From now on I want to narrate every Sherlock interview as if I'm Lemony Snicket
“If we pull this off, it’ll be television history!” Amanda said, gleefully. Amanda should not have said this, and she certainly should not have said it gleefully. What Amanda should’ve said instead is “This season includes a very talented actress who will surely impress you all.” However poor Amanda did not say this. And several months later she certainly regretted her mistake.
Sue’s eyes widened in shock. They did not widen in shock because Amanda had spoiled the plot of the show, or because Amanda had just hinted at what may happen in the upcoming season, but rather because Amanda had just told a massive, whopping, great big lie. And Sue was shocked.
“Love conquers all,” Benedict smiled sappily. Benedict did not, of course, mean “Sherlock’s romantic love of another person and their love of him conquers all their problems this season,” but rather, “In my opinion Sherlock Holmes and John Watson have been in love for over a century and I believe it is only right that they should be allowed to love each other and that I should kiss Martin.”
Steven hid his head in his hands. Steven did this because he thought Benedict was being cheesy and romantic, however it seemed to the audience like he did this because Ben had just give away a major point of the plot. Steven should be more careful about how his body language portrays his feelings.
Mark looked like he wanted to kill Benedict. This was not unusual, however. Mark always looked like he wanted to kill Benedict. And Steven. And everyone, in fact. Mark liked to think about murder.
“This is the best season yet,” Steven said. He was lying. I know he was lying because in reality it was filled with plot holes and glowing pictures and boys who eat out of dog bowls. But I’m not a rude person, so I left Steven to his ignorance.
“Who you really are, it doesn’t matter,” Mark typed. Mark should not have typed this. In fact, I wanted to hit Mark with a big stick and tell him ‘who you are REALLY matters’ but Mark would not have listened. Mark thinks he is smarter than me. He is clearly not. But who he is still matters.
“I’ll die if Johnlock doesn’t happen,” a TJLCer sobbed as she typed on her laptop. “RIP,” Mark replied. He did not do this to be funny. He did this because he can be a massive twat sometimes. This was one of those times.
"I don’t know, I don’t know, I’m just in it!” Martin squeaked. He was not trying to hide a secret, as many believed. Martin was just genuinely baffled by the new season. And by baffled I mean ‘had no idea what the plot was, what the point was, what his character was suppose to be doing and why he didn’t get to kiss Benedict.’
I have never been beautiful,
and I am no one to judge;
but the girl peering out at you
through blood shot eyes and matted hair
is truly the ugliest I’ve ever seen.
Heaving through corrupted lungs,
clutching her broken ribs,
she falls to the ground.
I’ve never been much of a fortune teller
but this girl is dying.
Tears fall down her fragile porcelain face
like rain falling from a sad sky
and her heavy sobs are the thunder
that sends small children running for cover.
Yet there is no lightning.
No light left in her eyes.
Fading dye in her dead hair
and nails chewed to the cuticle
she shakes with anxiety.
Her hands shake as she pops pills
into her small pink mouth
greedily like candy.
This girl is dying.
Her small boney fist is raised
and with all the might left
in her emaciated
She shatters the mirror.
My knuckles are bleeding.
I used to write love poems. How quickly things change.
Assuming the remaining episodes won’t be reshuffled, I feel I can semi-safely post the original, “correct” order of all the S18 episodes, to help anyone who might want to rewatch this season in the order the writers intended(who knows, maybe it’ll make more sense that way).
SVU Season 18 - Complete Episode List
Making a Rapist (18x02)
Unstoppable (n/a, the T*rump episode, will never air)
Broken Rhymes (18x06)
Rape Interrupted (18x05)
Great Expectations (18x11)
Decline and Fall (18x09)
No Surrender (18x12)
Motherly Love (18x10)
Next Chapter (18x07)
Chasing Theo (18x08)
Know It All (18x15)
Net Worth (18x14)
The Newsroom (18x16)
Real Fake News (18x17)
American Dream (18x20)
I hope this helps any masochists viewers who intend to rewatch the mess that is/was S18.
