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#StarringConstanceWu is here to fight whitewashing

After hashtag campaign #StarringJohnCho reimagined Hollywood films with Star Trek actor John Cho in the lead role, Fresh Off the Boat actress Constance Wu is getting her shot. And judging by her tweet, Wu approves.

Xander was led through the castle corridors by his retainer, his wary frown deepening at every passing moment. “And you gave this order to the chef because..?” “Things have become too dreary as of late, milord. I thought perhaps I could liven our spirits with something everyone loves: food,” came the all-too-casual reply from Laslow. “Back where I’m from, we celebrate all we’re thankful for by gathering our loved ones for a huge banquet.” The prince was sure the creases upon his forehead would become a permanent fixture, but he declined to inquire about Laslow’s mysterious home, or how he could introduce such indulgence from it to a kingdom with scarce food supply to begin with. Instead he hmm’d, and continued to follow his merry subordinate down to the kitchen.

As they neared, Laslow began to brag more of what awaited for his prince to see: pheasant, chicken, pig, beef, a cauldron of soup, fruits and vegetables, pies, and so much more. He detailed how the chef had said they would make this a dinner to never forget, and guessed that the cooks must have worked all night and day to bring each meal to perfection. Laslow’s eagerness to show off the awaiting layout was contagious; the stolid prince himself was becoming interested to see this for himself.

Their shared anticipation screeched to a halt, replaced instead with a perturbed curiosity as a booming sound came rattling from the kitchen entrance.

*BRRAAUURRP!!*

The two shared a look before hastening to the archway. What they found was.. a whole mix of words, honestly. The kitchen looked absolutely ransacked. Cabinets were flung open, their shelves either bare or littered with empty bottles and bags. The countertops were a mess of food scraps and stains, plates and sheets strewn across them or else shattered on the floor. The cauldron was tipped over, only a small trickle of broth emerging from it. The large pantry was open to reveal it too was now barren of any sign of food or ingredients, only the empty shells of sacks, boxes, and barrels remaining. The main counter near the middle of the room was no better; the pans where the cooked fowls and pig were to be now only containing bones stripped clean of meat, indicating it was hit by the same disaster.

And said disaster was plopped down on the floor resting his back against it, the location of all the food that had disappeared resting between his sprawled legs in the form of a huge, gurgling orb. The belly looked unreal, so big and round that it would fit better on a monster thrice its current owner’s size. But that was not the case, made evident by how utterly engorged the glutton was, tongue hanging lazily from his mouth as he panted, each intake of breath making the tight mound swell only a centimeter under his gloved hands. His shirt and vest (and, if they’d been visible, pants as well) were long since rid of their buttons, now useless cloth lying over the top sides of the mound.

“Keaton..?”

The wolfskin’s lowered ears perked at the sound of his name, and his head turned accordingly. His eyes were half-lidded, mind sluggish, and it took him a second to register it was Laslow who called to him - his liege, still struck speechless, standing next to him. “Oh..” He was interrupted by a soundless hiccup that made his torso jolt back and enormous belly jostle, a slight whimper tailing the act. Apparently just forming words was too much trouble for his system right now. “oof… Heya~” Even caught red-handed like this, Keaton could not be dissuaded from his pleased state; looking like the cat that got the cream was more truth than idiom in his case.

Silence would have fallen once more, were it not for the wolf’s stomach still busy processing its insane load. It gurgled and churned, glorped and whined, like a muffled factory overloaded with work. The wolf’s hands rubbing on either side seemed an effort in futility. Laslow and Xander, still caught in shock, were occupied with trying to piece together what happened. Apparently the wolfskin had caught the scent of all the food being prepared, enticed down into the kitchen by the succulent smells that poured forth like a torrent. If the smell enchanted him, the sight of it all must have driven him mad with hunger, awakening his inner beast as he lunged forth and crammed the nearest morsel in his maw. And from there he just.. did not stop. Anything edible was chewed, slurped, or otherwise gulped whole in the one-wolf rampage. A night and a day’s work, all consumed in what could have only taken an hour or so.

That just left one question. The architect of such an arrangement surely could not have left their work unguarded. Again it was Laslow who voiced their shared concern. “Wait.. where’s the chef?”

Keaton’s stomach rumbled, as if triggered by the word. The gastric sounds reached a fever pitch before ending in another loud, drawn-out belch from the unabashed glutton. He licked his chops, contented smile growing a tad, and gave his drum-tight gut a light pat. It was then that the two other men noticed the white hat and slightly torn apron resting next to the wolfskin. No further investigation was needed, much less desired.

Another extended pause, and then the two men at the entryway diverged in action. Where Xander remained planted in place, disturbed beyond measure, Laslow walked over to the immobilized wolf and kneeled down to join him in rubbing the churning mass. While Keaton certainly appreciated the extra pair of hands, the prince gave him a bemused look. “What are you doing?” Laslow returned the look with a defeated shrug, as if his hands were tied in the matter. “Well, it was my idea in the first place, so.. I guess this is my responsibility.”

He turned back to the wolf, rubbing his ridiculously packed belly with extra vigor. “At least someone got to enjoy the feast, huh?” Keaton could only make pleased sounds, tongue again flopping out of his mouth as another burp worked its way up his tired throat. Xander, meanwhile, resigned himself to be the one to have to clean up the bizarre mess these two made.

Holy god I actually did something on time.. barely! This time picture and a drabble! \o/  HOPE EVERYONE HAD A HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

We can do this, guys! Just please, if you’re registered, go out and vote today. Every vote counts!💓🙌🇺🇸

i just remembered i have a test i havent studied for and 5 hours of homework due tomorrow

i love college

2

I have a lot of feelings about the latest chapter of “Flowey is Not a Good Life Coach” and this sums up most of them

Bonus ending!

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