all about house

Shit Slytherins Say: #100
  • Slytherin: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
  • Gryffindor: "Seriously?"
  • Slytherin: "To Get to the ugly witches house."
  • Gryffindor: "I don't get it."
  • Slytherin: "Knock knock."
  • Gryffindor: "Who's there?"
  • Slytherin: "The chicken"
Ravenclaw Headcanon

Professor Longbottom is the head of Gryffindor house and the Ravenclaws don’t understand why, because if Professor Potter killed Voldemort, shouldn’t he be head of house? So as Ravenclaws do, they pushed the subject even though it wasn’t their business (mostly because Gryffindors just shrug it off and move on). Ravenclaws asked headmistress McGonagall why, and she just responds with “Because Professor Longbottom is a more exemplary Gryffindor.” And the Ravenclaws are like “what? No?” So they take the matter to Professor Potter and ask him. He just laughs and says, “I fought because I had to, because I was chosen by Voldemort, and was magically linked to him, I had no way out. And Neville was chosen by the death eaters. He faced more enemies personally, and he could’ve ran and hid, but he was the face of the revolution here. Neville stood his ground while I was in hiding.”
And all the Ravenclaws become awestruck and ask for more information, and both professors just brush off the subject. And because the Ravenclaws are who they are, when history of magic has it’s lesson on the war at hogwarts, they pay more attention than anyone and soon have a deeper understanding and respect for Professor Longbottom.

A Slytherin who’s always going on about how they’re going to change the world and make all wizards equal in the eyes of the law and hopefully most of society.

A Slytherin that uses their persuasion to lift people’s self-confidence by convincing them they’re wonderful.

A Slytherin that doesn’t take stupid bigotry and is seen as obnoxious because they won’t let subtle jokes at the expense of others slide under the radar.

A Slytherin that uses their leadership skills to bring people together to achieve a common goal.

Just Slytherins being great people and utilizing their Slytherin traits to their advantage in the best way possible.

Real talk - Hogwarts Houses

Listen up folks!
So, we all know about our Hogwarts houses and we also know that it is an unspoken rule that your Hogwarts house is kind of your own very important, very chaotic but also very lovable family.

However, I am slowly but steadily getting sick of hearing:

“Oh, you’re a Slytherin, so you are an evil piece of shit.”

Like, no. Kindly f*ck off. It’s true that once you have pissed me off, I’ll make your life miserable, but that doesn’t mean that I’m evil, at least not per se.

And this does not only go for Slytherins.
It goes for every house.

Gryffindors aren’t reckless.
Hufflepuffs aren’t vulnerable.
Ravenclaws aren’t boring.
Slytherins aren’t evil.

You wanna know how I know? Apart from the obvious evidence given in the books, let’s just take one short look at their freakin’ crests.

☆ GRYFFINDOR ☆

Their house animal is a bloody lion!
Yes, it’s true that male lions sometimes fight recklessly. BUT, a lion pride has a strict hierarchy and rules which are to be followed. The young lions are to be protected at all cost and the pride is literally living together. Whether they are hunting or grooming each other or simply lying on the sun together. They protect each other, the pride and their territory.

So, should you ever think that Gryffindors are happy go lucky idiots , than you are most likely fucking wrong. Thank you very much.


☆ HUFFLEPUFF ☆

Oh boy, don’t even get me started… You think a badger is cute and harmless? Well, yes they are, but still. Have you ever heard of the honey-badger? Probably the most badass living mammal I have ever heard of. That animal eats snakes! Freakin’ snakes!!
It digs out the honey out off a bee hive and gets stung ten to twenty times and simply does not give a shit.

If you still think Hufflepuffs are vulnerable you better get ready to get your ass kicked.

☆ RAVENCLAW ☆

Alright, so, Ravenclaws always read and have a stick up their arse? Well, think again!
Their animal is a motherfudging eagle. That creature is so epic even Americas bald eagle loses its feathers. Have you seen its claws? Because I have and they certainly aren’t just for decoration.

They might have their head in the clouds but from up there they can see all your flaws so shut the fuck up about Ravenclaws being boring.