I count 12 episodes airing out of order (episodes
4 through 15), not including the unaired T*rump episode. So literally half the season :D
I think my favourite head canon is that Cayde, after years of wanting to leave the tower and go back out into the field, ultimately ends up bonding with the people of the city and all the non-guardians working at the tower. Resulting in him being actually kind of fond of his job in the Tower.
AN: While it isn’t first thing in the morning it is still fairly early. So here is part 5 of Hard Eyes. There’s only one part left after this!!!! I’ll be holding a poll on twitter to decide what series I should up date next, so make sure to follow me HERE
You can’t help but think, that Dick was right. This life is addictive. It’s easy to fall back into. It’s easy to kill and forcefully move people out of your way, when it comes down to it. It’s old hat for you; the bullets flying, the crazy screams, the occasional bit of laughter. Your body moves on it’s own, somehow remembering everything it knew all those years ago.
It takes everything you have to hold back. You don’t go after major arteries, you go for the tendons, and weak spots. Spots that will ground your opponents, but not kill them. Then everything is quiet, with the exception of the ringing in your ears. It takes only a minute to snap out of it. Floyd’s hand lands on your shoulder and you’re back.
“They’re still alive,” Harley complains.
You look at your friend and shrug, “I’ve gone a bit soft.”
She sighs, “I heard motherhood does that.”
You smile before you move forward. You’ve dyed your hair, and donned a mask. There’s no chance of someone recognizing you, and that gives you a certain amount of freedom. You move forward in a group, toward the final door. The only thing standing between you and Thomas Elliott.
You grip your knives a tighter, until your knuckles turn white, “We do this fast. We neutralize any traps or threats, we grab Elliott, and we make him talk.”
There’s a murmur of agreement, as Ivy uses her plants to open the doors. Several small explosions go off as you enter. And then you’re met with more hired guns.You fall right back into the pattern.
It takes no time for you to cut through the weeds, and that’s when you see him. He’s grinning, and staring at you. You have no doubt that he knows exactly who you are despite the disguise.
You want to rush forward, but you know better. You know better than to give someone like him what he wants. So you stay with you team, right up until he runs. It had taken you all week to get this close to him, and you’re not about to let him go now.
So ignoring every instinct you have, you chase him. You run him down like a cat after a mouse. It separates you from your team, but you don’t care, the rage is taking over now.
He leads you through the twists and turns of the tunnels, until he stops in a main chamber. He stares at you with that twisted smile on his face. “Welcome Mrs. Wayne, though I suppose Hell Cat is much more appropriate in these circumstances.”
You don’t bother responding, as you take a step forward, “Not so fast.” He holds up a device with several buttons, “It’d be a shame if not only your identity was released but that of your family.”
That makes you stop. “Tell me, do they know that they’re helping get the Batman back on his feet? That they’re helping their number one enemy. Or are they so blinded by their loyalty to you, that they don’t even see that you’re betraying them?”
The sound of footsteps fill your ears and he let’s out a laugh, “I know let’s ask them.”
“I don’t think you’re going to like the answer.” You smile at the familiar voice, but you don’t turn to look. Jason’s familiar gloved hand reaches for yours, and a moment later your other children begin stepping out of the shadows.
You squeeze Jason’s hand once before stepping forward, “Thomas Elliot, AKA Hush, AKA the bastard who betrayed my family. You should have thought twice about that.”
You can see the nervousness in his eyes now. As he steps nervously to the side, only to be met by the sight of Damian. As your children begin to close in you explain. “I’m not stupid Thomas. It took me next to no time, to realize that it was you who had betrayed us, and thanks to Ed I already knew that you knew who we are. I also realized that I couldn’t rely just on my old team, I needed to rely on my new one as well.”
“We hacked you, that controller you’re holding is now useless,” Tim states.
“Our identities will stay secret, thank you very much,” Dick says, taking the controller.
You can see that he’s nervous now, he’s fidgeting, and his eyes are darting all over the place, “You still need me. For the poison, or I’ll talk. That’s right I’ll tell the entire police precinct who you are!”
You shake your head, “You don’t realize it do you, Thomas? That day my oldest son came to visit me he put a listening device and a tracker on me. He knew exactly what I was doing and where I was. It also gave him and my other kids a chance to look up exactly where you’ve been and examine your office.”
