“Y/N. That’s my name.”

“Nice to meet you, beautiful. So what brings you out tonight?”

“Just a girls’ night with my best friend. What about you?”

“It’s my friend’s birthday, so the guys and I are making sure he has a night to remember.”

“That’s nice,” I say as I down one of the shots.

“Wow! Not even a cheers. Or a thanks? Haha.”

“Thanks and cheers,” I say as I down the second shot. He looks at me wide eyed, but very impressed. For the next 15 minutes, we took shot after shot. I could hold my liquor and was really surprised that Shawn could too.

“Are you old enough to drink, Mr. Shawn?”

“Are you?”


“Let’s go dance, sexy.”

“You know, you’ve called me every name but my own.”He ignored me and  pulled me to the dance floor. 

We danced with our hands roaming all over each other’s bodies. I don’t know if it was the alcohol, Shawn or a mixture of both, but I was getting extremely turned on. I could tell he was too by the way his hands touched me and the quiet moans that left his perfect lips.

“You want to go somewhere?” He asked the words that I wanted to hear from him all night, but I can’t leave Julie.

“I really want to, but I can’t leave my best friend.”

“You know, I thought the same thing until I saw the birthday boy with your best friend.” As if on cue, Julie came over and told me that she was going to give Shawn’s friend Brian his special birthday present.

“Looks like I’m all yours,” I say as I turn back around to him

“That’s what I like to hear. My car is out back. We going back to your place?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “are you okay to drive?”

“I’m good. We can call someone, if you’re not comfortable.”

“No, I’m fine!”

We walk out of the club and head back to mine and Julie’s house. We couldn’t have gotten there at a more perfect time because with his hand on my thigh, squeezing and traveling upwards the whole car ride, I was ready to jump his bones on the highway.

I unlock the door and right when we step inside, I find myself pinned against the wall.

“Wow, you waste no time.”

“Shut up and kiss me,” he said with a smirk. I of course follow that order and connect my lips to his. He places my hand on his hard cock and I get the message. I take his hand and lead him to my bedroom. As we climbed the stairs, he slapped my ass and I let out a little squeal.

“Trust me, there’s more where that came from.”

We get to my room and clothes are flying. Standing in our underwear, I run one of my hands down his sculpted abs and the other grabs the back of his neck as I kiss him deeply. He grips just under my ass and I jump into his arms. He carries us to the bed and places me down. He disconnects our lips and looks down at my body. 

“Holy fuck,” he says as he runs his hands down the sides of my torso. In my opinion, he was taking too damn long, so I take matters into my own hands. I sit up and give him something to really drool over. I unclasp my bra and toss it somewhere in the room. He gropes my tits in such a strong manner, I could’ve cum right there. 

“Mmm, fuck,” I moan.

“I think that’s my line, baby girl.” I let out a little giggle as I watch him kiss his way to my throbbing heat. He peels down my panties and attaches his lips to my clit. I’m a moaning mess, his tongue is driving me insane. I didn’t think I could get more wet, that was until he inserted two fingers. I didn’t want to cum until he was inside of me, so I pull him up and kiss him, tasting my own juices.

I run my hands down his torso and pull off his Calvin Kleins. I lightly stroke his hard cock and he tilts his head back.

“I want to taste you,” I whisper into his ear.

“Fuck, baby. I won’t last. I need to be inside of you.”

“Then fuck me.”

He doesn’t think twice before hastily pushing into my pussy.

“Oh my god, fuck you’re so tight!”

“Uh, fuck. Please go harder.”

He immediately sped up his actions and pounded into me like I craved.

“Oh my god, fuck I’m almost there!” I alerted him.

“Cum on my cock, Y/N.” The way the bass in his voice and the actions of his skillful fingers on my clit shot through my body, I came almost instantly. I arched my back off the bed and held on to him for dear life as my orgasm made my body shake and my pussy clench around him even tighter. By the way he was moaning and sweating, I could tell he was close too. 

“Ugh, fuck I’m about to cum. You feel so fucking good around me.”

I sit up a little bit and find his sweet spot on his neck and kiss my way up to his ear.

“Cum for me, baby.” I know that worked because a second later he pulled out of me and came on my stomach with a string of curse words. No longer being able to hold himself up, he collapsed on top of me and breathed heavily in my ear.

“God damn, Y/N. What are you doing to me?” I giggled and stroked the back of his hair and kissed him on the cheek. He looked me in my eyes and I couldn’t get over how mesmerizing he looked. His face was flushed, he was sweaty and his eyes were still glossy as he came down from his high. 

He stayed on top of me for a few minutes until he got the strength to roll off of me. I excused myself to the bathroom and when I got in there, I looked at myself in the mirror. I didn’t even recognize myself. I was glowing and I could see my heart beating in the reflection. 

“What is this kid doing to me?” I walked out and saw that he was snoring softly. I climbed back in the bed and instinctively, he pulled me in his arms and kissed the side of my head.

“Are you awake?”

“Barely,” he said back half asleep. I kissed his chest and snuggled into him and drifted off to sleep.

*Early Next Morning*

“Hey, Y/N! Who’s car is that in the drive- oh!” Julie barged into my room and woke Shawn and I up. “Sorry! I didn’t know. I’m Julie, Y/N’s best friend and if you hurt her I’ll find you.”

“Goodbye Julie!” I said to her.

She threw me a wink and Shawn called out that it was nice to meet her.

“She seems like a great friend.”

“She is. Shawn, last night was amazing.”

“Oh my god, it really was. I don’t usually do this, but I really like you.”

“You’ve only known me for 9 hours,” I say with a slight smile.

“Fuck, I know, but there’s something here and I don’t know what it is.”

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel it too.”

“So what do we do?”

“Get to know each other. Maybe see where it leads,” I throw out there.

“I’d be honored to get to know you, Y/N.”

I blush like fucking crazy and gaze up at the ceiling.

“Hey, are you hungry?” he asks me.

“Yeah, did you have something in mind for breakfast?”

“Uh well, if I remember correctly, I recall you saying last night that you wanted to taste me. My morning wood might be an indication that I’m not declining some morning head from a beautiful girl,” he smirks at me. 

I smile at him and kiss him before going to work on this beautiful man.

lil Mikey blurb for @heymikeys and @complicashton’s valentine!5sos blurb night

Michael would def be the kind of guy to spend valentine’s day with you watching a movie -ofc it would be Deadpool, as if Michael would allow you to watch anything else lol- and he would bring two large pizzas and a few boxes of heart-shaped chocolate bc hell yeah chocolate also it was on sale along with a bunch of those meme valentine cards that say “you meme so much to me” and the doge ones like “such valentine, very love, much mine, so sex, wow” also let’s not forget “Kayne feel the love tonight” and “I don’t wanna be obama self” bc Michael is the meme king and he needs his spicy memes ‘ight so he’d probs buy a bunch of those bc they’re all too good. And still, it would a very fun and amazing Valentine bc what better combination than movie night w/ Mikey, pizza and chocolate ;)