alien prey

It’s early in the morning and nobody will probably read this but I just had the greatest ‘humans are space orcs’ idea

Imagine if humans are the only species that experiences impatience.

Think about it. Most prey animals are extremely patient. Ever meet a deer or a rabbit in the woods and hold still to try and out-wait the thing? I can guarantee your brain starts sending bored bored bored messages very quickly, and your instincts start telling you to give up and find something else to do. Humans can do the patience thing- as evidenced by our endurance hunting methods- but our instincts tell us not to. Correct me if I’m wrong, but this feels like a predator development. I have the idea that if aliens are mostly prey-based, and we’re predator-based, then the aliens will be very patient and we just aren’t.

As an evolutionary development, being impatient can be brilliant. It means that we didn’t sit around and wait for the ice caps to warm up, we knew we didn’t have the technology to survive that level of cold, but we did it anyways. We were trying to send people into the sky and then into space before we had fully figured it all out, simply because we didn’t want to wait and think it out, we wanted SPACE and we wanted it NOW. And personally, I tend to be extremely productive and inventive when I’m feeling impatient. Mechanic is booked for a few days? I’ll figure out how to change my oil and tires and tint my car’s windows myself. Strawberry season is still 4 months away? I’ll get a heat lamp setup and grow them myself. Friends can’t visit and help move furniture for a week? I’ll build a trolley out of some toy cars, tape, a chessboard, and do all the lifting myself.

This impatience is what made us design faster cars, faster computers, faster internet, faster communication, methods of growing food faster, of processing food faster, we’re always looking for the quickest and most efficient thing simply because we are not patient. 

Impatience leads to a type of creativity and persistence that patience just doesn’t have.

Imagine aliens starting to realize this.

“You got to your moon before you had developed LED screens??? You didn’t even have computers that could do basic math?!”
“Well, what else were we gonna do, sit around and wait?”

“Your planes don’t have gravitational control? Don’t you experience discomfort from the acceleration and directional changes?”
“Sure. But we needed to get on the other side of the planet in a decent amount of time.”
“So… what you’re articulating is that you’d rather have physical distress than have to have a long journey?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Human____, our mechanical teams will be on site in several of your earth hours, so we won’t be going anywhere until then.”
“Screw that. Where’s the manual for this thing? I bet I can fix it.”
“But you don’t have any mechanical training.”
“I also don’t feel like sitting around on this rock for ages.”

“You’re back already? I thought your medical representative told you to not be walking on that limb for another of your weeks.”
“Ugh. I just can’t anymore. I’ve got to get up and move and do something, anything.”
“But doesn’t that hurt to walk on?”
“…You would choose pain over waiting?”
“What can I say, I’m not a patient person.”

Like aliens just being baffled that humans would rather work hard or struggle with a problem or even experience pain and discomfort. They, as prey species, are used to just waiting it out. They don’t have the same impatience driving them to get up and go and to fight through things just because they can’t wait any longer.

Human: Ain’t nobody got time for that!
Alien: Why don’t you have time? Is something scheduled soon?
Human: No, I just don’t feel like wasting time.
Alien: But… it’s not wasted. It’s time well spent. And you do technically have the time to spare for that. If there’s nothing scheduled, then you do ‘got time for that’.
Human: No. No, I don’t. It’s just… no.

Throwing My Hat into the “Humans Are Weird” Thing

So what if all the other alien species evolved from Prey Species? Like, humans show up on the galactic scene and everyone is weirded out by the appearance of this species with eyes on the front of their heads and binocular vision, and crazy good senses of hearing and smell compared to everyone else.

And then it hits them.

They just made first contact with a race of sapient, intelligent Apex Predators. Eventually, after the panic dies down and the other races realize that humans aren’t going to eat them, they realize how good they are under pressure. They can hear and smell things before anyone else, are capable of going days without food if they have to, weeks with very little food. Or, they can pull off these insane feats of accuracy with their binocular vision. Or smell what dinner is from three rooms away, or hear a ship’s system failure before the alarm sounds.

Something that bothers me about the Humans are Weird thing is that a lot of them focus on humans artificially augmenting their bodies with cybernetics, and that they use those to fight off bad aliens. But what about all of the humans who actually train to fight naturally? All of the Martial Artists who push their bodies to their natural limits and become unstoppable forces of nature. There are lots of martial artists that even focus on fighting from a disadvantage, (unarmed against someone with a sword or other melee weapons.) This bothers me, because by leaving this out you are leaving out a large portion of the Space Orc aspect.