Cass’ voice is cold,“We found the poison.”
“Martian Manhunter has already worked up an antidote, and is removing the other shrapnel as we speak.”
“Doesn’t mean I won’t talk!! And you all don’t kill!”
You nod, “You’re right, we don’t. Unlucky for you Amanda Waller does, and you pissed her off by stealing her poison.”
His eyes go wide right as the bullet takes him out. Your eyes flicker to the high ground, where your brother is lying down, rifle still in hand. You walk up to the body, “Even unluckier for you, I have an over protective brother, who’s a damn good shot.”
Your children stare at you for a moment, and you open your arms to them. As they encircle you in a hug, you take comfort in your family, and a sense of relief takes over your body. Relief that you hopefully won’t ever have to pick up your blades again.
You watch your kids disappear into the shadows as the squad comes into the chamber. There’s complaints about you having all the fun, but otherwise there’s no questions about the dead body or the bullet hole that created it.
You head back to that run-down bar, and have one last drink. As you sip your whiskey you simply say, “I’m done.”
Floyd nods, “We know.”
Harley and Ivy both wrap an arm around your shoulders, Harley smiles and says, “Let those news guys get some pictures of you and the baby some time okay. We want to see what she looks like.”
“That goes for all major events, any future kids, weddings, graduations, the works,” Ivy adds.
You take a deep breath, “I’ll do my best.”
Floyd smiles, “Thanks by the way. For setting up that scholarship for my girl, headed to the best high school in the area because of you.”
You smile, “I’m ashamed to say that was Bruce’s idea.”
Floyd just smiles, “You got a good guy there. Got good kids too.”
Harley grins, “Your boys are real lookers.”
You roll your eyes, “Stay away from my boys AND my girls Harley.”
She just smirks, and shrugs. Pulling out a couple of large bills you place them on the counter and tell the bar keep, “Make sure their glasses stay full.”
He just nods, and you down the rest of your whiskey. Without looking back you pick up your bag and make your way out to your car. You climb into the passenger seat, and stare at your brother, before handing over the keys, and simply say, “Don’t destroy my car. It was a birthday present.”
He just scoffs and says, “Whatever you say Richie Rich.”
This is just something mediocre to make up for the fact that it’s been so long since I’ve last posted. Enjoy!
Justin stands at the other side of the room, his back straight and the black suit and tie clinging to him perfectly. My heart attempts to escape my ribcages whenever I look at him wearing such a thing, but I’d much rather he be wearing jeans and a T-shirt, just because I know he’d be more comfortable. He nods and smiles every now and then in response to the nonsense leaving the mouth of the man that stands close by him.
I know the smile is fake. It’s tight and hard and doesn’t touch his eyes. I watch in adoration when he licks his lips or bites down on his bottom lip, or runs a hand through his hair, I know he’s not even aware he’s doing any of these things.
Justin I both strongly dislike either of our parent’s parties, in fact, we spend many nights laid in bed and suggesting all the scenarios we could create that could get us out of them. But here we are. Again.
“Oh, [Y/N]!” A voice bellows from the crowd of people dressed in fancy outfits, all of the faces secretly turning their noses up at everyone who so much as brushes their shoulder up against their own.
The voice is nasally and I would assume whoever is calling my name currently has the misfortune of a minor illness if I didn’t know the voice all too well.
“Amanda,” I say through gritted teeth. “How are you?” I ask while turning to my right to face her.
The woman stood before me is a close family friend. She thinks just because she happened to be close with my parents at one point in her life, she has the responsibility of making conversation with me whenever our paths meet. Her hair is cut perfectly and hugs her face. The deep red colour shines through every strand and sways almost in slow motion when she moves her head.
“I’m wonderful,” she slurs. “What about you, dear? What’s new with you?”
Even as she says this, I can guess she’s lying through her teeth. There’s a high chance her husband is cheating on her, and her, on her husband. She’s probably drowning in debt and her children wish they’d never been born. Despite this, she hides it with a smile.
