all about elizabeth

  • Me: sees queen Elizabeth is trending
  • Me: hasn't had an emergency news alert from the BBC
  • Me: is confused

Related to this incident a few days ago where I was f-r-e-a-k-i-n-g o-u-t that I couldn’t sign in for two hours #dramallamas

I’m sorry, Seven, but imma still go for Juju so just wait. Your. TURN. B O I .


Here’s my breakdown of what happened at C2E2!

I spent Friday attending professional panels for the comics industry, which probably deserves a post of its own, but I don’t think anyone is interested in me talking shop. But Saturday was devoted to Agents of SHIELD stuff with Iain and Liz. I had an amazing time and so many awesome things happened. Truly it was the best con experience I’ve ever had and, as @bigfunnywords (HEY Tumblr finally let me tag you!) said, I lived my best life. I’ll try to do the tl;dr version but this will probably get long.

Putting the rest behind a cut for your scrolling convenience.

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How not to be an asshole to your restaurant host.

I’m a hostess in a restaurant. Now, I deal with some seriously awful people at the host stand, and then I deal with people who are just sort of annoying. I know that people who work in restaurants are usually much more patient and easier to deal with than people who don’t, so I’m going to assume that people aren’t obnoxious on purpose, but because they’re not really sure how restaurants work. SO! Quick run-down on some restaurant etiquette, particularly where hosts are concerned!

First things first, here’s what hosts do: We seat guests at tables. We don’t do this arbitrarily. As Tumblr has become well-aware lately, servers live on their tips, so the host’s job is to make sure each server has roughly the same amount of tables. To do this, a standard dining room is split into sections, and each server has their own section, and then the host seats the servers in a rotation in order to make sure they’re each getting the same amount of tables, so they can make, in theory, if people tip as they’re supposed to tip, the same amount of money. 

So based on this information, here’s what to do and what not to do when you’re in a restaurant:

  • If you don’t see a sign that says, “Please seat yourselves,” assume that there is a host that will seat you. If something looks like a host stand, it probably is one. If there is no host standing there, DO NOT just sit yourself. Assume that the host is seating another table and will be back momentarily. Patience goes a long way.
  • Don’t ask for a booth unless you’re offered one. A lot of hosts will ask, “Would you like a booth or a table?” If they DON’T ask this, it means that one or the other option (usually the booth) isn’t available at that moment. Or if it IS available, it’s not in the section of the server whose turn it is in rotation. If you demand a booth, most hosts will seat you at one, even if it’s out of rotation, but know that this might end up screwing over one of the servers or, if that doesn’t matter to you, might mean that the server you’ve ended up with is overburdened and your service will suffer as a result.
  • I cannot address this next point fully enough: KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE IN YOUR PARTY. Don’t estimate. Know who’s coming with like, a one-person margin of error, because we can usually deal with one person. But when you tell us you have ten people, and then suddenly, seven more come - we often don’t have the room to accommodate, especially on a very busy night. Some people do this on purpose, thinking it will get them a table faster and then we can just add on tables as they need them. But on nights with waits, YOU’RE going to be the one upset and frustrated when all of your friends that you didn’t tell us about have to wait two hours for the next available table because you didn’t tell us how many people there were going to be in the first place. We do our best to accommodate you, but we can’t work miracles, and you can’t expect us to suddenly find room we don’t have.
  • On a similar note, if you’re on a wait, you’ve been given a wait time. Make note of what time you came in, and how long you’ve been told to wait, and then WAIT THAT TIME. If we call you sooner than that, great! That’s what we try to do. But don’t check in with us every five minutes about where your spot on the list is, because we’re going to tell you the same thing every time: “Sir, we said 45 minutes; it’s only been 10.” It’s a waste of our time and yours for you to keep asking, especially when we have a lot of people swarming around us, trying to get their names on a list. Now, if you hit your wait time and haven’t heard from us, then you can come check on the status of your table, and we’ll be both happy to help you and apologetic. But for the most part, we’re going to get you seated in your allotted time, and it’s going to be fine, and you will survive, I promise.
  • Just so you know, most hosts CONSIDER CHILDREN PEOPLE. I don’t know what it is about people that they think babies and children don’t qualify as members of your party, but they do, because they take up space, and we need to make space for them. If you have a party of eleven adults and two children, great! Say just that, then we can get you high-chairs or kids’ menus or whatever you need! if you just say eleven people, we’re going to assume the kids are a part of that, and we’re going to set you up for eleven people, and then suddenly, we have no room for the children. 
  • Don’t stand at the host stand when we give you a wait and look around the dining room and point at a table and say, “Why can’t I have that one?” We always have a reason. Either your party is too big/too small for that particular table, or we have just called another party already on the wait list for that table, or someone’s made reservations and we’re holding it for them. We’re not just not giving it to you out of pettiness. We can’t put you there for a reason.