“How odd, this human hasn’t augmented their body to be stronger or faster, they will be easy prey.”

Poor alien. Turns out that human was a descendant from a Russian Cossak who’s family ensured that the art of Sestema was not lost throughout the millennia.

“Oh no! that human is being attacked by that dangerous monster!”

Don’t worry, alien friend, that human was a bear wrestler on Earth.

“Oh, hey, that human is limping along on a cane, he must be a cripple. Easy prey”

Poor alien. Turns out that human practices cane fighting, and although he needs the cane to walk, he knows how to use it as effectively as a sword. and thanks to humans ignoring pain for emergencies, he can go without it for as long as it takes to shatter your exoskeleton.

“Holy shit! That human is huge! He must have gone through lots of gene augmentation!”

Nope. He is a descendant from the Vikings, so he has a naturally larger body, and trains in Judo, so his muscles are huge.

“Haha! I have a gun! This human has no chance!”

Poor alien, This human was a Green Beret and has barehandedly killed lots of people who were actively shooting at him.

this idea really only adds to Humans are Space Orcs, because we put ourselves under massive amounts of physical stress and potential injury to achieve being dangerous to protect the people we love. our hands are not good for hitting things so we figure out how to hit things with them. we push ourselves past average capabilities through intense training to increase our reaction speeds, improve our strength, move in unnatural ways to use a bigger and stronger opponent to our own advantage, etc.

Because let’s face it, even if humans could change our bodies to be artificially faster, stronger, and ore dangerous, there would be a huge portion of humans (myself included) who would prove that we can be just as good if not better through hard work, instead of taking the easy way. 

Even now days, we have groups who are devoted to learning about and practicing old systems of fighting. There is H.E.M.A, Systema, Kendo, etc. Now imagine these groups in Space. 

This gets very Warhammer 40k-ish, but I want space knights, or space cossaks, or space samurai!


A strong leader with no time for nonsense. 

No waiting for ideal conditions, you’re either with him, or you’re with the dead. A man of action, Ben encourages group involvement, but will quickly exile anyone that tries to cross him. 

Can turn it on when the going get tough. 

The safety of the group is absolutely imperative to Ripley…no one gets left behind on her watch. She’ll pack a lot of heat or swiftly improvise in battle, making her really shine when it’s one on one.

Built to tackle just about anything.

Erin grew up in a survivalist compound in the Outback. Any objects at her disposal should be considered potentionally lethal. Bonus: She’s a pro at securing a perimeter with deadly booby traps, making her a great asset for any group.

A helicopter pilot not afraid to get his hands dirty. 

Macready’s got a knack for getting to the bottom of things. He’s a trouble-shooter above all else. He’ll take the help if he can get it, but he’s not much of a people person, unless maybe you’ve got scotch on hand.

Chooses fight over flight.

Sarah’s primal survival instinct makes her highly resilient and capable of adapting to her environment & enemies in order to survive. However, her ‘nothing left to lose’ disposition also makes her incredibly dangerous to not only foe(s), but friends alike. File this one under: WILD CARD

The level-headed wise owl. 

An intuitive and intellectual chap, Sam’s approach is to stay ahead of the curve, often puting himself in places where danger will strike next. Not afraid to go at it alone, Dr. Loomis is undoubtedly a thorn at the side of any antagonist. 

Thrives when she’s on the back foot. 

A scrapper, Jannicke is big on defense. She can turn a killer’s misstep into an immediate destructive counter. Not afraid to play dead if it buys her the time, this opportunistic survivor will try to flip the script any place, any time.

My ragtag crew of protagonists when the world goes to shite.

In honor of Prey week, more art featuring something that stuck with me from the game: siblings.

I loved the Yu siblings. Alex seems so completely done with Morgan in the recordings. As the one who would show up to see my big bro at random hours with no warning, a case of warm cola in hand, and excitedly yelling about the brain-machine-interface conference my boss got back from or the new class I’m teaching, I have been on the receiving end of that look many times. He humors me anyway, probably because I still eat his burnt noodles.


i was gunna just do em telling stories but then my hand slipped and i got carried away

dont read too into this it gets depressing

edit: tumblr messed up the quality so click to make em better