“I’ve been fairly good, thank you,” I say and smile politely. “Not much is new but I’m just trying to appreciate every day.” I try to hold the smile on my face as she nods with a bored look in her eye.
“Rumour has it, you’ve got yourself a boyfriend,” Amanda grins and reaches an arm out as though to touch me, but thinks more of it and withdraws her claws.
‘I didn’t think that was so hard to believe but yes, I do.” I shift uncomfortably in my heels and feel my hand sweating around the wine glass. I alternated it between my hands and wiped my palms against my dress.
“.. Tell me about him,” she says quietly and sips her wine. I can see a red lipstick stain around the rim.
Justin pops into my mind without me having to make an effort. I suppress a smile and find the floor to be quite interesting. “Well, his name is Justin and we met a few years ago at college. He’s somewhere around here, actually.”
“I’d love to meet him.” She’s glancing around the room, and it’s painfully obvious she’s searching for a new target to make her own. I stay quiet and wait to see how long it takes before she disappears.
Eventually, I see her catch sight of her husband at the bar. She waves me off with a forced smile before her heels are click-click-clicking across the floor and through the crowd.
Sighing, I look around the room. People are smiling, laughing and enjoying themselves, sipping wine and making conversation. I tap my nails against the glass and enjoy the sound.
My shoes are the next to click against the floor while I make my way over to the long length table backed up against the wall. All sorts of food has been spread across it and I can feel my stomach rumbling at the sight.
“‘Scuse me, kind woman,” someone says - with a distinctly fake-posh accent - from directly behind me. “Would you mind joining me in a delightful conversation about the ten different yachts I own, and how I went backpacking through Antarctica last year? And let’s not forget about how I own five houses in five different states in America.”
“You suck at accents,” I laugh and crane my neck to see Justin grinning down at me. “What even was that?”
“What? That? Oh, just my imitation of just about everyone in this room.” He rolls his eyes and takes a sip of his half-empty glass of wine. “I’m surprised to see muffins and cookies being served here. I thought it’d be all scones and fancy cakes.”
“Me too,” I say while taking a cookie from the silver platter. I break it in half and feel crumbs fall into the palms of my hand. “Want some?”
Feeling Justin’s closeness, I turn to look at him once more. His mouth is parted and it allows me to see his tongue laying low. His breath is hot against my face. I break the cookie into smaller segments and drop a piece into Justin’s awaiting mouth. Crunching noises ring through my ear, and a sweet kiss lands underneath my right ear after the sound comes to a halt.
“I don’t care how stuck up these people are, they make good cookies,” he mutters quietly and it causes a buzz through my neck that lingers for a few seconds.
While he’s busy crunching down on the remaining cookie, Justin is dragged away by a man I’ve never seen, but is apparently familiar to Justin because I see a small sigh leave his lips. Justin kisses my cheek and squeezes my hand before letting go and making his way through the crowd with reluctance.
I’m left alone once more, surrounded by bodies and feeling out of place. I stroll around the room and listen in to small segment of different people’s conversations; they range from cars to time shares to housing, to holidays in the Caribbean. I end up leaning against the wall in the far side of the room.
It takes another hour or so before I see Justin again, having been dragged into encounters of my own with people I barely know.
When Justin makes an appearance, he comes in close and grips my hand with his. I’m pleased to see him and I smile instantly.
“Let’s go,” he says and I frown in confusion.
“Let’s leave right now, anywhere you wanna go. I can’t stand another five minutes with these people. This isn’t us. We’re not classy or fancy; we sit at home eating pizza and watching Netflix, we hit the stores at midnight looking for cookie dough, we sit on hotel balconies and feel each other up. I want all of that, not this.”
He didn’t have to say anything else to win me over; I’d been feeling the exact same all night.
“Are you in?” he asks and watches me hopefully. I waste no time and nod, and before I can comprehend, my hand is prisoner to Justin’s and we’re gliding in and out of the crowd. I manage to drop my wine glass on the buffet table without spilling anything as I glide passed the it.
Thankfully, we manage to make our way to the door without being noticed or stopped as I thought we would have. I can’t see either of our parents ready to stop us from fleeing either, and this causes a rush of hope to shoot through me that makes me grab the door handle and slide out before Justin does the same.