If hosts/hostesses can think of anything else to add to this, go for it! :3

soft lizzington headcanons
  • drinking coffee and doing the sunday crossword in their pajamas as they share a grapefruit and wait for agnes to wake up
  • red making an old family cocoa recipe only for lizzy to ruin it by dropping a candy cane in it and then laughing at his disgust
  • red letting agnes paint his nails and shooting the next criminal who makes fun of it in the foot  
  • spooning.  most nights, red is the little spoon because he likes the security of having elizabeth “octopus” keen hanging all over him, but every now and then, lizzy is feeling insecure and asks to be the little spoon and red can deny her nothing  
  • saying ‘i love you’ in different languages (and teaching the phrases to agnes)
  • picnics in the park or in the mountains or off hiking trails
  • massages. red gives the best foot massage liz has ever had and she always sneakily finds a way for him to give her one. (like, coming home and sighing as she takes off her shoes just loud enough that he can hear it.  and then sitting at the kitchen table and propping her foot in his lap.  wiggling her toes when he ignores her at first and then poking him with her toes until he grabs them and tickles her.  only then will he rub her feet.)
  • red makes these elaborate dinners for lizzy until she’s finally like “please can we just get take out like i cannot handle any more five course meals i just want noodles lol”
  • red tucking a blanket around liz on the plane cause he knows plane air makes her cold
  • he also keeps bottles of lotion cause he knows the air makes her skin dry
  • trips to the farmers markets in the summer to get fresh peaches
  • red keeping bananas on the kitchen counter at all times because he loves to watch lizzy eat them the dirty old pervert
  • liz installing hooks by the doors of every safe house for reds hats
  • making sugar cookies once a month and letting agnes decorate some and taking them to the post office (aram loves them and samar thinks they’re endearing and harold always compliments the ones that agnes decorates and ressler never says anything but he eats like three times as many as anyone else cause he has a terrible sweet tooth)
  • red and agnes doing puzzles lol
  • red just like touches lizzy all the time like he cannot keep his hands to himself. it’s not like hugs and stuff but he’ll rest his hands on her shoulders and like hold her hands. when they’re on the couch he encourages her to put her legs on his lap so he can hold them. she always takes advantage by angling for a foot massage
  • liz isn’t totally into all the touching but will straight up hold his hand when prompted. and she’s like proud of it too.  he initiates but when he tries to let go she’s like “nah we’re in this now handholding or bust” and he just goes with it.
  • they share a body wash lol. liz starts out with her normal body wash but runs out and just uses reds instead. he’s totally into the fact that she smells like him that he buys bottles in bulk and is just like “we have so much lizzy why do you need to buy more” and she’s just like “fine whatever” but she totally loves it
  • she steals his button downs all. the. time. he wants to be mad because certain shirts look best with certain suits and it never fails that she’s lounging around the house with the one he needs but every time he’s like “i need that shirt” she’s like “well come and get it then” and then neither of them can wear it cause it’s suddenly missing buttons
  • red buys her things like all the time. books he thinks she’d like and clothes he knows she would look good in and albums from artists he hears in little clubs he frequents all over the world and too expensive jewelry that she always scoffs over but he catches her looking at the pearl earrings he brought back from greece and she has this tiny smile on her face
  • red loves to play with liz’s hair and she’s fallen asleep more than once to him running his fingers through it
  • red’s even worse though cause he just about purrs when she scratches at the short cut of his own hair
So it was a very special Dave & Buster's weekend.

On Friday, I had a guest complain to a manager about me for the first time, and before my manager came up, he said, “You’re so stupid, there’s no way you graduated high school." 

Today, I had a lady ask to talk to a manager after I told her my computer didn’t have the function to do something she asked me to do, and after I gave her a couple options to fix the situation, and while we were waiting, kept saying, "The service here has just gotten awful. I mean, look at you. Why would they have you at the front desk if you don’t know what you’re doing?” (What was annoying was her daughter, who was maybe six or seven, just wanted to chat with me about my hair and my earrings and my tattoos, and was generally really sweet.) 

My manager was like, “If people are nasty to you, you tell me. We’ll kick them out." 

I said, "I thought the customer was always right.”

He was like, “Not our customers.”

Then one of the servers was like, “Think about them as guests, not customers. Guests don’t get to come into our house and treat us like shit." 


I will.


13/366 movies: A Royal Night Out (2015)

“The life we live is not fully our own. Blah, blah.”


i feel my original elizabeth theory sense tingling lmao