☆ SLYTHERIN ☆

Yes, you say the snake is an evil demon? Well , you thought wrong, asshat! It’s true that the snake is a sign of the wicked, but it is also known for its wisdom and healing. Snake poison is indeed used for certain antidotes hence the use of the snake as the sign of medicine.
Furthermore , in mythology it is the symbol of eternity and primal energy (Uroborus.)

So yeah, you wanna say that I’m a piece of shit? Okay, maybe so. But that has nothing to do with my Hogwarts house. So leave it.

the best cure for being miserable is the misery of someone you hate. or puppies.
sounds for the houses:

Gryffindor:

  • the quiet crackle of fire in a warm room
  • her laughter after you finally kissed her
  • the first bird of the morning in a tent you set up by yourself
  • a train rolling by 
  • “i knew you could do it”
  • fall leaves underfoot
  • the soft padding of a wildcat
  • a tornado that’s too close for comfort
  • yelling yourself hoarse
  • hoofbeats

Hufflepuff:

  • the quiet chime of the oven timer 
  • shifting your legs in clean bedclothes
  • lazy summer afternoons, cicadas in the distance
  • “i’ll wait for you.”
  • her happy gasp when she sees you
  • the shush of ribbon around a giftbox
  • sifting flour
  • an empty echo in a dark canyon
  • drumrolls
  • purring

Slytherin:

  • the tapping of long nails on good wood
  • waves on a pebble shore
  • a crowd chanting your name
  • “you were right.”
  • her happy sigh when you pull her closer
  • the soft shush of a dancer’s feet 
  • good shoes clicking on tile floors
  • wolfpack howls
  • the silence of a snowy midnight 
  • a good engine idling

Ravenclaw:

  • rain on windowpanes
  • old leather creaking
  • the quiet strum of a guitar
  • quietly whispered poetry
  • good coffee machines
  • a paintbrush on fresh canvas
  • “that’s an incredibly good idea”
  • footfalls on library carpets
  • the inhale of her breath when she ducks her nose into an old book
  • wingbeats

There’s a post going around about it right now, but it makes me uncomfortable due to its “if this happened to a gay character, you’d be up in arms!” tone, but I do want to talk about this issue:

A popular television show, House.MD, introduced an “asexual” couple, aimed to prove that asexuality is unnatural, aimed to pathologize the couple’s asexuality, aimed to cure their asexuality, and they were ultimately “successful.”

The episode aired in 2012, for reference. 

An asexual man and his female partner were told that their asexuality wasn’t real. They were put through a series of tests. They discovered that the man’s asexuality was caused by a medical problem and the woman was faking it. 

Seriously, this happened. Some select quotes:

  • (I have a patient who is asexual) “Is she a giant pool of algae?
  • “$100 says I can find a medical reason why she doesn’t want to have sex”
  • (What does it matter if she’s asexual?) “It’s the fundamental drive of our species. Sex is healthy.”
  • “Lots of people don’t have sex. The only people who don’t want it are sick, dead, or lying.”

In addition, the asexual man is subjected to various tests because of a bet made to disprove his asexuality when he was simply seeking medical care. The man is encouraged to seek treatment because his partner “has needs.” 

I can understand representing negative attitudes about asexuality in a realistic manner, and the above statements have been said in similar ways to me at times in my life. However, the episode validated these opinions

In a single episode, asexuals were told that:

  • asexuality isn’t real – it’s a medical problem
  • if your asexuality is a medical problem, you should seek treatment
  • sex is a basic human need that all people should have

Not only was this incredibly invalidating, but it promotes the pathologization of asexuality which contributes to medical abuse asexual people may face. I wont talk about my asexuality with doctors because of stuff like this. 

It promotes the idea that asexual people need to overcome their asexuality in order to be a good partner. You need to seek treatment. (The asexual man: “What if I don’t want the treatment?” His partner: A girl has needs.) 

By the end of the episode, it’s all about House making the right diagnosis! Let’s celebrate! He’s literally rewarded for invalidating a man’s asexuality by pushing tests and treatments on him that he didn’t ask for.