Almost in a flash, all of the commotion and noise I had to endure over the course of the night disappears. I wonder if I’ve momentarily gone deaf until Justin coughs gently and crushes my rising worry. The night is cold and I can see our warm breath escaping into the night. Justin’s hand keeps my own warm while the rest of my body shivers.
“Where to?” I ask while he’s already busy pulling me down the drive of my parent’s house and across the street. It’s quite late, meaning there’s no one in sight. The street looks frighteningly lifeless.
“Anywhere, just somewhere we can be together,” he replies and his breath flies towards me but disappears before it can touch me.
We end up at a 24-hour store by Justin’s request, his argument being he was hungry, despite having just scoffed anything he could find on the buffet. I didn’t object because I knew I had just enough money in my bag for a drink; my throat was burning for something other than overpriced wine.
The store was the only source of light on the street, it was getting darker by the minute and the streetlights were either broken or not on a schedule and had been abandoned for the night. Either way, I had that familiar thankfulness you feel when you see artificial lights and life after all you’ve seen is darkness for a long period of time. It was comforting.
Behind the counter however, was a man who didn’t seem very happy he was working the night shift. He looked half-dead as we walked through the automatic doors and made no effort to adjust himself to appear friendly.
Justin’s hand had been holding my own all the way to the store, but as soon as we were walking down the aisle full of food, his fingers slid away from my own.
“God, I’m starving,” he mutters while grabbing anything in his sight from the shelves. It’s not long before he’s cradling his items in his arms and walking towards the counter.
Meanwhile, I grab a bottle of water from the chilled section while trailing Justin like a puppy. The packaging crinkles loudly as Justin drops his things and I place my bottle down quietly. The cashier doesn’t look impressed and sighs heavily before straightening up.
Once we’ve paid, and the cashier has received a long, hard stare from Justin after asking him if he’d like a bag, we’re back out in the cool air and strolling off into the darkness. The bag rustles and disturbs the quiet but Justin doesn’t seem to care.
“Where to now?” I ask.
“Wherever we want, babygirl. The world is ours. I just want to be with you,” Justin replies, my heart would have been beating a lot faster if he wasn’t busy rummaging through his bag for the packet of Oreos he’d just bought.
Ok so I have a hc that after Amanda booted Kim off the cheerleading team she took up some other after school sport. You she where this is heading right?? THATS RIGHT TRIMBERLY FIGHT AT A SOCCER GAME AU with some Jason X Billy. I honestly don’t know where this came from but I hope you enjoy :))))) warning: some homophobia and language.
Trini hated mornings like these. Mornings where she had to get up at 7 am just cause her stupid, beautiful girlfriend had a soccer game. The mornings were made even worse when she missed breakfast, and seeing as she was already late, she knew it was going to be a bad day.
“God why did have to date a soccer player?,” Trini grumbled as she got out of bed.
A knocking at her window disrupted her grumpy brooding.
“Hey yellow.” Trini recognized the voice instantly. A pair of strong arm wrapped around her middle. Kim pecked Trini softly on the cheek.
“Aren’t you supposed to be at your game?” Trini asked.
Kim got a mischievous look in her eye,
“Well I was on my way when I remembered a certain cute ranger.”
“Why are you talking about Billy like that?” Kim laughed at her girlfriends sarcasm.
“Come on crazy girl we’re gonna be late for my game.” Kim teased.
“It’s only funny when you call me that.” Trini retorted.
Kim smiled lazily back at her. “Don’t let Zack hear you.”
Together the girls rode to the school in Kimberly’s pink jeep listening to seventeen by Alessia Cara.
The game was coming to the end of the second quarter. The angel grove team was losing by 5 points. Trini watched from the bleachers as her girl played forward center.
“God she’s terrible isn’t she,” Trini felt her blood boil as she recognized the god awful voice as none other than Kimberly’s old cheer friends.
“It’s a miracle she can even run with those chicken legs of hers,” the girls laughed.
Trini turned to the girls so fast it was a miracle she didn’t get whiplash.
“What the fuck are you looking at dyke?” Amanda sneered.
