all guy

anonymous asked:

Can you write more about the twinyards hatred for Arnold? It cured my depression I need more. Your writing is amazing


Neil had gone for an early morning run. 

That was exactly when the trouble began. Or returned, if you looked at it from a certain angle. 

It had been a colder morning, as the bitter grey skies that marked early December mornings hung low over the campus. Andrew had for a second tried to convince Neil not to be an idiot and to stay in bed, his hand loosely wrapping itself around Neil’s wrist, his expression a grumpy one as he poked his hand out of the blankets. “You’ll get sick,” Andrew had said, reminding him that Neil was prone to many things. Bad luck, poor computer skills and a delightfully terrible immune system. 

“I need to keep my times steady,” Neil told him, flicking a glance towards where Kevin slept, a tangled mess of blankets and three bottles of vodka. “You’ll be happier that I do.”

Neil had slipped out of the dorm room and Andrew had gone back to sleep, his back pressed to the chilly dorm wall. 


When the phone rang, he answered it. Andrew was more evolved than Neil was. More capable of answering a phone. 

“Hey, this is Andrew right?” came a voice decidedly not Neil’s. Andrew pressed his lips together tight, narrowing his eyes. Waiting. “Listen, he keeps demanding that I call you and that you need to be here now.”

“Who is this?” 


Arnold Mayes. Andrew could remembering that obnoxious voice, chattering to Neil about stupid stuff like global warming and starving children. “Why exactly do you have Neil’s cellphone?” 

“I accidentally hit him with my car-”


Aaron and Andrew went to the hospital together, equally scowling and with their arms crossed. “Josten,” one said to the nurse, irritation bleeding into their voice. 

“Mayes,” another said. 


“I’m fine.”

“He hit you.”

“It was dark.”

“You aren’t running alone again.”

“I’m fine.”

“You have three broken ribs and a fractured wrist.” 

“Which all feel fine.”

“That’s because you’re currently doped out of your skull, rabbit.” 

“It feels great.” 



“So I hear you can’t figure out the magic of stop signs,” Aaron said, leaning back in the hard plastic chair in the waiting room, directly across from Arnold. “I know, it is a bit difficult figuring out big white lettering that says stop.”

He winced, looking guilty and upset. “I didn’t mean to hit him, I would never want to hit him.”

“Yet you managed to hit him hard enough to break bones. Exactly how fast were you driving?”

“I wasn’t paying attention-”

“God, that is such an Arnold thing to do.”



Settling Neil back in the tower should have been easy. Andrew was basically a pro at corralling him into the elevator and onto the couch, hiding his running shoes and keys to the stadium. 

Arnold kept trying to meet with Neil personally and explain what had happen. At first it was just constant calling Neil’s cellphone but then eventually he managed his way into the building. 

“I need to see Neil.” Arnold said, loud. His eyes were red and people in the hallway were beginning to stare at the scene of Andrew standing with his arms crossed in front of the ridiculously tall boy. 

“No you don’t.”

“He needs to understand that I didn’t mean to hurt him.”

“Yet you still gave a good attempt to run him over.” 

The affair was documented on the school’s YikYak of people captioning dialogue. Twitter showed a semi viral video of the seven foot boy crying hysterically at Andrew’s feet, which Aaron screenshotted and used as his phone screen background, temporarily replacing his girlfriend’s for exactly three and half days.

“Kevn could drive better,” Andrew told Aaron. 

“My racquet could drive better.”


“You can’t seriously take him to court over this,” Neil told Andrew, frowning. It was hard to care what he was saying when he winced everytime he moved. “Andrew, this is crazy.”

“I’m keeping a maniac off the road.” 

“You literally used a car to kill your own mother.” 



“I can’t believe we could be related to a jackass like that,” Aaron told Matt during practise, hitting the ball a little bit too aggressively. “It is sickening, thinking about the fact that we could have a third brother who doesn’t understand how speeding laws work.”

“Right,” Matt said, eyes tracking where the ball had zoomed off to. 

“Speeding laws are basically the pillars of society like who even fucks that shit up?”


The unwanted sequel to this mess:

Ushijima: soft, leaves fall on his head and he gets confused, doesn’t have a filter on what he says, basically a dense shoujo manga protag, reads the adds in mangas instead of the actual content, sleeps with a volleyball next to him, just wants to make his dad proud, super adorable, soft

Y’all: continue to sleep on these true facts

psa: can’t remember the last time i mentioned this, but i really appreciate you all. i hope you all have a beautiful day and that you are greeted with many happy moments.

9 realms of norse mythology

as told by someone who is bad at maths, and also just realised that iron age people too appear to be bad at math. or rather enjoys saying nine realms as a poetic conventions more than. erm describing exactly nine realms.

Asgård: boring as fuck. like honestly the gods seems unable to even stay in that damn realm a single legend. clearly asagård is not to rec. do not visit. Points 2/10

Vanaheim: wtf is this place? Freya, Frey and Njord is from there anyway so that is nice. otherwise. no idea. points ??? (impossible to give points. mystery place)

Utgård: apperntly a evil place of giants and beasts. but also. Loki and Thor keeps going. everyone spends all their adventours here. tbh this sounds like the best place in the 9 realms. 9/10 (losing 1 points cause dangerous)

Jutonheim: the difference between ugård and jutomheim is cryptic. jutonheim appears to be a region in utgård. or. maybe the oppsite. anyway same thing true as with utgård. 9/10

Nifelhel/Hel: good!!! death kingdom ruled by the daughter of loki Hel. Don’t be confused by her name. she does not rule over hell, it is just confusingly similar sounding. her death kingdom is hall with a feast. sounds totally ok. 10/10

Midgård: where humans live!! perfectly allright. nothings special though. has one good thing. JÖRMUNGANDR the midgård encircling serpant!! otherwise meh. 5/10

Muspelheim: on fire. literally. would not visit 0/10

Myrkheim/Nidavellir: home of the elves. the elves make all the cool jewellary, enchanted chains and epic weapons of the asagods. basically the source of all important shiny in the 9 realms. tbh would move there. although i get the feeling they are like tolkien noldor. lives in underground palaces and make shiny. and just like noldor, avoid stealing their shiny! such things ends badly 9/10

alfheim: another place were elf lives (? the fuck is norse mythology elves anyway. there seems to be no agreement in this subject. basically the beings of alfheim and myrkheim are referenced to as several different mythological beings. dwarves, elves, gods, spirits??? wtf is going on. we will never know). hrm. ANYWAY. Frey chilled there. sounds much more hippie than myrkheim. but i got angry at trying understand which kind off being lived there. therefore it gets NULL POINTS.

Winner: Utgård/Jutonheim and Myrkheim.

Loser: Muspelheim. fuck that place. i am not really sure it is actually a realm anyway. my very unsourced feeling tm calls that it is a kenning, not the name for a seperate realm. but i base that on nothing but spite