I don’t want people telling me that I have “no problems” as an asexual person, when getting medical care as an out asexual person can be risky. This episode demonstrated a real nightmare for some asexual people.

They validated a nightmare situation. They didn’t validate our identity.  

kaali (4227) notes

♡ if lilith is called “lady mars” then, kaali is called “lady pluto”.

♡ if its conjunct to anything, you can take the energy of that planet and basically make it 1000% more powerful. example: if its conjunct pluto,the person would be powerful, if its conjunct lilith the persons raw sexuality would be worn more on the outside, than the inside etc

♡ though kaali has it’s negative aspects in hard aspects, it is a very powerful healing tool and gives you unique ability for meditation and spirituality

♡ fun fact: kaali conjuct sun or moon means one is a candidate for astral plane programming/triggering, demonic attachment and even mind control (it can also indicate royalty in past or current life) 

♡ in synastry, kaali can indicate lovers in past lives.

♡ kaali in 1st house (and scorpio asc) represent feelings of sexual intensity

♡ kaali in the 12th house means you were ritually sacrificed or assassinated in one lifeline.

Caution for your 7th House

Aries in the 7th House: You may attract passionate and confident people, but watch for impulsive, hot-headed, and even dominant company.

Taurus in the 7th House: Watch out for the gold diggers, those who might try to leech stability, and possessive dynamics.

Gemini in the 7th House: Can attract the restless or detached. Always falling victim to the friend zone, their own or others.

Cancer in the 7th House: Attracting co-dependency dynamics left and right. Sometimes too guarded for opportunities in relationships.

Leo in the 7th House: Can attract some impressive peeps but watch for being overshadowed, unfair partners, and even the selfish or egotistical.

Virgo in the 7th House: Humility and devotion can be attracted but also badly placed loyalty or servitude-like dynamics and lack of reassurance from partners.  Can make the individual too practical towards partnerships or have unrealistic standards. May attract those with unfair expectations of them or perfectionists overall.

Libra in the 7th House: Known to attract those “bad for them”. This can come from them not knowing what they want out of partnerships. Might attract those who don’t help them to balance, that don’t meet their mental capacities, or who pressure them.

Scorpio in the 7th House: Oh yes you’ll have intense relationships. Be careful of jealous, controlling, possessive, and obsessive partners.

Sagittarius in the 7th House: Might be cautious to commit themselves, tends to attract those who aren’t ready to commit. Tends to find themselves in risky partnerships, may attract the gamblers, reckless, competitive, or selfish.

Capricorn in the 7th House: Can attract the mature, responsible, and even those physically older. This is fine but watch out for lack of equality,  being extorted or used, and smothered. Can be overly practical or serious in relationships themselves.  With certain influences could end up taking care of others in a union or even “parenting them”. 

Aquarius in the 7th House: All about unconventional partnerships. Be careful of attracting those who want to change you. May attract those who lack reassurance, are detached, also one to fall into or promote the friend zone.

Pisces in the 7th House: Can attract partners or unions involving shame, addiction, those who may use them, manipulation, and emotional drain.

10
A Friend Of A Friend, These Strangers At The Party Never Paid

summary: “I left phone number on the bathroom stall wall and you text me about your day and your frustrations for a month & it’s really nice and cute but I still don’t know who you are” AU

words: 12.7k

warnings: smut, mentions of smoking, alcohol/being drunk, lack of imagination as far as fic titles are concerned

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Can you believe this was meant to be 3k?? I honeslty don’t know what happened there. all I know is that I have five exams in less than three weeks that I should be revising for and instead did this. yikes I hope this was worth it. (also pray4me that I don’t fail everything) x

Also on the topic of exams the actual reason I wrote this now was bc I’m kinda not gonna be writing for a while because of Lovely responsibilities and school stuff and revision so I’m gonna leave yall with this before I’m off Working and doing fun stuff that adults do.

I hope this is ok!!

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Dan’s halfway through skipping History when he does it.