“I think I’m looking at the girl who’s about to have two black eyes if she doesn’t shut the hell up,” Trini snapped.
Amanda looked taken aback for a moment before her dog like snarl etched itself back onto her face.
“Or what,” she retorted “are you gonna punch my tooth out like your little girlfriend did to poor Tye.” Amanda laughed at her remark.
Trini was two seconds away from punching Amanda square in the jaw when she felt someone’s hand on her shoulder. Trini turned to see Billy and the boys. Billy turned to Amanda with a look in his eye that Trini had only seen when they were fighting Rita in their zords.
Billy spoke calmly and slowly.
“Please stop talking about Kimberly like that and leave Trini alone.”
Amanda looked at Billy as she sized him up. She took a step closer.
“Are you and your boyfriend going to make me? God are all five you you fags?” Amanda looked incredibly bored at the situation.
“I can’t believe Kimberly had to resort to hanging with a retarded kid, a lesbian, the school disappointment, and the stupid Asian.”
Billy looked down in fear. Jason’s face had never resembled his suit more. Zack looked like he was one second away from killing someone. Trini actually wanted to murder Amanda.
“God the only thing worse that you four losers the other dyke on the field.” Amanda spit her words out.
“WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Trini yelled before tackling Amanda to the ground. The boys tried to get between them before Trini yelled at them to stay back.
Unfortunately for Trini Amanda was still taller than her and unsurprisingly flexible. They wrestled around on the ground for a minute before Amanda finally pinned Trini to the ground and threw a punch to her face. Trini’s nose started bleeding almost instantly. Before she could throw another punch Amanda was on her back and Trini had unleashed her fury on the head cheerleader. Amanda got up before Trini could throw anymore punches to her now bruising face. Amanda threw a swift kick to Trini’s head. Trini saw stars colluding her vision. Before the fight could continue they heard someone shout.
“GET OFF MY GIRLFRIEND YOU ASSHOLE!” Both girls turned and saw a blur of short black hair head straight for Amanda.
“You can make fun of me all you want but NEVER touch her!” Kimberly shoved Amanda into the bleachers. The fight was over as soon as it started. The coach pulled Kimberly off Amanda before yelling at her.
“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT HART?!” Coach looked from Kim to Amanda to Trini.
“WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A GAME. YOU CAN’T JUST RUN OFF THE FIELD BECAUSE SOMEONE IS PICKING A FIGHT WITH YOUR GIRL.” Kim looked back at coach with equal vigor.
“YOU’RE BANNED FROM THE TEAM FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON!” Coached barked at her.
Coach suddenly turned to Amanda.
“AND YOU! YOU CAN BET YOUR ASS YOU’RE OFF THE CHEER SQUAD FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON!”
Amanda stomped away in a fury muttering something about coach that was definitely not school appropriate.
The Rangers piled into Kim’s car without another word.
Billy was the first one to break the silence.
“Kim I’m sorry we got you kicked off the soccer team.” Kim sighed in frustration.
“It’s ok Billy, it’s just a sport.” Billy smiled at Kim from he back seat.
Jason turned down to Billy and put an arm around his shoulders.
“Babe I’m sorry about what Amanda said. You’re not retarded, you’re the smartest guy I know.” Jason pecked Billy on his cheek.
Billy was blushing shyly now. Kim dropped the boys off by the entrance to the mine.
Trini hadn’t said a word the entire ride. Kim pulled up to her driveway and she and Trini made there way inside. Kimberly took a look at Trini’s face and pulled her into the bathroom.
“Hey,” she spoke softly “Trini look at me.” Trini looked up and immediately regretted it. As soon as she stared into those deep brow eyes she knew she was sunk.
“KimI'msorryigotyoukickedofftheteambutAmandawasbeingsuchabitchandand,” Kimberly silenced Trini with a kiss. Kim brought her hand up and caressed the cut on Trini’s lip.
“Calm down babe it’s ok. I think Amanda deserved it.” Trini breathed a sigh of relief.
“Besides,” Kim went on “It was hot to see you defend me like that.” Trini laughed into Kim’s hand.
Kimberly took the first aid kit and cleaned Trini’s cuts and bruises.