alicia vegas

  • ok but kent parson has definitely been calling bob “dad bob” since he met jack
  • it started as a joke and he really only kept it up because it annoyed jack so much but then bob caught wind of it and thought it was HILARIOUS so it just became what parse called him
  • and like he loses touch with the zimmermanns after the draft but old habits die hard, ya know?
  • so several years down the line kent decides to come out. he’s secure in his position as captain, he’s won the cup twice, and kit purrson has a ridiculous number of followers on instagram. he’s totally ready. 
  • what he’s NOT ready for is bob zimmermann making a very kind (and viral) statement of support in the immediate aftermath. he knows it’s probably directed as much at jack as it is at him but still. they haven’t really spoken in years and kent was never much more to bob than “jack’s best friend” so it’s surprisingly touching
  • so then he’s answering reporters’ questions one day, maybe at a press conference or something, and someone asks him about bob’s statement bc ofc they’re gonna talk about bob zimmermann
  • and kent says something like, “oh, it was really nice to get that kind of support from dad bob-”
  • and kent’s not jack, he understands how the media and the internet work - he knows in that moment he’s fucked
  • it goes viral. because of course it does. dad bob becomes a meme. pictures of bob and baby jack surface with DAD BOB plastered on them like its grumpy cat or something. jack is mortified. bob thinks it’s hilarious. bitty retweets ALL OF THEM. 
  • and kent feels a little bad about it - dad bob was his thing, just between him and the zimmermanns - but everyone thinks it’s cute and it’s taken off some of the media pressure of coming out so kent rolls with it
  • he dodges questions about it and doesn’t retweet or repost any of the memes he’s seen. but one day kit purrson’s followers wake up to a new post:
  • and kent has posted the infamous picture of bob holding jack over the stanley cup side-by-side with a picture of kent holding kit over his toilet or smth making the same ridiculous face. 
  • the caption is simply “LEARNED FROM THE BEST #DADBOB”
  • (it goes viral. of course.)
  • jack just texts him a string of grumpy face emojis. bitty actually calls him, but is laughing too hard to say anything. bob links the post to his facebook.
THE PARSEWHUMPENING

A universe where Jack and Parse have reconciled to an uneasy sort of friendship, and Parse has also made efforts to befriend Bitty; Jack and Bitty, as a couple who have been dating for a couple months, view him as kind of a sympathetic hot mess.

“The rule for finding plots for character-centered novels, which is to ask: ‘So what’s the worst possible thing I can do to *this* guy?’ And then do it.” -Lois McMaster Bujold.

Lots of hurt, but like I said, it’d take a novel’s worth of comfort.  Sooo, this is pretty much just Zimbits and angst at Parse’s expense.

Bitty’s sitting behind his boyfriend’s bench at a Falconers-Cardinals game, almost three thousand miles away, when Kent Parson gets checked into the boards and doesn’t get back up again.  He doesn’t know when it happens, but within sixty seconds it’s like a shudder runs around the arena.  First it’s the fans, a hubbub of noise, people pulling their phones out; then the referees call a halt to the play the way they do for a commercial break and the players, confused and aimless, circle back to their coaches to see what’s up.  Then the Jumbotron switches to live footage from Las Vegas, where a mob of medical people are levering a very small black figure onto a stretcher.

“He’s alive,” the announcer says, causing a ripple around the stadium: relief, then a roar louder of conversation louder than ever.  Everyone wants to exclaim something.

On the ice Jack tears his eyes away from the screen overhead and turns, looks directly at Bitty.  He holds his hand to the side of his head in the gesture for telephone and his mouth shapes a word that Bitty understands: Papa.  Then he points toward the tunnel back to the dressing room.

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