He doesn’t know why he did it – he really doesn’t, he was just kind of bored one afternoon and happened to be carrying a Sharpie and hey, it’d just be a laugh, right? In a school like this, what’s the worst that could come out of leaving his phone number on a cubicle wall?

His pen squeaks across the pale blue paint, already tainted with curse words and penis drawings and tipp-ex and “Call _____ for a good time ;)”. He supposes the caretakers have given up with trying to cover up the graffiti – there are still thin layers of paint and chipped plaster coating every inch of the stall walls, at least showing attempted coverage, but people had just written over them, scribbles of song lyrics and “never got caught” tattooing every inch of the previously blank walls. No amount of assemblies or threats of “whoever did this-“, inserts picture of something someone had written about the Maths teacher on the hall projector, “is seriously going to pay” from the head teacher had ever stopped anyone, so, really, what does Dan have to lose? Sure, they could trace the phone number, but that doesn’t prove anything – he could just as easily throw on the ‘innocent’ act and say it was his friend.

07843983276, he writes. He doesn’t sign it off with any comment, nor kisses, not even a smiley face let alone a winking one. He just leaves it there, in a kind-of conspicuous place just above eye-level on the right hand side of the door, eleven digits amidst many others.

Keep reading

10

every westallen scene ever (133/?)

Holmes Family Christmas

Mrs. Holmes: Oh I just wish Eurus could be here to see this

Mr. Holmes: It’s alright darling, she’s in a better place

Mycroft: *looking down guiltily, thinking of his sister in a jail cell*

Sherlock: Who in the bloody heck is Eurus 

  • Gryffindor: You need to get out more!
  • Ravenclaw: Why?
  • Gryffindor: Idk, socialness is good for you.
  • Ravenclaw: First of all, socialness isn't a word, and yes, social interaction is necessary for a healthy lifestyle...
  • Gryffindor: Sure, whatever, let's go!
  • *arrives at party*
  • Ravenclaw: *hides and reads book*
The 5th House and Style/Design

Aries in the 5th House: Give them dynamic and fierce designs, is attracted to reds, bright lighting, leather couches, and likes a room to be lively.

Taurus in the 5th house: All about comfort and class. Expect decorative pillows, silk sheets, or maybe a snuggie. Loves candles, mood lighting, and elegant touch ups.

Gemini in the 5th House: Fun and colorful designs, might want a bookcase or two in their home, and is all about technology.  Likes quirky objects in their home and is attracted to unique jewelry.

Cancer in the 5th House: All about comfort! Give them a home that has plenty of pillows, quilted blankets, and heirlooms around the house. Their home has plenty of photos of family and friends, is attracted to water, likes dim lighting, and is a night owl. The kitchen and bedroom are the most important rooms to them. The smell of food cooking is their favorite.

Leo in the 5th House: Bold decorations, furniture and amenities perfect for entertaining, plenty of wine, creative style, and an inviting atmosphere.

Virgo in the 5th House: Minimalist, highly functional in design and furniture, and likes a touch of nature in their home.  Might have a gym and is all about putting health first.

Libra in the 5th House: Great aesthetics, candles, curtains, crystals, decorative pillows, a light touch and accent, home is perfect for hosting.

Scorpio in the 5th House: Attracted to darker colors and keeps loved ones and hobbies close to their heart and home. Photographs and posters dominate, likes mood lighting, and don’t forget the lingerie.

Sagittarius in the 5th House: Attracted to wide open spaces, likes to keep things simple yet unique, and their home might be a bit of a mess.  Evidence of hobbies around their home and designs are vibrant in color.

Capricorn in the 5th House: All about quality of furniture, paint, etc. Likes to keep a rug or high-end painting. Attracted to fireplaces and leather, all about earthy or classy designs.

Aquarius in the 5th House: Plenty of vintage, boho styles, or futuristic designs. All about technology and the unconventional. Imagine lava lamps or experimental furniture.

Pisces in the 5th House: Decorates their home with their own artwork, can be disorganized and unpractical. Imagine a pile of clothes on the floor, designs are flowy, and they are attracted to water.