alien aliens

independent.co.uk
Wealthy Bristol residents cause outrage by installing 'anti-bird spikes' to stop droppings hitting expensive cars
Wealthy residents have attached ‘anti-bird spikes’ to trees in a bid to protect their expensive cars from droppings, outraging environmentalists. The spikes – which are generally used to stop birds resting and building nests on ledges and nooks on buildings – were nailed to two trees in an exclusive part of Bristol.

The trees, located in the front gardens of privately owned flats in the Clifton area of the city, have been described by a local Green Party councillor as “literally uninhabitable to birds.”

One resident, who asked to remain anonymous, confirmed the spikes were “solely to to protect cars”, which include a number of expensive BMWs and Audis, from bird droppings.

They said: “The spikes are solely to protect the cars, there is no other reason.”

On the surface this seems like a bizarre example of man vs nature, but I think it’s stories like this that really highlight how separated our society has become from nature. In our capitalist modernity, nature and natural resources are commodities that must be bought, sold, exploited, and after that, in cities especially, often only experienced in a prepackaged, sanitised, controlled form. 

Nature becomes more and more distant and unfamiliar, so that when we’re confronted with it, it’s an alien world, and rendering trees uninhabitable to birds seems like a reasonable course of action to protect a sports car.

2

Akira Kurusu VS Amamiya Ren

An alien sitting in on a Basic Human Anatomy class:

  • The appendix sometimes does WHAT?!
  • Tail…bone. *inspects the nearest human student for any sign of a tail*
  • “I’m sorry, TWO lungs?”
  • *scribbling frantically* sometimes things are the wrong shape and that causes problems
  • Waste elimination happens HOW OFTEN?!
  • *sigh* That’s such a waste of nutrients.
  • *staring at a diagram* “Where are the gills?…”